You had been so happy when you turned 10 at last, you were finally in the double digit zone. After the little celebration put on by your favorite nuns— and of course your grandma as well, despite the fact she wasn't feeling well— and everyone else had retired to bed, Tooru appeared at your window as usual, in his hands he held a rather large tome, it was a birthday gift from him to you; a tome specializing in many Earth centric spells. You were absolutely overjoyed that night.

~

As it turns out, these precious moments don't always last.

A mere week later your grandma falls terribly ill, she becomes even more pale and fragile than she already had been for the last few years now.

Your dear sweet grandma dies within the week.

You sit in your room, uneasy and tense as you wait for news about your grandmama. You're completely silent as you fiddle with your fingers, ears trying to pick up the slightest sound.

You hear light footsteps followed by hushed whispers on the other side of the door, your ears strain to hear them as you lightly slide off your bed and press your ear against the door.

“How are we supposed to tell her? S-she's going to be devastated when she finds out her grandmother is dea—” you don't even let the nuns finish speaking.

As soon as your mind processes the words your heart rate triples in speed and you quickly push open your door, not caring that you shoved a nun away in the process as you run into your grandma’s room, surely it can't be true.

Despite running at a pace that left your lungs burning because you wanted to get to your grandma’s room as quickly as possible, now… now that you're here standing in front of the door you're hesitating. You're hesitating because what if it truly isn't some cruel prank the nuns are playing on you? You reach for the doorknob and your hand is shaking.

You open the door.

She looks so peaceful where she lays, completely still and beautiful, she's still too young for the fate she has received.

You walk up to the bed silently, you can’t even breathe. You fall hard on your knees, but you don't care as you sob loudly beside the bed where your grandmother lays, your hands clutching the sheets next to her tightly, her eyes will be closed now and forever from now on. Your eyes are puffy and red, your head hurts and so do your eyes; but you don't care, not anymore.

You're not sure if you've been crying for only a few minutes or a few hours, but either way, most of the other nuns already paid their respects and left, it's just you now— well, you and sister Mara. Because for as mean and grouchy as she always seemed to be, she was still your grandmother’s best friend. That was your grandma alright, befriending everyone she met no matter how outwardly intimidating or unappealing. Still though, surely there's something in sister Mara that made your grandmother care about her so.

You had never liked sister Mara, you always had thought she was too serious and uptight, but sister Mara cared for your grandmama too, because despite how hard she's trying to conceal it, you can still hear sister Mara’s muffled and broken sobs.

You sit there, with your head laid against the bed, you feel hollow and you've used up all your tears for the moment, but you don't dare to look up and your grandmother, if you do then you'll find out that you actually do have more tears left.

You feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, lightly rubbing in a soothing pattern. “She told me to tell you that she knows you'll become a wonderful woman, like your mother. S-she said she loves you.” You hiccup as you feel more tears beginning to pool at your eyes. “She said to be brave, okay?” Asks sister Josefina, her voice wavering. You didn't even hear her walk in. Your eyes look up at her figure, you see her smiling down at you.

Her lips are quivering as she tries you keep strong and continue smiling down at you, you know for sure it's genuine. “Okay.” You say, your voice cracking as you begin crying again.

~

When you finally drag yourself to your room you're tackled in the form of a hug. The familiar faint smell of rain and citrus on the skin of the person hugging you close let you know that somehow Tooru found out what had happened. “Bim pibe usev porad.” ‘It'll be alright,’ Tōru comforts.

He brought Hajime too apparently, because a different warm hand is lightly placed on your shoulder and the faint scent of pine is detectable from behind you. You feel tears welling up at your eyes again.

That night Tooru wraps you in a blanket and hugs you while Iwa-chan tells entertaining stories about knights and dragons and magic. They help you take your mind off the pain that night. Eventually Iwa-chan must leave since he has knight training early in the morning but Tooru stays over the entire night.

In the early hours of morning just before the sun is about to rise, Tooru leads you outside— both of you wrapped up in the same blanket. Together you watch the sun rise. The air is fresh and missing the usual noise of all the hustle and bustle that humans create, all there is to be heard is the many birds chirping in the trees.

You cry into Tooru's shoulder once more.

~

A year later and things haven't gotten much better for you or Tooru. For the most part you've gotten over the death of your grandmama, but since she died, sister Mara became the new head of the church, she also became more cold than ever before.

And yet even after she had died no one told you her name no matter how much you begged. That was, as you found out, because the only person that knows now is sister Mara.

Now that you think about it, you're pretty sure she's never liked you because of your mother. Sister Mara never agreed with the lifestyle your mother led, a free-spirited mage who worked in a guild doing dangerous jobs. Sister Mara knows you want to be like her, maybe that's why she seems to hate you.

“(Y/n)?” Sister Josefina asks.

You snap your head up to look at her, “s-sorry sister Josefina, I-I won't space out anymore, I promise!”

Sister Josefina gives you a smile that holds pity for you, “It's alright dear, I won't tell sister Mara.”

Your cleric training has doubled in intensity and length since sister Mara became head of the church; and speak of the devil, sister Mara walks in to observe your training.

You finish training for the day and stand up to leave after sister Josefina bids you goodbye and leaves, but sister Mara steps in front of the door and closes it as she speaks, “(y/n), starting tomorrow we'll be increasing the intensity and length of your cleric training.”

Your eyes widen, “what? No way! You already made the lessons four hours long! The stuff you're having sister Josefina teach me is already adult level!” You yell argumentatively.

“Yes, but if you're going to be a cleric when you're older you need to be the best you can be.” Sister Mara’s already about to lose her patients, unfortunately though, you just lost yours.

“I don't even want these lessons! I don't wanna be some stupid bible thumping cleric and you know it! I only ever took these lessons in the first place because you forced me into it and grandmama was too much of a doormat to tell you off!” Sister Mara’s blood is boiling now, but then again, so is yours.

“So what?” She snaps viciously at you, “you want to go run off and join a guild right? Just like your precious mother?” Spits sister Mara.

You clench your fists so hard your knuckles turn white and you're pretty sure you're nails are gonna draw blood from your palms soon. “Don't you dare talk about her! Stop acting like you know what's best for me, you're just an old hag with a bad temper, you're not my mother so stop acting like it!” You scream.

“Stop acting like your mother? Your mother was a stupid girl who chased foolish dreams and got knocked up at nineteen by a man who didn't even stick around the next day!” Yells sister Mara viciously.

Your eyes widen with tears you refuse to let fall and a lump forms in your throat, “S-shut up— y-you're nothing but a liar,” you yell, voice cracking.

“Your mother was a reckless fool who left you alone in the care of your grandmother for weeks at a time while she went off on reckless adventures!”

You grit your teeth so hard your jaw hurts, “shut up.” Tears are streaming from your eyes and your breathing is ragged but your voice holds so much rage.

“Your mother was a whore who started fancying demons the second your father left her!”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!” You scream as you cover your ears futilely.

“Your mother was a stupid fool who died because she loved a demon in secret!” Screams sister Mara as the final blow.

You shove her out of the way, not caring that she nearly falls over as you throw open the door and run to your room.

“Tooru,” you call quietly before you begin sobbing into your pillow.

Your mother was certainly not as perfect as you remember her being.

As much as you would like to say sister Mara is wrong, you know there's some truth to her words; because you remember in the dead of night when you had supposed to be sleeping you crept out of bed and saw your mother whispering to a man with horns, both of them were smiling at each other. That memory was from so long ago and so foggy, but you clearly remember his horns, and the way he smiled as he looked down at her— at your mother.

You hear a frantic knock on the window, it's Tooru. You get up from your bed and open the window, still sobbing. The second he's inside you're both on the bed and he's hugging you as you cry in his arms.

“… how do you always know to come when I need you?” You ask once you've finally calmed down and separated from the hug.

“I always come when you call, (y/n)-chan,” he smiles, “plus a scrying glass is pretty useful too. I may not be able to hear what's happening though it but I sure can see it.” You let out a small huff of laughter.

“Tooru-kun… what if we ran away together?” You ask, Tooru stays silent but is clearly listening as he looks at you with wide eyes, “you don't want to be a king and I don't want to be a cleric, so let's run away!”

“Really?” Tooru asks.

“Yes, if either of us become what they want us to then we'll never get to see each other again, and I told you that you would never have to be alone again, so let's run away.”

Tooru grins, “let's do it.” Tooru's ecstatic, finally he'll be free of his father. It had been sprinkling with rain outside as Tooru waited for you to open the window, and he feels pretty wet, but he doesn't care, any other day he would, any other day he would be making sure no one was nearby, making sure no one was approaching the door to your room and listening in, but right now he was too distracted.

“Alright then, tomorrow we'll tell Iwa-chan and leave him with a communication orb and we'll keep one for ourselves. Then we'll gather up whatever we need and we'll leave together a few hours before the sun rises, deal?” You ask but Tooru doesn't get to respond because before either of you know what's happening the door is slammed open and there are several hands trying to grab you.

“I will not allow (y/n) to become the whore of a demon, like her mother!” Roars sister Mara.

“Tooru-kun! Go for the window, run!” You yell panicking. Tooru jumps off the bed and dashes towards the window, you follow too the hand of a nun catches your shirt, then another catches your wrist and another grabs you by the hair.

You struggle and scream and kick trying to get loose but to no avail.

“(Y/n)-chan!” Tooru yells, about to go back to help you.

“Run Tooru, please! I'll be fine, just go! They'll do much worse to you if they catch you, leave!” You yell as tears slip down your cheeks and more nuns advance upon him.

They're too many nuns for Tooru to fend off, so he swallows his pride and turns his back on you as he dives out the window. If only Tooru could've used his materialization magic to escape with you, but that just not how it works. It impossible to materialize under large amounts of stress, as in order to use materialization magic you must be calm.

Tooru spends the night walking home with a tear stained face. Even once he's home and in his warm bed he feels anything but warm.

He’s failed you, and he hates himself for it.

~

The following day Tooru is still too stressed to materialize, so he walks to the forest behind the church— he arrives four and a half hours later. Immediately he gets set on searching, looking for a certain thing that will serve as— hopefully— a worthy apology. The sun is hot, his back is sweating and the canopy isn't helping out much but it's okay, because Tooru finds what he's looking for.

They're all over the field and he wishes you could see it. Tooru picks a bouquet of them, I holds one up to his face and studies it, it has a thin herbaceous stem and two large leaves growing near the base and a raceme of what looks like 11 small, white, bell-shaped flowers, they also have a wonderfully sweet scent.

They're just the flowers he's looking for, May bells.

Tooru waits till night falls and is about to knock on the window so you can let him in, his heart is beating fast, what did the nuns do to you as punishment? You look fine but surely they did something? Tooru realizes he's losing his nerves in time and stops himself from singeing the May bells anymore.

Now the flowers are slightly singed at the tips, but they're fine.

“I wouldn't knock on that window if I were you, boy.” Spits a sharp and threatening voice.

Tooru places the bouquet on your windowsill and swallows thickly before turning to face the voice, the woman who's been the bane of your existence since day one, sister Mara.

“I will not have (y/n) becoming like her mother. Her mother died because she fell in love with a demon, and I won't allow (y/n) to do the same. You speak to her again and sooner than later she will end up just like her mother… violated and dead, buried in an unmarked grave who knows where.”

Tooru stands there silent and shaken to the core. He had always been so happy and thrilled to finally have friends for the longest time that he never stopped to consider what a danger he is to them.

“Do you want that to happen to her too?” Sister Mara asks.

The air is silent without even a cricket to fill the gaps. There is no wind tonight.

The sound of Tooru drawing in breath can be heard, “no.”

“Then forget you ever met (l/n) (y/n), because with a little bit of holy prayers, she has already forgotten about you.”

Tooru's throat constricts and her turns and walks away, no emotion on his face but tears cascading down his cheeks.

It's for the best, right?