"She's not picking up," I told Angela as we sat outside our houses on a little bench, facing the woods before us. 
"I think she just doesn't want to talk to you,"
"But I wanted to talk to her,"
"About what?"

"Just hear her voice, be with her, and spend time with her,"
"Any woman could do that. I am here. You can hear my voice, be with me."

I did not reply to her, "It's not like you love her," Her voice sounded restless and angry, "So, many girls in this world and you could have anyone you want. You are so handsome and your voice is deep and sexy, and you have that mysterious aura about you. Everyone adores you, at least I do"

I looked at her. She leaned forward for a kiss and I moved away, "Angela, do you know what being in love feels like?"

She stood up, "Since when did love matter to you? You said it isn't real,"
"My hypothesis was wrong. Love is real,"
"And why do you think that all of a sudden?"
"It's not sudden. It has been very slow and it just crawled into me before I could know it completely. You know I'm not a sentimental guy. But I think I am in love. I didn't plan it to be this way, but I can't change it. Although, I will probably never receive the love that I give. And it pains me, and that pain tells me that love is a very real feeling,"

"Who do you love?"
I looked into her eyes as I got up too. I grabbed her by her shoulders and stared deeply at her iris, clouded by the reflection of Daffine, and I knew I'd pick Daff ten out of nine times. I'd do anything to see her face right now and kiss her. Other women don't matter, she does. She is different because I love her.

"Angela, I have to go," I turned back and got on my bicycle. I wanted to ask her why she wasn't picking up my calls. Did Femke tell her something stupid? Or did I do something that I shouldn't have done? I'm done with being fine being ignored. I am going to confront, Daffine. You better be ready with your excuses. 

It was almost one in the morning. The streets were foggy and the cold wind blew through my jacket. I parked my bicycle outside her little student apartment. I rang the bell, her lights were still on. She opened the door and she looked surprised, finding me there. Was she waiting for someone else? 

"Oh, sorry, I thought it was Casper,"
"Casper is not home?"
"No, he's been out late tonight with his friends. But come in, I made some coffee,"

"Daffine," I walked in, "Why do you not pick up my calls?"
She turned towards me, "My bad, I just haven't been feeling too well. I have a fever," She got back to pouring some coffee for me, beside the biscuits. 

"I thought you hate me," 
"Why would I?" She didn't turn back. 
"You stopped replying to my texts, wouldn't pick up my calls...I thought you faded away like a morning dream... like my grandmother,"

She turned towards me. She looked like she knew. Damn you, Femke. You told her some of your lies, didn't you. 
"What did Femke tell you?" I asked. 
"That you sleep around and you cannot commit,"

I sighed. Seriously, I cannot commit? 

"Femke is not completely wrong. After my grandmother passed away, I became very emotionally closed. And stopped talking to everyone. So, she started seeing another guy and then when I found out, we broke up.  I have known Femke since high school. I was the ugly kid in high school. You once said I stand out in crowds, I always have. It's almost like a superpower...until it isn't. In high school, for example, I wished I was invisible. A lot of people were terrible to me, bullied me, shunned me from everything, and backstabbed me, even the ones that I considered friends initially. 

It was after puberty that I became who I am today. And now, everyone wants to be around me, everyone is shallow. I haven't changed who I am. I just changed the way I looked. And suddenly, I am not annoying, I'm social; I'm not creepy, I'm flirtatious; I'm not controlling; I'm confident. The adjectives have changed, but the person hasn't. I was afraid...What if I pick someone who only likes what everyone else does? And like you said, what if I too have to perform to them, to make them keep liking me?

Everything seemed too much like a hassle, my grandmother was my guiding light. She made everything good. But when she passed away, I just couldn't take the fact that the only person who loved me the most, had left me. Femke kept wanting to have sex, but I didn't. I was grieving. And she cheated on me while I was grieving. But I forgive her. I don't have anything against her. I hope you can forgive me too, for the person I became after my grandmother left. I only blame it on myself for being weak-minded.

That's just how it is. You can decide if you still want to be friends with me or simply just erase me," Please don't erase me. 

"Max," She whispered. 
"Yes?" She passed my cup of coffee to me, "You are... my best friend," She smiled at me, "Femke cannot change that,"

I smiled back at her. I love you so much, Daffine.