A/N: yes, this chapter IS what you think it's about...I'm very sorry, but please read it anyways...👍🏼😬🙂
Let the tears begin. *hands you a tissue**looks at you**hands you entire box**grins evilly*

The van hit the cement wall with a crunch. Battered and bruised, I lay on the floor of the van, on my knees. I pulled myself up in time to see three vehicles driving off, the sounds of their engines fading as they disappear down the long, straight road, back the way me and the others had come. I glanced over at Lawrence and the pilot, both of which were fine.

Then, the strangest thing happened. I looked out the window and saw a banged up Crank staring at me from twenty feet away. It took me a second to register that the Crank was a friend. More specifically, boyfriend.

Newt.

Newt looked horrible. His hair had been torn out in patches, leaving bald spots that were nothing more than red welts. Scratches and bruises covered his face; his shirt was ripped, barely hanging on to his thin frame, and his pants were filthy with grime and blood. It was like he'd finally given in to the Cranks, joined their ranks fully.

But he stared at me, as if he recognized that he'd stumbled upon a friend.

Lawrence had been talking, but I only now processed his words.

"We're okay. She's shot to hell, but hopefully she'll get us another couple of miles to the hanger."

Then he switched the gears into reverse. He started to drive off, and it was like a switch clicked.

"Stop", I yelled. "Stop the van! Now!"

"What?" Lawrence replied. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just stop the freaking van!" I screamed.

Lawrence slammed on the brakes as I scrambled to my feet and went for the door. I started to open it, but Lawrence grabbed my shirt from behind and yanked me backward.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the man yelled at me.

But I wouldn't let anything stop me now. I yanked the gun out of my pants and pointed it at Lawrence.

"Let go of me...let go of me!"

Lawrence did, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Woah, kid, calm down! What's wrong with you?!"

I backed away from him.

"I saw my boyf-my friend-out there. I want to make sure he's okay. If any trouble starts, I'll run back to the van. Just be ready to get us out of here if I do."

"You think that thing out there is your friend?" The pilot asked coldly. "Those Cranks are way past the Gone. Can't you see that? Your friend is nothing but animal now. Worse than an animal."

"Then it'll be a short goodbye", I answered.

I opened the door, then backed out onto the street.

"Cover me if I need it. I have to do this."

"Just hurry up", Lawrence growled. "I don't care if it's your mommy or your Uncle Frank out there, if there's any sign I need to, I will start shooting."

"Good that." I turned away from them, slipping the pistol back into my jeans. I walked slowly toward my boyfriend, who stood alone, far from the pack of Cranks still working on their pile of refuse. For the moment, they seemed satisfied with that-they didn't seem interested in me.

I walked half the distance to Newt, then stopped. The worst part about him was the wildness in his eyes. Madness lurked behind them, two festering pools of sickness. How had it happened so quickly? It hurt me to see him like this.

"Hey Newt. It's me, (y/n). You still remember me, right?" I called softly.

A sudden clarity filled Newt's eyes, almost making me step back in surprise.

"I bloody remember you, (y/n). I mean, you are my girlfriend. You just came to see me at the Palace, rubbed it in that you ignored my note. I can't go completely crazy in a few days."

Those words hurt my heart even more than the pitiful sight of my lover. "Then why are you here? Why are you with....them?"

Newt looked at the Cranks, then back at me.

"It comes and goes, love. I can't explain it. Sometimes I can't control myself, barely know what I'm doing. But usually it's just like an itch in my brain, throwing everything off-kilter just enough to bother me-make me angry."

"You seem okay right now."

"Yeah well, the only reason I'm with these wackers from the Palace is because I don't know what else to do. They're fighting, but they're also a group. You find yourself alone, you don't have a bloody chance."

"Newt. Come with me this time, please, right now. We can take you somewhere safer, somewhere better to..."

Newt laughed, and when he did, his head twitched strangely a couple of times.

"Get out of here, (y/n). Go away."

"Just come with me please", I begged. "I can tie you up if it makes you feel better."

Newt's face suddenly hardened into anger and his words shot out in rage.

"Just shut up, you shuck traitor! Didn't you read my bloody note? You can't do one last, lousy thing for me? Gotta be the hero, like always? I hate you! I don't love you, I never did! I always hated you!"

He doesn't mean it, I told myself firmly.

"Newt..."

"It was all your fault! You could have stopped them when the first Creators died! You could've figured out a way. But no! You had to keep it going, try to save the world, be the hero. And you came to the Maze and never stopped. All you care about is yourself! Admit it! Gotta be the one people remember, the one people worship! We should've thrown you down the box hole!"

Newt's face had colored to a deep red, and spit flew from his mouth as he yelled. He started taking lumbering steps forward, his hands balled into fists.

"I'm gonna blast him!" Lawrence shouted from the van.

"No! Don't you dare!" I yelled back. I turned and faced Newt again.

"Newt, stop. Just listen to me. I know you're okay in there. Enough to hear me out."

"I hate you, (y/n)!" He was only a few feet away and I took a step backward, my hurt over Newt's words churning my stomach. " I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you! After all I did for you, after all the freaking klunk I went through in the Maze, you can't do the one and only thing I've ever asked you to do! I can't even look at your ugly shuck face!"

The words stung like nothing I'd ever felt before. It hurt worse than when I got stung by a Greiver.

He doesn't mean it! I screamed over and over in my head.

I took two more steps back.

"Newt, honey, you need to stop or they are going to shoot you. Just stop and listen to me please! Get in the van and let me tie you up. Give me a chance please!"

I couldn't kill him. I couldn't kill my boyfriend, my only love.

Newt screamed and rushed forward. An arc of Launcher lightning shot from the van, narrowly missing me. I froze in place, and Newt tackled me to the hard pavement, knocking the breath out of me. I struggled to fill my lungs with air as my crazed boyfriend climbed on top of me and pinned me down.

"I should rip your eyes out", Newt said, spraying me with spit. "Teach you a lesson in stupidity. Why'd you come here? You expect a bloody hug? A kiss maybe?"

I just lay there, helpless, tears threatening to spill over. I slowly reached for the gun with my free hand.

"You wanna know why I have this limp, (y/n)? Did I ever tell you? No, I don't think I did."

"What happened?" I asked, stalling for time. I slipped my fingers around the weapon.

"I tried to kill myself in the Maze. Climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off. Alby found me and dragged me back to the Glade right before the doors closed for the night. I hated the place, (y/n). I hated every second of it. Just as much as I hate you. And it's all....your....fault!"

Newt suddenly twisted around and grabbed the gun from my hand. He yanked it toward himself, forcing it up until the end of the pistol was pressed up against his forehead.

"Now make amends! Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters! Kill me! I trusted you with the note! No one else! You! Now do it!"

I tried to pull my hand away, but Newt was too strong.

"Make amends! Repent for what you did!" The words tore out of him, his whole body trembling. Then his voice dropped down to an urgent, harsh whisper.

"Kill me you shuck coward. How did I even date such a bloody sissy? Prove you can do the right thing. Put me out of my misery!"

I flinched at the harsh words. Tears brimmed my eyes, about to escape. Newt's words horrified me.

"Newt, maybe we can-"

"Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you! Now do it!"

" I can't, Newt. I love you."

"Well I don't love you, now do it!"

"I can't!" How could Newt expect me to do such a thing? How could I possibly kill my boyfriend? My best friend?

"Kill me or I will kill you! Kill me, do it!"

"Newt..."

"Do it before I become one of them!"

"I..."

"KILL ME!" Then Newt's eyes cleared, as of he'd gained one last trembling gasp of sanity, and his voice softened.

"Please, (y/n), please."

With my heart falling into a black abyss, I pulled the trigger.