Today was the day Adam, Bree, and Chase had their first official day of school. But before they could go, Donald needed to check their bionics. "Okay, guys. You have been trained for all kinds of missions." He recalled. "But you are about to enter a soul bruising, confidence crushing, apocalyptical environment: high school. Adam, Bree, your glitch test results are fairly stable." "Yes! I'm going to school!" Bree cheered. "Yes! Fairly stable!" Adam exclaimed. "But, Chase, I am still concerned about your Commando App." Donald explains, leaving Chase a little disappointed. "Commando App? Put on some underpants. We're going to school." Leo said. "No, see, in the face of an imminent threat, Chase's Commando App kicks in and he becomes a fearless brute I like to call Spike." He continued. "It's kinda like a fight or flight thing, except I took out the flight part, 'cause, useless. And I replaced it with a testosterone level of like a Tasmanian Devil- Wolverine-Shark-Lion hybrid that's mad." "Don't worry, Mr Davenport." Chase reassured him. "I promise that Spike won't rear his ugly head." "Oh, yeah? You mean like last Christmas when I made the mistake of giving Adam boxing gloves?" Donald remembers. "Ugh. I'm still coughing up tinsel." Adam shrugged. "You know, letting Chase go to school, isn't such a good idea." Donald warned. "I can't risk Spike coming out." "Oh, come on, Big D." I begged. "Chase has to come." "With these guys, Maya and I will finally get a prime spot in the cafeteria." Leo added. "That's right, y'all. Put on your coats, 'cause we're about to ride your tail!" "Don't worry. We'll make sure he stays out of trouble, right guys?" Adam asked. "Yeah." Bree replied. "It's one for all and all for one. Unless, of course, you guys make me look bad, in which case, I am dropping you lame-o's." "Mr Davenport, I can't miss school." Chase begged. "This is the beginning of my academic achievements and career trajectory. I mean, the road to astronaut lawyer has to start somewhere." "Okay." Donald hesitated, but still agreed. "But I better not get a call from the art teacher saying that Spike ripped out her larynx. Actually, she wouldn't be able to say anything because Spike ripped out her lar... the point is just keep him out of trouble." "Hey, look what I found." Adam said, wearing a pair of boxing gloves, punching the air until he accidentally hit Chase. "Look, I'm sorry, but if he's that close to the gloves, it's gonna happen." "Here, let me help you, Chase." I said as I helped Chase up from the floor before we headed to school.

Later that day, at school, we went to the cafeteria for lunch. "Okay, you guys. That's Principal Perry." I explained, pointing to our cat loving principal. "She has the temperament of a junkyard dog stuffed into a really bad pantsuit." "Hey, you! No tongue rings in school!" She snapped at a student. "Don't try to hide it. I will take a metal detector to your face!" All of a sudden, Bree noticed a few guys walking around that she thought were really cute. "This is it. My chance for romance." Bree squealed. "On TV, the new girl always drops her books and the cute guy with the soulful eyes picks them up." Bree dropped her books, causing one of the teachers to slip. "Ouch." I said. "Sorry, I'm new." Bree apologized. "Okay, your social life is determined by where you sit." Leo explains. "We can't sit at the cool table, but we can be cool table adjacent." "FYI, Adam just sat down at the cool table." Bree said. "What?!" Leo gasped. "He can't sit there! That's where the football players sit with the cheerleaders. And they pride themselves in finding very clever places to stuff your pudding cup." From the looks of it, the cheer squad seemed to be very entertained by Adam playing with his food. "Those girls are actually talking to him." Chase said. "And they can't talk about shapes and colors forever. See ya." "No!" Leo exclaimed. "The football players are gonna turn them into the 5th food group. It's a rescue mission. Move in. Move in." Leo, Bree, and I walked to the table. "Oh, hey, guys." Adam greeted. "Look, these girls just told me when the football players get here, I'm getting a free pudding cup." "Oh, Adam. That's really great." I said sarcastically as I turned to Chase and whispered. "Walk away." "How's it going?" Leo asked, flirting with one of the cheerleaders. "You're in great danger." I whispered to Chase. All of a sudden, the football team made their entrance into the cafeteria, only to see a little surprise that was Adam and Chase. "Hey. That's my seat." Trent, the quarterback said. "Get lost before I use you like a napkin." "Chase, we should probably go." Bree warned. "He's not very absorbent." "Oh, look! A spill!" He gasped sarcastically, spilling his water on the table. "I think I'm gonna wipe it up with your face." That's when Chase glared at the Trent and put him in a headlock. This punk just released Spike possibly. "Think again, bubbleneck." Spike insulted him. "I'm gonna rip out your kneecaps and use them as hockey pucks." Adam got out of his chair and came back over to us. "Okay, I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I think Spike's back." Adam said. "You have no idea who you're messing with." He grunted. "Okay? Pudding cups!" "Oh, I'll take those." Spike said, squeezing the cups to splatter on the entire football team. "You're dead!" Trent shouted at Spike roared at him. "You're lucky that we have to go to the reading center right now." After the team left, everyone else applauded Spike, who sat down at the cool table. "Take a seat, compadres." Spike said. "This is our table now." "Wow!" I gasped. "That just happened." "Hello, ladies." Leo greeted flirtatiously at the cheerleaders. "You may remember me from health class when I passed out during the miracle of birth video. It's good to see you again."

Later in the day, our peers were crowding us in the hallway during passing time. "Alright. Make room for the alpha dogs." I announced. "Woof! Woof!" Leo joined in. "Don't do that." Adam said. "Wait, if we're the alpha dogs, then..." Bree trailed off, dropping her books for a few guys to pick up. "Ooh, I love this!" One of our classmates handed Spike a hall pass. "What's this?" Spike asked. "That's an all access hall pass!" Leo exclaimed. "You can go anywhere you want with that." "I can go wherever I want already." Spike scoffed, flexing his muscles. "These are my hall passes." "Okay, if he starts oiling up, I'm out." Leo said. "That makes two of us, big bro." I added. "Commando App disengaged?" Chase asked, returning to normal. "Guys! Why was I in Commando Mode?" "Were you in Commando Mode?" Bree asked. "I didn't see a Commando Mode." Leo lied. "Nope, everything is in tip top shape." I fibbed. "Oh, that's good." Adam said. "Everyone keep lying." "You guys were supposed to watch out for me." Chase recalled. "Oh, we watched the whole thing." Leo explained. "You manhandled the quarterback and pudding popped the whole offensive line!" "You were pretty threatening, but you didn't kill anyone." I added. "What?!" Chase complained. "Aw, great. This is so gonna come back to haunt my Supreme Court nomination." "You know what Spike would say to that? Nothing." Bree said. "He'd rip out your rib cage and play it like a xylophone." "Yeah, I like him." Adam added. "He's like a big, fun monster, and you're a sad little buddy." "I'll get Spike back." Leo said. "Get lost before I use you like a napkin." Leo tried to mimic everything Trent did to release Spike in the first place, but really was embarrassing himself. "Yeah, that's not gonna work." I rolled my eyes.

Later that day, we all chilled out with the cheerleaders at the cool table. "Hey, baby." Leo said, offering his sandwich to one of the girls. "Wanna nibble?" "Hey, there's Trent." Chase pointed out to the football team at a wobbly table. "I better go apologize." "Whoa! Slow it up, buttercup." Bree said. "Mail him a greeting card." Leo suggested. "It's so much more personal." "Yeah, if you want him to beat the living daylights out of you." I added. "Guys, look. The cheerleaders cut up my food into tiny pieces." Adam explains. "I'm eating a turkey burger through a straw. Mmm! Gibblet-y." "Hey! New kid! Come here!" I heard Principal Perry shout. "Do you know what happens when my football players get humiliated? No, you don't! Because my football players don't get humiliated." "They look humiliated to me." Adam commented, slurping his burger. "I know what team spirit is about. Because I was the jammer on the North Pacific Roller Derby Championship Team." Principal Perry said. "Quite an accomplishment." Chase comments. "Don't mock me, Squash Face!" She snapped. "My career ended when a trash talker like you got inside my head and I wiped. One zebra called it the worst single bodied collision she'd ever seen." "I'd crash too if I saw a talking zebra." Chase said. "It's a referee, you desk donkey." Principal Perry insults. "Trent told me what you did this morning at breakfast. You will not undermine the morale of my team. Evacuate this table. Now!" As we got up from the table, Chase once again became Spike through the Commando App. "Watch who you're talking to, sports bra!" Spike humiliates her. "I bet you panicked, threw yourself off the track and blamed the other team for your weakness." "He did not just say that." I gasped quietly. "Do you think this whole Spike thing's gotten a bit out of hand?" Leo asked. "He might've crossed the line at sports bra." Bree replied. "Way too far." I added. "I had to quit because of that accident." She said. "Quit? Or move out of the state in shame?" Spike asked. "He doesn't know! He wasn't there!" Principal Perry exclaimed. "Why don't you hop into your economy car and tootle on home to your six cats and your online bingo tournament." Spike said. "Jokes on you. I have 5 cats." Principal Perry corrected. "Ha!" She walked away until Trent stopped her. "You didn't get our table back." Trent whined. "It's bumming us out. And we're even more bummed out when we lose. Do something!" She walks back over to Spike. "Alright, kid. I'll make you a deal." She offered. "Let's be civilized and settle this the old fashioned way. With a bone crushing grudge match on the football field!" "We're in." Spike accepted. "Me, her, him, her, and him." "You and your band of nobodies versus my fighting dingoes." Principal Perry said. "Who is she calling a nobody?" Bree wondered. "I got half a BFF necklace today." Leo and I were so happy for her. "Winner takes table and all the glory." Principal Perry continues. "Oh, ma'am, as much as I'd like to flex my football fanciness, um, girls soccer has the field tonight." Leo explains. "Ah, just as well. I can't condone such a violent game on school grounds." She sighed. "So, let's take it to the dog park across the street!" The football team was ecstatic about the game and left the cafeteria. "Am I the only one that's gonna need a fresh change of pants before we start?" Leo asked.

Later that night, we had gotten into some padding and came to our football game. Not sure how this is going to go between an entire high school football team against a set of twins and three bionic superhumans. We were pretty outnumbered. "This doesn't seem fair." I said. "Seems fair to me. Let's get it on!" Principal Perry shouted, blowing her whistle. "Let's huddle." Leo said. "Huh?" Adam wondered. "Pardon me?" Bree asked. "I huddled before I got here." Spike said. "Oh, man, you guys don't know how to play football." Leo sighed. "Okay, we need to stop that team from getting into our end zone and scoring a..." At that moment, Trent had tossed the ball to one of his teammates, scoring a touchdown. Two other players also tackled me and Leo. "Touchdown." I groaned. "Should've used more padding." I swear, one more hit probably would've sent me to the hospital.

Adam was an important player in our next play. "Alright, Adam. You squat down right here." Leo explained, helping Adam get into position. "And when I say hike, you're gonna pass the ball between your legs to my hands which will be right here." Leo may have put his hands too close to Adam's butt. "Whoa!" Adam gasped. "Hey, it's football. It's not handsball." "Hey, nuggetheads. Quit sucking air and hike him the ball like this." Spike demonstrates, hiking the ball to Leo, only for the opposing team to use him to get a touchdown.

We needed to figure out this next play. Our team hasn't even scored. "Losing makes me wanna rip out my own intestines and wear 'em as a sweatband." Spike grunted with frustration. "Okay. The only way we're gonna win is if we use your super speed, your super strength, and your super nutty split personality." I explained. "I'll do whatever it takes." Bree said. "I already smell like a sweaty ape. I don't want this to be for nothing." "Here's what we're gonna do." Leo strategized, quickly going over the plan again. "And break!" "Whoo! Go team!" Bree cheered. "I'm a football player and a cheerleader. I'm that good." To get away with this play, we had to create a distraction for the other team. "Hey. Is that a Biggie Burger truck pulling up?" Leo wondered. While everyone looked away, Bree used her speed to tie up the football team's cleats. "Nah, it's just your imagination." I replied. "Hike!" I passed the ball to Spike as the football team was confused about their shoes. "Hey! How did our shoes get tied together?!" Trent asked. Spike ran with the ball to score a touchdown, knocking down some of the players with his strength. "Touchdown!" I shouted. Spike slammed the football into the ground as Adam began cheering. "What? If Bree can be a cheerleader, I can too!" Adam exclaimed. Maybe cheer would be fun to try. Not for the popularity, but for me to express myself.

After some fantastic plays from Spike, we only had a few seconds left in the game. One more touchdown and we will win this game. "Seven seconds left. Remember, kids. There's no shame in losing." Principal Perry said, blowing her whistle. "Oh wait! Yes there is! Game on!" "Alright, we have time for one more play." Leo said. "Spike, you scored every touchdown today. You score one more and we win." "Give me the ball." Spike demands. "If I don't come back with their spleens, you'll know I failed." Just as Spike was about to get into position, Chase regained control of his body. "Wait. Where am I?" Chase asked. "And am I wearing a jock strap?" "Oh, no. It's Chase." Bree panicked. "We need Spike back! Where is he? Where is Spike?!" "Hey, let's go! We don't have all day!" Trent complains. "Time out!" Leo called, infuriating the football team. "I told you I don't want to be Spike." Chase said. "Look, I've been waiting for my first day of school for 15 years. And now I don't even remember it." "When you put it that way, I just feel selfish." Leo sighs. "Me too." I added. "Yeah." Bree said. "Oh, come on! Snap out of it! I wanna win!" Adam shouted at Chase. "No, he's right." Leo explained. "Come on, guys. We can still win this thing." Chase encouraged. "And even if we don't, what do we have to lose?" "Our table." Adam replied. "Popularity." Bree commented. "Everything." Leo and I added. "Come on, we playing football or we playing putt putt?" Trent teased. "Here's what we're gonna do." Leo said. "I'll do a flea flicker toss to you." "And I'll use my mathematical analysis to throw the perfect pass." Chase continued. "Adam, assume the position." I said. "Alright, this is the last time I'm doing this." Adam sighed. As the final play started, Leo passed the ball to Chase. We all got into an open position, but Chase couldn't figure out who to pass to, resulting in him getting tackled. "Game over!" Principal Perry announced. "Dingoes win." "See you in the cafeteria, Alpha Duds." Trent bragged. "Oh, and the pudding's on you." "Well, we may not be the Alpha Dogs anymore, but at least we still have each other." Chase said. "We're not total nobodies." "Oh, we're still total nobodies, but at least we have you three to carry Leo's broken butt home." I reassured him, just as Leo fell to the ground. Adam, Bree, Chase, and I lifted him off the ground and helped take him home.