"Hey, Mol! Not listening to your father on Father's Day is against the—"

"I was listening." Molly stood straighter. "I'll go get it now."

Her dad scoffed. "Get what?"

"Another beer?" she suggested.

"Nice try. Still got the first one." Her dad peered at her. "You okay today?"

Did everyone have to ask her that? Then again, how could she blame them. She was a complete and total space cadet. Or maybe just boy crazy....

**********************

Fifth Grade...

**********************

Her mom had been right about the girls going boy crazy. By fifth grade, every single one of them was incurable. If there was paper being passed around, it was never tic-tac-toe or hangman anymore. Entire forests were sacrificed to either M.A.S.H. or Paper Fortune Teller and every answer was a boy. It was fine when it was boys from movies or TV, but once they started it with real boys, it just seemed sick.

The boys definitely thought so, especially when some of the girls had the nerve to just go up and tell them who they were marrying.

"I don't know where I'm living when I grow up," Jake said one day as they walked home from school. "But it's not gonna be in a shack with Erica D'Annunzio and twelve kids."

"Chrissie H. tried to make me write a boy's name in today," Molly said. "So I put Spongebob."

Jake had laughed. "See, that's why you don't suck, Mol. You don't do those stupid games."

"I know. It's so lame. I never play it with them," Molly said carefully. It was technically true. But she'd actually tried both games -- just not with the girls. No. That kind of thing was done alone, in total secrecy, like to the point of being under her covers with a flashlight. She wasn't jerky enough to put real boys' names in... except for Jake. But that was only a test. So it wouldn't end with him.

So far, she hadn't ended up with him once. Even in M.A.S.H., she ended up marrying Frankenstein and having thirty-six kids. At least they lived in a mansion. But there was a moment, during Paper Fortune Teller, where she spelled out B-L-U-E (the color of his eyes) and held her breath, thinking it was a sign that she'd definitely unfold that flap and it would say "Jake."

It didn't. It said Dracula.

She told herself that was a good thing. It meant she obviously didn't have a crush. But she still worried that the only reason she didn't go boy-crazy with the rest of them was because she was already insane over one stupid boy and, if she was, he could never, ever, ever know.

*****************

Yes, Molly was a pretty good liar. Especially to herself. "Okay, fine. I wasn't listening," she told her dad now. "But I'm fine." She lied pretty well to her parents, too. "It's just so hot." That part was true.

"Well, go cool off. But give me some more slack first." Dad pointed at the hose, then her car. "I don't know what the hell you did to this thing, but that mud's all caked on." He brightened up. "Hey! Maybe I need the pressure washer."

Yet another gadget her dad bought himself before she or her mom could think of it. "What are you doing working on Father's Day, anyway? I'm pretty sure that's against the law. It's my car. I'll pressure wash it."

"You don't know the right settings. You weren't listening when I showed Jake and—"

"What about Jake?" Molly started. "I don't know where he is! Don't call him. He's busy... I think."

Her father stared at her strangely. "Did you guys get in a fight or something?" He glanced heavenward. "Not right before barbecue season!"

If there was one thing her dad liked cooking, besides giant breakfasts, it was anything smoked or barbecued. And because Molly did not get as excited about handling raw meat, Jake was his helper of choice.

"Look, your little helper and I are totally fine. We are not in a fight," Molly sighed. At least she wasn't. But now she was starting to think Jake was.

It had been twenty-nine hours now.

"I'm sure I can do it just fine with this," Molly said, grabbing the hose. "It's my mess. I'll clean it up. Go watch some... sports or something."

"But there's nothing—"

"Find some and stop breaking the law," she said, shooing him off. "You should know better."

Her dad pointed at her as he backed away. "You're bossy. You get that from your mom."

"She says the same thing... about you," Molly called after him, turning the hose on her car, glad she finally had something mindless to do. And without anyone else to ask her if she was okay or... or tell her she was bossy. Why did everyone think she was bossy? Jake called her bossy, too – all the time!

Now that she thought of it, he had no right to be in a fight with her. It should be the other way around, damn it!

******************

Damn Molly! 

She was to blame for all of it! It's like he didn't even need to be with anyone else, not enough to really try. Because there she was – lunches and movie nights and a head on his shoulder. Jake wasn't like his dad. He'd never been the kind of guy to constantly look for more. Maybe he was just a simpler guy, or even a better man, but he wasn't about to go hunting for something better when he had everything he needed.

Hell, he could whine all he wanted about his crappy college experience so far, but did he really care? He skipped most parties because, with Molly there, did he even need anyone else?

And, if that was true, then why the hell hadn't this all happened at least four years ago? Was he too stupid then? If so, who was to say he was any smarter now? What if this ruined everything? Outside of his dad, their families were so close. What would this do to summer barbecues, or to Deb's giant Christmas Eve party that always ended with the five of them after the throngs left, even to little things like Mom running over to Deb's for baking powder and staying for three hours?

There were more friendships than one to be destroyed here.

Then again, what if it worked?

***********************

Was Jake mad? Now that Molly thought about it, he'd seemed mad yesterday.

Well, he didn't have the right to be!

She'd been the one who'd been thinking about their first kiss for years only for it to happen in a damned mud puddle!

Molly kept blasting her hubcaps, still caked in mud. The hose hadn't been enough to wash it away, so she'd taken a break to clean her dad's car in an act of perfect daughterhood... then she got out the pressure washer!

Her dad was right about this thing. It was a lot of fun watching the mud just detach and float away. Too bad every muddy rivulet made her think of Jake.

As annoyed and angry - and wet and filthy - as she'd felt after that kiss, there'd been a tiny thrill to it... up until that demonic crystal popped up and Jake started talking about Juliet and how he would never, ever kiss Molly and basically ruined everything.

Even before that, it hadn't been the ideal scenario, pretty far from it. She'd sometimes thought about it, of Jake just grabbing her all sudden-like. Of all the settings she could have picked for their first kiss, a puddle of mud would have been the last, but there it was and it couldn't be taken back. And the second was in a public restroom. Not exactly swoon material.

Still, could she really be mad at Jake for that? Not like he knew she'd been waiting for a kiss. She had made it her mission for years, for the sake of their friendship, to not make her stupid feelings his problem. But now they were making a damned mess and she could blame Jake and his weird crystal fixation all she wanted, but he hadn't been acting on his own. No. He had a very willing participant in this madness -- and longer than he knew. It had all come to a head senior year.

It wasn't like Molly hadn't loved Jake before that. He was her best friend, after all. And she liked to tell herself she loved him in exactly that way with no extras. But something shifted when other girls started paying attention to him. It wasn't like she had a thing for him, she'd told herself then. At the time, she'd still refused to call it that or anything close to that.

She only hated every single other girl who asked her about him with every last fiber of her being.

That's all.

Jake never paid much attention to girls, anyway, except for the ever-unattainable Juliet. And Molly only looked at Jake's crush on her with mild amusement because... He could just get in line.

No, she'd never worried about Juliet, especially not after she graduated. Hell, she didn't worry about the rest of them until he suddenly started getting all athletic, losing the baby fat, and according to a text from Rachel Boone at the time, getting: ultraepicblazinghot!

"So? Did Jake say anything about me?" Rachel asked her in homeroom basically every day.

Molly usually had the same answer. "No."

"Why? What did you tell him about me?"

"Nothing. Because we're not in middle school."

"Molly! Why are you like this?" Rachel whined. "Aren't we friends? Molly!"

They weren't. She was pretty damned sure Rachel was only cozying up to her and acting like they were besties to get in with Jake. "Look, if you have something to say to Jake, you can tell him yourself."

"Is this like a gatekeeper thing?"

"Maybe it is." Molly crossed her arms.

"I swear. I'm worthy."

"Why? What do you even know about Jake?" Molly demanded. "What do you even like about him?"

Rachel shrugged. "How he looks when he takes his shirt off at practice?"

Damn it! Molly couldn't even judge because she really, really liked that, too. But there was more to Jake than that. Like how he was always nice. Even when people plowed into him, he was the one to say "sorry."

And he never gave her a bottle of water without loosening the cap first.

And he loved his mom so much that, whenever she bought him something, even if he hated it, he wore it in public at least three times so he could tell himself he'd given it a shot.

And he knew how to jump batteries and change tires almost only because Molly needed it... a lot.

No. She didn't want to tell Rachel all that. It would probably only make her crazier about him. And Molly didn't want that.

But when Prom was getting closer, and Rachel's demands intensified, she started to wonder what right she had to hold Rachel off? Sure, she thought it was stupid that Rachel couldn't just talk to him, but was it that much trouble for her to just tell Jake Rachel liked him?

Yes, it was. Rachel was all wrong for Jake.

But what right did she have to say who was right for Jake? So what if she had vague, undefined feelings for him? It wasn't like she was doing anything about them!

Maybe that was what started it, that stupid argument that ended up leading to The Summer That Never Was. It was petty and selfish, but he was just all over her that spring. 

*******************

Senior Year...

*******************

Was there a nice way to say stop touching me unless you mean it?

If there was, Molly didn't find it, tossing out words like clingy and needy until Jake seemed as irritated as she was. Well... good! Better than suffering alone.

But by the time Jake finished with his laundry list of complaints against her, she didn't have much of a defense.

"Well, that's just—" Molly couldn't think of a way to finish that.

What right did she have to complain? What right did she have to ho and hum about how she guessed she would have to walk home by herself to drag him away from parties? What right did she have to gate-keep his love life and declare Rachel all wrong for him? How was she any better? They were making each other miserable! "Okay. You may have a point," she finally admitted.

"I do?" Jake sounded shocked to hear it.

"Though I will say me pulling you away from parties is for your own good," she said, and she stood by that. She took a seat next to him on his bed. "We're both kind of needy lately."

"One of us is kind of moody, too," she heard him say under his breath.

And damn it, he was right. She was the worst part of this whole miserable situation. She was the one with all the stupid feelings that she'd obviously been taking out on him. "Fine. You got me! I really don't want to be this way. I'm such a--"

"No, I'm not saying you're always this way! I'm only... this is just... It's college stress. I'm sure I'm moody, too." Jake rushed to defend her against herself. Because of course he did.

She did not deserve him.

"Jake, you're never moody, not compared to me."

"Maybe I am and you don't see it." Jake started talking about their letters, about how he was worried this was their last summer and, though that was at the top of her worry list, she'd never thought he was worried, too. It was like a pipe dream, the both of them not only getting into, but getting scholarships for the same college. She almost wished she'd never pushed for it because now... not getting it would feel like some kind of tragedy.

Still, she thought his chances were better than hers – both for Ithaca and any college. She didn't even have a safety school. His coach had made him apply to five others, but he didn't seem to care about those.

"Five crappy jock schools," Jake muttered. "Best case, I graduate with like five concussions and maybe new skills at beer pong. My grades aren't good enough to—"

She slapped his arm. She had to. "Would you stop it? Your grades are fine!"

"Not compared to yours." He caught her hand. "And stop hitting me."

"Well, I don't spend half my days running headlong into giant, refrigerator-sized guys, so I have more study time." Really, Jake should just let her hit him when he said ridiculous things. "And stop acting like my hits hurt." She tried again, but he had a pretty tight grip on her wrist.

"They do. I know what I'm getting into at practice, but you're like this little toy dog who looks all harmless... then you fly at me all suddenly with your tiny paws!"

He just had to go and call her tiny! She did manage to get in another slap... to his chest, which probably hurt her more than it hurt him. But he got her other hand, then and their mutual moping session turned into kind of a wrestling match – which was a lot more fun, also exactly the kind of behavior she needed to put a stop to... any minute now.

"Settle down. Heel. Good girl."

"Let me up!" Molly shrieked, really struggling to hold onto her anger.

"Why? So you can hit me?"

"You deserve it for the tiny paws shit. And I could hurt you worse, you know," she said with a glance down. She wouldn't. But he didn't know that for sure.

He seemed to stiffen slightly, as if he definitely thought she would. Unfortunately – or not, as the case may be – that just extended this little wrestling session as he tried to trap her legs, then he kept insisting she promise not only not to hit him now, but never again. A ridiculous demand! They argued the point for a moment before she decided at least pretending to promise was her only shot at freedom.

She tried to buck him off her. "Oh, my God, Jake. I promise! Just let me—" All possible words died. She stared past Jake and up at the faded glow-stars they almost killed themselves peppering his ceiling with when they were ten. It reminded her that they definitely weren't ten anymore. This, for instance, wouldn't have been an issue then.

Jake was hard. As in erect. On top of her. And she had no idea how to deal with that. Maybe she could say something, but nothing was coming to mind. Jake didn't seem to have anything, either.

"Uh... That was just... I mean, it wasn't... I didn't—"

"No, it's hard." Molly wondered if a person could cringe themselves into oblivion. "I mean fine. It's fine. It's not like I... I mean, I'm sure it's not because of..." Because of me, because of me, he's on top of me! "I'm sure that just... happens."

"Yeah. Like out of nowhere."

"Yes. Exactly." She was glad he confirmed it, glad and not at all disappointed. She resisted looking down... almost. "It's totally okay." This would be a perfect time for a laugh. Then maybe they could both laugh and go back to... fighting? No, she didn't want that. She wasn't sure what she wanted right now. "I definitely didn't think it was because of... me or anything. I just was..." Jesus, stop talking about it! And stop trying to look!

Her eyes valiantly resisted looking all the way down, only to get stuck on his lips, another part she shouldn't be looking at. She could feel herself breaking out in gooseflesh and sweat all over. Even her lips felt sweaty. She licked them to be sure and she noticed that Jake's eyes followed – she also noticed he hadn't made a move to get off her.

There had been moments before, moments when Jake looked at Molly and her hazy feelings for him suddenly seemed so clear to her, moments when she could swear he felt something, too. But they were nothing to this moment. Nothing to the physical proof that was hovering over her and so close to touching her again. And she felt like she'd kick herself later if she let this moment slip away.

She met his eyes now, trying to figure out what to say to make this moment last a little longer. "Or maybe this kind of thing happens when people spend as much time together as we do."

"Yeah. Maybe," Jake said, slack-jawed and monotone. But at least he wasn't laughing at her.

Molly shifted under him almost unconsciously, her body begging his to lower to her, press into her. "Maybe we should do something about it." She knew what she wanted to do about it. If her wrists weren't still pinned to the bed, she'd lift her head and...

"Been meaning to say something. I think we should see other people," Jake said on a slight huff of laughter.

... and make a joke. Yes, that's what she should have done. She told herself she was glad he did it first. "I think you should let me up."

"Oh, God. Yeah. Sorry."

She dashed for the door as soon as she could.

TBC