Life isn't easy you get to know the moment when you lose someone and when that someone was one of the closest who you trusted yourself with. I miss her every day. There are times I would wake up in the middle of the night and pray it was all a nightmare but reality dawns yet again. Typing this update I found it hard to pen without thinking about you didu. It was you who was my inspiration today without you this place, this penning seems empty and I have no one to look up to! I want you yet I can't reach you --Why it is so hard? I Love you wherever you are Savi didu !!

Today on this particular Friendship day I miss three of them more ..Wherever my angels are I wish you all are happy. To My jaans who kept checking on me time to time thank you . I love you meri jaans to an extent of scared of losing you people. Friendshi[ Day Jaans 

I am not sure what I have penned excuse if it is a crap!

Chapter 25

Was the silver lining even existing right now ? All he saw was darkness engulfing him as he saw the hurt flashing in her orbs . How could she even think that he would cheat on her? Was it all their relationship had come so far, where there was no trust?

She saw it again as she stopped wriggling in his arms and looked into his –it flashed something akin to what she was feeling right . Hurt , Has she interpreted the situation wrong? this wasn't what she was here in the first place – She was here to talk!

Life was playing tricks again with him . He just wanted to embrace her right now tightly and never let her go but can he keep her against her will? and importantly when she doesn't have trust on him?

"Why did you do this to Us --Titli? "

She hears him utter a few words before removing his arms around her . There it was there again the feeling of something slipping away from her hands . He was near yet far . As she saw him walk away leaving her right in the middle of the pouring rain she could hear her heart breaking a little more than it was already . Her lips twitches upwards slightly despite the aching in her heart seeing him stop just a few feet away without leaving her all alone . She gathers herself despite her body shivering in the drenching rain she walks up to him and stops right behind just inches away. Just as her warmth touches his back Omkara takes a few steps forward as she lets out a deep sigh despite the tears streaming down seeing his indifference! What was wrong with her? She is the one who is pushing him away yet needs him beside her ! but what was about what she saw in his cabin just a few minutes ago? Is she living in an illusion?

By the time they reached their apartment and Omkara strides inside the flat without waiting for her leaving her in the threshold. Gauri brushes of the stubborn tears seeing his not-caring attitude. The ride to their place had made her put two and two pieces together and make her understand her husband wouldn't cheat on her yet the wife in her wasn't convinced . She wanted to hear from him but could she walk up to him and ask? . Svetlana was a b*ch! and that is no blind fact yet what was it she saw with her own eyes?

The hot shower soothed him as he washed away his pain but was it that easy? who was he kidding? it wasn't , not when she was standing in front of him with a tear-stricken face and her clothes clinging to her like a second skin.

Omkara ignores her while pulling a t-shirt from the closet . She was getting angry right now , Gauri pulls the t-shirt from his hand , he stops giving her a glare as he lets out of the t-shirt dumping it on her hand as he pulls out another but Gauri snatches it to . Not in a mood to fight with her Omkara walks towards the bed as she watches his move intently, her heart sinks more seeing him grabbing a pillow and walking towards the couch . Whatever the problems which rose they had never slept apart then why today? was it really ending?

Omkara knew he was hurting her more than she was but he was in too much pain to care about hers . Leaving all apart of her reasons of wanting to divorce him , She misunderstood that he was cheating on her , how could she? when he hadn't even given her a reason to think so? Has he even showed his rights on her? then why?

"Come to bed" Gauri tells in a raised voice walking up towards him . She couldn't bear the fact of being away from him during the night .

Omkara ignores her while turning around and giving his back to her . The couch barely fitted his body .

"Omkara – You'll have a back pain – come to bed!" She says concerned

"Why do you even care Gauri? it is not like you gonna be there always – I need to take care of myself –so please!!" He tells calmly yet with anger and hurt lacing in his tone.

It was as if realization struck upon her . She wouldn't be there after today with him . She was going to talk and clear the misunderstanding but it was all ruined by that bitch . She just acted her mind . Now when thinking back to what she had done she felt ashamed she just ran away just like seeing him with another woman? Gauri could easily understand his emotions . He was angry and upset with her right now that she didn't trust him . She trusts him but how could she stop the wife in her?

"Omkara " She calls out to him softly while sliding on the floor beside him . She holds him by his forearm and turns him around to face her .She looks at him with her glassy eyes as he doesn't even bother to look at her . He places the back of his elbow on his eyes. She places her head on his chest .

The water droplets flows from her hairs to his bare chest as her face comes intact with his bare skin . The wetness from her hair and her dress instantly making him wanting to yell at her , asking her to change before she catches cold but he was too stubborn this time to come down when he wasn't at fault . Hell he was ready to apologize even he'd made a mistake but no she was being too hot-headed to ask him for divorce without a remorse that his soul would be aching as if someone was snatching something precious away from him .

"I am sorry" She chokes out while running her fingers on his chest "I was coming to talk to you – I don't know what happens to me when it comes to you –I always end up making decisions in rush thinking that it is what you want but –a voice inside me screams to ask you once and I thought to risk it –talk to you but" She stops as tears fall freely touching his abdomen as Omkara gulps audibly still not removing his elbow from his eyes or neither stopping her .

"When I saw you with that Bitch –I don't know what came over me and I "Suddenly her voice gets angry as she rubs off her angry tears . Omkara waits to hear her complete but he removes his elbow slowly looking down at her . He could only see her hairs which had covered her face as she wasn't facing him . He could feel her clenching her fist while hitting it on his abdomen .

"Why did you let her Kiss you? "Gauri yells while hitting onto his chest jealousy taking over her .

"What do you mean by why?" Omkara yells now pushing her aside while sitting up as she sat on the floor .

She looks at him shocked by his anger , Omkara continues "Wait –Why do I even need to tell you what actually happened? Even if she had kissed me why would it affect you Gauri anyways?" He spats back

"I am your wife!" Gauri replies back angrily

"Wait –Wife?" He lets out a humorless laugh "Wasn't it you who wanted to go away leaving that position just few hours back? then you have no right to accuse or question me!"

"Omkara, please" She whispers hurt hearing his taunts. He was right

"Tell me Gauri –wasn't it you who wanted to leave me?"

"I wanted to but—"

Omkara cuts her off "You wanted to Gauri-not once you thought it was important to talk to me before taking this decision!"

"I came to talk to you" She tells hurriedly

"Stop! – You always do this Gauri –assume things and –" he pauses shaking his head he says sighing softly "I agree Titli – I repent that I did wrong with you in the beginning but I am trying to change Titli ..I thought you were happy with me and you lo—"he stops abruptly as she raises her wet eyelashes looking at him . She was sitting on the floor facing him . She blinks back her tears seeing his eyes turning glassy .

"I could bear everything Titli but not the accusing look which you gave me –You know I wouldn't cheat still"

"Omkara --- I wasn't—" Gauri tries to take hold of his palm to explain that jealousy overtook her but he pushes her hands away making her swallow the lump which had formed .

"Let's just not talk about it—I am giving up –each time we make progress something comes up and we are back to square one –this isn't how It works Gauri!"

Gauri takes a deep breath as she looks into his eyes which were mirroring hers "You'll have what you asked for in your hands tomorrow morning" His voice comes out in a hoarse whisper as time stands still for both them .

He stands on his feet and walks towards the closet to grab a t-shirt . wearing it he settles back on the couch as he closes his eyes . Gauri leans onto the couch as she closes her eyes letting the tears stream down .

"Change you might catch cold"

Her lips twitches in a sad smile as she sees him his eyes were shut . He was still caring . Why can't she just have him to herself?" . She places her head on his chest yet again not even bothered to change her wet clothes . He feels anger radiating through his entire body seeing her not even making a move to change her wet clothes . He hated the fact that he couldn't show how worried he was that she would fall sick.

At the middle of the night Omkara feels her shivering and murmuring continuously .She had fallen asleep but he couldn't not when she refused to get her wet clothes changed . He places his palm on her forehead to find her burning up .

"Shit!"

Omkara holds her head softly while placing it on the couch and sitting up . Seeing the tear stains on her face he feels like chiding himself for giving her pain .

"Gauri—Titli ­– Utho (wake up) " he pats her face worriedly as she lights stirs while mumbling "cold"

Omkara feels as if to pull his hairs frustrated with the fact that he was the cause behind her state . Omkara carries her in his arms but stops seeing blood stains on the floor . He closes his eyes sighing having an idea what it would be . Seeing her snuggling up close to his neck trying to seek for warmth he feels bad as she groans out in pain holding her lower abdomen . Sighing Omkara places her on the wooden chair as she wraps her hands around her body trying to seek warmth .

Omkara walks into the washroom drawing her a hot bath . He walks out to see her groaning in pain while shivering .

"Titli" Omkara pats her cheeks lovingly making her groan while opening her eyes slowly in half consciousness .

"You need to take a hot shower meri jaan –Go have a shower I'll be right outside the washroom"

"I want to sleep Omkara" She mumbles while closing her eyes

"Meri jaan –You need a hot shower badly –I promise once you have I'll let you sleep" Omkara pulls her up with him while carrying her in his arms . He places her on her feet as she leans on to him .

"Meri jaan " Omkara calls her lovingly while washing her face to get her rid of the sleepiness .

"hmmm—Omkara" She groans annoyed now fully awake

"Have a shower - Titli—I'll be out"

He walks out and locks the door from outside and walks up to her closet . Grabbing her a t-shirt and pajama , He scratches his neck embarrassed wondering whether he has to but giving up he pulls out her drawers and grabs her things which she would need to wear inside and a packet of pads and a towel .

He places her clothes on the bed and sees the floor with bloodstains . He goes to the guest room and walks into their room with a bucket of water in hand . He splashes water on the floor which had stains and cleans it off completely . Once done he turns around and takes steps towards the washroom and knocks the door softly to check whether she is done "Titli- are you done?" He asks softly

"I am" He hears her tired voice . Knowing that she wouldn't step out he says "Your clothes are here I am going down !" Saying he walks out and smiles hearing the clicking opening of the door . He closes the room door and walks down to the kitchen to get her a hot water bag .

Gauri peeks her head to check whether he is gone despite her whole body aching , the headache ,and fatigue due to the fever she feels embarrassed knowing that he saw her in that state . Tears poll up her eyes as she gets dressed with the clothes he had placed on the bed . She had actually seen the bloodstains once she had stepped into the bathtub and knowing it was the main reason he had wanted her to take a hot shower made her blush embarrassed .

Omkara googles up "Home remedies to reduce menstrual pain", He scratches his head seeing the list it was showing not knowing what was good for her he slams his foot irritated not finding anything in the kitchen which the article suggest . Giving up he dials his mother.

"Om—is everything fine? Why are you calling in the midnight? "

"Hmmm mom – "he stammers

Jhanvi sits up on the bed now fully awake unlike her husband who slept like he was half dead .

"What it is Om?"

"Hmm Mom—"

"What?" Jhanvi asks annoyed

"What is good to have during that time?" He asks embarrassed

"Which time?" Jhanvi asks suspiciously

"That time –Mom—understand"

"Which time Omkara?" Jhanvi asks irritated but a light flickers in her mind as she asks happily "Is Gauri pregnant?"

"What—No !' Omkara almost shouts with his jaws hung open . We aren't even involved in the process of making babies Mom!

"Then?" Jhanvi asks now annoyed to hell that he spoiled her sleep

"Hmmm what do women calling it – that time of the month Mom" He says finally

A small smile appears on her lips seeing her son trying to help Gauri out . "Ginger or Fenugreek seeds are good Omkara –it helps to reduce cramps "

"Thank you Mom" He says smiling "And now you can go back to yourself beauty sleep!"

"So that you can tend to your wife?" Jhanvi asks in fake anger and chuckles hearing Omkara's groan.

Omkara searches for ginger but unable to find where she had placed he comes across fenugreek seeds taking a spoon of seeds he washes it lightly with water and puts the seed in glass while adding a little water to it . Taking the hot water back and the glass he walks up towards their room.

Omkara pushes the door open and sees her withering in pain while trying to hold back her tears in the bed . Seeing her in the state he feels a squeeze in his heart . Sitting right next to her he calls her out .

"Titli –Utho" Gauri shakes her head with glassy tears . The headache and the sore throat combined with the monthly pain wasn't helping her in any way .

"Meri jaan –come on—have this –you'll feel better" He pulls her up letting her body lean onto his chest .

He holds the glass of fenugreek seeds near her lips she looks up with her blurry eyes questioning him despite the fatigue she was feeling "It is good for your health –have them" He says lovingly while patting her head softly as she drinks . She holds his t-shirt in her fist

"Cold" She mumbles while rubbing her cheeks in his chest and groans continuously in pain .

The first few days are always worse for her always it came with heavy bleeding and accompanied by pain which felt as if some had sucked the life out of her .

Omkara takes meds which would help her with her headache and makes her gulp them . He places her softly on the bed as she groans and covers her with a heavy blanket. Taking balm he applies it on her throat knowing she is having a throat pain . He pulls her up slightly and places the hot water bag on her back as he is instantly reminded Google mentioned women might have back pains during this time . Omkara then decides where to sleep Couch or bed ? . He gets up but she holds his palm while half consciously murmuring "Stay"

He lies on his side not touching her or either holding her palm. He was hurt to an extent to even think they had chances of reconciliation. Omkara could feel her tremble and groan withering in pain both the fever and the monthly was taking a toll on her . Seeing her in pain he closes his eyes .

"Sleep Omkara" He mumbles to himself . Minute by minute he feels her shivering .

"F*ck everything! I can't even see you like this!" He groans as he moves closer and pulls her in his arms . She snuggles up closer to him but still trembles and shivers.

"Ahhh" She groans while placing her palm on the abdomen. The pain had reduced with the help of fenugreek but not fully to an extent she could get a peaceful sleep . Omkara closes his eyes sighing not knowing what to do he gets rid of his t-shirt and pulls her into his naked chest . He pulls her t-shirt up a little while taking the hot water bag out and placing it down in the bed . He massages her abdomen with his palm . He had noted the point that a good massage would help reduce cramps . He massages her softly not wanting her to be uncomfortable with his touch . She moans in pleasure as the pain reduces a bit while snuggling closer to his body seeking for warmth while pressing her entire body into his .

Omkara places a soft kiss on her forehead as his lips twitches in a sad smile . When she gets back to her senses she is gonna freak out seeing their position . She was clung to his body like a second skin .

"Will I be able to get close to you again Titli?" He asks sadly while running his fingers through her hair .

He smiles sadly while enveloping her fully in his arms and pulling the blanket up to her neck . Her scowl had disappeared instead a small smile was playing in her lips . She had stopped withering in pain maybe the magic of her man's hands.

The moon shied away behind the clouds leaving the lovebirds to themselves. the pouring of the rain continued as it echoed through the entire city and somewhere a drop of petrichor enveloped the environment making the moon smile.

***

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It's been long I wrote so please drop a word

I am not sure if anyone found the content uncomfortable I feel there is nothing to be embarrassed about it at least not in front of a husband. A man should know how to help out his wife during such times!