Promt: Natasha adjusting and finding herself in shield. 

| NICK | 

I'd rather be a lover than a fighter , Cause all my life fighting 

Sometimes, people forget that Natasha lost her childhood, that she had shoved her inner child so far down that most people believed that it didn't exist. But it was there, and when that little lost child came out, well it surprised all those around her, especially her superior officers. 

Nick Fury was one of the first people to see this child come out, and he had to admit it did bring a smile to his face. She was new to the entire agency, Nick took her to his office to finish filling out her paperwork when she noticed the cat in the corner of his office. 

"You have a cat?" While her voice was calm, Nick could see the little bit of excitement that appeared on the girl's face. 

"Goose," Nick said. "She's really a stow away." 

"She's cute." Nick watched as the pair of green eyes followed the cat, Goose was making her way over to the young Agent. She slowly reached her hand out, allowing Goose to sniff her, prove she was a friend. 

"You're lucky,"  Nick said when Goose jumped on Natasha's lap. "Goose doesn't normally become so open with visitors." 

"I've always wanted a cat." She admitted. "I... there was a small black cat who would watch me when I did night patrols. I think I was 13 at the time. She'd follow me around." He frowned, no kid should ever have to be doing a 'night patrol' at such a young age. "but they saw me with her one night, I don't know whatever happened to her. A part of me wishes she just relocated. Talk about stupid hope huh?" 

"I don't know about stupid." Nick shrugged. "Well Agent Romanoff, it seems agent goose here has taken a liking to you, so you can come say hello as you so please." 

"I can feel like this is an honor." She smiled. "Director Fury, people are gonna think you are soft." 

"Yeah well, blame it on the cat." He shrugged. The moment was over, he was back giving her directions for the paper work. Natasha smiled down at the cat, and it was then that Nick knew Natasha wasn't as tough as she appeared to be. Reminded her of someone else he knew. 

| COULSON  |

Never felt a feeling of comfort, all this time I've been hiding

Coulson was having lunch with Agent Melinda May, and Deputy Director, Maria Hill. It was a slow day, if Maria Hill steps away from her office to have lunch with them. Coulson liked the peace but the moment he saw Romanoff and Barton come walking into the area he knew his peace was just about to be over. 

"Heads up," He said to his own best friend, even if Maria refused to admit it. He knew that over the few months that Natasha had been in Shield, Maria had grown a soft spot for the agent. Coulson believed she liked her just a little more than her being a good agent, but that was just his opinion. 

"Look it's the three most boring people I know," Clint says sliding in next to Coulson. "Settle something will you?" 

"Why would we settle anything for you Barton," May asked barely sparing him a second glance. 

"Because Coulson is my SO, it's his job," He shrugged. Coulson was Natasha and Clint's superior officer, it seemed to be more like baby sitting at times though. While Clint was explain his entire idea and why it would be much better to make food smaller but make you the same amount of full, Coulson watched the red head. She seemed uncomfortable around her superior officers. 

"Are you okay Romanoff?" Coulson asked her, Natasha looked up at him, she nodded slightly. It did catch Maria's attention as well. Natasha's eyes kept looking at the food around them, she didn't really eat around anyone, in fact if it weren't for Barton, Coulson would be unsure if she actually did.  To anyone else she'd look okay but Coulson knew better from his young agents. 

"So what do you think?" Clint asked as he swiped a fry off of the deputy directors plate. Coulson sliding Natasha over the other half of his sandwich, she looked at his with shocked eyes. While the habit was small enough to anyone else, it had meant a great deal to her. 

"I think you are an idiot Barton." Hill said. "And if you touch my food again, I will personally put you in charge of baby sitting the baby agents." 

"Hey, no need for threats," He raised his hands up. "Message received. Nat, I'm gonna go check in on Laura, be right back okay?" Clint was an ass, so it was always surprising how he treated Natasha, like a younger sister. He knew how uncomfortable she was around shield still so he always made sure not to leave her alone for too long. "Unless you'd like to come with?" 

"I am fine here," She answered. Clint looked as surprised as everyone else felt. Natasha would usually use this moment to make a quick get away but she picked up the half of Coulson sandwich and just ate. Clint nodded and just walked away. 

Maria looked over at coulson raising an eyebrow at him, he just smiled and shrugged. Maria couldn't help but bite her lip to stop from smiling at the young agent next her. This was a welcome addition to her very strict list of friends. 

| Liho | 

And never had someone to call my own, I'm so used to sharing 

Coulson, Hill and Fury were talking in the Nick's office going over upcoming missions. Coulson insisting that his usually troublesome duo didn't get into too much trouble during their month long mission, Nick was apprehensive. Natasha and Clint weren't exactly the most... safe pairing of spies and the boat wreckage he was sent coverage of was proof of that. 

There was a knock at the door, that caused the three superior officers to look up. Natasha was standing at the door, a jacket thrown over her arms, she looked to be carrying something. 
"Sorry to interrupt." She apologized. Natasha has been here just over a year, she was finally getting a understanding of how Shield worked, taking more risks, testing the waters. If she didn't involve Barton in so many of these troubles, the commanding officers would have been proud. Unfortunately for them Barton and Romanoff were now a duo, which means they had a lot more paper work. 

"Is there something you need agent Romanoff?" Fury asked. She would usually find her way into his office at a much later time to see Goose, she never let others see her with the cat though, so Nick was not expecting her. 

"Given, that you have a pet on board sir, what is the likely hood that I too could bring my pet on board?" She asked. Maria raised an eyebrow. 

"You have a pet?" She asked her. 

"Is it a puppy?" Coulson asked. "I've always loved puppies." 

"It's not a puppy sir." 

"Romanoff, you better not have a snake in your arms, or so help me I will throw you over board." Natasha looked at Nick, she was still having trouble detecting jokes among her peers. Normal behavioral concepts were still strange to the young agent. 

"He's joking," Coulson offered. "Mostly. I think." 

"What pet do you have?" Maria asked, sensing her unease. Natasha smiled and removed what looked like to be Clint's hoodie off her arms. Uncovered was the smallest kitten that Maria has ever seen. 

"This is Liho." 

"Doesn't that mean Evil fate?" Maria asked. She wasn't really a pet fan, she never had time for the things but even she had to admit, the little bugger was adorable. 

"Yes," Natasha answered not offering much after that. 

"I am nearly afraid to ask where you got her." Nick said walking up to Natasha as she held the kitten in her arms, her softly pet her. Maria and Coulson sent each other an amused looked. 

"She was following me Sir. On my mission." Nick picked up on the obvious attachment she had to the cat. "Barton said you'd throw me off the helicarrier." 

"Don't take Barton too seriously." Maria offered. "If anyone is getting tossed off it's him. May I?" She asked. Natasha nodded and handed the kitten over to her. She looked over at Coulson, he nodded at her with a soft smile on his face. They all knew Natasha would keep the kitten but it was nice knowing she felt comfortable enough with them all to ask. 

"I'm tired of not caring for anything," Natasha admitted. She wasn't the most emotional so she caught all of their attention. "If she will cause issues, I could give her to Clint, his wife is expecting," 

"No it's fine" Nick says. "As long as she doesn't start anything with Goose. " 

"Of course not Sir." She nodded. Maria handed the kitten back, Natasha's fingers gracing over her arm. It took everything in Maria to step away from that. "Thank you." 

"Yeah yeah," Nick grumbled going back to his papers. 

"Natasha I'd be happy to take you down to go shopping," Coulson offered. She smiled and nodded before walking out of the room. Hill watched her leave, her eyes lingering for a little too long. 

"Got something to say Hill?" Nick said, a hint of amusement in his voice. 

"Of course not sir." She laughed. 

"Okay back to work." 

| MARIA | 

Love only left me alone, but I'm at one with the silence 

Natasha sat in the edge of the Helicarrier, starring out at the sky. It was late, and no one else seemed to be awake but the few late night agents, who seemed half asleep themselves. She was at one of the very wide windows, it almost felt like she was on the outside, just threatening to fly away.

"You know," Natasha recognized Maria's voice right away. "Most people sleep at this time." 

"Is that so?" She teased. "Weird." 

"So weird." Maria said taking a step closer to her friend. Maria looked out at the view as the red head pressed her face into the cold glass. She looked almost sad. "What's the matter Agent?" 

At this point, Natasha has been an agent for nearly two years, and she had gotten pretty close with the deputy director, but she of course had a reputation to uphold around her agents. Natasha smiled at the little agent nickname and turned her head to look at her. 

"I couldn't sleep." She admitted. 

"Tough mission?"

"Tough life," She shrugged. "You know we do all of this, every single day, and we say we are doing it for the people, and that's great but sometimes I can't help but wonder why I am doing it." She admitted letting out a soft laugh. "You probably think I'm an asshole." 

"Asshole? No. Human? yes." She nodded her head. Maria looked around at her half awake agent before taking a seat beside her on the floor. "Sometimes it's crazy what we do and we need something to hold on to."  

"What is that for you?" She asked the older woman. 

"I don't think I've figured that out." She shrugged. "I know that people see me as this cold ass deputy director." She sighed. "and maybe that's stupid and right. I get the job done, I don't have anything to get in the way of making choices. But it's lonely."

"yeah." A comfortable silence fell between the two of them. Natasha sighed closing her eyes and putting her forehead on the glass. Sometimes she wished Clint had taken the shot, she appreciates him so much, but it was hard, moving on from that part of her, especially when that used to be everything she knew. 

"I can be that, for you. You know." 

"What?" Natasha asked pulling her head away to look at the brunette. 

"I can be your person." 

"Are we quoting Grey's Anatomy now?" Natasha teased. Maria laughed lightly. "I appreciate your offer Maria, but I really don't know how to love people." 

"It's okay." Maria said. "Neither did I. But I find myself being drawn to you. Unlike anyone that I've ever known before. Natasha I care about you, I want to make sure that you are okay. Tell me how I can help." 

"Can you just be here? Let me figure this out?" 

"I'll be here as long as you need." Maria said, she gently put her hand on her Natasha's knee. "It's not like these idiots are doing much anyways." Maria whispered. She really liked the small little smile that grew on Natasha's face. Natasha couldn't help but feel happy. 

For the first time since she was born she finally felt like she's belong somewhere, no one around her was manipulating her in any sort of way. She felt comfortable. For the first time she relished in the touch in another human being, she felt like this was innocent and pure yet nothing she's ever felt. Maria had no other alternate motive than to be there for her. It was strange but nice. For the first time as she sat in silence she didn't hear the monster yelling in her ear, instead she heard Maria's breathes, she heard her own heart pounding, and she felt happy. 

The silence no longer scared her.