This took so long to edit.

PoV: joe

It appears, however hard I try to cope with what happened, I can't get past denial.

I get therapy from Elex, who’s arrived for that exact purpose. I talk about what happened and my experiences with other hermits – all the other Hermits, Xisuma returned spawn to normal, and Ren and Jevin returned from exile. I help organise Cleo’s possessions and read a eulogy at her funeral. I read book after book on handling grief, but a month on from the incident, I still expect Cleo to come flying into my base complaining about something or other that Jevin did. Or to catch Joel in the shopping district, bemoaning a lack of sales. Or to be chased around Holmdell and then spend hours chatting with Cub and Scar. Even though they have recovered physically, and to a degree psychologically, from everything, they remain hidden inside Cub’s base. And I miss them. I miss everyone. I miss how Hermitcraft used to be.

And I am in denial that it’s ever changed.

I say as much to Skizz, outside therapy, as we wait for Elex to finish his weekly catch up with Grian. He sighs, nodding in agreement.

‘It’s hard, man. I was always told Hermitcraft was this big, safe place, and now this happens, and… I’ve never had to deal with this before.’

‘And you weren't around in Season 5 and 6 when the ConVex, possessed Cub and Scar, were at large,’ I reply. Skizz nods.

‘I can't quite comprehend Clebert being…’ Skizz swallows back a sob. I fight my own. ‘Y’know… gone.’

‘I know.’

‘And Joel too… and Scott. And the fact that there’s no one I can just blame… I obviously can't blame Cub and Scar, what happened to them is absolutely awful…’

‘Blame the Vex. The horrible entity, or perhaps plural entities possessing Cub and Scar and, essentially, turning them into psychopaths against their will.’ I don't mention the rescue mission. I don't bring up the way Cub murdered that Listener in cold blood, barely even a hint of Vex influence beyond what’s normal.

‘Notch…’ Skizz mutters. ‘How are they doing? Cub and Scar?’

‘They’re very isolated. Some Hermits are avoiding them on purpose, for various reasons. A lot of the time there’s a do-not-disturb sign up, or they’re in the safe room instead… I think Scar particularly is struggling, and Cub’s just looking after him.’

‘Isn’t Rubbadub-Cub recovering himself too?’

‘He’ll just push it away until Scar’s improved.’

‘That’s… really not healthy. Why would he do that?’ Skizz questions, eyes widening with every little thing I say.

‘Cub’ll do anything for Scar.’ Again, the Listener’s murder rises in my mind. Just how furious Cub was, how long it took to calm him down.

‘I feel awful for not trying to visit. They’re my friends, and I’m just…’ Skizz sighs. I put a hand on his shoulder. ‘I think I’m scared? Am I really too scared to see my friends?’

‘I’m sure it’s not like that.’

‘Because every rational part of my mind tells me that it's the exact same Sir Scar and Rubbadub-Cub as before, but the part I’m apparently listening to is telling me to stay away.’

‘Yeah. I get that. The irrational part is telling you they’re dangerous, and your fear response is to stay away.’

‘Not even that they’re dangerous, that… I don't know… that I’ll make things worse by showing up, or I’ll just make myself upset seeing my buddies suffering.’

‘You can come with me?’ I offer. ‘I’ve gone over a few times and spoken to them.’

‘I think, what I want to do… can we bring them some kind of gift, some kind of ‘hey, Skizz still cares, he’s just a big coward’? I don't know what to get, though, or if they’ll even appreciate that.’

‘That sounds like a wonderful idea, Skizz!’ I reply with genuine positivity at the thought. ‘What kind of thing were you thinking?’

‘Well that’s where I got stuck, and abandoned them for a month.’

‘Yeah, Cub is notoriously hard to give gifts to… but he always likes cake. And we can pipe some kind of non-generic message that’ll at least be a step in the right direction to brightening his day.’

‘I hear Cub is very particular about cake, though.’

‘I know where to get the stuff he likes. Don't worry about that.’

The therapy door opens and Grian leaves, still talking to Elex about something I don't understand. I offer Skizz his place ahead of me in the queue.

‘Tell you what. You go first, and then while I’m going, you grab the cake, pipe something, and we meet outside Cub’s base?’

‘Yeah, sounds good.’

‘See you later, Joe!’ Skizz waves goodbye, as I enter therapy.

It’s an hour later that me, Skizz, and the cake we stole from the ConCorp cake factory arrive at Cub’s base. In particular, his main house where he and Scar have been recovering for the past month. The windows are covered, all the doors properly shut and probably locked. But there’s no do-not-disturb sign up. Skizz stays behind me. I knock.

It takes a moment, but after a bit, the door opens. Cub’s there.

‘Hey. Why are you here?’ he asks through the crack.

‘We wanted to check up on you, buddy,’ Skizz explains.

‘I’m fine,’ Cub lies.

‘And we have a cake-based present for you.’ I offer the cake. Cub’s expression lightens a little at the sight. He opens the door wider, enough for me to see him even more dishevelled than last time. There’s almost a smile.

‘Oh. Thanks! Yeah, Scar will definitely enjoy this.’ He takes the cake. Skizz gives an awkward laugh.

‘Cub, it’s for you.’

‘Really? You didn't have to do that…’ He places the cake to the side, somewhere I know he isn't going to eat it. ‘Well, thanks.’

‘And we want to talk to you.’ Skizz says. I notice his foot in the door. Cub pauses.

‘I’m busy. Looking after Scar.’

‘Have you gotten much sleep recently?’

‘I’m fine.’

‘Skizz…’ I warn. ‘Don’t push him.’

‘No, no… Cub, dude, we’re worried about you too. You’re our friend too, and you’ve just been isolating yourself.’

‘Now’s not a good time. Maybe later,’ Cub insists again, firmer, stepping away.

‘Give me a specific time, and if you promise you’ll be there to talk about you, I’ll come back then.’

‘Just go away, Skizz!’

‘Skizz, come on. It’s ok. He’s not in the mood to talk. Enjoy the cake, Cub!’ I try to get Skizz away from the door, but he’s not moving.

‘Cub, we are worried about you! Are you sleeping well? Eating enough? Have you been seeing Elex because he’s really-’

‘I don't need to be fucking lectured about my mental health!’ Cub snaps, slamming on the wall. A brief flicker of blue in his eyes. ‘Fuck off!’

‘Woah… woah. Cub. Ok. I’m sorry I pushed you too hard.’

‘No… no… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… shit… I promised myself I wouldn't…’ Cub shoves his hands deep in his pockets.

‘Cub?’ I take a step closer. Cub shies away. His gaze is fixed on the ground.

‘Just go away. I don't want to hurt you.’

Something clicks. Me and Skizz realise at the exact same time what’s going on.

‘You’re scared of hurting us.’

‘Of course I am, I’m a murderer.’

‘You were possessed.’

‘I murdered the Listener who was questioning us.’

‘I’d hardly call that ‘questioning’, Cub,’ I argue. Skizz frowns.

‘Why? What happened?’

‘They tortured Scar for information they knew he didn't have. In front of me. I was so upset I just…’ Cub lets out a deep breath. ‘The moment I was freed, I killed them. Bare hands. Claws. They didn't stand a chance.’

‘Any of us would do that. Xisuma practically did upstairs when he realised you were being hurt.’

‘I doubt that…’ Cub gives a hollow laugh. ‘I really doubt that.

‘Why would they hurt you? They know you didn't do it, right?’ Skizz replies.

‘It’s complicated. Vex-hating bullshit. They think we’re soulless, psychopathic freaks.’ A pause. ‘Sometimes they’re wrong about that.’

‘Sometimes.’ Skizz echoes, disbelieving. ‘Cub, trust me, you’re not to blame. And you’re not a ‘soulless pyschopathic freak. You’re incredible at, well, everything, and you have a heart of gold. Your biggest flaw is that you can't notice that, and forfeit your own health because of it.’

‘Cub? Is everything ok?’

Scar. Cub turns, a clear expression of worry on his face.

‘It’s fine! It’s just Joe and Skizz.’

‘Ooh, cake!’ Scar approaches. ‘Hey, it’s got something written… The dyslexia does not like that… Cub, what does the cake say?’

‘We’re here for you, Cub.’

‘Oh! It’s your cake! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Wait- shoot- won't the vex be all vexy if we have cake?’

‘Yeah. They will.’

‘Hey, would you two like to join us outside for a few minutes? Just… chat?’ Skizz asks, rather obviously.

‘Close outside. In case anything happens?’ Cub asks, with a glance at Scar.

‘Of course! Whatever you’re comfortable with!’

‘Yeah. We can spare some time… You two find a place out here and we’ll be out in a minute.’

Scar vanishes inside.

‘Only if you’re happy with that, Cub,’ I add.

‘No… no… it’s fine. You’re right. I’ve not been really… looking after myself…’ The last bit I barely catch as Cub disappears inside. Skizz glances over at me.

‘Notch…’

‘You alright?’

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine… just… I’ve never seen Cub so- just-’

‘It was a lot like this early season 5, but never this bad…’ My mind takes me back to the days of them exhausted, paranoid, not even knowing much about the Vex at all, what they’d become part of. ‘Nothing they ever did was this bad.’

‘I wish I could help them.’

‘You’re doing plenty.’

Cub emerges again, forcing a smile. Scar doesn't follow.

‘Is Scar coming too?’ I ask.

‘Maybe in a bit.’

‘Ah.’

We sit on one of the large diamond ore chunks nearby. I note Cub keeping his distance from us.

‘So how are you really doing, Cub?’ Skizz asks.

‘I’ve avoided thinking about it. Kept myself busy with Scar.’

‘You’re avoiding the question as well.’

‘I’m fine. If I get upset, or stop functioning, Scar’ll just neglect his own, even worse, troubles, to help me. I’m handling it when I get some time alone.’

‘How is Scar doing?’

‘Bad. He’s not improving. He’s not sleeping. Neither of us are sleeping, or really eating much, or looking after ourselves. He blames himself and I can't convince him it was the Vex, not when I killed that Listener, when I know I killed Joel and Cleo, and Martyn’s been left basically incapacitated, he’s still recovering…’

‘Oh Cub…’

‘We’re here for you.’ Skizz places a hand on Cub’s shoulder. ‘ what you and Scar have gone through is, excuse my language, so fucking horrific and no one should have to live with that,’ Skizz says, a hand on his shoulder. Tears run down Cub’s face.

‘I killed the Listener.’

‘They tortured Scar!’ Skizz replies. ‘For no reason!’

‘What did they even do to him?’ I dare to ask. ‘There was that device…’

‘They forced Scar to start glitching out. He was screaming. He ended up vomiting blood, and panicking, they were blaming us, and something in me just snapped. I couldn't let them get away with that.’

‘What the fuck.’

‘Oh Cub…’

‘What- Notch- that’s… and they knew everything anyway? Why would they even think to hurt you?!’

‘We’d just been caught guilty of murdering 3 servermates.’

‘You were possessed!’

‘Some people just hate Vexlings,’ I explain with an apologetic shrug. Skizz buries his head in his hands.

‘And associate all of us with the ones mindlessly killing, and agreeing with the Vex. While most of us are just trying to live our lives without some psychopathic beings taking control and… well… that.’

‘Notch…’

‘So they hurt us. And blame us. And tell us we’re not real players, because they don't understand how Vexlings work.’

‘They want someone to blame. Who they can actually punish,’ I say. Cub nods in agreement. Skizz still looks horrified.

‘And… and the Listeners, who are all about protecting players, they’re against Vexlings too?’

‘The ones we encountered were. Not all of them… I believe Jimmy and Martyn are Listeners too,’ replies Cub.

‘Cub, I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of shit.’

‘I’m used to it.’

‘You shouldn't have to be!’

‘What are you talking about?’

I turn at Scar’s voice. He’s standing there, hugging close to one of his vex-calming squeaky toys.

‘Here, join us.’ Cub shuffles along a bit. I make space between me and him and Scar pulls himself up, hugging close to Cub. I see the dark circles under his eyes even clearer now.

‘How are you doing, buddy?’ Skizz asks. Scar doesn't answer. There’s a murmur of something I don't catch to Cub. A reply. Cub hugs Scar tighter. I don't question.

‘Had any visitors recently?’ Skizz tries another question.

‘Tango came around yesterday,’ Scar replies.

‘That was 3 days ago, Scar,’ Cub mutters back.

‘Really? Wow… time flies when you’re- well…’

Silence, uneasy and painful. I struggle for anything to say.

‘Ren told me that Martyn’s recovering,’ Skizz says eventually. This does pique Cub’s interest, and mine.

‘Really?’

‘He’s awake?’ Scar perks a little. Skizz nods.

‘What does he think of…’

‘He doesn't blame you.’

‘Even after…’

‘You’re not to blame, Scar. It’s the Vex,’ Skizz insists. ‘They did this. The stupid Vex trapped you and hurt you because they’re stupid.’

Scar isn't convinced.

‘Sure,’ he mumbles.

‘Whatever it was, it’s over. And we’ll keep you safe. Both of you.’ I try to appease everyone bg saying.

‘You can't promise that,’ Cub replies. ‘You can't.’

‘We’ll try to. And it’ll be ok, in the end. Somehow.’

I hear Cleo’s sarcastic comment back in my mind and know I’ll never hear her again. Nor Joel. But I can still be here for Cub and Scar.

‘We’ll all be ok.’

The end!