(Damn right another IAMX one

And sorry about the last one haha whoops

I feel like with IAMX fics the "you" of his lyrics is always the reader

I'm on like page 200 of War Storm so the updates will be a little wonky since my spare time is spent reading it haha, so let's wait until I finish it on like Saturday (I already know like two people that day because of a paging slip and a Wikipedia error so I'm not excited) FUCK I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED WRITING THE PART WHERE IT GETS INTO SPOILERS YET AND I'M ALREADY CRYING THINKING ABOUT IT 

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ UP TO PG. 644 THEN DON'T READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Update: I cried reading it. Like - no, I didn't cry. I wailed. I was screaming alone in my house, my hand trying to muffle my screams. My eyes burned and they still do. I couldn't write anything else in the book. I just wanted to die, thinking that if I died then I could be with Maven. He's a fucking fictional character yet he reminds me of somebody I loved awhile ago in the past. If you guys remember that one fic yikes. Maven is dead, and so am I. 

Why does this song relate to War Storm so much. 

"When the grey turns to black and the wave's on my back," Iris??? Her tattoos??

"It's the shining of you that just breaks me in two like a lifeline," EVANGELINE @ ELANE?? HELLO)

Mercy

When I melt in the kiss by the words and the whispers you sing me

You trail your lips to Maven's ears, reminding him who he is. Not a king, not a prince.  A nobody. You're a Newblood, the whisper Cal longs for. What he doesn't know - you've been by Maven's side the entire time. Maven places one of his hands on your hip, pulling you closer to him. His breath is hot on your shoulder. You expected his skin to be warm, as the burner he is, but he's icy to the touch.

"You are mine." You whisper into his mind, your pinky hands trailing warm circles on his cheek. His hair curls against your other fingers as you try to fight the urge to yank on it. Maven is a terrifying person to be close to. He is unpredictable, he is insane, and he is unreadable. He is your type of guy.

Mercy

And I'm frail in the kill by submission and will that you bring me

"Yes," he breathes ((thank god)). You can feel his body as it pulsates from under you, quaking from your poisonous touch. The softness of your fingers against his skin made you feel alive, even if it didn't last the time he hoped. 

You never had to fear Iris interrupting your moods with Maven. She despised being in the same room as him, and he didn't really help those negative emotions. You can get where she is coming from. If you just look at him, he looks like a walking corpse. Dead eyes, dead heart, white skin, icy to the touch. But once somebody can touch the warmest part of his chest, they can understand how deep his emotions truly go - the emotions Elara couldn't hide away.

Mercy

When I'm nothing but ego, you slap me to let go and sleep free

You save Iris day by day. When Maven stands next to her, spine straight and shoulders square, with his dashing smile you are quick to go by his side and tug his sleeve before showing him his weakness. Just looking in your eyes can face him down, that or kissing his cheek. You remind him to not be so strong, that a warrior always has a target on his back.

"Lay low," you remind him, looking behind him to Iris. She bears a sensitive smile - one forced just for you. "It'll save you in the end." 

And your touch, filled with wisdom and worry, never fails to bring a bit of warmth to his frozen skin.

Now I sleep free

Maven can only fall asleep if it's in your arms. He would rest his head against your chest, breathing in your scent as you rub sensitive patterns into his head and back. You ease him with your whispers, something his mother would never do. She only showed him the evils of whispering, not the pleasures. He can dream now, with you. You whisper imagery into his head, delightful pleasures of birds and grass. It's ease, it's free. And it's all because of you.

You look around his room, not knowing what else to do. Your eyes fall on a trinket from your childhood. Something a... friend gave you. On Maven's desk is a trophy, one golden and hard. You feel nervous just seeing it, getting reminded of the memories you try to forget.

You kiss Maven's head, enjoying the peacefulness of his dream-filled sleep. 

You're my toy box

You're my memories

He was stressed when he spoke to all of the people who wanted to kill him altogether in that circle of silencers. You were stressed, too. You didn't know what he was thinking. You had no form of comforting him without making him seem weak - or revealing your relationship. You had never recalled your life so dangerously until that moment. Before you even stepped into that circle, you told Maven how much you loved him. Just in case the worst was to come, you would be there. You will always be there. As insignificant as you are.

You sit through the meeting with a stone face, shoulders squares, and back made of steel. You were nervous, unknowing any plan that ripped through the enemy's head. It's the oblivion you fear the most, though. She was an iron smile that curses you the most. She makes eye contact with you fiercely throughout the entire visit. She wants the worst for Maven, and you know that. She wants Cal to take what belongs to your king. His island, his palace, his throne, his enemies. Everything he has. But one thing Cal cannot have is you, and you will always lay by Maven's side. Even if you have to lie your way to it.

When I smell your skin you just make my whole world weep

As soon as the other side gets free of the silent circle, you do too. You can hear the thoughts of every person, and that soon becomes your doom.

As slowly as you can, you grab Maven's hand. He stops walking, the metals of his layers of black clothing cease their movements. You kiss the back of his hand slowly, never stopping to make eye contact with him. 

Do as I do, you whisper to him, his knuckles still between your lips. His blue eyes flicker with what can only be rage before turning to the Lakelander queens. He looks at them, and you take your time saying your prayers to whatever God may be listening. You hold onto his hand, the hand holding the fire bracelet before Iris can tell you otherwise. 

I'm at your feet

As quick as a bullet, the sound of crashing waves surrounds you as you slickly slide away from Maven. He looks at you, worry filling his eyes. You can only watch as he practically gets torn to ribbons. It hurts you, and you do everything you can to not intervene. But as Jon told you many times before, doing nothing will be the only thing keeping you and Maven together. 

You look at Mare and Evangeline as a way to stop the tears. You have to stay strong. You have to, or it's his life. Evangeline makes eye contact with you for a second, and you smile. 

I'm at your feet

With Maven's bracelet swinging in Iris's hands and Lakelander guards clawing as his feet, you stand by him with a sense of betrayal laced into your presence. You look down at Maven, rubbing your fingers along the white skin of his cheeks. You whisper to him, putting on a twisted smile. No sense of mercy is in your gaze. That's for the better.

It's the only way they'll let me be with you, you eye Mare and Cal as they stare in bewilderment, it's the only way. Cenra places her hand on your back, making you look into her sharpened eyes. All you can do is smile as Maven moves his head away from your touch. You don't try to read his thoughts, you don't want to know how he'll feel about you anymore. Hatred? Understanding? Will he twist his love for you the same way he regretted doing with Mare?

Mercy

When the grey turns to black and the wave's on my back, you make me smile

You pet his head the entire time he rested in the dropjet. Julian kept an eye on you, and you kept an eye on him. It was almost an understanding. Don't touch me and I won't touch you. Anabel, on the other hand, was disgusted by your entire appearance. 

"Don't trust a whisper, especially not one with red blood." She loves the sound of her own voice, even in her head. You don't care about how dangerous she thinks you are. You know what you can do to people. You know how you can twist and turn Anabel's head until she ends up like her daughter-in-law. But you don't. Because you listen to Maven, controlling him in no way he controls you. If he wants you to destroy people, you will. But he needs to grow up before you stop making your own decisions. He's going to get himself killed without you.

Mercy

Is the trauma no martyr you crush into pleasure and downtown

It takes time before you are allowed to see Maven again. To much time to your taste, even if it's only around a couple of hours. You are discussed and being discussed to, and it's disgusting. 

"She can help Maven," Cal argues, his voice nowhere near as strong as you thought it would be. He's a petty king, weak. Not like Maven. 

"Then why hasn't she yet?" Mare claps back. You stand there, by yourself, with your head down. You try to hide your smile but you can't. 

"Why don't we just throw her in the jail next to Maven?" The general with blonde hair lets out. You squint, looking up at her. You look into her thoughts. She doesn't trust you. She doesn't trust anybody.

"I don't want to be compared to that vile creature. He forced me to work by his side for months. I wish I could have escaped with Jon." Your voice starts off strong but turns weaker, and by the name Jon, you practically whisper. Lies, you tell yourself, these are all lies. 

You look at Mare.

She looks sympathetic. Yes, because she knows what it's like. She knows nothing about how you feel.

You look into her head, and all you can see are images of her time with Maven. Things he had never told you. Things you didn't know about. The muscles of your face twitch until you look like a nervous rabbit. 

This wasn't part of the plan, not your plan. But your mind begins to race and your mask starts to fade away. Why didn't Maven tell you about his mother or Thomas? You didn't even know about Thomas until this moment, something so important to Maven. Does he not love you? Does he love Mare more?

"Are you okay?" The hand of Mare falls onto your shoulder. You brush it away, moving away from her. You can't look up, your vision blurs. Your throat tightens. Why are you crying? This isn't like you - the dominant, fierce Newblood that works only with Maven. This is a whole other person, one that just wants the person they love to love them back. Whatever went wrong?

"If you hate Maven, why did you stay? You are more powerful than him." Farley pecks more. You look up to her. Your gaze practically goes red.

"I only listen to whatever Maven tells me," you snap before you can think, "because I fear what he would do if I betrayed him. But now, I'm safe. Safe..." Unlike him. No, this is the only way. You'll fight your way out of it, with Jon's advice or not. Do nothing. Nothing will get you farther than your own head will let you. Do nothing. But you can't. You want to do everything. Everything for Maven, the person who can't find a way to trust you with what goes on in his head. 

"But I will help him. I can make him love again." You finish, folding your arms. You pretend you never broke down. You pretended to be the person you were when Maven fell asleep in your arms only days before. "Just trust me," and Cal does.

Mercy

It's the shining of you that just breaks me in two like a lifeline

You see Maven, as still as a statue, not facing you as you walk in. You don't say anything to him. He stays in the light, the sun almost blinding him. You open your mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry?" It came out more of a question. Maven lets out a stiff laugh. It's all he can do. 

He turns around, head high. He looks broken. His face, the one Elara put there, shattered in a second once he saw yours. You puffy eyes and red cheeks. He walks over to you in three long strides. He puts his hands on your cheeks.

"Are you okay?" The same words Mare said to you. You close your eyes, detracting from him. His hands still remained on your body as they slip to your forearms. You want to walk away. You want to move away from him, showing him that he can't control you anymore. But his touch, as soft as it is, is too addicting. You can't shuffle away. You feel safe in his arms.

You hug him, holding his thinning body close to you.

"I don't care what they say, Maven. I love you. I love you so much. You aren't a monster, you don't need fixing. I love you the way you are." You cry into his shirt. He holds you tight, rocking you side to side softly. He holds you the way you used to hold him, one hand in your hair and the other rubbing circles into your back. He had never seen you like this. In his eyes, you were a warrior. Somebody stone compared to Evangeline and Iris. But no, he sees now, you are just like him. And that's why I love you so much, he thinks, knowing you can hear.

You're my lifeline

He sits in a chair, head rests back into your hands as you stand behind him. 

"Fix me," his breathe is soft. You purse your lips together, fingers going to his temples. You lightly kiss the top of his head. It's quiet, too quiet. You can only do what he says, and that's what makes you his captive - not his lover. 

You look into his head, spending more time on seeing who he is rather than figuring out what to reverse. He was a small kid, and that's where you begin. It's harder for you. Where you'd usually go head-first into a person's head, you take time going back to reality to rub his temples soothingly. He places a hand on your fingers, telling you he's fine. He trusts you, do the same to him. 

The first thing you help is his nail-biting. It's the thing that personally affects him the most. You see all of the things Elara affected, the sting a deep blue compared to the grey of his head. The dreams, his father, his brother. You begin to wonder, how is this going to make him feel once he gets his feelings back? Will he feel regret? Will he dismiss the feelings? 

Then you get to Thomas, and you freeze. You hitch a breath. Thomas. Your rival now. No, stop being selfish. You're turning Maven into a human, not a war machine. You're not his mother. 

You see the death of Thomas in your own eyes, seeing Maven hold him tightly as the flames gulp up his body. Holy shit, you think. You almost want to delete the sight. There's not going back now, no more messing with his head. You try to focus, try not to mess him up. But you delete the feelings for Thomas in your own jealousy. And then Mare, who you find the most pleasure in deleting. No more obsessive hearts, no more love, all he loves is you. That makes you happy. A part of you knows Maven won't be entirely fixed, and if you practice enough, that will be his final destination. But until then, you bare with the ability you have now.

I'm the idiot to your poetry

You release your fingers, and Maven keeps his eyes closed. He almost feels like he's sleeping, his head feeling lighter than before. He can think, he can breathe. 

It feels weird. To you and Maven.

You grip him tightly, not giving him time to fully come to reality. You see his cheeks flare with a bright silver color, showing him - alive. Alive. As alive as you are. You take this moment to fall in love with him all over again. He's safe. Everything about him... is alive still. You saved him, everything can end now. 

But it doesn't.

When you burn you bleach

Everything and all I need

You left the room after only a couple of minutes to the call of what is known as the new king. He asked for details, he asked for reassurance. You felt on edge. Something is wrong. You looked in Cal's head, nothing astray. You shouldn't have turned your back, you know that now. You should have stayed with Maven, reminding him you loved him. You wish you had Jon, you wish he could tell you what you had done wrong instead of you wondering it as you try to escape Cal's conversation.

"I have to go," you whisper before turning around and racing out of his reach. 

You can feel the frosty air as you run by. It's as cold as Maven's touch, which you miss already.

He wasn't in his room. He wasn't in any room. He was gone, disappeared. You screamed. 

How could you have turned your back on him? He could be dead - drowning by the touch of a Cygnet queen if it wasn't for you. 

You throw your hands on your head, pulling out your hair and tightening your skull with each grip. This isn't real. This isn't happening. How can you whisper the guilt away, whisper your own emotions? You wish you were powerful enough for that. Instead, you bare with the pain - the tears - the sudden urge to die just to be with him.

"I know where they went," a voice said from behind you. You turn around. A Red. That makes you feel a bit better. 

The person stares at the day, looking into the sun like they were contemplating their own thoughts. You see her head, the image of her grabbing onto Maven's ribs and taking him somewhere. Taking him a place you don't recognize. Away.

"Take me," you stand abruptly. Your voice is the sound of hard iron ripping through flesh, enough to make the Red wince. You look into her brown eyes before recognizing her name playing in Mare's head once before.

"Take me, Arezzo." You repeat, less threatening. Arezzo looks at you, almost through you. Doesn't she know how dangerous you are? Doesn't she know you can twist her thoughts with a mere blink? 

Is it the tears that continue to stream down your face that make you less threatening?

She lifts her hands, taking your cheeks into her hands as she whips the tears away. 

"He's a danger to us," she says softly. You grab her wrist, staring at her with the weapons of your eyes. Her pupils dilate with what can only be shock as she sees the images you have bared in your life. The sight of reds pilled like a kebab at the frontlines of war with weapons people like them couldn't begin to imagine. 

Arezzo looks at you as the image leaves her. Her eyes are blinking, her lips are parted. 

"Take me or die," you say with a voice only routing from the depths of your gut. The useless Red wastes no time.

Is at your feet

She teleports right in front of the open doors leading to the underground-like dungeon. Your head spins, you try to take in your surroundings. So many people, so many colors you've never seen together. Before you can breathe; before you can live, she pushes you down the hallway and down the dozens of steps. 

You can feel your bones smashing against each other as you descend. The crushing and thumping of your skull against silent stone smother you in more ways than one. You can barely breathe, your lungs huddling together in an embrace, stopping your breathing before your body can. 

You look up at the ceiling longer than you'd hope. You lay there for what seems like years, taking in the pain. Your chest, your head, your knees - everything hurts. Especially your heart, that sounds like war drums. Your fingers twitch, remembering the feeling of Maven's skin. The feeling that left mere minutes ago.

And now you're here, skipping against cell too cell. Why are their so many? The silent stone hits you, even when it isn't on you. You can't hear a sound. The only noise is your constant limping. And then, you see ten guards, who all focus on your individual. There. 

Is at your feet

You lift your fingers, counting off each guard as they go. They stiff before their death, standing still as their organs try to receive oxygen. By the age of seven, you knew people could die from shock. This only fuels that thoughts as they practically drop like dominoes. You try not to reminisce in the thoughts of your children, born in the middle of a war. You have seen dead silvers and reds in positions not natural to the human bones. The first corpse you saw was your fathers as you held his bare head in your hands, wondering where the rest of him went. 

You thought you'd never kill again after that, but now, you don't care about what you thought. 

You place your hand on the metal bare of the cage, your fingers twitching like never before. And there, dressed in grey rags, is Maven. For a second, everything is fine. 

In a few quick strides, he covers the flooring and makes his way to you. He lets out words of concern and anger, but you can't hear them. Your ears are ringing. You made it, you are here, but you don't have a way to get him or you out alive. 

His fingers barely rub your cheeks as he leans his forehead against the bars. You do the same, unable to stand straight against his height.

Mercy

Are the licks and the lips of temptation, just tricks, not for playing?

You never thought you'd kiss Maven through steel bars that lead to his fate, but you did. It felt like agony, but he made it feel like Heaven. He looks amazing even in the rags they gave him. He wears it proudly, warming your heart. 

He doesn't taste the same, he tastes like iron. 

He tastes like blood.

And for a second, you like the taste.

Mercy

Are you the camera suck, gun slut to headphone fuck holes in my being

"This is truly a sight I never thought I'd see." The little lightning girl says. You see her silhouette, like a monster against the flickering like. You see inside of her head, all she thinks about is the power of love, the power of betrayal. She can't even begin to understand the power you have with Maven.

Even though you took away his ability to love Mare, even though he should despise her, he still puts a hand on yours and thinks: don't. One word that made your mind spin. You began to doubt yourself. But no, nothing was wrong with you. It's all Maven. He will always choose her over you. And you have already gotten used to it. 

You see the lighting girl tense at the sight, realizing how everything can play out from here. For a second, you could practically see the shadow of Jon standing behind her, whispering in her ear the same way you want to.

You hold Maven's hand through the bar, his icy fingers gaining warmth from your injured once. 

"I'll show you the tunnels as long as you get a healer for (Y/N)," Maven says with a low tone. You let out a breathe, placing a hand on your ribs. Goddamnit Maven. 

Mercy

Are you everything which put the sex into bitch, or just faking?

You had Sara by your side, Maven on your other. His request. It was almost like an interrogation room up there, and Maven seemed nervous until he felt your touch. You stared at him the entire time, though you didn't see what was going through his head at all.

Constantly, Farley made comments about your relationship, and how simply you lied about it. Maven never looked your way. You holding his hand in that moment was all he needed. And you never let go - even when Sara tried to heal your damaged fingers. You didn't want to let go. And you paid for it. 

As the minutes went by, your fingers turned a deathly purple, numb to the touch. Unnoticeable if you didn't stare hard enough. You still held Maven's hand, soothing him with your soft touch. You soothed him in a way you never did before. You soothed his heart, his plan, all of his touches just by doing nothing. Just like Jon said.

Do you fake it?

"If you get by me one more time I'm deleting everything in your head, you bastard." You snap at Tyton, who enjoys sitting too close to you. You sit practically on Maven's lap in the dropjet, giving you a flashback of a mere day before. Your legs are all over him, one knee against his chest and the other resting on his. He holds you tightly, kissing your cheek. One of your hands is on his cheek and the other is hidden away from him. You can feel his warmth in every direction, filling your heart. You inhale his scent, memorizing like it's your last breath.

Farley eyes you from across the jet, squinting in your direction. You smirk at her, maintaining eye contact with your as you bring Maven into a kiss. She only turns away when you bite his lip, pulling it away from his skull. He groans as a bit of silver blood drips into your mouth. You've grown to love the taste.

So I celebrate your chemistry

You have always hated the escape tunnels. You've been in there too many times, remembering all of the shows Maven performed for you inside of their walls. Sweet memories, things that made you regret not kissing him once more before leaving the dropjet. You stand by Maven's side but you don't touch him, in command of Maven, as Tyton grabs his neck. You keep your eye on him, watching the tall emo albino as he handles your property. I will kill you, you whisper to him. He looks at you through slit eyes. He smiles, but only with his lips.

If you bond with me

Tyton looks down at you as the time flies by, you all walk and walk. All you can focus on is him and his hand that grips Maven's neck. Time flies. You want to kill. You feel the need to kill. And before you can take another breath, you run with the Scarlet Guard. The Red's rise, running like a wave from the deep ocean. An ocean filled with blood, fear, and rage. You can hear the thoughts of thousands as you hit the fresh air. You can fear the pulse of water as the river rises, ships come to sail, and the corpses getting washed away by the storm. You don't notice Tyton sneaking away with Maven and Mare until you turn your head, seeing Maven practically on your knees.

That's it. 

Past the Scarlet Guard's death count - Cal's stubbornness - the Cygnet Queens - Farley's life - Evangeline's might - and Anabel's bronze eyes, you are the true thing Mare fears. And fear she does as she turns around, her words falling short as you lift your fingers, ending Tyton's life with the flicker of your fingers. And before the sun can fall, a missile makes the surrounding buildings collapse under the pressure of its blow. Mare gets thrown across the field, and Maven braces himself. Nothing occurs. And he runs. You run, too, following him as he goes from building to building. You wonder if he even notices you were behind him. He seems concentrated. 

He suddenly stops, turning around before a flame erupts in his hand. He winks. He's saying goodbye. But not to you.

You lead him into the castle with furry in your eyes. He can see that, but he speaks to you nonetheless. The tunnels in the study, flooded. The bedrooms are everything but different, falling under the same pattern. No fire for him, and nothing for you to control. 

He just grabs your hands, leading you into the queen's study room. The room laced in Silent Stone. 

I could make your whole world sweet

"Just relax," he soothes in a dark tone. He rubs your head, eyes filled with emptiness. You fall to your knees. This isn't over. This can't be over. This isn't how everything ends. The distance sound of missiles and screams, the smell of fresh ocean water. The sight of Maven's eyes as he accepts his fate. His mask falls for you as he kneels down in front of you, the silent stone almost leaving both of you dead. He brushes your hair away from your head, kissing your forehead.

"Everything will be okay." You don't know if he's saying that to you or himself. The corners of your eyes get wet, even as no tears fall. You put your hand on his cheek, trying to put happy thoughts in his head. But the silent stone leaves your purple hands shaking.

I'm on my knees

With a flash of purple light, the door to the room opens. Maven leaves your side quickly. You try to look at Mare, but you can only look at him. His hand is suddenly occupied by a letter opener, one coming from Iris's desk. Your eyes glaze over. In another future, would this have been your desk? Mare doesn't look at you, seeing how hopeless you are compared to your lover. He stands tall, almost proud to have left your side. Left your side... 

Your hands touch the floor. You cry, hand pulsating. Your head spins as you try to breathe against the silent stone. No, you need to fight. Even if he left your side. Even if your hand stays numb, you need to stand. 

And you do.

You lift your body, not knowing how to fight behind your loss of ability. You look at Mare, who is nervous between you and Maven. She doesn't know who will act sooner or who is the most dangerous without the other. 

You want to give up. You don't know how to fight. You're weak. You are weak. 

I'm on my knees

You are not weak, you whisper to yourself. Your mind divides into two, as you show yourself your old memories at the war fronts. You didn't use your powers to kill thousands of Lakelanders. You didn't use your powers to escape execution. You didn't use your powers to have Jon's attention, even at the age of fourteen. 

And you don't need to powers to take Mare's life. You will do anything for Maven, whether he requests it or not. You're his lover - not his captive. 

Your body becomes a living storm. Your screams roar like thunder. Your punches and dodges like lightning. But Mare can't control you. You grab her hair. She dodges, but to her disadvantage, her hair is long. You grip it easily before slamming her nose into your knee. 

Maven yells with a booming voice, but you can't hear. It's for your own good, you try to whisper to him, but it ends up echoing in your own head. It's for his own good, adding another body to your list. 

Mare is smart, smarter than you'd want. When you lift up her head she attacks your waist, charging at you and having your head hit the floor with a crack. Your vision spins. But you don't have time to feel. You claw at whatever you can, feeling the liquid of her eyes spray onto your fingernail. She screams, and it's Mavens turn to tackle her. His hands go to her throat, cutting off her oxygen. You can feel her pain, your head still spinning. Then you see the box cutter, and how sharp it is. 

You try to grab it, but something stops you from gripping onto it.

Your purple, swollen fingers.

Mare grabs it before you can, and your heart stops.

On my knees

There's silver blood on every corner of her face, and yours too. You can see Maven's eyes, filled with nothing but joy. Pure joy. Not happiness, not satisfaction, just joy. The edge of despair.

You scream until your voice can't handle it anymore. You grab onto his shoulders, falling with him. His back hits the floor and you watch as the silver blood escapes his face and neck. This isn't how you wanted it to end. You cup his face, wanting to feel his warmth. But all there is is coldness. Your eyes are wet with tears and so are your cheeks. 

None drop off of your chin, none fall.

 They only pile up, like you're scared of crying. 

You've seen dead bodies before.

Why doesn't this feel any different?

You scream again, wailing loudly. Your eyes go red, burning and stinging in a sensation you can't believe. You cry over the pain, you cry over your purple fingers. You cry when you feel Maven's cold, dead skin. You remember how warm it was, how beautiful his lips were, his smile. 

Oh, his sweet, sweet smile.

The tears begin to fall in a way they never did before. They fell onto his face, his icy eyes looking up at the ceiling. Looking up to Heaven, where you hope he ended up. God help him. God help you.

On my knees

You look at Mare, eyes bleeding red. She breathes heavily, not knowing where anything is. With a broken scream, you crawl on top of her, grabbing the nearest object. A trophy, one you can recognize. 

It's the same trophy Jon gave you when you were a child, telling you one day it will help you and your lover be together forever. It was a trophy for murder. A trophy for winning the war.

It's the last thing Mare sees.

And as you bash her head in, seeing blood red, thick spray against it, it's the last thing you see too. 

On my knees

A simple Red storms into the room, her gun drawn. She sees you, crying on top of Mare's body.

The last living thing that kept her from destroying herself. The aunt of her child.

Farley pulls the gun onto you, looking at you as you put your fingers on the trophy. You don't try to throw it. All you do is put it down, crawling away from Mare. You never break eye contact with the one pointing the gun to your head.

"Don't move or I won't hesitate to pull the trigger." You can hear the pain and torture in her voice. You're suprised she can even control herself. You just scoot back, grabbing Maven's hand. Only then do you break eye contact with her, looking down at his dead face. You close his eyes. 

"Farley," you breathe. She tenses. 

Tears fall down your face.

Is this what it's like to accept your death?

You look at the trophy.

You and Maven will be together forever, in each other's hands, even in death.

Thank you, Jon.

"Shoot me."

Everything ends before you finish your sentence.

She didn't give you mercy. Nobody ever did. Nobody except Maven. And now, with your hands in his, you show him mercy for leaving your side. You stand with him in the clouds, looking down at the people beneath you. Everything is bliss.

Once more, you feel the feeling of Maven's warmth as his hands wrap around you. He can dream, and so can you. Is this Heaven or just your life flashing before your eyes? 

You sigh.

Jon looks up to the sky, a tear falling down his cheeks.

"Goodbye, kid.".

He can swear he heard your voice, whispering to him. 

Thank you, Jon.