Family Insanity (Jaiden)

Aiden's PoV

A/N: The idea of Benedict and Reuben is from @//AidentheAuthor.

"Hey, you okay?"

Aiden looked up, hearing that familiar voice. The one he's grown to know and love.

"Hey." Aiden replied, smiling weakly as Jesse sat beside him on the floor, the two looking out at the window in front of them.

"Nah. Not.. really feeling my best right now." he continued, looking at his fingers which were absentmindedly twisting a non existent ring. A habit he always did whenever he got nervous or when he was thinking.

Jesse tilted his head a little, "What's wrong? You know you can tell me right?" he smiled a small smile.

Aiden leaned against Jesse's body, feeling tears start to form in his eyes. Why did his gentle voice always seem to make him want to cry? Maybe it was because there weren't that many kind voices left in this world..

"It's just so difficult sometimes. I mean.. I'm fine. I know I'm fine for now but I can tell.. I'm probably going to be upset again soon. Over nothing as per usual." Aiden mumbled as a reply.

Jesse held Aiden's hand gently, comforting him as the two sat together. "Hey, what did we say about this? If you want to be upset, go ahead. If you want to be happy, you can do that too. I understand."

"But the kids don't." Aiden muttered, "Luna won't understand once I start again. Reuben will think it's alright to.. to.."

"Hey.." Jesse made Aiden look at him, pushing away a strand of brown hair away from Aiden's eyes, "It's going to be alright. When you're upset again.. we can just tell them. I'm sure they'll understand."

"But Rueben's a teenager. And you know them.. they'd think it's.. cool or something but it's not." Aiden felt a tear slide down his cheek as he held his red marked arms close to his body, "That's what teenagers think."

"They think c-cutting yourself is such a-a cool trend... it's not. I-it's something I can't control. It burns. It hurts. And I just can't stop."

Jesse reached out, taking Aiden's shaking hands in his own and gently uncurling his clenched fists. "Deep breaths," Jesse whispered, smoothing back the other male's hair. "Okay?"

Aiden took a shaky breath, "What if Reuben... what if Reuben's like me? Mental?" he whispered under his breath, looking at Jesse with scared eyes.

Jesse shook his head, pulling Aiden close to wrap him in a warm hug, "You're not mental, Aiden," he told the trembling dark brown-haired male, "I love you, remember? No matter what you are."

"Luna?" Aiden muttered, still unsure.

"She's still her bubbly self, nothing to worry about." Jesse replied simply, pulling away and holding Aiden's hands.

He took another deep breath, and Jesse knew he was nearly calming down by now.

Which was a huge relief since Aiden usually got very riled up about his state of mind.. and it could sometimes go out of hand. Phew.

"You ready for dinner?" Jesse asked gently, looking down at Aiden as he looked up at him.

He sighed before nodding, taking Jesse's outstretched hand and letting him pull Aiden along to the dining room.

***********************

[Three Days Later]

Aiden paced around the room, fearful as Jesse tried to talk to him.

"No no no no, just don't overthink it, Aiden." Jesse was saying as the other kept going around in circles.

"But I cant. I told you." he replied as plainly as he could, continuing to work off the anxious energy by walking.

It was raining outside, as if the weather was picking up on Aiden's mood. The wind was so strong, Aiden could feel it even though the windows were closed. Or maybe it was just his frayed nerves.

Around the room he went as Jesse tried to reason with Aiden, trying to talk some sense into him. To snap him out of one of his moods again.

"Come on Aiden, think of the kids. What would they think?"

Aiden stopped walking, making Jesse wonder if he'd somehow made a mistake. Or somehow managed to talk some sense into him. Aiden did say before that the kids made his life even better.

"That their dad is a madman. Maybe." Aiden murmured, flinching when a sudden loud burst of thunder nearly deafened the both of them. "You're not mad, Aiden, please stop saying-."

"You're not helping!" Aiden snapped, getting frustrated with Jesse, of all people.

"What- I'm not helping?!" Jesse exclaimed, "Then what have I been standing here for? Watching you pace around the room over and over again. It's like watching paint dry or something!"

"Are you really comparing this to watching paint dry?"

"Hell yeah, I am!"

Aiden threw up his arms, "I don't even understand you sometimes Jesse!"

"Instead of snapping at me, why don't you just sit down and tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" Jesse nearly raised his voice.

"I'm sick and tired of you trying to make everything better when it CLEARLY isn't alright!" Aiden raised his voice.

"Because I'm CONCERNED about you, you maggot minded fool-! It's a feeling you don't HAVE!" Jesse snapped.

Aiden looked down at his hands, seeing that his palms had fingernail marks in them, red and throbbing with pain.

"Who the hell says maggot-minded?!" Aiden asked, unsure if he should laugh or rage. He settled on raging. "You're always acting like some stupid goody two shoes- HELL, if I wanted someone who treats me better, I should've married someone else! Like that Lukas, you're always whining about last time."

"Leave Lukas out of this, you uncultured swine-."

"Right. Do you have any other better swear words or are you just too prideful to not swear?!"

"The heck-? Aiden, I stopped swearing because you know I can't swear in front of-."

Aiden turned to see that the door was slightly ajar.. and there was someone sitting at the stairs, listening to their conversation.

As soon as Jesse had trailed off that last sentence, the figure darted off, disappearing down to another room as Aiden's anger vanished and Jesse looked a little ashamed.

Aiden sighed, "Go check on Luna... I'm go see Reuben."

Jesse took a deep breath before nodding a little, wanting to check on the kids in case they heard too much.

Aiden nervously rubbed his hands, not making eye contact with Jesse as he pushed opened their bedroom door, making his way to their son, Reuben's, room.

***********************

"Hey bud. You okay?" Aiden asked, pushing the door open a little to see the boy, sitting at the sill.

Reuben always loved wide open spaces, so they had installed a whole balcony for him to just go out whenever he wanted to see outside.

It was still raining, so the little kid had to sit at the sill, with the windows closed. "Hey Dad." Reuben muttered, hugging his knees to his chest as he stared up at the dark purple-blue sky.

Aiden sat next to him, not saying anything for a moment as they looked up at the sky.

"Sorry, if you heard us just now."

"Don't apologise." Reuben muttered, sounding upset. "I-I know I wasn't supposed to hear that."

"No.. we weren't supposed to fight in the first place. It was over a stupid matter." Aiden replied.

"Then can.. I ask you something, Dad?" Reuben asked, "You have to swear that it's the honest truth."

Aiden wasn't sure if he should really agree but.. he had to make it up to the kid. He and Jesse did say some pretty bad things to each other.

"Am.. am I insane?" Reuben's small voice asked, as Aiden saw him play around with a small cube. "The kids in my school say so.."

Aiden felt... a flash of déjà vu. He once had a conversation similar to this, but with Jesse when they were younger.

And something caught his eye. Two neat, vertical lines on Reuben's arm.

"I.. did that because of my crush." Reuben told him, noticing Aiden's attention on it, "Benedict.. never noticed me. He said he liked another guy."

Aiden wasn't sure what to say.

"Reuben.." he began. And remembered the same words Jesse had said to him so long ago, "You're not insane. You're just special... and have a good heart. You don't have to cut..."

Aiden held his son close, "You'll be with Benedict one day. Just wait.."

-End