School has been hit or miss lately. I can't say I'm satisfied, but I don't complain that much either. My grades are so-so; I mean, the last couple of quizzes have been particularly difficult. Yet, I know Mom and Dad expect more from me. I can't let them down, especially if I want to enter my dream college.

So, why do I feel like they dismiss my worries, claming they don't want to put extra pressure on my shoulders? I try asking Mom, but she's busy on the phone. Typical of hers. If she doesn't keep herself occupied with some random activities to avoid me, she does so with long as Hell phone calls.

I turn to Dad with pleading eyes, but he groans. "Leanne, I can't always give you the solution to every single problem. It's up to you to find it on your own." Does this mean he doesn't care about me enough to help me get out of this rut? When it comes to sucking up to the neighbors, however, he's always there to satisfy their whims.

Sometimes I hate my family. They don't understand that their expectation hardly ever match reality and that they can't change the past as they want. I guess that, one day, they'll learn the lesson the hard way.

***

I want to dig a big, deep hole and hide there forever. The latest Maths test went even worse than I thought. I can't go home and bring an F to the table. Mom and Dad will have good reasons to ground me for, like, life. I must come up with a plan. Now.

"Come on, Leanne, a low grade isn't the end of the world," says Katie, one of my friends, in an attempt to cheer me up. The fact that she's one of the top students in our class, however, doesn't help. It makes me feel even more hopeless.

"You can recover from that," adds Jo, another friends of mine. "I mean, you've faced much worse than a mere F. It's not like your parents are grounding you for life over that. So, stop overracting, okay?" No, I'm not exaggerating. My parents care more about my college application than about my wellbeing. I'm serious.

The other girls chime in, making me even more uncomfortable. How am I even supposed to tell them everything is okay when it's obvious it's the other way around? I need to take a breather. I can't let myself drown in this ocean of failures, or else I'll never be able to emerge from it.

"No, I can't do this. I can't go back home and bring another F. If I do, they'll lock me up for months!" Neither of my friends take my rant seriously. Maybe they do have a point. I'm panicking over a low grade, all when I have far bigger issues to tackle. I should be able to recover from an F. If I don't, it means there's a huge problem.

"I think I have an idea!" I exclaim, not realizing I have all eyes on me until Katie and Jo clear their throats. Well, yet another poor figure to add to my collection... When will I ever stop embarrassing myself and start showing some real composure?

"I guess I'll expose it during the break... Okay?" My friends nod; fortunately, the rest of the class goes back to minding their own business. I don't know why, but I successfully managed to avert a crisis that could have serious consequences if not faced properly.

I can't be satisfied, to be honest. While those bozos at least kept their nasty bullshit off their mouths, this doesn't mean I'm safe. Mrs. Luther has been keeping an eye on me since the beginning of the class, which is a bad sign. What if she'll talk to Mom and Dad about my off again, on again school performance?

Rather than scolding me, she just throws random glares at me, much to my confusion. Is she messing with me? Or does she have bigger—and nastier—plans for me? I don't want to find out, to be honest. I decide to keep my head low and just focus on the class until this nightmare is over. For now.

***

I take advantage of lunch to expose my plan to my friends. If I want it to succeed, I need as much support as possible, and they're the only ones who are willing to give a chance to this crazy project. I don't think I can count on my parents, though. They'll be adamant I slave off on textbooks only.

"So, I thought about this for a while, and think this is the right time to enact my plan. In other words, I'm considering taking up a part-time job," I explain. My friends are flabbergasted. Katie and Jo shake their heads, Jess gives me a puzzled look, and Carolyne frowns at me.

What is bad about wanting to earn money for oneself, though? I continue. "This way, I'll kill two birds with a stone, and more than that. I'll be a little more financially independent from my parents, I'll use my time more wisely, and maybe this will give me a push to study harder and do better."

My friends keep not being convinced. I suspect they don't think a job is the solution. Too bad they don't know my family's difficult situation to the fullest. I have never dug into details with them in order not to scare them, but I have to prepare them to the shock if I want to keep counting on them.

It's time to pull the ultimate card, desperation. It usually works; I'm aware this time might be different, but I'm too determinate to just let go of the plan. If no-one wants to support me, their bad. I can do it on my own. They'll realize I'm not the idiot they think I am.

"Look, I know you don't sound convinced. You have all the reasons of this world not to be. But, please, give it a chance. I can prove I'm responsible enough to earn my money. Damn, I'll even take 'I told you so' if I get fired on day two. I promise." I put a hand on my heart when I talk, which makes the girls burst into laughter.

"Leanne, I can't speak for the rest. I don't think you're not responsible or mature enough to handle a job, but, please, think about it," points out Jenn. "Is it really worth the stress for you? Don't forget we always have tons of schoolwork."

"Darling, we only want the best for you," adds Jo. "What if you get burnt out between flipping burgers and essays?"

"Jenn and Jo are right," concludes Katie. "Don't do things you'll regret, or else we'll make sure to snap some sense back into you."

I laugh. I honestly thought things would go worse, so I guess I can be satisfied. Now, it's about finding the right job. I need something that pays well since my parents don't seem interested in supporting me financially for college and my chances of earning a scholarship are zero.

I love the idea of having my own money, but at the same time hate that I'll have to keep it from Mom and Dad. Not only they won't understand, they'll also shame me for that. Why do I have to be part of such a dysfunctional family?

Never mind. The more I talk about them, the worse I feel. I'd better focus on History class instead.