*Long chapter alert*

"Thanks so much", Ashwin thanked the random stranger who helped him get back home after being stranded in the middle of the road for an hour after a car breakdown and a dead phone on a cold January morning.

"Ashwin please. Ungala meet pannadhe avlo happy idhula neenga eduku thanks lam", the stranger was more than excited in meeting her long-time crush. The man looked like a Greek god, sexier and more dapper in person than any picture or video. Not even close.

His introverted nature was very well established and it was to be expected that he will maintain a safe distance with her being a girl but the fact that he did not even ask her name was astonishing. She was grateful that he at the very least accepted to drive with her instead of just making a call to a friend.

"En per Kavya", she introduced herself.

"Thanks, Kavya", he smiled.

The charming smile that any girl would fall for. She was a well-established surgeon and yet this man had her enchanted in a single smile. She could not help but think what would it be like to be loved by him. 

Shrugging away those thoughts before ruining the good moment,"Can I get a selfie?"

This wasn't anything unusual. He loved to meet his fans and the least he could do in return for their never-ending support is to smile for a picture.

Watching all of this from a distance, Sivaangi was lost. First off, he was reckless and now he was standing there smiling with a girl who was not her.

Rakshan standing next to her wondered why his sister was so disturbed and anxious. The twenty minutes he had taken to reach her place, she had called him every single minute. It was so unusual of her to react for something as menial as not being able to reach a number.

As soon as he reached, he could tell that she had been worried sick by the way her eyes and face looked though she denied to his face. There were so many unsaid emotions overwhelming her and witnessing it first-hand opened up a lot of questions and plausibilities.

Why was she so scared of anything bad happening to Ashwin? She hasn't even been in touch with him for years and all of a sudden it looked like they had travelled back to the sets of CWC2. Vivid memories rushed back filling him with pictures of how the two used to be. In their own little world where no one else existed but the two of them.

Snapping back to reality with a jerk when she pat his shoulders,he put his pondering into a back burner for the time being.

Sivaangi: Va ney polam.

(Come lets go)

Rakshan: En thangam? Avana pakanum nu soniye.

(Why? You wanted to see him right?)

Sivaangi: Paathachu. Polam.

(Ya and I did. So, lets go)

Rakshan: Thangam.. oru nimisham. Enna prechana?

(What is your problem?)

Sivaangi: Oru prechanayum illa.

(Nothing)

Rakshan: Enkita solraduku en ivlo yosikra?

(Why are you hesitating?)

Sivaangi: Avaru 25 minutes la call panla. Next second lendu en manasu patta paadu enaku dan theriyum. Inga vandu paatha... avaru cool ah sirichtu dan irukaaru.

(When he did not call me in 25 minutes, each second that passed gave me a panic attack. But he seems to be cool and unaffected.)

Rakshan: Avana yaaro drop panirkaanga. Maybe his car broke down. Avan thanks solran. Iduku lam kovama?

(Someone has dropped him so maybe his car broke down. I think he is just thanking. why are you angry?)

Sivaangi: Adhu kovam illa.

(Am not angry)

Rakshan: Pinna?

(Then?)

Sivaangi: Avangalta phone vangi 1 minute call panirkalam la?

(He could have borrowed her phone and called me for just a minute)

Rakshan: Correct dan...

Sivaangi: En nyabagame illa ne avaruku. Pudhusu illa. Neraya dhadava nadandhurku. Eduvum maarala. Maarirkum nu na en nenchen nu dan therla.

(He does not think about me. It's not new. I thought he might be more considerate but looks like nothing changed)

Her voice was cracking and he knew what would happen next. The dejection and pain were so raw and blatant that he could not handle looking at his baby sister so crushed.

Why was she shattered? It did not make sense nor add up.

Yes, Ashwin could have definitely called her but missing to do that shouldn't be such a big deal. They were not even talking to each other for years.

With each passing minute, his doubts just multiplied and grew exponentially. Something was off however this wasn't the time for interrogation.

Rakshan: Kutty Ma... Annana paaru..

What else did she expect from Ashwin? He breaks her. Every single time. Why does she believe him to do anything different?

It was on her to have trusted him to treat her better this time. She wasn't going to lose herself all over again. This had to end. 

She managed to pull back her tears which were so close to rolling down her cheeks before looking at her concerned brother. She had to keep her mask on for a little while.

Sivaangi: Anna please enna veetuku kootitu poidu.

(Please take me home)

Rakshan: Seri thangam.. Unaku adhu dan venum na apdiye panre.

(Ok. If you want me to do that, I will)

Sivaangi: Namba inga vandadhu... inga paathadhu elame namakulla matum dan irukanum.

(Also, we should just keep our visit here to ourself)

Rakshan: Kutty Ma...

Sivaangi: Please

He drove her back home. There was dead silence from her the whole time until they reached.

Rakshan: Paathu iru. Evening meet panlam.

(Take care. Will see you in the evening)

She faked a smile but he knew better than to believe it. 

Sivaangi: Thanks ne. Koopta odana vandhaduku. Sorry ennala un thookam pochu.

(Thank you for coming as soon as I called. Sorry for the trouble)

Rakshan: Nee kooptu epdi ma varaama irupe. Nee ulla po. Safe ah iru.

(I will come whenever you need me. Go in and stay safe.)

As Rakshan was about to start his car, he saw Ani's car pull over next to his with her parents. He got down to say hi to them before leaving.

Sivaangi ran into her mom and hugged her tight.

Binni Ma: Enna aachu Sivu?

(What happened?)

Sivaangi: Rombha miss panen ma. Rombha thaniya irukra madri irunduchu.

(Missed you a lot. I felt lonely)

Rakshan watched her tears that she was struggling to hold were now out. It conveyed the angst built up in her.

Ani was unusually quiet. His face looked like he was pre-occupied and completely absent. It was very strange to see Ani not running to Sivaangi when she was crying.

Rakshan's head was a mess and spiraling with uncertainty. Filled with apprehension and hesitancy, the heavy feeling in his heart was on a steep rise.

Krishna Pa was the first to notice Rakshan standing a few feet away.

Krishna Pa: Rakshan.. enna inga? Adhuvum ivlo kaalaila?

(Rakshan.. How are you here this early in the morning?)

Sivaangi: Onum illa pa. Na dan summa pakanum pola irunduchu nu vara sonen.

(I asked him to come over. I just felt like seeing him)

She jumped to answer before he mentioned anything related to Ashwin to her parents.

She still remembered the day she came back after meeting with Ashwin three years ago. She went there to confess her love for him but returned back losing it forever. The pain was so numbing that she could not feel anything. She was wrecked beyond repair but she was also determined to not let that affect anyone but her own self.

"Ashwin paaka pona la? Face la glow va kaanum", her mother had teased innocently .

(You went to meet Ashwin right? Where is the glow?)

"Ma.. nanga just well-wishers. Neengala edachu nenaikaadeenga", she had said with a broken heart and a fake smile. For the first time she told herself that she would never be anything more to him and it felt like a part of her was dead forever. She couldn't do anything but try to savage whatever she had left.

(We are just well-wishers. Dont assume anything more)

How was she going to tell her mother that she will never glow that way ever again? How could she tell her that the shy smile she loved was lost?

Her dad trusted Ashwin more than her. He always said,"Andha paiyan edhu pannalum correct ah dan pannuvan. Nee avan solradha kelu".

(Whatever that guy does would be the right thing. Just listen to him)

How was she going to tell her dad that she will never have him by her side ever again to guide her?

From that day until now, there were so many instances of her parents trying to talk about him but she never engaged in it. She always maintained a quiet smile. Nothing more, nothing less.

There was no reason to change it. There is never going to be.

Rakshan turned to look at her with questioning eyes and she responded back with a pleading look which he could not ignore.

Rakshan: Summa dan pa. Avala paaka vanden. Kelambanum. Evening meet panlam. Bye Ma. Bye Ani.

(Came by to see her. I have to leave now. Will see you in the evening. Bye Ma. Bye Ani)

Ani stood there still too distracted to notice anything happening around. This time Sivaangi took note of it as well.

Sivaangi: Ani

It was her voice that finally brought him back to his senses. He mentally slapped himself for being bemused and absent minded that too when she was around. Bracing himself for the series of questions she was going to fire at him, he walked closer.

Ani: Sivu..

Sivaangi: Anna Bye sonaru. Kekala?

(He was talking to you. Werent you listening?)

Ani: Sorry Sivu.. Just exhausted. Bye Rakshan. Evening pakalam.

The usual josh in his tone was missing. She could read through him like a byheart book and she knew something was bothering him but she waited for the right moment to ask him about it.

Rakshan's car zoom passed them and her parents walked in leaving the two to talk it out.

Sivaangi: Ani what's wrong?

She did not want everything going on between Ashwin and herself to affect her bond with Ani. If Ani needed her, she was going to there for him no matter what. Even if that meant she doesn't get the time to console herself.

Ani: Onu illa Sivu. Tired avlo dan.

(Nothing just tired)

He wasn't ready to talk to her. Not yet. Her presence was too addictive and he would never be able to think of a reason to not marry her if she was standing this close to him.

He started to walk inside but she held his hand.

Sivaangi: Spill it.

Ani: Nee epodum enkooda irupiya?

(Will you be with me forever?)

His sudden question baffled her. What reason did he have to come up with a question like this?

Sivaangi: Ani.. enna kelvi idhu?

(What kind of a question is this?)

Ani: Sollu Sivu

(Just answer me)

Sivaangi: Kandippa irupen. You are stuck with me. Neeye poren nu sonaalum unna na vidradha illa. Ok?

(I will always be. You are stuck with me and you dont have a choice to leave. Ok?)

Ani: Nee enaku rombha rombha mukyam.

(You are too important to me)

She was perplexed at his sudden confession. She was well aware of her importance in his life and she wasn't scared to show his importance in hers as well.

It wasn't like him to say all of this with no reason. The struggle in his voice and eyes expressed his anxiety and nervousness. She could not help but wonder why.

Sivaangi: Idhu nee enaku solanuma enna?

(Do you think I dont know?)

Ani: Solanumnu thonichu.

(I just wanted to say it out aloud)

He squeezed her hands and his eyes welled up.

Never in all this time she had known him, she ever saw him this vulnerable. She needed to alleviate whatever was causing so much distress in him but she also sensed that he needed time to open up.

Sivaangi: Unna edo disturb pannudhu nu theriyum. Ippove solanum nu illa. But you need to tell me.

(I know there is something thats bothering you. Just tell me when you are ready)

Ani nodded in silence and they walked into her home.

She checked her mobile one last time before switching it off and somehow her stupid heart still hoped that Ashwin would have called or at least texted. But her mind proved to be right once again, there was no call or text from him yet and it was more than an hour since she left from his place.

"No Hope", she murmured to herself as she walked in.

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Thoughts?

PS: Don't hate me for this chapter. It was definitely needed to show how fragile Sivaangi's state of mind is. It isn't easy for her to trust and it is not going to be. Long road ahead.