A big thank you to WilsonsWits helping me figure out how to add GIFS to the top of chapters!

NO ONE'S POV:

(They're watching a recording of Kingpin & Eleanor.)

Clint: Who sent this?

Kate: Yelena.

(Y/N): Of course she did.

Kate: Apparently my mom is the one who hired her to kill you.

Clint: Oh, wow.

Kate: It doesn't make any sense. My mom doesn't even, she doesn't even jaywalk. And now she's working for the mob? [softly] She killed Armand? My God, I need to talk to her.

Clint: Kate, wait. You gotta calm down, okay?

(Y/N): Take a breath.

Clint: Let's talk this out.

(Kate calls her mom but she gets her voicemail.)

Clint: Your mom needs our help. That video, Kate, it's not good. The Kingpin will not take this lightly. He is going to react, and he's gonna do it in a big way.

(Y/N): Villains wouldn't do it any other way.

Kate: Clint, (Y/N), this is my mess to clean up. Both of you should go home, be with your families. You can still make it in time for Christmas.

Clint: Kate, you're our partner.Your mess is our mess. We're not going anywhere until this is finished.

(Y/N): Aren't we a fine pair of dads?

(Maya meets with Kingpin & Kazi. Cut to Clint, Kate, Y/N on a train.)

Clint: Kate, I'm really sorry how this has all turned out for you.

(Y/N): Same.

Kate: Well...Can't think about it right now. We've gotta focus on tonight.

Clint: [exhales] You're right.

(Y/N): Good on you for focusing up.

Clint: We need a ton of gear. Like a whole batch of way-too-dangerous trick arrows.

Kate: You can make more?

(Cut to a montage of Clint making arrows as Kate & Y/N help him. In case you were wondering, Y/N's helping by sharpening arrowheads with claws.)

Kate: [sniffs]

(Y/N & Clint notice this.)

Clint: So, this, uh, this holiday party tonight, is it a fancy thing?

Kate: Yeah. Formal.

(Y/N): I've got a suit.

Kate: Aren't you just prepared for everything?

(Y/N): Natasha helped me pack so...

Clint: You know, you don't have to do this. It is part of the job. It's always inconvenient. It's lonely.

(Y/N): Most of the time.

Clint: You will get hurt. Heroes have to make some tough decisions. So, if you're gonna do this...I just wanna know you're ready.

Kate: When I was younger, aliens invaded. And I was alone. And I was terrified. But then I saw you, fighting aliens with a stick and a string. I saw you jump from the building even though you can't fly, even though you don't have superpowers. And I thought, "If he could do that, then I didn't have to be scared." You showed me that being a hero isn't just for people who can fly or shoot lasers out of their hands or have claws, it's for anyone, who's brave enough to do what's right, no matter the cost.

Clint: [exhales sharply] *grins*

(Y/N): So inspiring.

Kate: I'm ready.

(Kazi & the Tracksuits are around the building where the Christmas party is being held. Cut to Clint, Kate, & Y/N arriving at the party.)

Kate: I don't see my mom yet.

Clint: Why don't you tell us what you do see? What are our assets?

(Y/N): What are our threats?

Kate: Mmm. Threats? That guy.

(Cut to Gary.)

(Y/N): He seems harmless.

Kate: That's Gary. He fired me from one of the only jobs I ever had.

(Y/N): So not harmless.

Kate: Assets? Well, we have those all over the party.

(Grills & some other LARPers are shown around the party. We see Jack greet some people.)

Kate: Wow. Jack's out of jail already. Nothing phases that guy.

Clint: So Jack wielding a sword, just out of jail for allegedly murdering somebody with one.

(Y/N): That's New York for ya.

Kate: Maybe it's his way of proving that he really is innocent?

Clint: It's a weird flex, but sure.

(Clint hands Kate a communication device to put in her ear so she can keep in contact with them. Clint takes a lap around the party, as does Y/N.)

Clint: You've got Yelena, right?

(Y/N): Yes. Why do you ask?

Clint: Well, Natasha told me about the first time you two fought. She ended up putting you to sleep in a triangle.

(Y/N): Actually, it was a draw.

Clint: Whatever you say.

(Y/N): Maybe I should let her kill you.

Kate: Please don't.

(Yelena arrives at the party.)

(Y/N): [sniffs] She's here. Making my way to her.

(As Y/N makes his way to his sister-in-law, Eleanor arrives & Kate pulls into the back of the kitchen, & Kazi starts sniping Clint causing a panic. Y/N & Yelena make eye contact prompting Yelena to run so...)

(Y/N): Yelena!

(He chases after her as Wendy & Missy kill the lights. Cut to Yelena in front of an elevator as Y/N finally catches up with her.)

(Y/N): [panting] You сука. Making me run after you.

(Cука means "bitch" in Russian.)

Yelena: Oh, Hi, (Y/N). I wasn't sure if that was you. I didn't see any lost dog posters. Nice suit. You look very handsome.

(Y/N): [growls] I know Kate's mom hired you to kill Clint.

Yelena: I actually want to kill Clint Barton. Being paid for it is an added bonus.

(Y/N): So, why do you want to kill him?

Yelena: Believe it or not, I'm doing this for you and Natasha.

(Y/N): And makes you think that either of us would want him dead?

Yelena: Ask Kate. She knows.

(Y/N): Ask--Okay. Your mission ends here. I'm not letting you kill Clint.

Yelena: You really are adorable.

(Y/N): I'm not play-

Yelena: Can I punch you?

(Y/N): What?

Yelena: Can I punch you?

(Y/N): If you want to break your hand, go right-

*CRACK*

(She punches Y/N across the jaw, sending him back a bit.)

(Y/N): [groans] Ow.

Yelena: Did that hurt?

(Y/N): *rubs his jaw* Yes. Why did that hurt?

(She shows off her fists to him, revealing that she's wearing...)

Yelena: Vibranium knuckles.

(Y/N): You got those just to use them on me? Do you hate me that much?

Yelena: No, (Y/N), I do not hate you. You're family.

(Y/N): Uh-huh.

Yelena: Besides, I had to get you back for slashing my stomach.

(Y/N): I barely grazed you.

Yelena: Still could've cut me open.

(Y/N): Enough of this bullshit.

(He grabs Yelena by her throat, lifts her up, & starts choking her.)

Yelena: [gasping]

(Y/N): I tried talking to you and of course you didn't listen to reason. So, I'm just going to wait until you pass out, lock you in a room, and let you out once this whole thing is over. Sound good?

Yelena: [gasping]

(Y/N): Great.

(As he's waiting for Yelena to pass out, Kate arrives.)

Kate: What are you doing?!

(Y/N): What's it look like I'm doing?

Kate: It looks like you're choking her!

(Y/N): Yeah. That's what I'm doing. I'm not gonna kill her.

Kate: Let her go!

(Y/N): Why...?

Kate: Because I can convince her not to kill Clint.

(Y/N): No, you can't.

Yelena: [gasping]

Kate: Please.

(Y/N): You really think that you can convince her not to kill Clint? [sighs]

(He releases Yelena.)

Yelena: [coughing]

(Y/N): Be my guest. Go right ahead.

Kate: Thank you.

Yelena: [coughs] You choke Natasha that hard?

(Y/N): I'm already regretting this.

Kate: So, I know you're chummy with my mom, but I didn't think you'd make the cut for the Christmas party.

Yelena: Kate Bishop, thanks for the save. I'm not here to ruin anything. I'm just going to kill Barton, have some appetizers, and then I'll go.

(Y/N): Not. Happening.

Yelena: Maybe even put down a dog.

Kate: Wow, you two really don't like each other. I hope you enjoyed the bruschetta, 'cause it looks like you already lost him.

Yelena: He's in the elevator.

Kate: Yeah, what, out of 65 floors, you think you're just gonna magically guess which one he's on?

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Yelena: Twelfth floor.

Kate: Damn it.

(Y/N): Some timing.

Yelena: Enjoy the party.

(She walks into the elevator as does Kate.)

Yelena: No, no, Kate, stay. You too, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Kate. Seriously. Stay.

(He follows Yelena into the elevator.)

Yelena: Bad dog.

(Y/N): One more dog pun or analogy, and I'm going to rip out your lungs.

(Kate follows them into the elevator & the doors close.)

Yelena & (Y/N): Ah.

(Clint is shown walking on the 12th floor. Cut back to Yelena & Kate standing next to each other while Y/N stands behind them. Kate goes for the buttons but Yelena smacks her hand away.)

Yelena: No.

(Y/N): [deep breath]

(She goes for the buttons again but Yelena just turns her around.)

(Y/N): Love your hair by the way.

Yelena: Thank you, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Just wanted to say that before...

Yelena: Before we fight again? How thoughtful.

(Kate uses this opportunity to go for the buttons once more but Yelena takes her down & holds her wrist.)

(Imagine Y/N behind Yelena, laughing)

Yelena: What was that for?

Kate: I don't know.

(Y/N): [laughs]

(Kate goes for the buttons once again, Yelena grabs her, & she twirls out of her jacket.)

Yelena: Oh, my God, what's happening?

(Revealing Kate's new suit.)

Yelena: Did you plan that?

Kate: Yes.

(Yelena looks at her skeptically.)

Kate: No, no, I...

(She finally pushes some of the elevator buttons.)

(Y/N): Mission accomplished.

Yelena: No, no! Come on, that is so annoying.

(She takes off her jacket.)

(She tosses her jacket over Y/N's face & runs out of the elevator. Kate & Y/N chase after her. The LARPers are still escorting the Christmas party guests out, Kazi & the Tracksuits get ready to take Clint & Kate, & Clint takes his bow out. Cut to Kate standing in Yelena's way.)

Kate: What are we doin'? I mean, it's Christmas Eve. Let's grab a drink, huh?

Yelena: Okay.

Kate: Cool.

Yelena: Yeah, sure. After I kill Barton.

Kate: No. No, that's not what...Come on. You don't need to...

(Yelena kicks Kate in the ribs.)

Kate: [cries out]

(Sending her to the ground. She's about to continue running but Y/N grabs her ponytail.)

Yelena: Are you seriously pulling my hair?!

(Y/N): Yeah, sorry about that.

*CRACK*

(Still wearing her vibranium knuckles, she uppercuts Y/N.)

(Y/N): [grunts]

(He releases her ponytail but before she can go anywhere, he spears her, picks her up, & starts driving her through some walls.)

*SMASHES*

(Clint gets Kazi out of his sniper's perch thanks to a smoke arrow.)

Clint: Kate, (Y/N), where are you?

Kate: Yep, give us a minute.

(Cut to Kate following Y/N through the holes in walls he's making. Y/N finally reaches the last room with a window & rolls onto the ground, over Yelena He stands over her.)

(Y/N): [panting] You done? I think you're done.

Yelena: Not yet.

(She turns quickly & still wearing her vibranium knuckles, punches him in the stomach.)

(Y/N): [grunts]

(She then begins rapidly punching him in the face, driving him back.)

(Y/N): [grunts] Ugh...

(Once he's close enough to the window, she...

*SMASH*

(Kicks him through it. Y/N is now hanging from the window.)

(Y/N): [strained] Come on!

Yelena: I didn't expect you to hang on. Hm.

(She's about to punch him in the face but Kate throws something at the back of her hand.)

Yelena: That really hurts!

Kate: Yeah. Yeah, well, so did the kick to the ribs.

Yelena: Oh, yeah. That was a good one. That was good form. Plus, (Y/N), driving me through those walls, real aggressive.

(Y/N): [strained] Glad you thought so.

Yelena: But I could tell you really wanted to throw a really cool body throw.

Kate: Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Yelena: Yeah.

Yelena: I'm sorry, I can't help it.

(Y/N): [strained] She really can't.

Yelena: Aw, (Y/N), you like me?

(Y/N): [strained] Well, yeah. We are family.

Yelena: That kinda makes me sad about what I have to do now. That was really fun. Bye.

(She places a hook on the floor, kicks Y/N in the face, sending him down to the ground, & she starts running down the building. Cut to Y/N falling, just passing Clint.)

(Y/N): Why do all the women in my life have the capacity to kill me?!

*THUD*

(Y/N hits the ground.)

Kate: Clint!

Clint: Care to tell me why I just saw (Y/N) falling past my window?

Kate: It's Yelena. Watch out!

(She shoots at Clint but fails to hit him. Yelena lands on the ground & looks over to see Y/N healing from his fall.)

(Y/N): *sits up* My back...[sniffs]

(He looks over to see Yelena. She runs away. Y/N gets up & chases after her. Kate & Jack, with his sword, take on the Tracksuits. Clint ends up in the giant Christmas tree after taking care of Kazi & fleeing some more Tracksuits.)

Kate: Clint! Where are you?

Clint: Right here!

Kate: Where's "here," Clint?

Clint: In the tree.

Kate: What tree?

Clint: The tree!

(She turns around & realizes that he's the giant Christmas tree.)

Kate: What're you doing up there?

Clint: I'm just hangin' out, what do you think? Have you seen (Y/N)?

Kate: I think he went after Yelena.

(Cut to a brief scene of Yelena punching Y/N in the nose, breaking it. He responds by throwing her through a store's glass wall.)

*SMASH*

Yelena: Ah, broken glass...

(Y/N): *hops over & pops his nose back into place*

*SKINT*

(He pops his claws.)

Yelena: You're going to kill me over Clint Barton?

(Y/N): No. I'm just going to maim you. Big difference.

Yelena: Do you know the difference?

(We see Maya look at a picture of herself, Kazi, & her father. Cut to Clint, still in the tree.)

Clint: Kate, where's our backup?

(He looks down to see Grills & the other LARPers in their LARP attires.)

Clint: [chuckling] We're all gonna die.

(The LARPers are escorting civilians away from the tree. Kate gets Clint out of the tree but first shoots out the cables & then shoots an acid arrow onto the tree, causing it to fall. Clint gets surrounded by Tracksuits but Kate slides in to even the odds a bit. Clint reveals to Kate that he's wearing his suit which looks great. They then start taking care of the Tracksuits coming towards them with all of their trick arrows.)

(Cut to Yelena currently backing away from Y/N's slashes.)

(Y/N): [yells]

(She ducks under a slash, gets behind him, grabs the back of his head, & starts punching him in the kidneys.)

(Y/N): Argh!

(Between punches; Y/N kicks out one of Yelena's legs, dropping her to a knee.)

Yelena: [groans]

(She takes out two explosives & throws one that sticks to Y/N's back.)

(Y/N): What the...?

(He tries to get the explosive off his back. As he's doing this; he turns to face Yelena, exposing his chest so she throws the second explosive & it sticks to his chest.)

(Y/N): [sniffs] Semtex?

(Yelena pulls out a detonator.)

*CLICK*

(She presses the button.)

*EXPLOSION*

(The semtex on Y/N's back goes off first.)

(Y/N): [shouts]

(The blast sends him forward a bit but then...)

*EXPLOSION*

(The semtex on his chest goes off.)

(Y/N): [grunts]

(The blast sends him back into Clint. The two land in the skating rink. Maya arrives & fights Kazi.)

Clint: Good to see you that you made it, (Y/N).

(Y/N): [groans, winces]

(Yelena walks around them.)

Yelena: Before I kill you. I need to ask you one question.

Clint: It's nice to finally meet you, Yelena.

Yelena: I need to know what happened. How could you just stand there while Natasha jumped? And how could continue to just stand there while (Y/N) jumped after her?

Clint: You never told her?

(Y/N): I guess not.

Clint: While Nat and I were saying our goodbyes, (Y/N) knocked me out. He sucker punched me before I could do anything.

Yelena: You're lying.

Clint: What?

Yelena: You're pathetic. You're so pathetic.

(She kicks Clint in the chest as Y/N gets back on his feet & tackles Yelena away from him.)

Yelena: [grunts]

(We see Maya try to convince Kazi to come with her to no avail. Kate confronts Kingpin. Kazi kills himself rather than killing Maya. Cut to Y/N holding Yelena down.)

(Y/N): He's telling the truth!

Yelena: Stop covering for him!

(She gets her feet under onto Y/N's waist & flips him over.)

(Y/N): Whoa!

(She flips him over onto...)

*STAB*

(The giant Christmas trees' star, impaling him.)

(Y/N): [screams]

(Yelena kips up & makes her way back to Clint where she punches him about two times then Clint holds her from behind.)

Clint: You're not listening to us. I had every intention to jump off that cliff.

(Y/N): [groans] I saw where things were going-

Yelena: No!

(She gets free from Clint's grasp & knees him in the face as Y/N is trying to pull himself off the star.)

Yelena: So, you're telling me you can't take a punch?

Clint: I can but...

(Y/N): [coughs blood] Adamantium skeleton.

Yelena: Let's see if you can take this.

(She takes out a staff & begins beating Clint with it.)

Clint: Wait.

(Y/N): Damn it, Yelena!

(Cut to Kate after defeating Kingpin by activating all of the arrowheads on him. She now has her mom arrested.)

(HANDCUFFS CLICKING)

Eleanor: Is this what heroes do? Arrest their mothers on Christmas?

Kate: I'm sorry. I love you, mom.

(Cut to Yelena with her pistol out, about to shoot Clint.)

(Y/N): If you kill Clint, you will never see Laura and Daken again!

Yelena: You don't mean that.

(Y/N): I don't?

Yelena: [groans]

(She puts her pistol back in its holster & helps Clint up. She then walks over to Y/N & pulls him off the star.)

(Y/N): *holes closing* Thank you.

(She places a hand on his shoulder.)

Yelena: I am against animal cruelty.

(Y/N): [sighs]

(He slowly walks up to his sister-in-law & hugs her.)

Yelena: Okay.

(He lets her go.)

(Y/N): Just...wanted to try that.

Yelena: It was...nice.

(She walks away & Y/N walks up to Clint.)

Clint: Why didn't you say that to begin with?

(Y/N): Shut up.

(Maya seems to "kill" Kingpin. Cut to Clint, Kate, & Y/N in the back of an ambulance.)

Clint: You know, I gotta be honest with you, Kate. It doesn't happen too often, but...every once in a while, you come across somebody that just makes you better...in every way. And that Missy, boy, she just...outdid herself with this suit, right?

(Y/N): I'm honestly regretting not having her make me a suit.

Clint: And this elasticity in this fabric...

Kate: Okay, you two can stop.

Clint: I know tonight was a lot. You took on Kingpin all by yourself. Not many people walk away from somethin' like that. And I'm so proud of you.

(They hold hands.)

Kate: Thank you.

(The trio stand up.)

Clint: You know what? We gotta walk that dog.

Kate: Yeah, we do.

Christmas Day
The Barton Household

(Clint & Y/N take presents out of the trunk of the car.)

Clint: You coming?

Kate: Yeah. Come on, Lucky.

Lucky: [barks]

(Y/N): Good name.

(They make their way to the door.)

Kate: Are you sure this is okay?

Clint: I'm telling you, they're very excited to meet you.

Kate: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): My families' in the same boat. Laura's always begging me to bring friends from work to meet her.

(Clint's kids greet him, as does Y/N's.)

Laura: Are those presents for us?

(Y/N): You bet, little lady.

Daken: You're back.

(Y/N): I am. You miss your old man?

Daken: Yes.

(Y/N ruffles his son's hair.)

(Y/N): I missed you too.

(Clint & Y/N hug their wives.)

(Y/N): You're so warm.

Natasha: [chuckles] I've been inside all day. It's good to have you back, killer.

(Y/N): *smiles*

(Kate with Lucky walks in.)

Clint: Right, yeah. Brought home a couple strays.

Natasha: You just love doing that.

Clint: It's an addiction.

Kate: Hi.

Clint: This is Kate.

(Clint's wife, Laura & Natasha walk up to Kate, greet, & hug her. Cut the parents watching the kids open their presents. Clint gives Laura her Rolex back.)

Natasha: Yelena texted me to tell you "Merry Christmas."

(Y/N): Oh? That's sweet of her.

Natasha: Yeah. Looks like you two may be able to get along.

(Y/N): It's a Christmas miracle.

Natasha: [chuckles]

Clint: Kate. (Y/N). Hey, wanna help me with somethin' real quick?

Kate: Yeah. Sure.

(Y/N): Lead the way.

(Cut to the trio outside where Clint places the Ronin suit on his grill.)

Clint: I figured you'd like to help (Y/N) and I end what you started.

(Clint pours lighter fluid on the suit, Kate pulls out a match...)

*SKINT*

(Y/N pops his claws, scrapes his claws together which creates a spark, & lights Kate's match. She tosses the match into the grill & sets the Ronin suit on fire.)

(Y/N): It's not fireproof, right?

Kate: So should I say a few words, or...Can I ask you something? (Y/N), you do if it's not too much trouble?

Clint: Yeah, sure.

(Y/N): I'm all ears.

Kate: What do you two think of "Lady Hawk"?

Clint: Yeah, that's terrible.

(Y/N): Not bad.

(They walk away from the grill & Kate follows them.)

Kate: "Hawk Eve"?

Clint: No, that's worse.

(Y/N): Awful.

Kate: Damn, okay. Hawk Shot. Like "hot shot". But you know, "Hawk."

Clint & (Y/N): No.

Kate: "Lady Arrow"?

Clint: None of those.

(Y/N): I've got one. Wanna hear it?

Kate: Of course.

(Y/N): "Hawk-ess."

Kate: I like that one.

Clint: You know what, actually, I have an idea.

After The Credits

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(The camera pans over the crowd clapping. Eventually revealing Natasha & Y/N among them.)

(Y/N): Is that really how it went down?

Natasha: I've told you how it happened.

(Y/N): I don't know. The musical seemed pretty spot on to me.

Natasha: Really?

(Y/N): You are a knockout that can knock someone out.

Natasha: I want to knock you out.

(Y/N): Okay. [chuckles] I'll stop.

Natasha: Do you think there's a version of this about what happened in Sokovia?

(Y/N): God, I hope not.

RayTheRipper: And that's Hawkeye! Before any of you ask; I will be doing "Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness." But it comes out in May. Until then I don't know what I'll be doing. Who knows? Maybe I'll do MCU Interviews like what StardustMaster has done with his MCU story. Hopefully Moon Knight. Do those last three custom "What If..." chapters. Or I'll give (Y/N), Wolverine, his very own solo movie chapter...