Wrote this a while ago but posting it cause men are crashing and women are better. (Had a bad date) so enjoy Fury's lesbians 

Maria gets promoted to Deputy Director and has to break up with Natasha

Pre Established Relationship

"You can not protect yourself from sadness unless you also protect yourself from happiness"-Jonathan Safran Foer

"Congratulations Hill, your skill and motivation have gotten you this far, I am glad to offer you the role of acting Deputy Director- who the hell wrote this shit," Fury was reading the mandatory promotion speech to Maria Hill. Here she was, her seventh year in Shield, being promoted to deputy director. 

Maria had worked her ass off to get to where she was today, she had made sure she the top of her class in the army, and here at Sheild, and it paid off. Director Fury was offering her the position that most agents could only dream of. She would be in charge of creating a better and safer world. She would finally be able to feel like she's doing something she was meant to do, and she couldn't be happier. 

"Sir I can't thank you enough-" She tried to find the words to thank the older man who had picked her as his second. It was very well known that Fury was hard to impress, so knowing out of everyone in Shield, she stuck out, well that was a confidence boost to say the very least. 

"Please no sappy talk," Fury groaned. "This job isn't a walk in the park hill. It means you have to be willing to make sacrifices. You have to make the tough choices that other agents aren't ready to make. You have to be willing to do the job even when it seems hopeless. To us, this job, this is our lifestyle, do you understand agent?" 

"Yes sir," She nodded professionally. "I am ready to take on this role. I will not let you down." 

"I sure hope my ass you won't. The council thinks, Sitwell is the best fit for the role, however, agent Sitwell's...fieldwork is anything but impressive." Fury looked over at Maria, he could see the smile, the prideful one he may add, was just itching to grow on her face. Kids. "Agent hill you must understand the rules that come with being the new deputy director." 

"Rules sir?" She asked, an eyebrow raised. She was read the shield handbook back to front, there were never any rules stated specifically for being deputy director. 

"The unspoken rule of trust." He filled in. Fury walked over to the window, Maria following close by his side, he looked out at all the agents around him, some running drills, others working on repairs, and some being sent out on missions. "We are responsible for each one of their lives Hill. We need to be able to protect each one of them fairly. No one's life outweighs the others." 

"I am confused, sir." 

"Maria, accepting this job, while I can not tell you who you can and can't fraternize with, requires a level of trust with your agents, a level of respect. Respect that you are looking out for all of them. They need to see that you care about all of them equally, You can not risk a mission for one's person, is basically what I am trying to say." 

"You're talking about relationships," Maria said with a sigh. Her mind flooded to her girlfriend, the little red-headed spider who had taken control of her heart almost a year ago. 

"I can not tell you who to date Maria. But I can warn you, if it comes down to one person's life against the greater good, you have to choose the greater good no matter what. It's an easier task if you separate yourself from now." Maria took a second to think about this, she knew what Fury was saying. If she continued her relationship with Natasha, she'd surely be her number one concern on the field, how is that fair to her other agents? 

"Can I take a night to think on this Nick?" She asked, suddenly the smile on her face was gone. Instead, there was confusion in her eyes, and a frown playing with the corner of her lips. Nick nodded his head and watched as she walked out the door, "poor kid" He thought, but he knew Maria would work it out, she was the person to choose to be his second, she was capable of anything. 

|~| 

Maria took the rest of the day off, she went home instead of doing her end-of-the-day training session with May. She had too much on her mind that she was sure May would just punch her down quickly. She didn't need her former SO criticizing her technique, not tonight at least. 

When she arrived in her shield-issued apartment, she immediately knew someone was in her house. Considering the amount of security she had, she knew the only person capable of overriding them all was her girlfriend, so she didn't bother reaching for the knife she kept in the crevice of her uniform or her gun strapped her hip. 

"Hey, you're home early," A voice called out when Maria let herself into her apartment. The smell of something delicious filled her nose. Maria followed her nose to the kitchen where Natasha was seemingly cooking. Natasha had recently taken up cooking after meeting with Laura at the farm. "Hi," She smiled as she saw Maria, Maria tried her best to force her smile so Natasha wouldn't notice her distress. 

"Hi," She said circling her arms around Natasha's waist. Natasha's back was pressed against the taller woman's chest. Maria took in her wonderful scent, not knowing how the next twenty-four hours would play out for them, she wanted to enjoy every last moment. 

"Long day?" Natasha asked leaning back in her touch. 

"You don't know half of it," She mumbled. "How was your day?" She tried to change the subject." 

"Ugh it was boring," Natasha said. "Clint is getting old, I took him out during training so much, it's not even a challenge anymore Mia! I need to get May in the ring, or you." She said reaching back to nudge her girlfriend in the side, maria let out a soft giggle that normally wouldn't dare be made around anyone else. 

"I already told you no. I will not beat up my girlfriend. As long as we are dating, I will not get in the ring with you." 

"You are so boring! I'll just have to convince May to come down with me, Coulson laughed hysterically when I asked him to join me, he couldn't stop laughing actually. He told me he doesn't have a death wish. How did I get stuck the single most boring handler?" 

"No one assigned you to Phil," Maria pointed out releasing the redhead so Natasha could stir her food. "You picked him remember?" 

"I don't know what to say, he has a trustworthy vibe about him." Natasha shrugged. "Did you hear? Nick picked a new deputy director today," 

"Did he?" Maria acted like she was surprised. Surprisingly the super-spy didn't detect her life "any idea who?" 

"Clint thinks it Phil, but Phil denies even knowing that Fury was choosing today. My money is in May because she's basically in charge already. Besides we need someone brave enough to tell Nick no." For a superspy, Natasha was really offbeat with this one, Maria didn't say so though. "Who do you think?" 

"I have no opinion," Maria said, she made the mistake of letting her voice slip, it was so little no one else would have detected it, but Natasha wasn't anyone. 

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked. 

"Nothing is wrong." Maria tried saying. "What are you making?" 

"Don't do that. Don't try and change the topic. You know who Nick picked don't you!" Maria stayed silent, maybe Natasha would sense Maria didn't want to talk about it and drop it. Unfortunately, Natasha wasn't one to drop such an important topic. Since she arrived nearly five years ago, everyone learned, if Natasha wanted answers, she'd get them. Doesn't matter who's in charge. Natasha studied her face so carefully before a smile appeared. "Oh my gosh- he picked you didn't he!" Natasha practically jumped. "Maria! Did he pick you?" 

"Umm. yeah, he um he offered me the position." 

"This is amazing Mia! This is the job you always wanted! This is the next step of your plan!" She was right. Since joining Shield, this was exactly where Maria wanted to be, but she never expected to have to give up someone so important to her to achieve it. "Unless it's not so great?" Natasha asked studying her face. "You are happy aren't you?" 

"Yeah I mean I guess. It's whatever." 

"It's not just whatever Maria, you've been talking about this forever! And now it's here! Why aren't you more excited." 

"It's just a promotion Natasha, and personally I don't even think I am ready for such a big step." Maria lied. 

"Oh please. Nick fury himself picked you!" Natasha said. "You are ready. I am so happy for you! Why aren't you happy?" 

Frustrated with Natasha's questions Maria let her words flow out of her mouth quickly. It all came out at once, she practically yelled that if she takes the job they have to break up. Maria could see the confusion written all over the red head's face, so she kept talking, talking about the consequences and responsibilities she would have if taking the job. "I want this Natasha, god you don't know how badly I want this job, more so than anything in my life, but to do this I can't be with you and I don't know how to deal with that." 

Natasha didn't say anything. She didn't speak for such a long time that Maria felt herself sweating under the gaze of the redhead. She felt like anything she would say would be wrong.So she waited. 

"What are you going to do?" Natasha finally asked. 

"This is my dream Nat," Natasha frowned at Maria's words. 

"And what am I?" She asked. Maria had never seen Natasha's eyes filled with so many sad emotions that it offset her balance but she quickly got over it and felt a fit of uncontrollable anger towards the redhead. 

"That's not fair," 

"Don't talk to me about what's fair Maria." 

"You're asking me to give up an opportunity of a lifetime Natasha!" She shouted. 

"I am not asking you to do anything but think about it, Maria!" 

"No your asking me to pick you! For you to me my dream!" 

"I am not asking to be your dream I am asking what I am to you because obviously I am not your dream and clearly I'm not your future. You've obviously already made up your mind, I just wish you would have come to me so we can talk about it. You told me that in order for us to work we have to talk and now it's like you've forgotten all that. " 

"You are being so dramatic right now!" Maria said. "I thought you'd be supportive!" Maria did not expect such a reaction from Natasha. She thought out of everyone Natasha would understand. In all honesty, Natasha wasn't sure why she got so angry, it wasn't like she was in blinded by love or anything...right? 

"Supportive to a job where you have to leave me? Please do tell me, Maria, how am I supposed to encourage you to take the job where I will lose you? Huh? Explain that to me because I can't seem to understand it. I want nothing but the best for you but forgive me if I don't want to lose you in the process!" Natasha can't handle her emotions quite at this point, she felt so many things that she didn't know what to do with it but yell. 

"You are being ridiculous and inconsiderate to what this can do for my career." 

"is your career the only thing you care about Maria?" 

"It's the only thing in my life that matters, Natasha!" Maria yelled, suddenly there was no more yelling. The two women just stared at one another before Maria's dumb ass added one more thing to the argument. "Do you understand how hard this is for me?" Natasha laughed. She fucking laughed at her. 

"Oh I am so sorry you are having a hard time Maria," She walked over to the couch where her overnight bag was. "I will just make this easier for you." 

"Where the hell are you going?" 

"You go, Maria. You go pick the job. Because that's all matters is the job. I was the fool to think anything else and if I stood in your way I am sorry. But I won't be the one who holds you back any longer." Her voice turned soft. "You are my favorite person, and if being here is holding you back then I shall set you free." She said and walked to the door, suddenly Maria felt like her lungs were collapsing, her world was spinning, yet her feet were nailed to the ground. "I hope the job is everything you've ever wanted," Natasha says and Natasha just stares back at her, not knowing what to do with herself as the door opens and shuts, leaving her all alone, her apartment quiet. 

This is what she wanted. 

So why does it hurt so badly? 

|~| 

Maria had tried for weeks, texting, calling, showing up at her door, but Natasha seemed to be an expert in ignoring her. It had flown throughout shield already that Maria had been promoted to deputy director. The reactions were just as she expected, of course, people had her doubts but she didn't mind their opinions, because she worked hard for this, this was exactly what she wanted. 

But if that was true, why was she so miserable? It did sting a little bit when she came home to an empty house, having no one to celebrate with. Natasha had moved all her stuff clear from Maria's apartment, and everyone has picked up that the two women are no longer involved. With Clint dismissing her whenever she gives him an order, May giving her a disappointed look, and Coulson with his sad puppy eyes it was all painfully obvious that the relationship was over. 

Natasha didn't make eye contact anymore, doesn't find her at lunch, it's all a painful sting in her heart that she lost her. She really wanted to reach out to her, but what was left to say? They made their choices. Natasha made her choice. Why bother trying to fight it. 

"Barton, you will cover the high ground," This was another mission that would be controlled by Maria, and it was just a standard in and out a mission, there should be no chance of anything going wrong. This was good because when Maria had Natasha working under her, she tended to get sidetracked, she was working on though, there were more important things to worry about. "Romanoff you are going in, retrieve that data, and you both will meet at rendezvous at 0800." 

"No back up?" Clint asked, they didn't usually go in with only two members unless it was a standard undercover op, and this mission didn't require any spy work.

"No the building is standard, and mostly abandoned beside the occasional guards. We've had someone watching the base closely, there are about ten security guards that Agent Romanoff can handle." Maria said Natasha made no move to accept what others would have thought was a compliment. 

A few hours later, Maria was watching closely on the surveillance cameras from her spot on the Helicarrier, the body cameras on Barton and Romanoff running, showing exactly what she had laid out in the meeting. It was all going according to plan until Natasha was fighting off the ten guards who were running at her. 

"Director Hill, do I move in?" Barton's voice rang as he watched from a look-out tower above, ready with an arrow to shoot down the men. Maria knew if Barton gave away his position the guards would begin alerting other people.

"Do not engage Agent Barton." Maria decided. "Agent Romanoff time is ticking, man on your left has a comm, don't let him call for backup," Natasha grunted in response trying to take out the painfully larger men. Maria felt her throat fall to her stomach when one of the guards pulled out a knife and came at Natasha. She was quick to dodge but she still managed to slightly get nicked on her upper chest. 

Before long Natasha had disabled the guards and made her way to the control room where she copied the information they needed. "Great work Agent Romanoff, Agent Barton bring around the jet." 

"Copy that," Replied Barton. "Another great day of work done by me," Maria rolled her eyes at Barton's response. The cameras on their chest still played and Maria noticed that Natasha's breathing increased and her pace was slowing. 

"You okay agent Romanoff?" Maria asked over the comms. Natasha didn't respond and then suddenly the camera was picturing the floor, Natasha had passed out. Maria's heart immediately sped up as she yelled at Barton to retrieve her. "Agent Romanoff respond," She practically demanded but received no answer. 

It took Clint nearly seven minutes to reach Natasha and carry her to the jet that he had parked above the building. Maria would strangle the man if he had taken a second longer. She was getting visual updates from Barton as he worked on his partner. 

"I don't understand, she was barely cut, the wound isn't deep and blood is minimal." Barton's voice was calm, but there was an underlining panic that Maria picked up. Doctors communicated with Barton while Maria watched from behind. Her heartbeat was quickening. Natasha had to be okay, she had to. She had to. 

It felt like ages when Barton arrived back on the Helicarrier, doctors meeting him with a gurney. Maria had called up for Agent Coulson. As their handler, he should be informed that two of his agents were in rough shape. 

"She has to be okay right? It wasn't even a stab wound! It was barely a stretch." Barton complained. 

"It could have been laced with poison," Coulson said. "Which got into her bloodstream and is making her unresponsive." Maria listen to Coulson calm Barton down for a second, she needed to hear his reassurance, even if it wasn't meant for her. 

Hours later, Maria had sent Barton to his apartment to clean up and then report to fury for the final debriefing. Nick had first called Maria to his office, which had taken her a significantly longer period for her to reach. 

"Great mission hill." That was what he said to her. Was he dense or was he simply that stupid. 

"I would hardly call this a victory sir." 

"Why not? We got the information. You succeeded in your mission." 

"Na-" She immediately corrected herself. "Agent Romanoff was injured and doctors can't figure out what the hell is wrong with her! She crashed twice!" 

"Hill I see your concerns however, you completed the work you should have as a director, you led the mission, and got the information, and even sent Barton to see me and a medic, which is more than anyone could have done. Agent Romanoff's injury was unseen however that is not your job to worry about. It's mine and Coulsons." 

"She got injured on my mission." 

"But she isn't on your mission anymore. You handed the case back over to me, it's time you start the next case." Fury studied her face. "Unless that's going to be an issue for you?" Maria wanted to argue, she wanted to stand up and fight to see Natasha, but she couldn't do that without risking her job. 

"No sir." She replied instead. She took the file for the next mission and walked out of his office. Standing out there was Clint and Phil, who heard what Maria had to say, or the lack of what she had to say. 

"You are a lot of things Hill, but I never thought you were disloyal. Even after you broke her I figured someday you'd come back and you'd be with her when she needed you most. I see I was wrong." 

"Agent Barton, care for the way you speak to your supervising agent." Phil reminded Clint. 

"I don't give a damn about her rank. A few months ago you were her everything and now you can't even bother to go see her when she needs you most. I hope you got what you wanted Hill." 

"That is enough Agent Barton," Phil said with more force this time. Clint shut up but was still sending a glare at Hill. "Barton go get rest," 

"I am going to sit with Natasha," 

"Agent Barton that's an order," Phil said. Clint looked over at the man before walking away. Clint was many things, but he rarely ever disobeyed Phil when he got all tough like that. He walked away and Phil looked over at his friend. "How are you, Maria?" 

How was she? She almost wanted to laugh. How was she supposed to answer that simple, yet heart-wrenching question. "How am I? My ex-girlfriend is in the hospital because of my mission and Fury is telling me to move on now, her best friend hates my guts, for all I know she hates me, and I can't even check up on her because I need to prove to the fury that this job means everything to me!" 

"Does it?" Phil asked. 

"What?" Maria asked raising an eyebrow. 

"Does it mean everything to you? Because hill just a couple months ago you would have said that same thing about Natasha." It's true. Just because she took this job, doesn't mean she forgot about Natasha and her feelings for the spy. Of course not. Natasha was her world, he still is in many ways. That's probably what's making this harder. "Maria, I've known you a very long time, and so has Nick. I have no doubt in my mind that he is doing this to punish you. He knows what you are capable of Maria. You make the choices that no one else is willing to make." 

"Are you trying to make me feel better?" She questioned, because if so, he really needed to work on his speech skills. 

"My point is Maria, no one else can do this job like you, and if he can't handle you having a life outside of work, well then that's his own loss and maybe your talents are best served somewhere else." 

"You think I should see her?" Maria asked. 

"You ask a lot of questions that you should already know the answers to." Phil shrugged. "You know what to do. And if you choose her, choose to be selfish for once in your god damn life, she in room L228," With that he walked away leaving the brunette to her thoughts. 

|~| 

Maria sat at her bedside, the sound of the monitor beeping beside her. She looked at the redhead with a frown, she looked smaller now, hooked up to these wires. Maria thought about how she was handling these last few weeks. Did she cry? Probably not. Natasha was never one for such moments. 

Maria hated herself for letting the job get in the way of them. What hurt so much was that in the end Natasha probably understood, it was another painful reminder of how she grew up, how every person in her life would eventually let her down. It hurt Maria so much that she was now a part of that list. 

Pulling her from her thoughts, was heart monitor increased, and movement on the bed. Natasha's small hand was trying to pull the wires from her body. Quickly Maria's hand stopped her. Natasha's eyes found Maria's and the two just stared back at each other. Her heartbeat was still at a quicker pace than usual. 

"I am sorry Nat, I should have never pushed you away that day." Maria struggled to find her words. "You got hurt and suddenly everything was crashing and now I know that if anything were to happen to you and I wasn't there for you then I am doing something wrong." The heartbeat began to return to normal. "You're it, Nat, your it for me, and if that means losing this job then so be it." 

Natasha couldn't speak because of the machine in her mouth helping her breathe, but she lifted her finger ever so slightly to wrap around Maria's. It was at that moment that Maria broke down in tears, for what felt like the first time in her life. Natasha let her cry on her arm. They would argue, but right now they needed each other more than anything else. 

Clint came by to check on his friend and saw the pair. Natasha caught his eyes as the brunette on her arm slowly fell into a slumber. Clint smiled at Natasha and gave her a nod promising to come back later. They would be just fine for now.