I might do something with this if anyone's interested. might not.

1. Very unoriginal, but superhero AU (except it's literally the hermits RPing as the MCU superheroes)

(this list is copy-pasted from my planning document and i don't know why the order is like this- some names are different but you can figure it out)
A (note) after someone's name is a note for me about their personality/traits/other things I find helpful.

The story wouldn't necessarily follow the same path. (so Zed wouldn't necessarily be 'evil,' he'd just have a lot of power/influence/tech and Etho wouldn't die right away) 

oh and also, just because a hermit isn't a "superhero" doesn't mean i don't like them (Scar is one of my FAVORITE hermits!), it just means I think they fit the role of that MCU character. 

xB - ?? (Idk anything about him)

Zedaph (likes useless contraptions) - Justin Hammer (guy from Iron Man 2, rich businessman that makes weapons and took in Ivor/Whiplash) - because they both love machines

Impulse - Spider-Man

Tango - Star Lord? (Upbeat, uses tech)

X-I-Suma - Iron Man

Gremlin - Loki

Spoon - Hawkeye?

Keralis - Jimmy Woo

Joe - VISION! (Ship Of Theseus, anyone?)

Queen Cleo - Black Widow

queen of hearts heads and body parts - Scarlet Witch

Stress - Shuri ( or maybe wasp) 
also yes i consider shuri a legitimate superhero and you're not changing my mind.

Hypno - ?? (Idk anything about him)

Etho (ninja) - Quicksilver

The Red King - Captain America

Doc - Hulk (he IS smart and I get Hulk vibes from fanon doc, he just seems like the kinda guy to have 'anger management issues')

Jellie's Master - Zemo (for obvious reasons) and/or Strucker

Cub - If Scar is Strucker, then Zemo / Erik Selvig 

Jellie: Agatha Harkness / Agnes (Jellie gives me powerful witch vibes!), Valkyrie, Sif (yes all three)

OMEGA HALLO OF DOOM - 

Slime man - ?? (idk enough about him)

Beef - ?? (Idk anything about him)

TFC (grandpa) - Nick Fury (behind the scenes, providing support, overseeing the others) / Hank Pym (ant-man guy whose house

Wels (knight) - War Machine?

Master Of Sleep and clocks - Doctor Strange??

Bonuses!!:

Grumbot: Rocket
Jrumbot: Baby Groot

(Some) 3rd-life-people + Friends:
Jimmy (Solidarity) - Ant-Man
Scott (Smajor) - Ancient One: Peaceful and kind but POWERFUL and you don't cross them.
(yes, i know Scott is he/him but I feel like the Ancient One is one of the most easily gender-swapped characters and I just feel like this role fits him best)
Martyn (InTheLittleWood) - Falcon (sidekick to Red King)

Other popular MCU heroes/people that I couldn't find a fit for:
thor (lightning, arrogant) - um, no one fits thor at ALL, not one of the hermits is "arrogant" in any way.
purple grape (thanos) - again, no fits, really.
Drax/Mantis: no matches

let me know your thoughts!