i had a long sleepless night thinking about adam and how i had managed to make things so awkward. i knew i needed to talk to danny, he always knew what to say. even if it's mean. which, sometimes it is.

connie looked at me as i yawned,"how'd you sleep?"

i rolled my eyes,"i didn't, thanks connie."

she sighed,"is this about how you and adam didn't kiss?"

i looked at her with surprise,"what? how'd you know about that?"

she smiled sheepishly,"we might have enlisted charlie to spy."

i wasn't even able to be angry, i was just so annoyed that i had ruining everything,"okay, yes, i'll admit... it's possible i may have fucked up."

connie laughed,"i'm sure it's not that bad. banksie's a big boy, his little feelings are fine."

i rolled my eyes, running a hand through my hair,"well, maybe that's true, but that doesn't mean it won't be weird between us."

"things have been weird between you two since you met. he's never had a crush on a teammate before." connie explained.

i narrowed my eyes,"are you sure? him and charlie are pretty close."

she laughed,"well, you got me there."

"guys," julie walked into our room from the kitchen,"we have to go to the rink in like ten minutes, what are you doing?"

she was fully dressed and ready to go, meaning we were way behind.

connie shrugged,"cut her some slack, she's all stressed out about adam."

julie looked at me sympathetically,"well, i can cut slack, but coach definitely can't."

i nodded, knowing she was right,"you're right, we'll hurry."

connie nodded,"yeah, i'm sure if it's one thing coach doesn't understand, it's girl talk."

i nodded,"plus, i should talk to danny about this instead. he's better equipped to handle my overthinking."

•

we watched videos of iceland playing on the tv, as coach told us everything they were doing wrong.

i must admit, seeing the iceland players in all their glory was daunting. they were extremely talented players, not to mention their stature.

if we couldn't at least match them in skill, i wasn't sure we stood a chance. they were just too big.

after the videos, we went to the rink to do a bunch of basic drills, while luis worked on stopping.

coach even enlisted this man named jan, who was apparently important to the ducks. he seemed like a well enough man, except his method for luis, seemed a little strenuous.

there were cans stacked up in a pyramid type fashion, and every time he knocked into them poor jan had to pick them back up and reset.

i would have maybe chosen something that took less time to set back up, but i guess it hurt to land on the cans, which would make luis want to do it less.

i understood his reasoning, it just seemed like a lot of extra work.

i skated over to charlie, who was watching luis in amusement,"are you enjoying this?"

charlie turned to me, grinning devilishly,"it's possible that i find this the least bit of amusing."

i chuckled and shook my head,"you think he'll be able to do it?"

i felt someone skate up from behind me, "talking about luis?"

i looked up at a smiling adam, who seemed to just be forgetting the whole situation from last night.

i nodded,"wondering what our captain thinks in regard to his speed skater being able to stop."

we both looked at charlie expectantly, who sighed and shrugged,"um...i mean, yeah, maybe. it's only the first day. time will tell, i guess."

"and in the meantime, you'll just enjoy him injuring himself?" i offered, smiling lightly at him.

he chuckled,"sounds like a plan."

•

after practice was finally over, i decided now would be a great time to talk to danny.

"danny, can i talk to you?" i asked as he finished tying his shoes.

he nodded, though he was a little confused, "sure, we can talk on the way home."

i smiled lightly, glad that he was so willing to listen to my complaints. i mean, as my best friend, it was kind of his obligation, but it was still sweet.

when we were safely out of earshot from anyone who could be listening, i stared to ramble,"okay, so, basically what happened was, adam and i hung out. and it was fun, we have like this cute banter, which i like-"

danny laughed,"okay, scar, the walk isn't that long, i need the quick facts."

i chuckled and shook out my head, trying to collect the thoughts that swirled around,"okay, so whatever the thing was fine. but then i... like started to try to kiss him. but then i stopped."

danny gave me a confused look,"and why'd you stop? don't you like him?"

i shrugged,"i mean, yeah, but like... you know, i'm not really a relationship girl."

danny laughed,"well, that's an understatement. the boys in the locker room used to call you scarlett letter."

my mouth gaped open in offense, but it quickly faltered as i admitted,"that's clever."

he nodded,"i know right, i didn't think they even knew what that book was."

"right," i laughed,"i mean, the nickname actually has layers. they're basically calling me an adulterous, which also means that i don't just stick to one thing. very insightful, i'm impressed."

"okay, yes, maybe they're smart," danny said, trying to get me to veer back to the subject,"but that's not the point. you were talking about adam."

i snapped my fingers, glad that he had reminded me,"yes, so i didn't kiss him. and now i think i made everything kind of weird."

he shrugged, kicking a rock as we walked,"you probably did, you make everything weird all the time."

i scoffed and hit his arm,"you're supposed to help me, not be mean."

he sighed,"fine," he looked up at the sky, trying to think of what to say,"look, scar, you have commitment issues, we all know this. why do you think you couldn't pick between figure skating and hockey?"

"yeah, well, i have a lot of issues, most of them caused by my father like every other girl. what's your point?" i questioned, waiting for his sage advice.

"my point," he said sharply,"if you would shut your stupid mouth and let me speak," he waited for me to talk, but i zipped my mouth closed,"is that...hey, if you don't wanna be with him, don't be with him. you're probably just not ready and that's fine."

i shrugged,"yeah, i guess," but something was still nagging me,"except it's also like, am i ever gonna be ready?"

danny frowned,"you'll know when you know, scar. but, who knows, maybe your daddy issues will ruin your life forever."

i snorted, his bluntness taking me for a ride, "wow, that'd be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it?"

he laughed, slugging an arm around me,"come on, i was kidding. i'm sure you won't be messed up and weird forever."

i smiled in amusement,"here's hoping."

•

coach and i walked into the locker room to grab my helmet right before another practice. i had mindlessly forgotten it, and coach had forgotten his clipboard.

when i was fully in the room, i saw adam about to wrap his wrist.

i knit my brows, having no idea that he wrapped before,"banksie?"

he jolted his head up, surprised at the sudden company.

"now just think how you'd play with two good wrists." coach stated, taking a seat at the bench across from him.

he tried to give us a reassuring smile,"coach, scar, it's just a little sore."

coach sighed, disappointed in himself,"i should have spotted it sooner. sorry, i wasn't doing my job."

i leaned against the wall, twisting my ring around my finger. it had become kind of a habit when i was nervous. thoughts of my helmet had been abandoned.

adam kept the brave face,"coach, i'm fine, i can play."

"okay," coach grabbed a stick and held it up to banks,"let's find out." he went to grab it with his good hand, which bombay corrected,"no, other hand," adam tentatively grabbed it,"now rotate it."

he only went about a fifth of the way before completely dropping the stick, tears in his eyes. i stayed out of the scene, not sure how i could help.

coach sighed, staring heavily,"i have to bench you."

adam scoffed,"no! you can't do that."

bombay tried to reason with the overzealous boy,"adam, you could be injured for good."

"you can't bench me!" he continued to argue,"i gotta play, the scouts are here watching me. it's my shot."

"you're young, you're gonna have plenty of shots." coach dismissed the reasoning.

"but my dad's counting on me." he pleaded.

i looked down at the floor, my heart wrenching. i knew how much it meant to him that his dad was watching.

coach went into some rant about his dad, and i knew i should have been listening, but i just didn't wanna hear about dads right now. the lecture wasn't even for me.

"thanks, coach." adam said half heartedly, not exactly enthused by coach's words.

coach nodded and stood up,"i'm gonna go tell the team that practice is delayed. after that we'll go get you x-rayed."

i sighed. i knew i didn't have an inspirational
speech prepared, but i could still offer some sort of comfort.

"can i hug you?" i asked lightly, not wanting to freak him out.

he stood up, setting his wrap on the shelf in his locker,"sure."

i nodded, slowly walking over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

it took a second but he hugged me back, resting his chin on top of my head.

it wasn't the time to note this, but he was very good at giving hugs.

i pulled away, looking up at him,"are you okay?"

he shrugged, trying to keep a brave face,"i guess. it was kind of stupid for me to play anyways."

i nodded, but i didn't want him to beat himself up about it,"yeah, but i'm sure any of us would have done the same thing."

"yeah." he replied, feeling no better than he did moments before.

i frowned and looked at the door,"well, i should go. let me know about your wrist, okay?"

"sure." he smiled politely at me.

i nodded and walked out of the room, not sure there was anything left to say.