Jesse's PoV

He was so tired... and he had a headache...

Jesse fought to keep his eyes open. He was just so tired of everything. All he wanted to do was it just... close his eyes. Don't do anything except lie on his bed and listen to music.

But no... he had school. Great. And secondly... well, there was no secondly. He was too tired for anything else. Jesse reached out and grabbed a pillow to hug, feeling numb inside. He had no friends... well, true ones anyway. Petra... Lukas, they left him when he needed them the most.

How could they just leave him alone? Right when he had that breakdown? They knew Jesse couldn't stand the attention... those people staring at him as he stood in front of all of them. Jesse wished... someone could just hug him. Love him.

He's seen so many couples around in his school. And they looked happy. Jesse wanted that... someone to love him. Be concerned for him. But no... Jesse's vision blurred a little as he tried not to cry. He had to live alone. And even if someone did like him...

How could anyone love him? A useless train wreck. Who cried whenever someone told him off or who had various mood swings? Jesse did find love once... but he had his heart broken and no one came along to pick up the pieces.

He had to do it all by himself. Jesse sighed and rolled on his bed, staring up at the ceiling of his room. He felt a tear roll down the side of his head, since he was lying down and all. He was lonely...

Jesse slipped on his headphones and blinked away more tears. Hoping that some music would relax him, he hit play and slowly closed his eyes.

**************************

A slight buzz woke him up... blinking slowly, he realised that he had fallen asleep... ugh. And that headache has been bothering him all day.

Jesse didn't pull off his headphones as he looked at his phone. A text message from some classmate of his and a snap from one of his so called friends on Snapchat. Other than that... nothing.

Jesse blinked away the sleep from his eyes, trying his best to wake up from his nap... which he didn't plan on having, to be very honest.

Jesse turned up the volume on his phone and sat in silence, feeling the bass drum thump in his head, drowning out that headache.

He looked at the clock and realised he's been sleeping for at least two hours. And he had homework to do... but he was so tired even after his nap. Most people disregarded it as laziness but Jesse... he just couldn't drag himself to even do the simplest of things like waking up or even eating.

And speaking of eating... Jesse felt a little sick of the prospect. Why should he eat to stay alive? He didn't even want to live... and maybe because.. Jesse sighed. Maybe because he wanted to prove to people that he wasn't fat. Since that's what they've been calling him anyway.

Well... if they said he was fat, so be it. Jesse had just lost his appetite... he'd start eating then... he'd just think about their comments and stop eating completely..

Jesse didn't know what was wrong with him... he sighed and got off his bed, feeling a little unsteady on his feet since he had moved too fast.

And... Jesse pulled out his drawer and saw the penknife. He had attempted to stop cutting himself but he knew it wouldn't last... he had to control himself.. he reached out for it but stopped when he touched the plastic covering.

Should he... no.. Jesse remembered the comments he had when other people saw his cuts. They thought he wanted attention. But all he wanted was... relief from his stress. Jesse gripped the penknife tightly.... he shouldn't.

Jesse closed his eyes, took a deep breath and slowly put it back. He had to control himself...

He couldn't worry anyone else again.

-End