I didn't walk away from you,
I dragged myself away from you.
Then, I picked up my feelings
  and ran from you.
                 -Pierre jeanty

             It was raining outside when she stepped out of the meeting room. Sky was pitch black and gloomy and it was drenching earth passionately.  Lightning flashed the sky and thunder boomed across the area. She clutched her backpack close and stood there chewing her lower lip.

It was past nine and her phone was dead. They were busy preparing everything for the annual event of Smile Foundation, an NGO which promoted quality education for under privileged children in Mangalore.

Vinny started volunteering there after her mom's death. Being with those kids and teaching them , brought her so much joy that she felt close to her mom somehow. It was a big day tomorrow, the kids and the faculty were going to meet there benefactors and this event held the key for those kids bright future. She came there right after her college , everything was so busy that she lost the track of time. Now it was late and the rain seemed persistent about keeping her there for another hour.

' Hey Vihani? Do you want me to drop you home? It's raining cats and dogs here ' Lokesh, one of the staff member asked her smiling affably . He was short and stout guy with a square chin and kind eyes.

She knew him for a long time now that it didn't took her more than a minute to accept his offer. After twenty minutes drive , he dropped her Infront of her apartment that she shared with her friend Kriti, who was visiting her parents in Bangalore today.

She fished the keys out of her backpack. It was still heavily raining and she was shivering in cold.

' Oh... finally you got home ' the gruff voice came from her side made her jump a little.

' Rishi? What are you doing here?' she squinted her eyes to get a look on the guy who was standing there, leaning on the wall.

' You didn't get enough time to see me or talk to me, so I decided to pay you a visit..' his voice was gruff but slurred in the end.

' Rishi , I told you that tomorrow is a big day for the kids in the NGO and I was there till now. I couldn't come to your office party, I am sorry..and there will be more parties anyway. Don't make this an issue' she said softly , her eyes pleading.

' But you also told me that you would try to come to the party. You didn't show up at all and didn't took my calls either..' he walked closer to her , his tone full of accuses.

' I am sorry Rishi. My phone was dead and I was really busy. Come inside , it is really cold..' she opened the door and stepped inside and turned on the lights.

' Ha.. yeah you were busy , I saw that. You came with that Lokesh right? Who knows what happens there in your NGO?' he let out a humourless chuckle.

Rishi had been possessive about her all along, but sometimes he made uncomfortable , just like now.

' Rishi I told you before too, he is just a friend, a good one. Don't read into things , when you don't know anything' she said placing her bag on the table and turning towards him.

Rishi was still in his office clothes, his hair disheveled, eyes blood shot red.

' Yeah I don't know anything, you keep your contacts hidden , but you like to hangout with a bunch of idiots..' he slurred again.

' Are you drunk Rishi?' she crossed her arms Infront of  her chest. Rishi doesn't drink unless in parties, but when he did he scared her.

'Yes I am, because my so called girlfriend is busy with other men and don't have time for me...'

' Stop it Rishi and just leave. I told you before too. I don't want to talk to you when you are drunk. I have to wake up early too. Just leave..' she pressed her last sentence , hoping he would just leave without troubling her and Kriti wasn't there either. 

' Why should I leave? I came to see you and all you have to say to me is just leave...  Why that Lokesh is coming back or what?' he rolled his shirt sleeves and walked towards her.

' Stop talking bullshit Rishi....  you are drunk , we will talk tomorrow, please leave now...' she moved back as he proceeded towards her. He wasn't in his right mind , she knew that. Rishi was the charming nice guy when he was sober, but alcohol made him like this , mean.

' If I didn't go what will you do? Call Lokesh? You probably would do that' he thundered as he walked towards her.

His broad frame used to calm her down, made her feel safe,  she never thought that the day would come that the same thing would scare her.

'I said leave Rishi..' she pointed her finger to the door and shivered more out of fear. It was visible that her words were riling him up and he could harm her, and she shuddered at that thought.

He lunged towards her and shoved her with considerable strength. She flied backwards and banged her head on the wall and sliped to the floor. She screamed more out of utter shock than the pain. The thunderstorm outside just swallowed her cry without leaving any trace.
Blood trickled down from her forehead, blurring her vision.

It all happened in a second before she could register what happened. Her scream sobered him up a bit, he looked at her in confusion and she screamed at him again to leave her alone.

The shock stayed with her long after he left , long after she cleaned her wound, long after the incident that she was in a daze the next day while she attended the event. Avi met her that day, they talked too but she was too busy licking her wound, she didn't recognise him.

That evening, after the event, Rishi came to see her.
He apologized profusely, cried like a baby and promised her that it won't happen ever again. She believed him like she always did, because she loved him. Little did she know  that it was just the beginning.....!!

        * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    Vinny jerked awake from her slumber. Sweat beads covered her brow and nape. Her heart was hammering against her ribs , it took her a few moments to conclude that it was a dream, it was over, she was out of it. Still the memory scared her, the skin on her back tingled along with unwanted memories. Vinny got out of the couch where she was sleeping.

Vinny rubbed her belly thinking she might have scared her baby.
She has been getting the butterfly movement of her baby for the past two weeks. She had seen the movement of the baby during her scan last week. She was twenty five weeks pregnant now and the baby was doing fine.

Avi was  so ectastic about it that Dr. Sritha had let him see the movement of the baby.
Avi had tears in his eyes... literally. The beatific smile on his face , filled with wonder...Vinny wanted to cherish that moment for the rest of her life. They were an odd couple, married but in an unconventional way.  Avi has nothing to do with the baby but still he was there with such a joy that nobody could say that he hasn't fathered her child.

Vinny was still struggling with her feelings for him, but moments like that reassured her that  the best thing she could ever give to her baby is Avi.

Just like that, the thought of him eased her, her  pulse became normal and breathing steady.  she was about to get up when Lakshmi stepped into the study.

' You are up Didi..? I was about to leave. Sir just called me when you didn't pick up his call. He said he will be back in an hour or so and asked me to make sure that you are up and you finished this too..' Lakshmi pointed towards the glass in her hand.

' You and your sir are alike Lakshmi... CCTV cameras....thank you' Vinny replied with a simper as she took the sweat beaded chilly glass in her hand.
She drank the cool fruit smoothie, grateful as it chilled her parched throat. 

' This is nice Lakshmi. Where did you get the recipe? It's strawberry right?' she licked her lips and took another sip of the drink.

' Sir gave the recipe book yesterday. And yes it's strawberries mainly. But it has blueberries and banana too. Sir said you are not eating blueberries , so this way is better to make you have them..' Lakshmi smiled surreptitiously that she was sharing a big secret.

' Woah!! When did you join his team?? And how did he managed to talk to you? Anyway this one is really good..and you guys are spoiling me ' she smiled gleefully.

' It's okay Didi.. pregnant woman are supposed to be spoiled and pampered..and sir could speak a little bit of Tamil. He is not as good as you..but he is really trying ' she replied while folding the duvet.

Vinny smiled in response as she walked out of the room... surely, they were spoiling and pampering her and she was enjoying it. God help me!! Vinny muttered as she made her way to their bedroom , forgetting all about her dream.
        
      * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

             Vinny was in shower when Avi got home. He got himself a cup of coffee and poured one cup for her when she wandered to the kitchen clad in his navy blue t shirt and black  leggings. She looked cute in his oversized tee and suddenly his heart skipped a beat.

' Hi Avi...that one is for me?' she waved and pointed towards the steaming coffee. She thanked him and seated herself next to him.

' Hey...why are you wearing my clothes?' Avi liked her wearing his clothes but she was unaware of the effects she was having on him.

' It's very comfortable Avi, I am planning to borrow all of them...it is perfect for me right now..' she sipped her coffee paying no attention how troubled Avi looked for a second.

' I thought you guys shopped a lot last month that you didn't need my clothes..'

' We got some maternity clothes and all but nothing matches to this one. It's soft , comfortable and it's yours..' she replied nonchalantly.

' I will get  new clothes for you...' Avi wondered why he was suddenly acting this weird and why she is so dumb.

' It's just your clothes Avi. I thought you were ready to share everything with me and now you are being dramatic about a t shirt. Can't believe this' she huffed, clearly annoyed by him.

' Okay... Since you are such a dim witted person let me explain this way..
It's a big turn on for men when they see their girl in their clothes...' he looked at her , who was looking at him keenly.

Her eyes  went wide and lips curved into a small O.
'I..I didn't know that. I will change right now..' she stuttered, cheeks flushed she almost fainted out of embarrassment.

Avi threw his head and laughed till his eyes watered.

' No need to change, you can keep it..' he said trying to suppress his laughter.

' No no, I don't want a hormonal guy beside me all the time while I am wearing this..' she got up suppressing a bubbling laugher.

' What? I am not hormonal... You can wear them..' His laugher vanished in a second and it was Vinny's turn to laugh.

' Yeah yeah I got it. But let us go for shopping. '

' Now ? For whom?' he was confused, it was getting difficult for him to keep up with Vinny's over fast brain. She could come up with weird ideas out of the blue. Avi was still getting used to it.

'Since you are going to lend me all your nice soft t shirts...we should get you some new ones... don't you think?'
Vinny winked thoroughly enjoying Avi's baffled look.

' I will get ready in fifteen minutes. Go n get ready ' she pointed him the upstairs and flashed a toothy smile.

Avi rolled his eyes. How could she turn the tables just like that. Vinny is getting too unpredictable these days he thought to himself as he dragged himself to upstairs.

After getting ready, they drove to Center Square mall , near M. G road.
After roaming around here and there for some time, Vinny dragged him to a department store. It wasn't much crowded and the atmosphere was relaxing with a song playing in the background. Vinny lip synced to that Tamil song as she went throug the handbags and then it occurred to her. Avi was missing.

   ' What are you doing here Avi?? Why are you roaming around here? Kids section? We are here to shop for you , not for the baby!!' Vinny half yelled at him, who was busy checking out all the cute things. He was smiling himself touching all those soft materials.

' They are all so cute Vinny. I think I am going to buy the entire shop..' he chuckled picking up an off white double pom beanie.

' Vinny....look here.. This is so cute...'
He flashed it Infront of her eyes.

' Avi... it's cute and all. But we shopped already for the baby.. We don't have to shop anymore..' Vinny grabbed it from his hands and placed it back to the rack.

' Okay... but I want this... It's really cute '
Vinny giggled.
'We are living in India, one of the hottest countries not in Antarctica. We don't need a lot of beanies. Come let's go to gent's section. ' She tried to get him back to shopping but it was in vain.

' I am getting this one. You can't say no to nice shoes Vinny..' he got a set of pink sneakers with lace pom-poms, and placed it in her hands.

Vinny smiled despite of her telling him not to shop anything else for the baby.
It was impossible to say no to such a beautiful pair of small shoes.

' Shall we take this then?' She grinned ear to ear and looked at him. Her eyes crinkled with excitement, her long hair cascading down her shoulder and lips curved into a beautiful smile.

' You are glowing Vinny. You have no idea how pretty you are looking right now..' his voice was low and filled with emotions that Vinny could read in his eyes.
Vinny was wearing a tea rose colored high necked midi dress with puff sleeves. She smiled slightly.

' Yeah , Aashi got me this dress. It's really pretty... right' she replied coyly.
Vinny knew her cheeks were on fire, she knew it. How could his words can such an effect on her. Who is hormonal here. Why am I embarrassing myself, she cursed herself for being such a stupid. How there shoe shopping ended up like this she had no idea.

' Oh...but why did you chose a pink one? How do you know it's going to be a girl?' she raised her eyebrows, hoping she was giving him a good distraction and saving herself from embarrassment.

' It's going to be a girl... just like you. My intuitions are always right' he gave her a smug smile.

'That is over confidence. ' she rolled her eyes.

' Okay... Suppose, if it is a boy then these pink shoes will be a waste..., So let's not shop for the baby right now... okay? ' she told him placing those pink shoes back to the racks.

' No! We are buying this one. If it's going to be a boy, I am saving it for our next kid...' he replied as he got those pink shoes back into his trolley.

Vinny stood there, speechless. There wasn't anything she could say to avoid his searching gaze. She was heating up again and this time he saw her blushing cheeks.

' Don't go awkward Vinny...it just came out that way. Anyways I am getting them. '  he said in finality.

' Okay kiddo...I got them for you. I can't wait to see you wearing them..' he said lowering himself so that he could talk to the baby and the baby kicked in response, making both of them beam.

Avi gently wrapped an arm  around her shoulder and walked towards the gents section.
' Don't worry...my kiddo is a girl' he said in her ear, making his point clear.

Avi kept doing this after he had confessed his feelings for her, talking about a future which included her, where they were together and happy.
She was yet to admit herself that she loved him too, and she loved it when he said things like this, that implied about a future, where she and her baby was a part of his life. Irreplaceable.

One of these days I am going to give myself a chance to love him.
That thought made her smile , she stole a glance at him...who was busy checking a pile of clothes Infront of him. Their eyes met , both of them smiled unaware what tomorrow will bring for them.