(I AM X

I AM X

I AM X

Ya'll I'm not excited for tomorrow

I love writing ballroom scenarios that don't exist canonly so here is another one

"Elara... I don't feel so good." ~Reader

OKAY BUT I'M KINDA PROUD OF THIS FIC??? I ALMOST CRIED WRITING IT??? AND THE SONG MATCHES THE TONE OF THIS FIC OF A GIRLFRIEND WHO DOESN'T REALIZE HOW MANIPULATIVE SHE IS??? AND HOW DEPRESSING THE ENDING OF THE SONG IS??? )

So you came like a missile

When Evangeline knocked you down during the Queenstrial, you were able to show your abilities in a way you never wanted to; in front of silvers. You remember being in your original town, noticing you had a dark ability to control lightning. You could bring storms, producing the energy of the midnight rain and the moon's smile. You showed your ability to your town and they didn't think of you as a monster - they barely treated you differently.

It was something nobody expected, silver or red, a servant interrupting the Queenstrial to show off the abilities in front of the highhouses.

Falling on my head with the black sky

Elara made you take Maven's hand in marriage, and it was something you never thought would happen. But you saw Maven for the first time really and saw how perfect he was. You saw his black hair and his blue eyes, they matched so perfectly with your redblooded looks. He was beautiful, and so were you. The media said you two were the perfect couple, contrasting both worlds, even when you were supposed to be the same. You pretended to be a silver, but it didn't fool most people - and nobody truly gave a shit.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away

You loved placing your hands on his cheeks, you love how soft his skin was between your fingers. "You're so beautiful," you fill him with your words. You loved holding Maven, and you thought he felt the same. But it tore him up in ways you could never know. He was scared to fall in love with you, he was scared of his mother and what she could do. He didn't want to suffer like he did with Thomas, but with the way you touch him so nicely, he couldn't help but fall in love.

Then you came with your breeze blocks

Smashing up my face like a bus stop

"That tie doesn't look good on you, looser - see, there we go." You mumble to Maven as you loosen his clothing. 

"You know I hate it when you dress up like that." Your words were like poison rain as it melted his skin - his ego. He looked down at what he was wearing, the familiar tuxedo-like outfit for the celebration of marriage for Cal. Your purple and silver colors refused to elegantly match with Maven's red and black. Distasteful, was your only thought.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away

"My house colors are utterly disgusting, I'll have to talk to Elara about that. I'll be much better as your spouse then." You add on, looking in the mirror as you fix up your dress. Maven fingers his sleeve, looking nervously as your beautiful gown. It was the most beautiful combination of purple and silver he had ever seen in his entire life. It looked even more beautiful on you. But you despised the pale complexion, so so did he.

Like the drunk you convinced was sober

"Don't you think this is a little odd?" Maven whispers against your neck, intertwining your fingers. You lead him to the dance floor where nobody was dancing before you pull him against you. Ease yourself, you think to him as your massage his shoulder with your dancing fingers.

"We are not odd, Maven. Don't think so negatively." You respond as you ignore all of the looks the two of you got. Maven made eye contact with his brother, who just smiled at him. We are not odd, your words echo throughout his skull. You have such a unique mindset he never knew a person could.

You keep me falling over (in the daylight)

In an event that would usually leave him in the shadows, waiting for his time to shine - you showed him how to live for himself. He danced with you to everybody watching and it felt beautiful. He forgot about the storm in his head - the negative feeling of people staring soon became a positive. He smiled with you. For once, the world was peaceful. You showed him what it was like to live without worries.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away

But once he made cutting eye contact with his mother, he slowed. His mother glared at him. It was almost a warning. Her blue eyes crushed him like a falling iceberg. He apologized to you, slipping from your grasp before returning to his mother's side. You stand alone in the middle of the ball. You look around you. Everybody is watching, whispering to all of the people around them. Ease yourself, you think to yourself before you quickly walk away from the spotlight. You sigh, glaring at Maven before slipping into the darkness.

With the best of intentions

You tried to give an ocean directions

"You are so unfair, my queen. I mean honestly - you couldn't give me a house with a better color scheme?" You tease Elara before continuing your sewing of the rim of your dress. You sew in ruffles, just to give it a certain glow. You sit in Elara's room, as requested.

"It is your fault for falling into our world, you cannot expect everything to go as planned." She smirks. Behind all of your brattiness and teasing, Elara rather enjoys your company more than other people your age. There is something about herself she sees in you. She knows exactly what makes you two similar, and you don't. She keeps you around only for the moment you realize the best of your ability.

"I love you Elara," you laugh quietly. You feel like yourself around her. You enjoy her more than Tiberias, that's for sure. There's a calming presence that follows Elara around. It's utterly appealing to you.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away

She smiles. She looks down at you, seeing you all happy just to be around her. She thinks about how scared Maven gets when she walks into his room. And then there's you, happy everytime you get to see her. Even if you destroyed her world - falling into her hands like the first dead pawn - she still found a way to love you in a way she could never love Maven. Her dire expectations were drowned by your beautiful eyes, the only things that reminded her that you weren't her child, even as she loved you like you were.

So you came like a missile

Your heartbeat played in your ear the day you saw Tiberias chained by his hands in the castle's highest cage. You stood next to Cal, your hands chained by two cuffs. You looked at Maven, who refused to look you in the eyes. He thought this would be easier - he thought his mother's hands would cure him of his despair. 

Leaving me the whole world in exile

"Cal, it's okay." You try to coo with your undying voice as he holds the sword tightly in his hands. Elara smiles, seeing you using what she loved about you. Your sweet manipulation skills. Ever since she looked inside of Maven's head, she saw how your small movements were calculated seductively. It made her love you more. But she knew what she had to do. You didn't put together why Elara was starting to focus on him. You couldn't imagine her being the evil person everybody knew she was. To you - she was practically your mom - and you still didn't know she was a monster. Tears fall down your face. Your voice, that was once used to soothe people into doing whatever you wanted, was drowned by fear and pain.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away 

You watched as Tiberias's head barely managed to stay on his head. His crown, stained silver, rolled in front of Maven's grasp. Your legs almost collapse from under you. You scream, the noise painful to Elara. Maven twists his fingers against his palm, trying not to make you his weakness. He tried to ignore his heart. He tried to make the sound of your scream sound beautiful to him.

And as Cal broke into tears and screams, he turns to you. Elara's fingers curls. She bites her lip, and Maven notices. She feels human, even as it is for once in her life. She hates the feeling. If she wants to succeed in her plan, she has to be emotionless. She can't have any weaknesses.

You keep me falling over (in the daylight)

"E...lara?" You look at her before you could look at Maven. All you can feel is the heat of Cal's rage and sorrow. It starts at your shoulder, moving lower until you feel it in your stomach in the physical form of a blade. You look at your fingertips, stained in red. Red. As Cal backs up, Maven runs towards you. He pushes Cal back, rushing to your side with tears in his eyes. Elara looked down at you, not wanting to see your last moments. She didn't want this to be the last thing she sees - you sad.

"(Y/N), it's okay, it's okay." Maven repeats what you said towards Cal. Elara's lip curls up as she tries to remain a straight face. Ease yourself, she can hear your voice in her head. Tears. Something she hadn't felt in awhile. They roll down her cheeks as she stared down at you.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away

"Maven," you put your hands on his cheeks, just like you used to. All you could see were his eyes, as beautiful as they were. 

"I love you so much, don't think negatively, okay?" You whisper. Your lips, once a beautiful pink, soon became a dark red as blood spilled from your mouth. The feeling Maven felt when he saw the life leave your eyes was unbearable. It felt like his insides were getting torn out. He screamed, craddling your body. Elara kneeled by his side, rubbing his back. She let out her own elegant sobs as she gives up on maintaining herself.

Think you're giving but you're taking my life away