Jessa's POV

I leaped off the couch at the same time grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. "I- I'm here." I said timidly. I turned to look at him properly. He was a mess. His hair was messy with strands sticking up everywhere as if someone had pulled them.

His clothes were disheveled and his buttons undone showing his toned skin.  Even then Alec still managed to look handsome

He stumbled towards me, tripping a few times. "Jessa, why me? All I did was to love you. Was that wrong?" He asked staring at me with his bloodshot eyes, his speech slurred a little. His breath reaked of alcohol.

He was drunk. Old Alec never used to drink. That scared me a little...it reminded me of Drey when he got drunk...it was never a good thing. "I- I - d- don't understand. W- What do you mean?" I stuttered as the lie slipped out of my mouth.

He came closer, struggling to hold his balance. I knew exactly what he was talking about. But I couldn't tell him...I couldn't tell anyone. I was too ashamed of what I'd done. In the end it had been for nothing.

In my desperation to save my sister I made some terrible choices. It was all for nothing. She died anyways. And it was because I'd been too late.

"I gave you my heart! I loved you! I adored you! I did everything to make you happy! So why did you leave me? Why'd you choose to break me? Was I not enough!!?" He screamed into my face, his voice breaking as tears rolled down his face.

I stayed quiet. I had only one answer for him and I knew he wouldn't like it.
"Answer the fucking question Jessa!!! Tell me why the fuck you left!" He yelled at me, anger coming forward, briefly overcoming the hurt.

I kept my eyes down, I was too ashamed to even look at him. To look at the consequences of what I'd done. Alec, he was a good guy, a gentleman. I broke him, ruined him.

"I - I can't tell you " I said resignedly, avoiding his gaze as tears filled my eyes to see the man I loved reduced to this. Living with Drey had made me submissive, quiet, timid. Because whenever I talked back, I got hit.

In time I got used to it, never expressing myself just accepting whatever was done to me.

He came closer and grabbed my shoulders tightly, forcing me to look at him. I stared into his deep blue eyes, the light in them had dimmed.

In them I saw fear and pain. I broke him. I made all his demons, his worst fear, the fear of being abandoned come true. Alec's family abandoned him at a young age. When we were together I told him I'd never leave. I broke that promise...

"You don't think I deserve an explanation? I'm not asking for one, I'm demanding it! It's the least you could do! Tell me why!

Was I not enough? Did you not feel for me as I felt for you? Answer me Jessa! Fucking answer me!" He yelled in my face, spit flying from his mouth to land on my cheeks as he shook me back and forth. My heart was beating wildly in my chest.

He wasn't the same Alec I knew. I was so scared. He could do anything to me.
"Alec! P- please stop it! You're hurting me! Please!. I'm sorry!" I yelled at him as his fingernails dug into my shoulders. He pushed me away and turned around while I stumbled and tried to avoid falling down.

My shoulders would definitely be bruised. The sound of glass shattering caught my attention. I got up, wincing in pain. My head was pounding and I felt so dizzy. I followed the noise to the bar...yes, he had an indoor bar.

I stopped at the gory scene before me. He was grabbing glasses and wine bottles, throwing them anywhere just so they'd smash. He looked angry, ruthless...before me Alec was fuming with anger. For the first time ever, I was scared of him.

He was a man consumed by pure anger and his only outlet was violence...it had been violence and would always be violence. It was all he had ever known.

He hadn't changed. In the past, whenever he got angry he'd destroy everything in sight. It was never this bad though. It was his way of letting it out.

It was destructive. I contemplated stopping him but I was too terrified to move. He was drunk and could do anything to me.

So I stood there and watched him. Glass shards got embedded in his hands but he didn't seem to care. Maybe I could call one of the guards. I was about to leave when he started talking.

"You know that day....I'd bought a ring. Took me a while but I'd saved up enough to buy it for you. I wanted to show you that no matter what happened, you were my constant...that you were it for me." He said as he opened a bottle of whiskey.

He took a huge gulp and hissed at the burning sensation. Wiping his tears he looked at me, his smoldering blue eyes cornering me. "When I got to your house, your sister had died and Cece told me you'd ran away.

I didn't believe her because how could my Jessa leave me? She'd come to me...because..she loved me.. I figured you'd probably gone to my house, seeking comfort from me." He said bitterly. Then he laughed. There was nothing funny. This was hysteria. He was losing it.

"But damn I was wrong. So fucking wrong. For months Cece and I searched for you. Aaliyah went to neighboring towns. It didn't make sense that you would just up and leave.

We thought something bad had happened. Damnit! I was so stupid!!" His voice increasing at the end as he slammed his injured fist into the countertop. "It took a while but we realized that you'd actually left. That you'd left us all...left me like what we had was nothing."

He took another swig and moved around the countertop towards me. I couldn't even move. I was so entranced.

"I spent nine years wallowing in misery and grief as the woman I'd wanted to spend my every waking moment with tossed me aside like I was nothing. Nine fucking years of pain and heartbreak, from drinking to drugs..name it all.

I fucked up my life. I had to go to fucking rehab!!! For fuck's sake I tried suicide. Because that was how much I loved you.... to the point where living without you didn't make sense.

I was a fool in love. But that wasn't my worst mistake. My worst mistake was falling for you! You are a cold heartless person. They call me a beast but you? You're worse than a monster!" He snarled at me as he moved forward.

My heart was pounding sickeningly fast in my chest. My lungs started squeezing in on me as I tried hard to breathe. Anxiety set in when he cornered me into a wall. Every word he said..it hurt more than any beating Drey had ever given me.

"You broke me! Reduced me to nothing! You abandoned your family! You lost your twin but that day your mother lost her whole family!! I went insane. I went mad.

And I stand here years later demanding an explanation and you can't give me one?? You can't? I'm gonna ask you for the last time Jessa..why?"his voice cracked at the end.

I'd suffered for nine years. And everyday I'd ask myself what I'd done that was so bad for me to deserve all the suffering. Well I got my answer today.

This was it! My big sin! Guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. I whimpered as my heart squeezed in my chest. I cried listening to every word he spoke.

I knew I'd hurt him but I didn't realize the extent until now. He was right...I was worse than a monster. I was probably the human embodiment of the devil. I was crying but he didn't care. He stood waiting for an answer, anger and pain brimming in those intense eyes.

I wanted to tell him everything. To break down and tell everyone what I'd done. But I couldn't. Fear and shame gripped me. "I- i- I can't tell you!" I yelled breaking into sobs.

He growled in anger and smashed the bottle in his hand against the wall. I jumped and screamed in fright. I was scared he was going to hurt me. I think that was when I realized, he really wasn't the Alec I knew. He'd changed.

I couldn't recognize the man in front of me. His hand wrapped around my neck as he squeezed, "A- Alex, i- I can't breathe." I begged as I wrapped my hands around his trying to remove his hand. He didn't budge.

Was he going to kill me? I stared into his eyes, the anger and hatred in them reflected perfectly well. "I swear I will make your life a living hell. You're going to wish you'd never crossed paths with me." He snarled threateningly before releasing me.

I pathetically collapsed to the floor on my knees, yelling in pain as I landed on broken glass pieces. Too scared to move I stayed there, unable to help myself as I watched the cuts start to bleed.

He walked away from me as I cried whispering I'm sorry over and over again, chanting it like it was a mantra.
"I want all this cleaned up before I wake up tomorrow." He yelled before climbing the stairs and disappearing.

Once he had left, my heart slowed a bit. It was like a dull thrumming. I was scared. He wasn't the same man I knew.  That Alec no matter how mad he was would have never hurt me. I hurt him. All the pain I put him through had changed him into a ruthless man.

It was all my fault. I'd ruined him.  As always I ruined everything I touched and Alec was no exception. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I wish I'd never existed. I wish my twin had lived and I'd died. Black spots dotted my vision as I lost consciousness.

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Okay that was some intense shit!

But I hope it made y'all realize that I meant business. This book isn't some cliché. I'm sure y'all thought Alec would be some gentleman slight anger issues?😂😂😂

Well that was high school Alec! Shit just got real!!! Anyways hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to vote, comment and share.

😌You can dm on Instagram @_daissy.b I'm more active there than here.

-Daisy