#9

Summary:

After Michael and Gavin visit Michael's family in Jersey, Michael realizes he's not as skinny as he thought he was. As Michael begins an... Unhealthy alternative to lose weight, he creates problems for both himself and Gavin due to their wedding coming up in the next month.

"Abbey, could you get the door!" My mom called from the kitchen. Gavin and I were sitting at the bar watching my mom scramble about the kitchen as she prepared the food for tonight's family gathering.
I smiled at Gavin and kissed him gently. I heard the sounds of my aunts and uncles walking through the door, greeting my sister happily. I got up from my place to go greet them as well, knowing my sister wouldn't be able to hold them off too well.
Gavin followed me like a lost puppy and I took his hand in mine, guiding him to the front door.
My family knew about Gavin and my's relationship from the moment it started. They were all overjoyed that I had finally met someone who I was planning to spend the rest of my life with. They all adored Gavin and most thought of him as their own relative.
When they had found out about my proposal to Gavin, they had been all over us. My aunts insisted they plan out the entire thing, my uncles laughed and told us good luck, my grandparents asked us for great grandchildren, ya know, the usual.
I stood near the door smiling at my family. My Aunt Ginger was the first to notice me and she quickly scrambled over to me, kissing both my cheeks.
"Oh, Michael, look at you. Still as handsome as ever," She purred happily. She hugged Gavin tightly and complimented his looks as well, which made me feel a burst of pride for a moment.
Her husband, my Uncle Tyler, shook my hand proudly, smiling at me and saying things about my looks and such.
"Not to mention, looks like your getting a little chubby," He laughed, patting my stomach whilst walking away.
I knew he was only joking but for some reason, once everyone was gone, I had the urge to pinch my stomach, just to see how much fat I did have. So I did, and I grimaced at the amount that I was able to pinch.
"You alright, Mi-cool?" Gavin asked me worriedly. I quickly pulled my shirt back down and nodded, smiling at him.
"You sure?" He asked me again. I nodded and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, leading him back to everyone.
But, I wasn't alright.
I wasn't alright at all.

"Hey, Gav, do you think I'm... I don't know... Chubby?" I asked Gavin that same night. Gavin was curled up in my childhood bed, watching me look at myself in the mirror.
"Well, when you try to gather all your chub together, like that then, yes, you are chubby," Gavin smirked, watching me again.
I sighed and pulled my shirt over my stomach again. My chubby, ugly stomach. I walked over to Gavin and my bed, feeling like I was waddling more than walking. I climbed into the bed, hearing it creak and instantly feeling ten times fatter.
Gavin curled up next to me and pressed his head into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his naturally skinny form, instantly feeling jealous when I felt how some of his bones jutted out.
Gavin had suffered from an eating disorder when he had fallen ill about two years ago and he was still recovering from it. It was horrible watching him become skinnier and skinnier to an incredibly unhealthy weight, and him not being able to do anything about it until he recovered. Now, I was kinda wondering if it wasn't all so bad. I mean, of course it's bad, Gavin looked half dead by the end of it, but he was incredibly skinny.
When I felt Gavin's breathing slow, I gently unwrapped my arms from around him and got up, willing the bed to not creak under my ungodly weight. It didn't, thank god, and I snuck away to the bathroom.
I counted the hours it had been when I had last eaten. About an hour in half so I still had some time to purge the food I had eaten.
I crouched over the toilet and brought up two of my fingers. I grimaced at how chubby they were and instantly was reminded of a time when Gavin had lovingly said that they were chubby. I sighed and instantly shoved my fingers down my throat.
I wasn't particularly fond of throwing up. But I'd do it if I really had to. Like when I ate twelve lava cakes and felt absolutely horrible after, or when Gavin bet me to eat a five pound gummy bear and it proved to be too much of a challenge. But right now, I wasn't particularly regretting my decision of throwing up my meal. In fact, I was kinda glad I did. I already felt thinner.
When I looked at myself in the mirror again, I couldn't help but smile at my reflection. There was no difference in my appearance yet, but I knew that I did weigh less.
Perhaps this wasn't a bad idea.

I continued purging my food. I tried to skip as many meals as I could without people noticing. And I was actually getting thinner! Within the first week I had lost ten pounds. Ten pounds!
But I wasn't stopping there, no way. I was just getting started. I used to be over two hundred pounds and now I was down into the hundreds. It was great!
Gavin had started to take notice to something though. I could see it in the way he acted around me. Sometimes he would press his hand to my cheeks and ask if I was feeling okay, saying I was looking pale and sickly. I would just tell him I was getting a cold or something, and he would always believe me.
When we got back to Austin, Gavin had wanted me to put on my suit for the wedding so he could make adjustments to it. He had been making me put it on once every two weeks to make sure there was no issues with it.
When I put it on, I couldn't help but notice it was still kinda snug on me. Gavin straightened everything out and it only made it more uncomfortable. I instantly started feeling anxious. I began tapping my foot and urging Gavin to hurry up.
"Why? Geoff didn't give us any videos to edit. What's the rush?" Gavin asked me, pausing to look at me.
"Uh, Ray told me about this new update for Minecraft that he wanted me to check out," I told him. Gavin nodded, smirking and continued fixing my appearance.
When he was finished and went back downstairs, I made a mad dash to the bathroom. I noticed how tight the white shirt was underneath and how the pants hugged my legs. I gulped nervously and stripped from my outfit, back into my normal clothes. I walked back to the bathroom and threw up whatever was left in my body, which wasn't much. Just some water and stomach acid.
When I backed away and flushed the vomit, I noticed how everything looked brighter and more illusive. I leaned against the sink and held my head, feeling dizzy and incoherent. I stumbled into mine and Gavin's bedroom and collapsed on the bed, passing out.

That was only the most minor of things to happen. I would often go out for some exercise and nearly pass out in front of everyone. During work the brightness of the video games became an issue and I often couldn't comprehend what all the guys were saying at times and became a horrible player at the games we played.
Gavin knew something was up but he still kept quiet. He became aware of my skipping of meals and he would sometimes follow me to the bathroom. I had to become sneakier, quickly, or else he would find out.
While Gavin was assessing how I looked in my suit, I felt incredibly dizzy. I had just purged what Gavin had made for dinner, since Gavin literally forced me to eat. I had eaten most of it, just so he wouldn't be suspicious. For a moment I felt relief in my constantly empty stomach, but then I felt disgusted for finding comfort in a full belly so I purged it the first moment I got. I was feeling pretty good about my weight now. One hundred seventy-four, thirty pounds less than what I started with.
But still, I had the urge to lose more, much more.
Gavin currently weighed one hundred sixty five, which was still incredibly unhealthy and underweight for him. But I had made it my goal to be as skinny as him, no matter what the consequences were.
I felt Gavin jab at my stomach. I instantly grimaced, feeling his fingers press down on a sore patch. Since I began to purge my food, sore patches had begun to appear on my stomach. They were actually quite painful but I ignored the pain best I could and continued on.
"Michael, can you unbutton the shirt?" Gavin asked me.
I gulped. He was onto me. He knew something was up.
"Why?" I snapped at him, instantly regretting my quick temper when I saw his worried expression.
"Please? I want to see something," Gavin asked me, smiling a dazzling smile.
I sighed and slowly began to unbutton my shirt. I tried to think of something to do. Anything that would fool him.
An idea came to mind at the last second. I quietly took a quiet, deep breath and pulled back the shirt. Gavin quickly felt around my stomach, seemingly touching every sore spot I had. When he assumed I was all clear and had nothing to hide, he pulled back and let me button my shirt up again.
It worked. I couldn't believe it. Sometimes I absolutely loved Gavin's cluelessness and stupidity.
"What were you looking for?" I asked him.
"I wanted to see if all that exercise you were doing was paying off," Gavin winked and kissed my cheek before going back downstairs.
Once he was out of my sight, I plopped into the bed and took deep breaths, willing the spinning room to stand still. When it didn't I resorted to stripping from my suit and passing out, once again.

One month was all it took.
One month of skipping meals, purging, and exercise was all it took to get past Gavin's low weight.
I was finally skinnier than him.
But with that came my consequences. I was suddenly ten times more tired than I already was on a regular basis. My hair had become incredibly limp and dull, it's vibrant red color was soaked out of it, now being left with a boring brownish blond color. My skin was so pale that I literally looked like a ghost. My eyes had dark circles under them, making me look ten years older.
I was a mess.
But I was a skinny mess.
Everyday I admired my skinniness in the mirror. My ribcage protruded against my skin, my stomach pressed even farther back.
I adored it.
But I now faced another problem. I was often too tired to do many simple tasks and I had begun to call in sick to work. I was beginning to worry about the wedding, which was now in less than three months.
What if I wasn't able to attend my own wedding?
I shook the thoughts off. I would adjust in no time. Everything would be okay. The wedding will be perfect. I'll be skinny instead of chubby. I'll marry the love of my life. Everything would be fine.
But as time went on, I realized I might not adjust in time. In fact, it was only getting more difficult to do the simplest tasks. Standing up for longer than a minute made me black out. Walking wasn't even possible. I got constant migraines from the brightness of everything. The sore patches on my stomach were now unbearable.
The consequences were quickly catching up to me. I didn't even try to hide the fact that I was trying to be skinny. Gavin was on the verge of finding out anyway.

The day that everything came crashing down was probably the worst day of my life.
Gavin had found out.
He was disappointed, of course. He had cried and asked me why I thought it was a good idea to do this. That if I was feeling this way, I should've talked to someone. I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Because I knew I would just get too tired to say what I wanted to say.
Gavin just talked on and on, voicing my own confusion and regrets. Eventually, it came to the point where he started to question our relationship. If we were really fit to get married.
"You know, if I can't even watch you and make sure you're healthy and okay, then how am I gonna deal with marriage, or kids? I was so clueless to your pain, so blind. What if one of our kids has to go through that? I'll still be blind to the fact that they're suffering. Maybe... Maybe we should take a break..." Gavin said, sitting down and letting his head fall.
I was so helpless in that moment. I didn't want to take a break. I loved him. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. My stupid insecurities got in the way of my relationship and now, I was paying for it.
"Gavin... Please... Don't," I whispered with the only strength I had. Gavin turned his head back to me, tears still streaming down his face.
"Michael, we could both use it. Just a little while. A couple weeks, a month at the most. Just so we can get back on our feet," Gavin told me, crawling over to me.
"But... I love you," I whispered again, feeling myself begin to black out.
"I love you too, but I need some time to think. And... So do you. I'll be back soon. Then we can discuss if we were really meant to get married," Gavin croaked. I could literally feel how reluctant he was to say all that.
So Gavin packed up one of his bags and left for Geoff's. Before he left, he kissed me and told me to think about what I wanted, to be skinny or him.
Of course I wanted Gavin more than anything. But being skinny felt great.
I don't think I've ever thought longer about any decision in my life. Eventually, I found the sane part of my mind and realized what I was doing to myself was stupid. Being skinny meant nothing if Gavin Free loved you.
So, for that entire week that Gavin was gone, I ate and ate. It wasn't exactly healthy, especially since my stomach had shrunk, but I was determined to gain back some of the weight I had lost.
By the end of that week, I had gained back about ten pounds. I still weighed less than Gavin, but it was only by about seven pounds. I was looking a little healthier and I could actually begin to walk around without passing out.
By the end of the second week, I weighed more than Gavin. I smirked when I looked at myself in the mirror, seeing that my ribs didn't stick out as much anymore. My stomach wasn't stretched out far from my ribcage anymore. The small bit of color I had on my skin was returning and my hair became stronger and was returning to the vibrant red color it had always been.
Friday night I called Gavin and told him to come over. He was hesitant to, which upset me on so many levels. He was actually nervous to come home.
"Gavin, I want to show you something. If you don't like it, then you can leave and we can do whatever you please with our relationship," I persuaded him. He eventually gave in and came over.
"Okay, what did you want to show me?" Gavin asked when he walked into our once shared apartment. I sighed, knowing he was still upset with me.
"Just, turn around for a couple seconds," I told him. Gavin looked at me in confusion but turned around anyway.
I quickly took off my shirt and looked down at myself for a moment. I took a deep breath and told him to turn back around.
When he did, he gasped and brought his hands up to cover his mouth. Tears quickly welled up in his eyes and he eventually looked up to meet my waiting gaze.
"Mi-cool... I-," He started.
"No, just let me talk for a moment. I'm so sorry I put you through that kind of misery. I'm sorry I jeopardized our relationship for my own selfish wants. I'm sorry I let myself get caught up in something this stupid. I love you more than anything, Gav. Anything," I told him. Gavin nodded slightly and rushed forward, hugging me as tightly as he could.
"I love you too, Mi-cool," Gavin purred.

And as fate had it, Gavin and I were always destined to be together. The wedding was amazing. Although I had my dizzy spells from time to time, for the most part, I was okay.
And besides, laying dead in a coffin wasn't as glamorous as kissing Gavin on our wedding day.
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Hehe... Once again this one shot was the product of some inspiration from the one and only, Rainistorm. (Who I believe is no longer writing...)
Anyway, I really hope you guys enjoyed. I really don't know what is up with me and writing about the depressing topics. If you guys don't like it, please let me know and I'll begin writing some happier things.
Thank for reading!