A/N- Annnnd new chapter! Hope you enjoy
W/C- 3133

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POV:CLEO

So uhhh. How do I explain where I'm at currently? The groups a bit... off. Let's just say some friendships aren't as good as they used to be.

Tango hasn't sat with us recently. When he does he spends the entire time talking about how much he likes this "Jimmy" guy or something. He still comes back sometimes but nowhere near as much as before. Me and Etho are... awkward at best. Having simple conversations when group situation calls for it. I want to talk to him. I do. But after the incident from the start of this year, I'm not sure I can bring myself to do that yet.

I look towards the entrance of the school, leaning against my locked with my headphones in. I'm waiting for Bdubs to show up so I can walk to first class with him and try to stay mentally stable. I am for now but Dubs always helps with that, whether he knows it or not.

A tap on my shoulder makes me turn around, only to find I'm face to face with Etho. I stand there speechless for a moment. Oh shit is all I can think over and over again in my mind. "I-Uh," I stutter.

"Um hey Cleo. I just wanted to talk about... earlier I guess. I'm so sorry and I get if you're-" Etho gets cut off as a loud voice yells from below us.

"HEY TALL IDIOTS!" I laugh as I look down at Bdubs.

"Hey small, defiant, dwarf," I say casual but laugh once again as a look of absolute pure frustration and amusement that passed Bdubs' face. He use to be so embarrassed and self conscious of his height since like, forever. He was bullied for being the "short guy". The bullying had slowly escalated, eventually reaching the point of beating the poor kid up behind the school and taking his things. This was around the time he began sitting with us. We would question him about the bruises and cuts but he dismissed them, claiming he was helping out at his dads construction site and was just being clumsy. It was obvious no one believed him though.

One day I found him behind the school, curled up against the wall with a few dudes in black running away. Let's just say those guys don't live anywhere near here now. Now days he likes joking about his height. I think it helps him cope. I've checked he's okay with it multiple times over the years and he's fully on board with it as a joke.

"I am not a small, defiant, dwarf!" he laughs as he talks and I smile at him, forgetting Etho's still there. We make awkward eye contact before he looks away.

"Um, I'll go now I guess," I barely hear him as he mumbles. He walks away quickly, meeting Tango at the end of the hall. With a hesitant glance back and an odd look from Tango, they head to who knows where before class starts. With a sigh I turn to Bdubs.

"That was... interesting..." I shake my head with a small chuckle. I put on a smile. "How about we go chill out in the library before class huh?" He nods in reply and we head off towards the library. We walk in silence, making sure we don't bump into psycho kids on our way down the hall. We reach the library and walk inside, heading towards our room. I do a little bow, opening up the entrance while making sure we don't get spotted. I hear Bdubs chuckle at me as he walks in. I slip in after him, closing the door, and turning towards the room. As I do I bump into Bdubs who hadn't moved and was standing in the entrance.

"Dubs? You good?" I don't get a response. Odd. I edge my way past him and he moves to make it easier. Before looking inside I feel him grab my arm.

"Uh- You sure you don't wanna go somewhere else..." His voice trails off as I turn to see Martyn and Ren talking. They're both looking up at us and as I study Martyns face one thing becomes very clear. He had been crying.

"Oh shit," Is all that I can manage to mutter under my breath followed by a quick prayer that they didn't hear it. "Um... This is awkward-" WOW Cleo. That definitely didn't help. Me and Martyn hold eye contact for a solid 10 seconds. In that time multiple things were conveyed.

One, he's upset. Two, I'm reaallllyyy uncomfortable. Three, we shouldn't probably talk this out but fuck no. Just no. Four, just an odd look. Uhh oh yeah! And five. He does NOT forgive me and maybe never will- no definitely never will.

"No shit this is awkward," I barely hear him mutter. We break eye contact and my thoughts are going at a million miles an hour. Before I can offer to leave Martyn stands up, grabbing Rens hand.

"Sorry dude," Ren mutters as he's dragged passed me and out the door. Me and Bdubs stand in silence for a second. In this silence I take deep, shaking breaths, and hope that Dubs doesn't hear it. I don't feel like breaking down- mean I do but I shouldn't. I have no reason to be upset. Nope. Martyn has every right... but also I think he's being a bit of a baby. Okay my fault. Fuck why aren't I good enough. Why do I fuck up everything. Everything I get involved with. Everything I want. Everything I love. I always. Fucking. Ruin.

Okay so maybe the silence was more than a second because when I finally get out of my own head enough to connect back with reality, BDubs is shaking my arm.

"Cleo? CLEOOOOO?"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry-" He cuts me off from my chain of 'sorry's.

"Cleo. You don't need to apologise. You know that right? You don't need to apologise for everything like if you don't I'll hate you," he smiles softly as he says that. But he will a voice in my mind reminds me.

"Sorry-"

"AH! No sorrys here," He makes a tutting noise and I smile slightly. That small smile seemed to indicate to him that he'd done something right and a big BDubs smile spreads across his face.

"I made Mum smiiile!" I roll my eyes and flop down onto a beanbag quickly follow by him basically cannonballing onto the one next to me.

"OW I HIT THE FLOOR!" He whined and I let out a burst of laughter. That's what he gets for jumping on a beanbag I guess.

I giggle. "Guess beanbags don't like you Dubs," He scowls playfully at my laughter.

"Oh shut up Muuum," He pouts. And for a moment, just for a moment, I forget about my problems. I forget about my grades, friend group problems and life in general.

Just for a moment.

---
POV: MARTYN

Do you know what really fucking hurts? Having someone you thought you'd spend your life with. Someone you thought loved you just as much as you loved them. Someone you thought would never leave you or hurt you. Do the exact opposite of everything I just said.

I don't groan as I roll over in bed. Has my alarm gone off like 5 times? Yes. Will I get up?...

"MARTYN LITTLEWOOD GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW YOU LITTLE WASTE OF DAMN SPACE." Yep. Looks like I'm getting up. That tone in my fathers voice basically says 'If yah don't get up, I'll make you get up' and I don't reeaaally feel like that today.

I throw on my usual out fit- jeans and a green t-shirt in what I think is record time. As I ran out of my room I snatched my bag and headband and bolted down the stairs, quickly putting it on as I sped down. As I reached the bottom I skidded to stop, just avoiding running into my father. I stand up straight and look at him defiantly.

"I'm ready. And I've been ready for ages," I say sarcastically. I see how angry he is just from his eyes. He was obviously planning on waking me up. That's his job. Not my mothers. Not mine. Not my alarms. His. I walk passed him quickly, grabbing an apple and my phone before lipping out the door before he can say anything. I sigh with relief as I start on my walk to school. I'm not that far so I walk instead of talking the bus. The bus is loud and crowded and full of kids I don't particularly like. So I walk.

It's a cool morning. Not cold exactly but not hot. Honestly the best temperature it could be at the moment. I sigh. I really don't want to go to school. I've said that everyday since break. Not because I want more time off school but because I don't want to see her. Look at her.

I reach the school, take a deep breath and walk inside. Of course the first thing that happens is a bloody kid runs straight into me, knocking me to the floor. I groan in annoyance. Can't people look where they're damn going?! As I go to stand up a hand appears.

"Hey um I'm so sorry about that," The boy says, awkwardly rubbing his neck while helping me to my feet. He's shorter than me with messy blonde hair, a red sweater and long black pants. HIs face is red from embarrassment and probably from running. He opens his mouth to speak again when he's tackled by a taller kid.

"HA! GOTCHA G!" The shorter kid squirmed in his arms.

"SCARRRR LET ME GO I HAVE TO APOLOGISE!" This Scar guy reluctantly releases the kid and the shorter of the two turned to me.

"Again I'm really sorry. I'm Grian. Grian Escent," He's awkwardly fidgeting with his hands so I smile at him.

"I'm Martyn Littlewood- Yes I know, don't say it," A vague smile dances across his face. This Grian guy seemed nice. Maybe a good group to sit with seeing as I refuse to sit near Cleo. She hurt me once, and still is, who's to say she won't do it again. "Are you and.. Scar?... a couple?" I ask.

Grian's face goes bright red and he looks away. "Um- I-" Scar smiled and flung his arm around Grian which looked kinda funny considering the height difference.

"Not at the moment!" Scar smile cheerfully and Grian blushed more, something I didn't think he could do. Before he could try and respond, Scar started dragging him away. "Goodbyyyyyye Martyn."

I shook my head, smiling better than I have in a long while. As I walk down the hall I spot Cleo. She hasn't seen me yet so I walk away as fast as possible. Just seeing her makes my chest hurt and my heart pound painfully in my chest. Is she thinking about how shit I am? Is she spreading any rumors about me? I deserve all this shit in life. Dad was damn right. No one cares. I'm not enough. My friends don't like me. SHUT UP THOUGHTS!

I don't even notice that I'm in the library until I am. I walk into the room, a bit carelessly I'll be honest. I collapse onto a bean bags, trying to stop the tears. I'm not meant to be weak. A noise outside the entrance makes me freeze. The door opens to reveal Ren who looks at me for a moment before coming over and wrapping me in a hug. We stay like this for a bit before I pull away, abruptly apologising.

"Dude don't worry about it. Wanna talk?" The offer hangs in the air. Do I? Yes.

"Cleo is such a damn bitch! She never cared about me. I tried my hardest and what does she do? HUH? She spends all her damn time with Etho, leaving me to question my life choices. WHAT DID I DO WRONG!" I ramble out, not sure if I'm feeling better or worse afterwards. Ren looks at me in silence for a moment. He clearly doesn't know what happened between us. He probably thought it was just a couples fight. Whatever. As he goes to say something he freezes. Standing at the door is Bdubs and Cleo.

"Oh shit," I hear her murmur under her breath. "Um... This is awkward-"

We lock eyes. She's clearly trying to say something but in my anger and betrayed feelings I can't pick up on it. The only thing I get from her eyes is that she doesn't want to be here. Good! I want her to disappear and never come damn back, that backstabbing bitch.

"No shit this is awkward," I hiss. I grab Rens hand and stand up. I don't want to be here a moment longer with her. If she comes back in while I'm here one more time I will blow up at her. I shove my way past the two and walk out with Ren. We walk in silence though the school until the bell went when we went to our first class.

The class came and went, I barely processed any of it. When break came around I started on my way to the cafeteria when, once again, someone ran into me. This time I didn't fall but I wasn't in a great mood after being yelled at by my Science teacher so I turned around quickly to see who it was.

"Oh my God. I am so sor-... Martyn," She said coldly. The switch in her voice was instant.

"Cleo," I practically spat out. Wow my luck is so damn good isn't it. Of course Cleo bumps into me. "Now if you could do something useful and move out the way that'd be amazing," I emphasise the last word as much as I could.

"No. You were in my way you little prick," She stood her ground. She's so damn stubborn.

"Jeez, can you do anything nice for once in your life," I roll my eyes, cross my arms and stand up tall. "No wonder we broke up huh?"

She huffs. "You're just as fucking controlling as before. Can't keep your mouth shut, oh and remind me how many schools you've been to and why? Think before you speak love." She spat out the last word. "Your dad doesn't love you and never will. You'll end up a drug dealer and alone on the streets. Now run off before you get too pissed and kill someone."

"Excuse you!" I step towards her, only to have someone step in front of me. "Move!"

"No," A familiar voice says. Etho. Oh. That. Ass. He shoves me back so I step forward and shove him. The shoves intensify until I lost it. A punch straight to the nose and Etho was down. 

My heart feels like it's stopped. This is happening. In front of many people. I want to justify what I did. I want to tell everyone that this isn't my fault. But I cant. With that I turn and walk away. Okay maybe I ran because I don't think I've ever gotten to the library that fast. 

I collapse in the corner, taking deep breaths. "Okay. I'm okay now. Nothings wrong. It's all good."

My breathing slows a bit. Not perfect but I'm able to pull my phone shakily from my pocket. I scroll through my phone, trying to find music to calm down. As I do, I get a text... A text from my father. Shit.

Father

<   When you get home you are in so much shit. I got a call 

     from the school saying you beat up a student.)

<   I warned you Martyn Littlewood. I'll give you a final
     warning)

<  Fuck up again and it'll be much worse than today)

---

I sit there for a second, my heart racing again. "Shit. Shit. Shit! He's gonna kill me." I rock back and forth. My face feels hot from tears and I can feel myself shaking. I don't notice someone enter the room.

In my blur of panic I pick up on a few words. "You... okay?"

"Can't. Breath," A hand places itself on mine. "It's okay. Okay. Um. So," She paused. "Try breathing in for 4. Hold for 5. And out for 4. Uh- try and sync your breath up with me. In-" I tried to shakily breathe in at the same time. A- trying not to pass out from what I think is lack of oxygen and B trying to stabilise myself. "Hold..... out..... in..... hold....." Slowly but surely my breathing slows to a better speed and so does my heart and thoughts.

"Feeling a bit better now?" she asks softly. I look at her properly for the first time. She's wearing a black T with fitted jeans. Wrapped around her wrist is a single, gold bracelet with a Crescent moon charm, filled with a shiny, bright ruby.

 I nod, taking a breath to prepare myself to speak to her. "Thanks... I-I'm so sorry about that. That was embarrassing. You-you should've just left. But thanks. Um I didn't get your name?"

"I'm Pearl. Pearl Escent. And you?" Oh shit. This is where she laughs at my name and teases me and stuff. Nothing I'm not used to at this point I'll be honest.

"Martyn. Martyn Littlewood," I murmur quietly. I look into her eyes, and see how hard she's trying not to laugh. I let out a small chuckle. "Yeah I know. I don't care if you laugh."

That broke her. She burst out laughing, trying to tone it down. "IM SO SORRY!" She manages to get out. Just seeing her laugh sparked something in me and I burst out laughing. Maybe 5 minutes passed. Or even 10. I wouldn't know but after a bit we calmed down.

"So do you need to.. talk?" Her question seemed to echo around my mind. Do I? Yes I do I guess. But am I realistically gonna tell her everything. If I tell her the full story she'll think I'm controlling. She'll think I'm undeserving. She'll think many more things I can't care to list.

"No. It's not your problem so you shouldn't have to deal with it..." I try and think of anything to move the conversation along but my mind is drawing a blank.

"Fuck it. We're friends now yah bitch. Your problem is my problem okay? Vent. Spill the beans. Let it all out mate," she says forcefully, quite a big change from her voice before. I can hear an Australian accent in her voice as she speaks. I haven't heard someone speak to me like that in... a while. I sigh.

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Her eyes hold determination. Weird.

"Do you promise to keep a secret?"

"I promise."

Maybe I can have someone who cares

---

A/N- Annnnd chapter 2. I'm aware that whole end bit was just a repeat. Just setting up the next chapter lol.