Presents and pranks

Second Convex Week oneshot!

03:47, 8 / 20 / 24

'Ok, I think it's recording... Scar, say something!'

'Uh- oh- ok- Um- With a woof and purr and baby was born! Catdog! Catdoog! Alone in the world without a little Catdog!'

'And now let's see if that recorded...'

02:37AM 8 / 21 / 24

'This is the first official recording of Cub's dream journal, kindly gifted to me by Scar uhh... it would've been yesterday at this point, yeah, we spent a little too long on birthday drinks. Scar's passed out on the bed next to me, he's not going to wake up for a very long time... you might pick up on his snoring. So, I'm about to start try and fall asleep, but I'll start recording now so I can hear anything in the night. Scar did say I sleeptalk sometimes, so we can see if he's lying about that... anyway, I'll just put the recording stick there, and try to sleep... Scar... move your arm man... dude...'

...

10:35AM

'Oh! His new recordy thingy is going- oh, sorry, Cub... excuse me... yes, hello, future Cub, this is Scar speaking and- AH- yep- that crash, future Cub, was me falling off the bed... anyway! I currently feel terrible, but we did have a lot of fun last night. You're still fast asleep... look at your little sleepy face, you're so cute, Cubby Wubby, yes you are... look at your sleepy-'

'Scar...?'

'Ah! Oh! Good morning Cub! Good morning! How was your sleep? For the dream stick of amoyzingness and wonder?'

'Dude, I had the weirdest dream... get this, so... there was a space colony, but it was entirely run by space cats. And they were telling me, dude, the space cats in my dream?'

'Yeah?'

'They're real. And they warned me that they're coming to Earth soon to check out all our stuff. And they were communicating via dream that they were arriving soon...'

'There are space cat aliens?!'

'There are space cat aliens... I'll tell you more over breakfast, once I've switched this off...'

03:51AM 9 / 15 / 24

'What is this device here that the Humans have left, my fellow cat alien, Mr Fluffy?'

'It appears to be some kind of primitive recording device, ship captain Meowy Mews. The humans will be aware of our presence! Including this one here!'

'Use your magic yarn ball to deactivate it! Quick!'

'Hello? What's going on?'

'Aaaah! The human is awake! Run away! Run awaaay!'

01:35AM 9 / 21 / 24

'Shh! Quiet Finnie! We don't want Cub to wake up! We're here to make contact with intergalactic cats!'

'Mrrow?'

'I know, Finnie! Cub got visited by cat aliens! I heard it on the Dream Recorder I gave him! After he had a dream about them! And we're here to befriend them, if they're nice alien cats, and let them know they're very welcome here in Hermitcraft!'

...

'Ah, there we go, nice and cozy for our lookout tonight... we'll stay a couple hours, and then leave when it gets early.'

03:51AM 10 / 1 / 25

'Mr Fluffy! Be careful in there! You may wake the human again!'.

'The human is deep in comatosic sleepness, Captain Meowy Mews! We will be fine!'

'Mr Fluffy! You left fur on their paper technology!'

'The books, Captain Meowy Mews? I'm sorry! We should take some to gain more knowledge! This human must know so much about this land and of the universe than is known in the Intergalactic Cat Empire!'

'We cannot steal their stuff like evil cat aliens! We must leave a gift in exchange. Something they won't notice is alien, like the crystal of infinite cat food! Farewell sleeping human! I hope you use this magic wisely!'

02:27AM 10 / 3 / 25

'Oh! Look Katy Bee! It's the crystal of infinite cat food that the cat aliens left as a gift! It's so pretty! Though... technically the aliens gave it to Cub so he would forgive them for stealing his books. But those books were ones I gave him, and they've been here a while... hopefully we make contact with Mr Fluffy and Captain Meowy Mews tonight. Anyway, let's snuggle here and wait a bit...'

03:13 10 / 23 / 24

'We must thank the humans, for these wonderful books!'

'Is that why we're giving them a magic crystal that means all cats will do what you say and love you endlessly, Captain Meowy Mews?'

'Indeed! And for the human who left the note saying they want to know if they can gift us with an entire cooked fish and a pile of treats in exchange for meeting us with uh- Cub the most wonderful amoyzing human ever- we must assure them that the intergalactic cat empire graciously accepts this offer and the chance to meet with such a lovely pair of humans!'

'Now, let's leave before this one wakes up!'

05:51 10 / 27 / 24

'Scar? What's going on?'

'Uhh- nothing! Nothing! I just uhh... left something here.'

'Why are you sleeping on my floor- dude, are you trying to prank me?'

'No! I'm here to meet the alien cats!'

'The aliens cats?

'Meow Meow and Furry!'

'You mean Captain Meowy Mews and Mr Fluffy?'

'You know they're here, Cub?! Why haven't you been taking any of your magical cat related artefacts! They're amoyzing, Cub! Ever since I got the crystal of infinite cat food, I've never had to refill their bowls again!'

'I- uhh, thought you would appreciate them more?'

'Oh! Why thank you Cub! They also said we could meet them, but they didn't say when, so I'm upping my efforts to be up in time for them! Do you want to join me, Cub? In waiting for the Intergalactic Cat Empire to appear?'

'Have you got cake?'

'Of course I have cake, Cub! What kind of man do you take me for? Not having cake... Jeez Louise...'

'Alright... I'll consider.'

'These are wonderful, wonderful cat aliens, Cub! Why must you sound so uncertain about making their acquaintance? Wait, are they secretly evil? Have you already met them. Wait a minute! Wait just a minute there, mister! Are you lying about the aliens? Did you invent them?'

'There is a possibility I realised you were listening to me talking about my dreams and decided to start entertaining you.'

'Cub! You silly goose, I thought it was all real! You mean there's no Intergalactic Cat Empire?'

'Now, I'm not saying that. The universe is a very big place, Scar.'

'True true... But- hang on, if there aren't aliens, then why does the crystal of infinite cat food work?'

'Magic, Scar. Magic. Now, come on. Get some sleep. You've lost enough waiting for aliens. The bed's big enough for two.'

'You've been losing enough sleep imitating aliens, Cub!'

'It's not that much. I'm not staying for hours waiting for them to arrive.'

'Well... shut up! And budge over. You're hogging all the blankets Cub...'

'I'm not!'

'Yes you are!'

'Hey! Oh, fine... goodnight, Scar.'

'Goodnight, Cub.'

Hehee wholesome

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