Sorry that I didn't update for so long and that I disappointed you guys.

I highly doubt you read my message on my board, so I will do it here and thankfully, I managed to recover somewhat.

The reason I stopped for awhile is because... my cat died. My cat... died of old age (He was 15) and I still miss him so much still.

It after happened right after we came back from Rome where we found out my cat have been missing for a very long time, two weeks in fact. Normally, he goes out, but he would always come back to eat and such, sadly... that wasn't the case.

I was so worried that I called out for him in our neighbourhood and a few of the neighbours actually told us they saw him, which is great.

Fast forward to Wednesday 24th April, just two days after the break is finished. I came back home, and my dad wanted to talk to me.

He said about how old age comes death or something like that. I was confused, so he said "(My cat's name) was here..." which I was so overwhelmed with joy until he said "but..." That's when I knew right away... piecing the puzzle together... he's dead.

I was so upset and cried so much over my dad's shoulder, I didn't want to believe it. It took me about 2 minutes to calm down where my dad took to me where his corpse is, which is in a bag... where he looks like he was sleeping.

I started crying even more over his death while my dad tried to comfort me and saying "... I know how you're feeling, but be glad... he isn't abused... killed by a truck... or anything like that... that he was able to die peacefully,"

Even if I'm relief he had a peaceful death, it still doesn't change the fact that I didn't even get to see him alive before he died one last time. So much of my thoughts were "If only I spend more time with him... if only I wasn't so damn obsessive with my hobbies and school..."

I had so many regrets in my thoughts about not spending enough time with my cat due to my own stupidity. I rushed back to my parents' room cuz my room was sprayed while my dad buried his corpse at our garden.

My boyfriend tried to cheer me up even if he wasn't exactly doing the greatest job, considering he never had a pet before cuz his mum hates animals. But, I'm always grateful that he actually tried to comfort me instead of just ignoring my problem and just saying "He's just a cat. Get over it" or some stupid shit like that.

The next day... my cat was buried and two of my family-friends came in to support me as they try to help me with his unexpected death. Even try to make me laugh a bit when one of them say "Well... look at the bright side, at least he didn't get hit by a car like my poor ( her 1st dog's name)!" (She had a new dog. I think she got the new dog a few years after his sudden death. I'm not too sure)

Thankfully, I managed to mentally recover, though not physically cuz my period getting delayed due to just recently coming back from Italy and the sudden death of him took a massive toil on me. Before you ask, no I'm not pregnant cuz I'm a virgin. It's not like I'm the Virgin Mary or some crazy shit. Heck, my mum told me she didn't have her period for three months when she first came to the U.K. Even today, I still haven't got my period.

I would often visit his grave and sometimes give flowers for him where I often prayed for him to rest in peace or I would tell him about my day and such.

My boyfriend suggested I should take a 5-months-break from writing, which I completely agreed with him.

Heck, I still cry over him. He was such a cute and sweet cat, even when he's an elderly, he's still so cute. He's always been adventurous and loves going out, unless he got injured, in which case he would stop till he's healed.

He also get into fights, especially foxes where he would come home with a few scars. We tried to make him stay in home, but he's too crafty for his own good.

Hehe... I still smile at those memories, even if those aren't the most pleasant.

So, I hope you guys understand why I must take this break to recover properly, especially with college and such. So, bye everyone. Aqua out!