"Rombha mokkaya iruka?", Ashwin whispered into Ani's ears after 30 minutes of CWC talk.

(Is it boring you to death?)

Seated between Ashwin and Pugazh on either side, Ani had been stuck in an impossible situation. Though he tried to act like he was as cool and thrilled by the reminiscence of hilarious events on sets as the rest of them, his suffering was blatant on his face.

But that wasn't all that made him feel uneasy. It was the fact that they were sharing so many things about his Sivu which he wasn't purview to while Ashwin seemed to be her person in that universe.

Just like a sandcastle crushed by a wave, Ani's assumption that he knew her best was washed away in under 30 minutes. It was heartbreaking for him to feel like an outsider in his Sivu's life and that's exactly how was feeling at that moment.

Wishing to wake up from this nightmare, he turned to look at Ashwin who was meticulously reading his expression.

"Konjam apdi dan iruku", he whispered back with a fake smile to make it seem less obvious to the rest of the group who were still busy laughing at a video from the sets.

(Just a little)

Something about Ani was different that night. Even as a person who did not know him too well, Ashwin could sense the unease and tense on his face, albeit unaware that he played a huge part in it.

And if he could, then so could she.

Sivaangi, seated between Kani akka and Master, was sulking with guilt.

Somehow the conversation had turned to discuss very specific incidents from the past about Ashwin and herself, which everyone but Ani was aware of. To witness the way his face lost its smile for every detail about her that wasn't known to him, was brutal. 

Though Ani knew that the show was her big break and all of the people she worked with were like family, she consciously chose not to delve into details of it with him.

Ashwin. Her memories with him. Those 10 months of magic were just hers. To hold and behold. Forever. He wasn't coming back, and she had to find a way to live with that pain forever.

So, she did the one thing that seemed possible. To bury all her memories and feelings to herself and act like nothing ever happened.

It had worked great until he popped out of thin air like magic, once again. 

She still had a hard time believing that he was back for real and let him in when the voice in her head echoed her deepest vulnerabilities that he had caused.

Remorse and distress suffused her conscious. To be responsible for making Ani feel lonely was suffocating.

She needed for him to know that she had her reasons. She wanted to hug him tight and let him know that he was the only reason she was sane after all that happened.

She yearned to scream that Ani was, is and will always be her person, when she felt Ashwin's gaze on her. Their eyes locked only for a brief second and that was all that he needed to recognize her pang of agony and ache.

A sudden ping on her mobile distracted her back to reality.

Manna: Ani will be ok. I will take care of him. Un alavuku ilanaalum... Edo konjam.

(Ani will be ok. I will take care of him. Though its impossible to take care like you do, I will try)

She smiled at the message, knowing that his eyes were still very much on her.

Rowdy: Bromance ah?

Manna: Apdiyum solalaam.

(You could say that)

***

"Neenga ippo oru call edukra marra veliya ponga. Na oru two mins la edachu soltu varen", Ashwin murmured to Ani.

(Act like you are taking a call. I will be behind you)

Ani wasn't sure what Ashwin had in mind, but anything seemed better than feeling lonely when she was right across from him.

As planned, in 10 minutes Ani gave an excuse and then Ashwin followed suit.

***

Ani stood near the garden, looking at the wall paper on his mobile which was a picture of them smiling at each other.

She was everywhere. There was no way possible to tangibly separate his life from hers.

"Ashwin ... ivlo varsham nijamave nee Sivaangi ah paakave illaya?", Shakila ma had asked and neither Sivaangi nor Ashwin tried to answer it. They both shrugged it off and no one really pushed to know when there were a million other things to discuss.

However that was the only question Ani had and them avoiding to answer it spiraled into a whirlwind of questions in his head.

"Polama?", Ashwin's voice came through amidst the silence and jolted him.

(Shall we go?)

Ani: Enga poganum?

(Where?)

Ashwin: Enga vena... Chumma oru walk. Maybe even drive.

(Anywhere you want to. Maybe even drive)

Ani: Enna panna porom?

(What are we going to do?)

Ashwin: Pesa porom

(Talk)

Ani: Purila

(I dont get it)

Ashwin: Ungalku neraya kelvi iruku nu theriyum. Neenga keta ava kandippa ungalta solluva. Aana sila vishyangal neenga avalta keka mateenga. Adha enkitaye kelunga.

(I am sure you have a lot of questions. You could ask her and I am sure that she will respond to every question you have. But you might have things that you dont want to ask her. So, you could just ask me)

Ani was caught off guard by this sudden heart to heart that came out of nowhere.

Ani: Walk panlam

(Lets walk)

The duo started to walk towards the beach in silence, following the sound of the waves. Except for the occasional glances there wasn't any form of verbal communication until they reached the shore.

Ani: Sivu oda CWC life pathi Enaku rombha details theriyaadu. Ava sonadhu Illa... Na ketadhum Illa. Pugazh, Rakshan, Kani akka and obviously Chefs ah over the years meet panirken. Aana you seem to be the most important person in her life back then.

(I dont know a lot aboout her CWC days. She has not shared and I did not ask either. I did know that you guys are all like family. Pugazh, Rakshan, Kani akka and the Chefs, I have met over the years. But you seem to be the most important person in her life back then.)

Ashwin could see where Ani was getting at but could not really reveal anything until he knew what exactly his question was.

Ashwin: Idhula kelvi illaye

(This is not a question)

Ani: Ashwin ... ivlo varsham nijamave nee Sivaangi ah paakave illaya nu Shakila ma ketanga. Neengalum edhuvum solala... avalum edhuvum solala. En? Paathadhu illaya? Nijamave?

(Shakila Ma asked if you have never met Sivaangi after the show. You did not answer. Why? Have you really not seen her?)

Ashwin was baffled by the fact that Ani though looked preoccupied and disinterested in the conversation has observed so carefully to note that both him and her tried to avoid any questions about the past three years.

Ashwin: Naa paathurken. Ava enna paathadhu illa.

(I have seen her. But she has not seen me seeing her)

Ani: Idhula answer illaye

(Thats not an answer)

Ashwin: Avaloda ela award vaangra moment um na nerla irundhu... paathu... rasichirken. As a fan. Dhoorathla irundhu.

(I have been at every award show to cheer for her. As a fan. One amongst the millions of people who celebrate her success)

"Ennoda ella milestones layum neenga en kooda irupeengala?", he reminisced her words were still fresh in his memory like it happened only yesterday.

(Will you always be with me when I achieve my milestones?)

"Irupen ma. Kandippa. Unakaaga kai thatra modha aal naana dan irupen. I will be there.", he had promised, and he had gone great lengths to keep it, though she had no clue about any of it.

(I will be there. For sure. I will be the first person to cheer for you and also the loudest. I will be there)

Ani: Apo ava thedra andha secret well-wisher neenga dhaana?

(So, you are the well-wisher she pines to meet every time?)

Ani's question hit him like a bullet on his head. Those words that she never failed to say in any award function were too special to him.

Ashwin could not help but be visibly startled by this straight and candid question. But he quickly gathered his acting skills and put on an innocent look.

Ashwin: Purila

(I dont get it)

Ani let out a chuckle, well aware of the act that Ashwin was trying to pull.

Ani: Ungalku purila. Na nambiten. Straight ah kekren. Ava endha award vaangnaalum... its dedicated to my well-wisher nu dan kadasiya solluva. Adhu neenga dhaaney?

(You dont get it. I believe that. Let me be very straight. She dedicates her every award to her well-wisher. That is you. Right?)

Ashwin: Adhu avalta dan kekanum.

(You should probably ask her that)

Ani: Fair point. Ungalku theriyum nu enaku theriyum. But ok. Now your turn. Ungalkum enkita keka neraya kelvi irukum la?

(Fair point. I know that you know the answer too. But thats ok. Now your turn. You must have a lot of questions for me as well)

The plates were quickly turned which Ashwin was not expecting by a long shot.

Ashwin: Whats your favorite memory with her?

Ani: Neraya iruku.

(I have a lot)

Ashwin: The one that comes to your mind often. Elarkum apdi onu irukum la.

(You should have one special memory right?)

Ani: This was way back when we just started to hang out with each other.

A smile found its way to Ani's face.

*Flashback in Italics*

Ani was driving Sivaangi back home after their recording session as it was raining when his phone started buzzing.

Ani: Sivaangi... if you don't mind andha call ah pick panni speaker la podreengala

(Sivaangi... can you please pick that and put it on speaker?)

Sivaangi: Sure.

Ani: Sollu Shravan

(Tell me)

Shravan: Nalaiku award show. Costume ready ah iruku. Veetuku vandhutu iruken. Oru trial paathurlam.

(Tomorrow is the award show. Costume is ready and I am on the way to your place. Lets do a trial)

Ani: Shit... maranten da.

(Shit... I totally forgot)

Shravan: Dei... you are getting Best music director award for third time in a row. Konjamaachu poruppu iruka?

(You are getting the Best Music director award for third time in a row. This is so special. Do you even have any idea?)

Sivaangi couldn't help but let out a giggle. The first time he saw her smile genuinely. Her eyes twinkled. A sight that he has etched in his memory even before she became his person.

Shravan: Yaaru kooda iruka?!

(Who are you with?)

His friend was all set to bully him while he was not remotely ready to make her feel the slightest bit awkward.

Ani: Sivaangi.

Shravan: Nalaiku avanga perform panranga la?!

(She is also performing tomorrow right?)

That was news to him. They were not that close to share their itineraries, but they had spent most part of the last 48 hours together and she hadn't mentioned anything about it.

She nodded in silence.

Ani: Aama da.

(Yes)

Ani's did not try to mask his disappointment by any means. It hurt and bothered him deeply that she did not even care to share such a superficial piece of detail and it did not go unnoticed by her.

Shravan: Seri epo varuva? Na ippo Saaligramam vanten.

(So when will you be back? I am already close to Saaligramam)

Sivaangi: Anna... neenga en veetuku vandhurunga. Nanga almost reach aito. Angaye try panidlam.

(Anna. Come to my place. We will be there very soon. We can do the trials there)

Ani stared at her without a clue when Sivaangi rightfully gave her address and hung up.

Sivaangi: Na edachu Thapa solitena?

(Did I say something wrong?)

Ani: Illa... just idhu varaikum...

(NO. Its just that...)

Sivaangi: Sorry for not telling you about the award show Ani. Friends?

That was the first time she addressed him as Ani. Though he had tried a lot to make her lose the Sir status, she had been very rigid with her decision. But now, out of the blue, she addressed him as Ani.

Ani: Friends..... Sivu.

*Flashback ends*

Ani: Just like that.... We became friends. Ava enaku ivlo special ah irupa nu nenaikala. Aana ippo ava illama en life la edhuvume illa.

(Just like that... we became friends. I never imagined that she would become this special but right now my life is a void without her)

Ashwin: Trust me Ani. Ungalku epdi ava ilaama life illayo.... adhey marra dan avalkum. You mean so much to her. Neenga ava life la rombha important aana oru person.

(Trust me Ani. She reciprocates the exact feeling. You mean so much to her. You are a very important person in her life)

Ani: Edho ava enna vitutu pora madri oru feeling iruku

(I feel like I am losing her)

Ashwin: Na unmaya onu sollava

(Can I say something very honest?)

Ani: Hmm

Ashwin put his hands arounds Ani's shoulder.

Ashwin: Enaku poraamaya iruku. Konjam kaduppa kooda iruku. The place you hold in her life is so very special.

(I am a little jealous. I little annoyed too. The place you hold in her life is so very special.)

Ani: Idhu rombha over

(This is too cheesy. Unreal)

Ashwin: Nijamma. Yaar vandhalum, ava life la irukra unga place ah yaaralayum fill panna mudiyaadhu.

(No one can ever take your place in her life. Ever)

Those words coming from Ashwin certainly meant a lot to Ani. To know that his bond with her is safe, was a blissful feeling indeed. 

Ani: Thanks

Ashwin: Edhuku?

(For what?)

Ani: For being the kind of person that deserves her love.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thoughts?

PS: So sorry for the delay. Work, health and Diwali screwed up all my plans. But I hope and wish to be regular going forward. 

Kadavule... koodave irundhu kaapathu pa. 

I missed you all. I missed reading hilarious comments and laughing my heart out. 

As you all might know, I am also collaborating with amazing authors of this fandom for an exciting piece of work. Do give them a follow on Twitter AshaangiWriters.