Apologies for not updating this book. Now that I'm back from the dead lets start shall we?

1. When people say "Can I ask you a question?" I be like " You haven't given me a choice sunshine, have you?"

2. When people say "Oh you want to eat your cake too!" I reply "Damn right! What good is a cake I can't eat it?"

3. When I'm standing at the bus top and someone asks "Has the bus arrived yet?". Me be like "Why would I be standing here if the bus came."

4. Friend: OMG I'm so ugly!
Me: Yeah, that's why you have 197 images in a folder named 'Me' in your phone.