'Anger is our natural defense against pain. So when I say ‘I hate you’, it really means ‘you hurt me.’

             Krishna Reddy wanted to have this conversation with his daughter for a long time now. He had been patient throughout these past months.
Vihani had shattered his plans to make a strategic business marriage with one of the business families.
Vihani was like that, from the beginning. She never agreed with him for anything, they were polar opposite of each other.
Sometimes he wondered, why neither Varun nor Vihani was like him. They were more like their mother, Vaani.

With Vaani and kids, he always felt like an outsider, sometimes he wonder why he wasn't able to make an impact on their lives as he had hoped for.

Varun had followed his path, but still they had different ideology about how to make things work and Vihani was another story entirely. He had no clue how his daughter's mind worked.
She had been like that for a long time now and Vaani's death extended the gap between them that Vihani chose to stay away from her home for such a long time.

Then she turned up one day, and this time he was sure that finally Vihani was going to obey her dad but she had other plans and Krishna Reddy didn't like it, when his plans were spoiled or meddled by anyone albeit it's his own daughter or her new husband for that matter.
That thought riled him up and he wanted to let Vihani know that her dad is still alive and he won't let surpass the limits when it comes to business.
   
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Vihani was leaning on the backrest of the couch. She had a nagging backache nowadays, due to her pregnancy and she preferred to sit leaning on the backrest and relax her muscles whenever she sat down. However she wasn't much relaxed now, while listening to the gruff voice of her dad.

' Yes dad, I am listening..'  her voice quivered a little with trepidation.
Their conversation always ended in disagreement and she had a feeling that this one was going to be the same.

'Vihani I heard the news about you...'

'Oh' she muttered. So this was about her pregnancy and surely he hasn't called to congratulate her.

'This was your plan all along.... right Vihani?'
She felt a rush of heat on her face hearing the accusation in his tone but she wasn't quite sure what he was implying.

' What plans dad?? I didn't get you?'

' Come on Vihani, don't play games now.
I knew you were pregnant before getting married. Do you think that I would have let this marriage happen in normal circumstances? Do you? '

The bitterness in his voice made her queasy suddenly.
This revelation wasn't something she expected and millions of thoughts ran through her mind but was too scared to ask how did he know that. Her dad was continuing his rambling even when Vihani wasn't paying any heed.

' How did you know about it dad? Who told you?' finally the question rolled out of her tongue. She dreaded the answer before her dad's reply.

'Oh my ! Vihani stop acting all innocent now. We both know that your now husband told me about your pregnancy.'

'Out of all people you picked him... that rat..who just wanted to get an entry to my business and you made it happen.
How could you be this shameless?? Such a disgrace to the family!! '

She winced at his words. His words were like bullets that penetrated and shattered her fragile heart in mere seconds.

'Avinesh had the audacity to tell me that if I don't agree with the marriage proposal, there will be consequences and media might get involved. That's how he managed to get my approval.
And now your dummy brother wants to give the major share of his new project to your baby. That means Avinesh is going to get all the access to the business he wants.
This is the way you want to harm your own dad Vihani?? Answer me!!
If you and your husband are planning to get your hands on my business, my years of hard work, I won't let that happen... tell that to your husband too ' the hate in his voice was so raw that pricked her ears.

'Enough dad!! ' she almost yelled at him. Her mind was frenzy and rage filled her senses.

'I don't want anything...  not even a rupee  from you or Bhai for that matter and I never tried to get involved in your business  in  the past too.
I will talk to Avinesh and Bhai too. Don't worry about me being a harm to your business or future opportunities dad and please don't call me ever again..' her voice was firmer than she thought and she cut the call without waiting for a reply.

Her head spinned as she tried to stand up. After a few failed attempts, she slumped into the couch.

Vinny wanted to cry but tears won't come. Her chest heaved in pain and sweat beads covered her forehead. Her heart thumped so hard that she could hear it in her ears.

She wasn't expecting much from her dad but his accusation about her as a cunning manipulator was something that wrenched her heart.
A tiny part of her heart that still loved and hoped that her dad loved her just died today.
There wasn't anything remained to mend anymore. For him she was a shameful disgrace, nothing else.

And then there was Avi, who she has came to like and trust a lot.
Her dad's words ringed in her ears.
She felt betrayed by him.
He had just used her for his gain. His promise to keep her secret was gone out of the window. How she came to this? Why everyone betrayed and used her...?

She felt too stupid to trust him even after knowing that he only meant business , nothing else.

She hated herself for trusting herself with him. Then he was playing this good friend part quite convincingly.
Now, as she thought about it, that marriage proposal and it's execution, everything was Avi's plan.
She had merely agreed with him in everything he said.

The stinging sensation of betrayal and deception made her burn with anger.
She curled up on the couch thinking everything again and again until her head ached and she fell asleep waiting for Avi to come home.

    Vihani woke up with a jolt to a dim lit room and she scrambled herself to feet. As she balanced herself she noticed that it was well past seven and apparently she had slept most of the day. She looked at the dim lights in the living room and kitchen dubiously  and that's when she noticed the heap of her cashmere shawl on her feet.
The peeking light from Avi's room, confirmed that Avi was at home and he had tucked her in. Such a gesture would have melted her heart before but not today.

She waited for him in the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee. Moonlight was spilling through the window glasses of the kitchen.
Vinny took a sip of her hot coffee studying her pale reflection on the glass. She looked drained and wrecked , exactly how she was feeling inside.

'Hey Vinny , you are up already..?'
Avi was standing near the door way, wearing his sweat pants and a black t shirt,  his hair wet from the shower, eyes a bit tired from all the traveling but still somehow managed to warm her with a gaze.
She didn't reply anything for a second.
She stood there , turning her head towards him tight lipped. 

'How are you Vinny? You look so pale?"
Avi was missing her whole day and he intended to say so till he saw her pale face which exactly looked like the girl he met outside the Reddy's house, months ago.
They were standing close but still it felt like there was a wall in between them and it was disquieting.

He took a few steps towards her and faced her.

' What is wrong Vinny?'
She took a long drag of air before answering and placed her empty cup on top of the kitchen table.

'Dad called me '
There was a shift in his stance suddenly and Vinny felt a clutch in her heart.

Avi shifted his gaze from her to the coffee pot. He poured himself a cup from the pot and avoided her gaze.

' What did he say?' he asked faintly even though he was sure about the context.
His shoulders stiffened as he waited for her reply.

' He told me all about your dirty tricks Avi... Why did you do that to me?
Why did you tell dad about my pregnancy?'
Her voice thick and unsteady with all the emotions and her eyes were ablaze with fury.

'Dirty tricks? What did you mean by that Vinny?' he put his mug down and turned towards her.

'You want me to explain now. I can't believe this' she cracked a humourless chuckle.

'Please explain Vinny, because as far as I know, whatever I did was to protect you..' his tone was defensive and he wholeheartedly hated the way their conversation was proceeding.

'Protect me? That's ridiculous Avi.
You promised me that you won't use me. You promised me!! Then you went ahead and threatened dad with that to get his permission. Why did you do that?? Anger laced her every single word.

'I trusted you Avi..and you just betrayed me..' there were unshed tears in her eyes and she crossed her arms over her chest , trying to steady herself.

' It's not that like that Vinny. Did you really think that your dad just agreed with me for the proposal. I had no other choice than bringing it up. I didn't use you Vinny..believe me '
He was pleading. Avi never wanted her to think of him as someone who used her and broke her trust but he was responsible for this outlash, and he worried how he was going to deal with it.

' My dad didn't agree with the proposal, so you dangled me and my pregnancy as a carrot Infront of him. You used me Avi....
We could have dropped all this plan. I didn't get married to you so that dad could see me as a total disgrace and shame to the family. ' her voice cracked as she recalled her conversation with her dad.

'You are getting it all wrong Vinny..'
He said in a low voice and he felt defeated. No matter how much he wanted to convince her, she wasn't ready to accept it. At least not now.

' No... I think I am getting it alright now.
I should have seen it coming when you told me that you do business for a living.
You did all this because you wanted to get into Reddy's, for money, for power...dad was right and I made it all happen!!! Wow'

She flushed in anger and her eyes welled up. She had trusted him and even came to like him a lot and he made a joke out of her.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she tried to stay steady before her legs giveaway.

Avi looked at her in shock. She was looking at him disdainfully and he felt a surge of anger washing through him.

Vinny had accused him something he won't ever do with her. His concerns and kindness had landed him in a ditch of lies.

He hadn't wished anything from her, not money not power. Whatever he had said and done was to help her , protect her and she accused him as a betrayer.

His pride was hurt , his emotions were stomped over, he regretted everything he did for her.

' If  you don't want to understand me, believe in whatever you want Vinny.
Yes I did everything for getting my hands on Reddy's.
What was I thinking anyway...
Someone like you will never get it..'
He said tersely...his shoulder straight and he looked askance at her .

'Someone like me? What do you mean by that? '

' Someone like you , who was a coward throughout her life, someone who dumped every problem into someone else and ran , someone who had no shame to sleep around and land herself with a baby.. '
Avi stopped in mid sentence realising a bit later what he had blurted out and the damage was done before he could stop it.

Silence fell over between them, as tangible as an ice wall.  They mirrored each other, both were broken, said things that should not be said, they had choked each other in anger.
His eyes welled up and she cried.

' I hate you...' she muttered as she turned on her heels and walked away with slumped shoulders and trudged feets leaving Avi in the kitchen to die in his misery.

         
         It was three in the morning and Avi was was wide awake even after a tiring day and even more tiring confrontation.
He was stalled on the sofa near Vinny's room. Her muffled cries were subsided in the past few hours and Avi had no idea what to do anymore.
He was ashamed of himself. In his twenty eight years of life, he had never felt like this before.
Avi had always thinked twice before he said anything, he had never been this reckless and rude to someone in his life.

Avi had came home to see her smiling face and god knows how he had missed her whole day. Varun had been so happy to know about the baby and he had even suggested to transfer his shares to Avi, which he had declined then and there. Avi had told him that there's no need for such things and if he still wants to do that transfer them to Vinny and her baby. He was sure it will be helpful for her in the future.

But the events of the day had tore them apart into pieces. He was guilty about his behaviour. If there was a way to go back in time and change what he had said he would pay his life for that.

But what he had said and done was irreversible, he had killed her with his words, his unbridled anger had strained and scarred her forever.
Avi sat there, perched himself on the sofa , his head stooped low in shame and anguish, fearing how to face Vinny after what he had said to her, which wasn't something he wanted to say to her in a million years.

         Avi jerked awake from his light stupor hearing something like a cry.
He felt disoriented as he stood up and forced himself to concentrate.
Then he heard it again, it was Vinny.
Avi ran to her door and stepped into the dim lit room  reluctantly.
Vinny was standing almost near the door, one hand on her hip and other clutching the front of her night gown which covered the slight swell of her belly.

Before her eyes could focus, pain jolted through her and another cry raised from her.

'What happened Vinny?' fear ran through his pain as her eyes met his in pain.

'My baby Avi...' she muffled as she pressed her head into his chest.
It took him a second to comprehend what she said . As he trailed downward, his eyes wandered to the thin strain of blood on the floor and panic erupted in his heart as he wrapped his arms around her.