This chapter is dedicated to the best goldfish in all the seas for the lovely concept art she painted for this chapter. See their art above!

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Chapter 11 – Not the best notes (Jin)

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"Hello- a student? Can I help you?"

As soon as the unfamiliar lady opened the front door, all the thoughts I had about how this wasn't such a good idea and that I should leave vanished. That could've worked if only I had enough courage to run as fast as I could as soon as I knocked on the door. They would've assumed someone pranked them, then thought nothing of it.

But as I recall the notification on FB earlier, I suppose this shouldn't be so bad. Shane had been incredibly nice and considerate of me; I could at least greet her properly on her birthday.

I looked down at the plastic bag I had, then back at the bobbed-haired lady that would probably be her aunt.

I bowed my head lightly, "Good evening. I'm, um, a friend of Shane?" That came off like a question. Get a grip, man.

"Oh?" She seemed surprised. Maybe Shane had never mentioned me to any of them.

Of course, she wouldn't. Why would she, right?

I cleared my throat, "I, err, saw on social media that it was her birthday today." As I glanced at her, my eyes darted away quickly at her widened eyes. "And I heard she's been sick these past couple of days, so I thought I'd, well, um...."

Why was I even having a hard time finding the right words? I had practiced what to say at Chimmy's with my lovesick friends plenty of times already.

I raised my arm lightly, trying to get her attention on the plastic bag filled with yogurt drink take-outs.

"Ah, that's so sweet! Wait a moment," She turned to the side and yelled Shane's name, "Honey, can you call Shane?"

"Hm?" A man I assumed was her uncle peeked from the side. "Are you a friend of Shane?"

"Y-yes."

"That kid..." His voice faded as he went away and spoke to someone from somewhere inside.

"What's your name?" Her aunt asked.

"Jin."

Before she said more, her gaze drifted elsewhere, and as the distant, hurried steps on planked staircases reached my senses, my hold on the plastic bag tightened, and I looked away.

Shane's aunt glared at the loudened steps. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I-I didn't know-"

When her voice trailed off, something about where it came from caught my full attention, I found myself looking back up at the people visible by their doorframe and Shane's hair tied up in a messy ponytail with a worn-out scrunchie jiggling with every head movement she made. Her eyes glistened with the light by the entrance mistaking her for its muse, and her cheeks were red for some reason. When she pouted and turned her head to the side after a little scolding, I had to cover my mouth.

She was probably still recovering. I should leave these and go.

Her slippers came into my view. Then our eyes met.

I squinted and raised a brow, waiting for her to follow it up with her usual bright smile and an assumption on why I ended up at her doorstep. But none of those came, and she only stared.

I rolled my eyes and pressed the plastic bag between us.

"...Yogurt drinks?"

Looking away, my other hand's grip inside my pocket tightened. "Yes. I got five in various flavors since I didn't know what your family liked." My voice softened as I peeked at her surprised face. "Consider it thanks for helping me out in PL. Take it."

She carefully took the bag from me, pursed her lips, and smiled.

The smile that made this little trip and the loss of half of my savings worth it.

"Thanks, Jin!"

"Have you had dinner yet?" Her aunt said before she could say more. "We still have plenty left from earlier."

"No, I haven't." I gestured a no, the relentless growing heat in my face begging me to take my leave as soon as possible. "But I-"

"No buts!" Shane shouted, her expression returning to how I always saw it. Her smile reached her eyes. "Consider it a fair trade for these and the trip to our barangay. Okay?"

Her aunt rushed back in and yelled for Shane's cousins to prepare the table for one person, deepening a somewhat uncomfortable sense inside me.

"Jin?"

We stared at each other for a few seconds, and as I was reminded of what day today was, I sighed in defeat.

"I'll just tell my parents." I took my phone out and sent a text, casting her a squint afterward. "Just because I'm hungry."

She chuckled and grabbed one of my arms, pulling me inside before closing the door behind us. While I let her pull me further into their house, my eyes didn't miss the picture frames near the couches we passed through. I didn't get a better view, but I'm sure Shane has at least one or two portraits, while the rest were her younger cousins or family pictures with the five of them.

"I'll eat, too!" A tiny voice got my gaze gearing upfront. "So that he won't eat alone!"

"Hey, they don't have to..." I whispered to Shane, who rolled her eyes at me as she let go of my arm.

"Look, Addie!" She called, showing her the yogurt drinks in her hands. "Do you think this will go well with your favorite drumsticks?"

Addie, her younger cousin, jumped excitedly and darted towards Shane with a fried chicken leg in one of her hands.

"Yes, yes! Yes, please!"

Shane bent and opened up the bag. "Which one do you want? How about you, Andrea?"

With a sigh at the sight, I settled down on the seat where Shane's aunt had placed a clean plate with many other dishes around it.

I slapped my palms together softly and mumbled a silent prayer before looking up at her aunt and uncle.

"Thank you." I bowed my head, gaze barely keeping up with their equally bright expressions.

It was bad enough for my mentality that I had a presumptuous and bubbly tutor who had the brightest smile I'd ever seen despite the things that lay behind them I was sure she didn't want anyone to know. Now, I got myself into a place filled with cheerful faces and an equally warming atmosphere.

It's not like it's that new to me with my big family, but that tapping feeling of guilt and embarrassment still forced their way into my throat.

"Don't be shy!" Her aunt encouraged. She must've noticed.

"Thank you for the drinks, Jin." Shane's uncle said behind me, sipping afterward on his drink.

"Andrew, Addie, what do you say to Kuya Jin?" Shane cooed her cousins, who both perked up and looked at me.

Jeez, did she really have to say that?

"Thank you, Kuya Jin!"

"It's... nothing." I shoved one bite of the food into my mouth to suppress a smile. "I'm glad you guys like them."

Shane hummed and sat beside me. "Late introduction, I know. But he's Jin, a classmate of mine in Philippine Literature. We recently started hanging out because...." She paused and glanced at me.

"I don't mind," I answered after chewing.

"I tutor him!" She proudly declared, eyes twinkling. "He's pretty smart on his own, but he's struggling on this subject for some reason."

I glared. "As I've said, literature and history are not the same thing."

"Still part of history, though!"

"You really get on nerves." My voice was low, and I matched her confident face with squinted eyes. "Don't be like Alex, or you're getting it from me."

"Oh, alright, alright. I'll be nice this time."

"This time?" I purposely stressed my words to get my sarcasm across.

When she and her aunt shared a chuckle, I froze. Should I be this comfortable in the presence of my tutor's family? Her cousins only stared while they ate some drumsticks and sipped on their drinks, and her uncle only focused on his yogurt on the side with a smile.

Her aunt and uncle joked around with her, occasionally asking me about college, the program I take, and how far I lived away, while Shane listened and sometimes exchanged words with her cousins. Until it came to the point when I was about to finish eating.

"Did you know," Shane gave me a malicious side-eye and scooted towards her cousins and covered her mouth, but her voice was as loud as possible. "Apparently, he likes me!"

What the hell?

"Ah, water!" Shane's aunt handed a glass over to me. "Here you go. Are you alright?"

I placed the glass down and bowed slightly at her with a small smile to assure her I was fine. Once she replied with a relieved sigh, I glared at Shane, who jumped playfully with the same annoying expression.

"Is that true?" Her youngest cousin, Addie, voiced out. Her older sister, Andrea's gaze jumped from Shane to me, expecting some sort of confirmation, I'm sure.

"No," I answered before Shane could. "She's lying."

"Hey! But you went here tonight and paid me a visit!"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who went today." I met her aunt's eyes briefly, who nodded amidst her chuckle. "You can't pin this one instance on me."

"You checked up on me on FB, too!"

"Again, was I the only one who did?" I wiped my mouth with a napkin upon finishing up. I raised a brow at her, hiding my side smile with the napkin. "Don't be presumptuous."

She gasped and pointed at me. "Guys, look! He's calling me presumptuous! Am I? I'm not, right?"

When they burst into laughter, I couldn't resist joining them as if we were all people who suffered the same treatment from her. I didn't think she'd be this way with her family. I thought she was only this way with friends for the longest time.

With the brief recollection of when she talked about her mom last week, a sense of relief rained down on me that she had a good relationship with other family members. And that she could still smile, laugh, and joke around like this.

But when I paused to watch her attempt to redeem herself with her cousins that she wasn't lying, a pinch of uncertainty knocked on my mind.

Today was her birthday, but her mom still didn't show up. Maybe she did, and I just didn't know. But something tells me she didn't.

"You believe me, right? I swear that guy does have a thing for me!"

This girl just never gives up, I swear.

"Hey," I called and crossed my arms. "Stop lying."

"I'm not!" She pouted. "You do like me, right?"

"No."

"You don't like Ate Shane?" Addie asked as she patted a whining Shane's head. "There, there."

I rolled my eyes. "It's not like that."

Shane perked up immediately. Just as I thought.

"For the record, I don't dislike her. Well, maybe a little. Sometimes."

"Hey! You can't turn this around, Jin! You technically already admitted you like me! See, Addie, he really does!"

"Don't listen to her."

Shane stood up and gripped my shoulders, shaking me lightly.

"Shh! Don't say that to Addie! You're going to corrupt her view of me!" She hissed.

"It's your fault." I held her wrists. "And stop that. I just ate."

"Shane." As her aunt spoke, she stopped, and we looked at her. Her aunt glanced at me. "Thank you for the drinks, Jin. And for going out of your way. I'm glad Shane's made a new friend."

Shane smiled proudly, earning an eye-roll and head shake from me that only got them sharing another series of chuckles.

I'm surprised they weren't like Rianne's parents. Alex had a really hard time convincing them of their relationship in the beginning as they were unexpectedly strict with Rianne having a boyfriend. Heck, they almost thought there was some sort of love triangle between the three of us because of my closeness with Rianne.

In a way, I'm glad Shane's aunt and uncle weren't like that and that they weren't the type who'd push their daughter into relationships, either.

Wait, but what does that have anything to do with me? No, rather, I'm just glad they don't take her seriously for what she's saying about me.

Then again, I did hear she had a male childhood best friend. That must be part of why they don't think anything of this.

I took Shane's hands off my shoulders and stood to bow. "Thank you for this, too, ma'am."

Though, that makes me curious about who this guy, Yuri, is and what he's like. They're probably close enough for Shane's guardian not to mind her closeness with guys, right?

That kind of annoys me.

"TIta is fine."

"Err, tita, then." I looked away, meeting Shane's uncle's gentle gaze on us. "To you, too, um, sir."

"Tito."

With my head lowered, I closed my eyes and pursed my lips. "O-okay. Thank you, um, Tito and Tita."

She waved a hand and smiled, "No worries."

"Shane, see him outside. Make sure he gets on a tricycle first before you come back in." Her uncle, Tito, said before smiling at me. "Take care on your way home, Jin."

(Tricycle is a motorized vehicle consisting of a motorcycle and a cab attached to its right side. It is one of the most common means of public transportation in the Philippines.)

I bowed again and muttered a thank you as Shane pulled me outside by their porch. Her cousins followed and waved at me, so I waved back until the door closed.

"Your friends went earlier today, right?"

"Mhm!" She walked ahead of me to the small gate, then stopped and counted her fingers. "Rona, Julie, George—the one with me in the volleyball girls' team—and Yuri!"

I darted my eyes away from her. "Yuri, huh?"

"You know him?"

"No, I just heard of his name somewhere before." When some students talked about him being the only guy, Shane had been openly closed with.

It didn't stay with me then, but it was starting to dig into my curiosity now.

"He's our classmate!"

He is?

"I don't see you hang out with him at all, though."

"I do! Just not in PL class." She reached the gates and turned around with a fond smile. "We sit together in all our other classes other than PL because he prefers sitting at the front with some guy friends, and I prefer in the middle row."

"Huh."

"We switch where we sit in every other subject, though! But he has friends in PL class who aren't his classmates in other subjects," She shrugged. "So, he takes that opportunity. We take the same course, anyway, so separating in one subject is not that big a deal."

"...I didn't know that," I whispered, unsure what I meant by that myself.

"He's like one of the most active ones in class, though! You really don't know Yuri? Yuri Panganiban? Or anyone?"

"I do remember some names I asked for help before you." I shrugged. "But I forgot who they were, and I'm pretty sure I didn't ask a Yuri Panganiban."

Actually, I do recall. He's one of the people I skipped asking because I was not too fond of the air around him. As far as I recall, something about how he behaves reminds me of princes in shows.

"You really don't know anyone much or at all in PL class, don't you?"

I looked away. "Well, it's not like I need to."

"What if we get group assignments and projects, then?"

"Let's hope we don't get any of that."

"Don't worry!" Shane raised her fists in front of her as if cheering. "I'll help you out if it ever happens!"

"Whatever."

She hummed disapprovingly as she slid the never-really-closed gate open.

"We haven't fixed this yet, but it worked for you, no?" She pointed at the broken lock of the small, metal gates.

I didn't answer. But as she swung the gate wide open with a slight, rustic creak, I brought my backpack to my front and opened it.

She turned around. "I'll see you tom-"

"Shane."

"Hm?"

"This... isn't much." I took out my notebook in PL and handed it over to her. "But I know you don't like it when you have incomplete notes, so...."

"Your notes? These past few days?" She flipped the pages open and chuckled.

"Uh-huh." I turned my head away and scratched my nape. "They're not the best notes since my writing is a bit messy, as you can see. But I tried to jot down everything."

"I can read them just fine, though!"

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry this was all I can give you." I slid my bag behind me and mustered the strength to look at her barely lit face from the evening's lack of light as I slipped my hands deep into my pockets and smiled. "Happy birthday, Shane."

She closed the notebook and held it to her chest as she forced a smile, her voice soft and almost inaudible. "Thank you, Jin. I'll give it back as soon as I copy everything."

I was expecting her to say something weird about it, but the longer I looked, something about her face felt off. I walked ahead of her and turned around, the hanging light post from the power cord above showing her forced smile and trembling gaze.

This has got to have something to do with her mom.

I avoided mentioning or asking her or anyone about her parents—her mom. Even now, it didn't feel right to say a thing about it. But this look alone confirmed my suspicions.

Her mom didn't show up today.

I leaned my head close, prompting her to raise a brow. "You're frowning."

Shane's eyes widened, and unexpectedly, she looked down and whimpered lightly.

"Not saying you look bad when you do," I quickly followed, my voice softening. "But you look better when you're smiling."

Unsure what that expression and reply from her made me feel, the next thing I said, I was sure I had no idea what I was really thinking.

I don't like it. I don't like it when she's frowning.

"Sorry." She mumbled and glanced away, eyes starting to glisten.

I sighed and bit my lips, the thought that passed through my head almost making no sense. When I look back at a Shane I didn't know, that absurd idea forced itself out.

"Do you..." I balled my fists inside my pockets. "...hug your friends?"

"H-huh?" She looked up, tears almost ready to fall as soon as she blinked. "Sure, why?"

"Even your guy friends?"

"Yes, why?"

Even Yuri?

I shook that side thought away and focused on one thing. "I just wanted to make sure it's fine."

"Why not?" Her voice cracked slightly at her attempted laugh. "I love hugging my friends- Jin?"

When I took a few steps towards her, her head rose until our eyes met. I didn't know I was this much taller than her, but at this distance, I could tell just that. Like how I could tell one stray tear had already slid down from the corner of her eyes.

"I don't know what happened," I whispered. "But will a hug suffice as an additional birthday gift?"

With no clue what exactly happened, I should've just stayed quiet. But as soon as I said that, she blinked, and another tear left her eyes. Then water built up from them again. She bit her lips, but tears only flowed freely. Then she gave one light nod.

I took my hands out of my pockets and reached one to her head. It slid to her nape while I cautiously placed my other hand behind her, pulling her towards me gently. When her face lowered down on my shoulder, I thought my heart stopped at the shaking arms wrapping around me.

Dammit.

After pushing all the weird and uncertain thoughts at the back of my head, I pulled her closer and caressed the side of her hair with my thumb. Shane's body trembled as her hands gripped my shirt, sniffs and little sobs ringing closer to my ears than I thought possible as warm tears drenched a part of my uniform.

I don't like this. I don't like what I'm hearing.

I pressed my cheek close to her temple and gritted my teeth at her continuous crying. I didn't know what exactly was it I was feeling, but from the pit of my stomach, agitation was the main and only thing I could recognize.

It didn't matter if she was an adult or Shane's biological parent; I could yell at her if I saw her anywhere. But the frustrating part was that no matter what I or anyone would do, it didn't change the fact that she left Shane.

I was powerless, but at that moment, I wished there was something more I could do so Shane wouldn't have to cry like this again.

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A/N:

Stress in the pronunciation of the surnames mentioned here is capitalized:

pangaNIban