Yes this is based entirely off an incorrect quote LOL
YES I'M BACK!
Warnings: Swear word (dipsh*t), Sam.

False was not expecting to wake up tied to a chair.

And she was definitely not expecting to see a pale, scrawny kid in a bloodstained white bunny hoodie standing over her.

They were old bloodstains, the kind that had been washed countless times and still never went away.

False knew from experience; experience no one alive had ever asked her about (Yes, there had been some idiots who'd decided to question her. Said idiots were never seen again).

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty," Bunny Boy said.

"Aww, how nice of you," False replied sarcastically.

"Ooh, a fun one! You'll be a great toy," Bunny Boy told her, using his knife to trace a scarlet line of blood across her throat.

"Are you trying to threaten me?" False laughed. "How cute."

Bunny Boy seemed taken aback. "Excuse me? You're supposed to be scared of me, I could kill you easily if I wanted to."

"So could a zombie. So could a hermit. So could a very dedicated duck. You're not special," False gave him a smile.

"Never mind," Bunny Boy pouted. "Time to call Gree-on and tell him I have you."

Yeah, that's gonna go well, False stopped herself from saying.

Bunny Boy pulled out an old phone.

"What year is that from, 2005?" False asked tauntingly.

"Shut up," Bunny Boy threw a knife at her, which False dodged with the practice of someone used to this situation (which, to be fair, she was), flipping over the chair and standing up, hunched over. Blood from her throat sprayed all over.

"Oh Gree-on!" Bunny Boy sang into the phone.

"No," came the terrified, disbelieving answer from the hermit on the other end.

"Yes," Bunny Boy grinned.

"How are you here!?" Grian demanded.

"You know me, Gree-on! I can do anything I want!" Bunny Boy teased.

"What do you want?" Grian asked, a resigned tone creeping into his voice.

"I have one of your friends. The ones you replaced me with," Bunny Boy told him smugly.

"I didn't-" Grian protested.

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk." Bunny Boy tutted. "Surrender yourself or I kill her."

"Her?" Grian suddenly sounded a lot less worried.

"Yes, the blonde girl," Sam told him. "I have her right here."

"Hi Grian!" False yelled, wincing at the soreness of her throat.

"Shut up!" Bunny Boy repeated.

Grian burst out laughing.

"What is so funny, Gree-on?! I am about to kill your friend! Do you understand?" Bunny Boy demanded.

"Oh, you think you have her?" Grian snorted.

"Yes, I do," Bunny Boy said confusedly.

"Oh, no, you don't have her. She has you," Grian told him.

And with that, False strode up to Bunny Boy and smashed her back into his, shattering the chair right on him. Blood dripped from her wound, dripping onto Bunny Boy.

Bunny Boy yelped. "What-"

"You're like half my size!" False chuckled. "Do you really think you're scary?"

"YES! I KILLED TORTOISE AND THE OTHERS!" Bunny Boy yelled.

"No you didn't, idiot, they respawned," Grian said from on the phone.

"But it was hardcore!" Bunny Boy whined.

"Yeah, hardcore, not permadeath," Grian told him.

"I hate you, Gree-on!" Bunny Boy screeched.

False knocked him out with a karate chop to the head, then picked up the phone.

"So, who's this dimwit?" she asked Grian.

"Sam," Grian hissed the name. "A friend from an old server."

"Doesn't seem very friendly," False commented.

"I mean- he killed my best friend, locked me in a shed, and made me eat plastic, so I wouldn't really call him a friend, but I don't have a better term," Grian explained.

"Wow, G, that's quite the past," False replied.

"Yeah," Grian sighed.

"I'm gonna leave now, you want me to kill what's-his-name- Sam- or leave him to you?" False asked.

"Leave him, I'll have Xisuma ban him," Grian told her.

"'K, bye," False said.

"See you False," Grian replied, then hung up.

False easily found her way out of the small underground room she'd been in and checked her inventory. The idiot hadn't even stripped her.

She pulled out the spare elytra she kept on her and equipped it, then flew off, ignoring the trail of red liquid she left behind.

Gem skipped happily down the path towards her stable. She inhaled the mossy scent of her peaceful forest home and sighed in contentment.

"Hey Gem!"

Gem jumped at the sudden voice and turned around. "Oh, False, you scared me-"

She stopped and stared for a second at her friend. After a minute she spoke. "You look terrible!"

"I do?" False asked, seemingly in surprise, and glanced down. "Oh."

False was covered in dried blood, starting at her throat and pouring down her clothes. Her light shirt was stained maroon with no trace of any other color.

"What happened to you?" Gem demanded, grabbing the taller woman by her wrist and dragging her into her starter home.

As Gem scurried away to grab medical supplies, False was quiet. When Gem came back with a bucket of water and a box of supplies, she finally replied, "Woke up tied to a chair, guy tried to threaten me, broke the chair over him."

"Oh my gosh," Gem gasped. She fell silent as she pulled out a soft sponge, dipped it in water, and began carefully cleaning off the blood. 

"Well, I'll just clean off the blood from your skin," Gem told her. "You should be careful!"

False shrugged. "Just another dipshit thinking he can pick on me 'cause I'm a girl."

"Whoa!" Gem exclaimed, eyes widening.

"Oh, sorry," False laughed guiltily.

"Don't worry about it," Gem grinned. "I've heard some things about certain other hermits.."

"Oh, yeah," False replied, exaggerating her words dramatically. "Cleo swears all the time and X swears like a pirate."

Gem nodded, eyes wide in fake surprise, as if this was the first time she was hearing this. "No, really?"

It was False's turn to nod... then burst out in laughter.

Gem joined in and the two giggled for several minutes straight.

"I should get going now," False said sadly, a hint of disappointment clear in her tone.

"Alright," Gem agreed. "And take a shower!"

"Will do," False chuckled. "Bye, Gem, you're great!"

"Thank you!" Gem beamed. "You are too!"

False was out of earshot, but Gem didn't care.

"Well, time to keep grinding!" Gem turned and cheerily continued on.

Word spread of False's encounter, and before long, the entire server knew of False's "amazing escape." False, of course, went about her life as if nothing had happened. 

The story went down in history, and became legend, then myth.

For years after, the hermits would tell the tale of how False escaped and got rid of the Bunny Boy.

 Bunny Boy never bothered anyone ever again.