You can always say sorry, But the real apology is when you hear the sadness in their voice and see the look in their eyes. And you realize that they have hurt themselves just as much...
                            - Kid Cudi

           Some mornings doesn't bring a freshness feeling along with it. Some mornings are gloomy and dull even the sun rays won't shine your windows panes, it just cast a gloomy shade into your room just like this morning. It showed past seven on the digital clock on the wall outside the observation room and the grey morning made it look like a coloured portion of numbers in a black and white movie, they didn't match at all.

       Avi sat on a cold metallic chair near the observation room where they were still observing Vinny.
The events after he found Vinny crying in pain were blurred images in his memory but the horror he felt all the time still lingered in his heart. They had reached hospital within twenty minutes. Since it was early morning, there wasn't any traffic on the streets but still Avi was sure he had jumped on more than one red light on their way to hospital.

    The seriousness of the situation finally weighed him down after they took her inside and Avi was left behind with a mixture of emotions which kept him alert and scared for a long time.

Avi had never felt this much exhausted till this day. He was used to working for hours, but the emotional wreck that he was now , was something that was new to him altogether.

He was drained both physically and emotionally. All the travel and a sleepless night made him look rugged and the emotional state was something unexplainable.

How he was going to deal with Vinny , that bugged him.... there's no way he could go back in time and change what he had said to her. All he could wish was that Vinny would spare him a few minutes so that he could apologize , which was the only thing left to do and Avi wasn't sure that it's going to work and a mere apology would be enough for the heartache he had caused to Vinny. He was mulling over again when a nursing staff asked him to meet Dr. Sritha, Vinny's doctor on her cabin.

They didn't give him any information about Vinny and her baby except that they are stable and out of danger,  for the past two hours.
As he walked down to the corridor, he felt his heartbeat going wayward and an uneasy feeling settled in his stomach.
He was nervous and anxious like a kid summoned by his teacher to the office , without any prior knowledge what was happening.

Doctor smiled at him sensing the tension in his posture.

' Mr. Rao or can I call you Avinesh? Doctor Sritha asked him softly.

It's Okay ma'am, call me Avinesh. He nodded in agreement as he settled on his chair.

' Okay Avinesh, your baby and wife are safe.
Bleeding has stopped and Vinny is stable. If things are good you can take her home by today evening itself. '

Releif washed over him and he let out a  breath that he was holding unknowingly. At least they are safe , even when their  relationship was going through a rough patch, this news brought a little smile on his rugged and tired face.

' Thank you doctor. Is everything really okay with her? Is there anything else that I need to know?'
Avi wanted to make sure , he did not want to miss anything about Vinny's health. The scare from last night was still fresh in his mind, he wanted to make sure nothing is there to worry.

Doctor smiled affably despite of the subtle frown looming on her features.

' See... I told you about her low lying placenta and how you guys should be careful. It is still lying low and that's causing this bleeding. Since it's not heavy or uncontrollable bleeding, it's okay but you need to take care of your wife a bit more. Let her take more rest and make her eat healthy food..and if any symptoms like this happen again, come here immediately. That's all for now...' she said while thinking something else. After a little pause , doctor leaned on her chair , studying Avi closely.

' Can I ask you something Avinesh?
Did you guys fight about something last night.
Vinny's blood pressure was high and I don't think she had eaten anything last day because she was so weak..'

Avi squirmed under her gaze uncomfortably. They had a real argument last night and he suspected that somehow that lead to this emergency situation.
Avi nodded in response without meeting her gaze right out.

Doctor Sritha dislodged her glasses perched on her nose and rubbed her eyes with the pad of her right thumb.

' I thought so... Avinesh, I am sorry to interfere with your personal issues, but Vinny is my patient.
She is so young and she really needs you.  I am sure you really love your wife , but don't forget that there's a life inside her and she really needs your support now.

Everyone live with their problems, have arguments and misunderstanding, but in the end of the day, it's your family.
Your wife , your baby, both of them needs you.
I am not putting any pressure on you..but Vinny really needs you so is the baby. Don't stress her out and always think about your baby.  Those frustrations and emotions are really affecting your baby too. I want you both to sort out whatever you are dealing with and be happy. Keep her happy Avinesh, that's what matters in the end... right?

Avi listened to her soothing voice, he was reminded of his mom for a second. Over the years , he had forgotten how she used to sound, but sitting there, listening to the doctor reminded him of her. For a lot of reasons, he wanted to talk to his mother. He wanted someone to tell him that he will make it up with Vinny because losing her , meant the end of the world for him.

' We will sort it out doctor, thanks for your concern and sorry for making you worry...'
She smiled lightly.

' That's alright. You can meet her now... take care of her and yourself too. I will see you in the evening and then let's see how she's by then'
Doctor Sritha nodded as Avi thanked her and walked out of her cabin.

          Avi stepped into the observation room half-heartedly. He wasn't sure how to face her, how to tell her that how sorry he was. Vinny was sleeping in the hospital bed quietly. He felt relieved seeing her asleep, relaxed into the bolster of pillows and covered in white sheet.
  Avi wasn't ready to face her...not yet anyway.
As he sat down on the chair , near her bed, he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and smiled a little.
The room was quiet and still that a heavy breath sounded like an echo in the room.
Vinny's hand was connected with an IV drip, probably for her weakness and she looked relaxed in her sleep.
Avi stayed in silence for sometime, unsure what to do.

After contemplating for sometime, he took her left hand in his palm and kept it in his , trying to reassure himself that she won't leave him.
He had a lot to tell her but the words suddenly abandoned him... leaving him wonder how he was going to apologise to her.

He sighed exasperatedly and looked at her slightly big waist line, which made him to think of an unborn child... Vinny's baby.  

There's a life inside her...  The doctor's voice ringed inside his ears.
For the first time , he thought about a baby who is as real as himself and Vinny.

It had never occurred to him before that the baby is his responsibility too. He always considered Vinny as his responsibility, not the baby.
He didn't feel any attachment towards the baby but as he sat down there, he started realising that without the baby, there's nothing that was connecting him to Vinny.

If not for the baby, Vinny would have never married him, and for the world , it was his baby until Vinny wanted to disclose it to the world that he is not the father of her child. 
Till then, it was his baby and he felt a rush of emotion in him...he was scared yet felt a joy inside his heart.

' Hey kiddo...how are you doing?' he said gently to the baby.
It was absurd, he knew..but at that moment he felt like talking to the baby, who is not going to judge him but will listen to him no matter what and it felt easy to talk to the baby than to anyone else in the entire world.

Avi sighed a little thinking what was he doing and how the baby would have replied to his absurd questions.

' You scared the hell out of me you know... actually you both. Your mom was so upset last night, I don't know how hard it must have been for her.
Be nice to your mom kiddo!!
She loves you... Loves you a lot actually.
She is fighting every day for you, she is putting up with a fake marriage , all for your sake.

'You know that your mom is really brave and beautiful. I am sure you are going to look exactly like your mom.
So be nice to her... always.
And for me, I am still learning how to acknowledge you  and love you..
I never thought about you till now but I want to be a part of your life too. May be as a father or as a friend , you can choose..you know'

Avi grinned sheepishly thinking how fun it would be to have a kid who will be looking up to him for every single thing in his life.

It was enormous , the impact of a child in your life. Avi started picturing himself with the baby and it all made a sense of happiness and joy within him , which was difficult to explain.

He smiled a little as he considered all this in his.

'Do you think that your mom will forgive me.
I am not sure kiddo.
Saying sorry feels like incomplete, it's not like I could erase the memory from her heart.

I should not have said that , I know.
But it happened, that was so rude of me.
I am just ashamed of myself for doing this to her. Putting her in pressure, making her cry...I never wished for her tears.
I wanted to protect her from the eyes of judgement of the world...yet I failed her.
I wasn't using her for my benefits, I just wanted to help her and protect you both.
I should have told her that instead of saying things that I didn't mean to say.
How can I be so stupid! I don't know!'

His voice cracked, he was accepting himself that he had been an asshole to her.
It was embarrassing but a part of him felt the comfort it brought to him.
He wanted to let it all out and somehow this one-sided conversation helped.

He sighed heavily as he continued his conversation.

'You know what kiddo, I am so worried that your mom won't talk to me ever again. She means a lot to me and I am just beginning to realise that when everything is falling apart. I just miss her even when she is just here..you know how it feels like? It just makes me feel hollow...how am I going to make up for what I said. '

His voice cracked again, tears pricked in his eyes and it was getting difficult for him to hold them back.
So he let those salty drops fall...those silent drops rolled down through his cheeks as he kissed her arm that he was holding all this while.

As he placed her hand back on the bed gently , Vinny held his arm and squeezed it lightly for much of his dismay.

' Why  men in my life likes to cry along with me...? Just like my stupid brother..?'
Vinny said with a low chuckle as she squinted her teary eyes to see the other pair of teary eyes.
They were both crying again.

'You  were up all this while? '
he was appalled by the sudden realisation that Vinny might have heard everything he said to the baby. Suddenly he became nervous and anxious, he might have ruined everything by now, that thought just unsettled him more.

' Don't be stupid Avi...it was not like that I was in coma or something. I was up since you came, but I wasn't sure how to face you. So I just pretended that I am sleeping'
Vinny dabbed her wet cheeks with tissue paper from her side table and she smiled at him.

' Why are we like this ? Cry babies!! Seriously Avi? I am that important to you? '
She looked at him wistfully with her tear brimmed eyes.

The longingness in them was something so deep that Avi had a sudden urge to hug her and tell her how important she was for him, how sorry he was to make her cry and how  much he needed her, but he held back , because there were things to settle down between them.
An apology to ask and a forgiveness yet to given.
So instead of hugging her, he just stared deep into her dark big orbs, which was so magnetic with the pool of tears in them, in which Avi was drowning little by little in those passing seconds.

' You have no idea how much you mean to me Vinny.
I should not have said all that to you...and I don't know how to make things right. I am so sorry for hurting you Vinny...can you just forgive me, this time? It's difficult for you to forget and forgive, I was so rude and insensitive. Forgive me if possible..'
He trailed off as another set of fresh tear drops appeared in his eyes.

Vinny let out an audible gasp as she clutched his hand.

' Let us forgive eachother Avi. I hurt you too. Out of all people, I should not have judged you that too listening to my dad!! ' she frowned a little.

'I am sorry too, for all this, for hurting you, for worrying you and I heard you talking to the baby. I am going to make sure that you are close to the baby no matter what happens in the future.
Let us just forget all these... forget that we ever fought with each other, forgive whatever we said in anger. I trust you with all my heart and it's not going to change..ever!!

'Seriously why  are we  crying Avi...'
Vinny chuckled as she dabbed her eyes again.

This time Avi didn't held himself back, he just hugged her , almost crushing her into himself and she hugged him right back, letting go of each and every inhibitions she had, until all there worries and pain left their heart leaving a slightly awkward goofy people behind.

When they pulled away from each other, they smiled at eachother sheepishly like school kids and Vinny blushed profusely.

' How are you feeling now?' he asked after steadying himself after all the emotional outbreak.

'I am okay Avi. Take me home Avi...I don't want to be here..' she whined like a child and his lips stretched in a simper.

' we are going home in the evening, once your doctor says it's okay for you to go home, I will take you..' he smiled looking the way she was pouting.

'But you are supposed to rest and I am going to make sure you are getting proper rest. You are not allowed to walk around anymore and I am going to check your diet from now on. By the way I am very strict , be aware..' he said smiling imperceptibly.

Vinny groaned in response.
' What the hell!! It sounds like a concentration camp!! I am not coming  home...you go back and live alone. I like hospital. Thank you very much'

Vinny pouted again and closed her eyes , and through the sheet over her head , avoiding him like anything and Avi laughed at her.

Then they both laughed at each other.
' Let us go home Vinny... I won't make it that bad..'
He said as she peeked him through the side of the sheet.

' Yeah whatever...take me home soon...' she smiled coyly and for the first time, she felt that she has a home to return and she belonged with him...with Avi.

A big thanks to Omahazeeya for the new cover. Loved each one of them...I am planning to change the cover often now... you are ♥️
Thank you and lots of love to you