Ever felt dirty rain water on your face? Like possibly leaking out of a clogged drain and most definitely full of dead insects. Now imagine that shit hits you in the face on a rainy day, "Are you okay?" He asks me as I hold my broken umbrella aside. It was a middle-aged white man, his wife sat beside him and his two sons were sitting on the back seat of their car. 

This interaction happened on an unknown footpath. I could smell the stench of the drains beneath us, separated by a few layers of iron and tar and I could feel the cold rain water fall on my shoulders. This was a new country.

"Thanks for that nice shower, saves water, you know," A flying plastic bag covered one side of my face as I said this, "The water feels amazing," It was a rainstorm and I decided to walk out with a broken umbrella. See, I have never been the luckiest of the lot. And I have no idea why. I ran out with an umbrella, thinking it would rain. And it did, and when I opened the umbrella, some idiot had broken it already. 

But as I tried opening it a bit, someone paddled past me on the bicycle lane right behind my back, I almost ran into him. And that gave me a strong adrenaline rush. I watched him cycle away in the harsh rain. I looked at the sky, hoping it would wash down this dirty water from my body. And that was exactly when it stopped raining. 

I slammed the door of my dormitory and looked at my roommate and his buck-toothed friend listening to some singer who couldn't sing. He choked and coughed in autotune, "Pure talent to be able to listen to him,"
"Yes, I love when he does that to his voice, it's like a...passing a stinking nettle to your ears" My roommate, Casper, said, "What happened to you?"
"Rain?" I threw the broken umbrella in the dustbin.
"Oh, that one is broken,"

"Couldn't tell. Who the fuck broke it?"
"You broke it," My roommate came closer to me, "Remember the last time you went out with an umbrella, and you got attacked by two crows so you started fighting them with the umbrella until a civilian helped you?"
Shit. This is embarrassing. 

"Did that jog up your memory?"

"Yeah, ahem... I will take a shower,"  As I stood under the showerhead, with soap and shampoo running down my naked body, I remembered that embarrassing incident. And I remembered where I was going that day when the umbrella broke. I was going to meet him. I was glad that we never met. Being unlucky with everything else is bearable...But why am I so unlucky with men? 

"ALL MY FRIENDS ARE IN HAPPY RELATIONSHIP EXCEPT ME!"
"Maybe you should reflect on yourself...just a little bit," Casper said from outside the bathroom as he washed his hands.
"HOW IS IT MY FAULT THAT MEN TREAT ME LIKE TRASH?!"
"Because you're subconsciously attracted to assholes. You pick trash and they make you one. Misery loves company,"

Casper did not have to psychoanalyze me like that. Now, I'll spend another week just reflecting on myself while he reads his psychology major books and decorate the flat into a boho setting.

After the shower, I walked into my room and locked the door while my roommate, Casper, and his friend continued yelling and screaming at the TV while watching the live performance. My dog was sleeping on the bed. I smiled and remembered the time I first picked him up. Dad took me to a shelter and made me choose which one I wanted. 

They were all looking at me, full blue eyes staring into mine as their pink paws touched my red sneakers and I patted their heads. 

"Max," I lay beside my dog and looked at my ceiling. I think that was the last time I felt like I got a chance to choose. Ever since then, I have removed myself from taking decisions because the choices offered are just bad and bad. I picked Max up, that's what I call him now, though I intended to call him Maximus, but dad thought that name was too long for a dog.

I looked outside the window. It was sunny again and the room felt suffocating with all those dreamcatchers and wall-hangings and whatever weird decoration one can imagine. I thought it might not hurt to go out, this time, not with a broken umbrella. So, I put on my shoes and brushed my hair. I want to get some soft drinks and refresh myself. I headed out, "Where are you going?" Casper asked me. 

"Getting cola. You want something?"
"A bag of chips, please!"

The sky was a clear blue. I think this is the prettiest the sky has looked ever since I've come to this city. This country below sea level. The life between spaces of the air, the crowded footpaths and the jammed roads. I tiptoed my way around it. I remember telling myself that I would let me love life...whatever that means.

As I seeped through this narrow footpaths, running across cyclists and kids on little bikes, a cheese-market about a kilometer away, I wondered where the tulip fields are. I hadn't seen them yet. Perhaps, I should visit. Perhaps not. I love flowers, but I don't like all that mud in the fields.

***

I walked into the store and looked around the grocery store, picking a can of cola from the fridge. I looked into the mirror behind the counter as I stood in front of the snacks, carefully arranged on the shelves before me. I picked up a bag of chips. And I was still looking in the mirror with a pop song playing in the store. It was relatively empty there. So, I let my intrisive thoughts win and I danced a bit to the tune while looking into the mirror, as if I was in some commercial.

Suddenly, I saw someone's reflection in the mirror. I screamed inside my head and turned back, tripping, falling on the shelf and almost dropping all the bags of chips laying there. That gave me an adrenaline rush as I looked at this young man looked straight at me, laughing his ass off.

Shit! I made a fool out of myself! He stood before me, held a Redbull and wore a loose, black hoody with black sweatpants. You know those boys, that look like they bully people. The ones that have a dangerous kind of cool, the ones you don't wanna make eye contact with because their eyes just look freaky because they are an empty sky blue. With brunette hair lighter than mine, and cheeks so pink as if he had been slapped at least ten times, he was laughing his ass off at my creepy dance.

You're laughing at me? Cunt, you're wearing a hoodie in August. What sorta creature are you?

I turned to leave, banged my head into another shelf and fuck, that one really hurt. 
"Are you okay?" He asked with a smile. Who the fuck smiles at strangers getting hurt.
"Why are you laughing? What's so funny?," I turn around and pick up my can.
"I don't know, you? Ahem, okay," He cleared his throat and stopped laughing. 

I thought it would be better to leave. So, I began doing just that when he said, "By the way, how's your period going?"
"Excuse me?" How does he know?
"Your pants, dumbass. You are carrying the Japanese flag on your ass,"

OH NO!

I turn red and pressed my hands, trying to cover my hips.
He just smirked and continued drinking his Redbull. He's enjoying my suffering, I've never met a greater dick than him! I hate him! 
"Erm, could you help me...get something to cover?" I asked.
"I thought you'd never ask," He smiled and removed his hoodie. He was wearing a sweatshirt under it. Why is he all in black? Whose funeral did this dude attend? Or is he just emo? Nah, he's too basic for that. I'm saying that while wearing a green T-shirt and white pants.

"Wrap it around your waist," He gave his hoodie to me.
"But...It's yours," Wow, he is actually nice? I feel bad for judging him. He's...He's such a good guy. I wrapped the hoodie around my waist, "Dank u"

"Dank je," He corrected me. So, he doesn't want me to be formal with him?
"By the way," He pressed his hand on the shelf and leaned a bit towards me. We were about the same height and he was so close that I could smell his cologne. He smelled musky, good, "You're not Dutch, right?" He asked.
"No," I shook my head. He took a sigh of relief and moved away from me, "Thank god. That accent is a travesty,"

I was left speechless. He picked up his Redbull can walked out of the store while sipping his drink after butchering my confidence in my Dutch language skills.

"Also, you should switch to tampons because pads are clearly not working for you!" He yelled from the store's door. The clerk gave me a side-eye. OH MY GOD, SO EMBARASSING!
"Thank you for your concern," I was so pissed off and embarassed. But he simply smiled, "Always happy to help a lady out,"

"WHAT THE FUCK! HE'S SUCH A SHAMELESS AND INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE, OH MY GOD! I HATE HIM!" I wined before Max. That dude, I hope he loses his balls! I hope he gets a period! 

Max just listened to my rant and slowly fell asleep. And after a while, I thought life was too short to cry about a random stranger. So, I switched off my lights and went to bed too. Suddenly, in the middle of the night, I woke up, "Wait...How do I return his hoodie back to him?"

-To be continued