(I almost cried twice writing this even though it's not that sad bro

MAVEN'S POV)

O my Queen, you have me as your faithful servant alone

On your first introduction as queen, you made me bow down and kiss your hand. I made eye contact with you the entire time. From the moment he first saw you, he knew he loved you. He didn't care that you considered evil. Other people didn't see you like he did. He wonders what it would be like if he was in your place. His parents dying, him forced to take the throne. Nothing would be easy. He doesn't blame you for anything that's happening. You're still a child. And so is he. 

O my Queen, to shield thee from danger's deadly call 

I will sin, I will kill, I will sacrifice my all

I made it my life's duty to protect you from the world. Anybody I even considered to be a threat, I didn't tell you about their request for a meeting. I didn't want you to hang out with my brother. I didn't want you to hang out with anybody. I just wanted you for me.

Even though I hate wearing this red vest every day, I wonder if it means anything to you. If only you knew what I was capable of. I may be a red, but I can do things you can't imagine any red doing. Would you want to hear about? Would you even care?

While running errands in a peaceful town nearby

You always asked me to follow you to the nearby village I was raised in. I get to visit my brother, a good part of the visits. But something bad them better. I met somebody there while you were getting lead around by Cal. I met a girl. A beautiful, small girl with the most charming smile. Mare. Something inside of me moved when I saw her. Did I love her? No... it's different than love. I know love. Because I love you. But what I feel about her is... different. How is it different? 

But no matter what I'm feeling, I'm happy that Cal found somebody to make him happy. Even if the fireworks will light off without me, I'm happy for him. Because that's all I can feel.

For the Queen gave orders, "The girl must die"

I remember holding your hand moments before it happened. I knew you loved Cal. I could read it in your eyes. Do you know how they felt? But I love you, I'll do anything for you. You squeezed my hand tightly, telling me to make sure she didn't make it out alive. Is it so bad that I listened? I ran out of the room and got what I needed before hurrying to the red's town. Heading to my town. 

I don't know why I did it. I could have faked it. I could have done something else. Is it so bad that I love you? I love you more I loved her. Because it's different. God, I wished it was different.

I will answer her wishes, her mind I will ease

Why was it so easy? I found her by herself, standing alone in a cemetery. And she saw me. She stood next to me, seeming to know her fate. Did she accept it? But she stood quietly with the wind of the sea as she told me about her father, and his grave that we stood in front of. 

I remember when it happened, too. I turned to face her. She turned to face me. She didn't smile, she didn't frown. But her mouth parted as she told me, "tell Cal that I love him." Why didn't she fight? What did she feel? Was it me? Would I be different if it was somebody else? But I drew my dagger any other way as I pressed it into her stomach. She placed her hands on my shoulders, accepting her fate with a grimace on her face. 

So why, my Lord, do my tears fail to cease?

I still can't believe that I cried. I hugged Mare close to me, and she started to smile as she hugged back. She coughed blood onto my coat as her warm innards poured onto my hand. And then she collapsed into my grasps, her head leaned back as I supported her. Why did it have to happen this way? Through all of my emotions and my grief, I cried, not wanting to let her go. 

But I did this for you, and I did this for her. My life is used to serve you, and I love it that way. 

When I returned I was drenched in blood. The other people didn't go out as easy as Mare did. I was sad, wondering if this was the right thing to do. You screamed. Why did you do that? Was it a scream of realization for what you asked me? Was it me? 

But then you kissed my cheek. It was the most pleasant thing you could have done. I felt rewarded. I felt useful in life. Do you understand what you do to me? Do you get that the things you do have consequences? 

People of the country were possessed with fear and rage 

Threatening to kill the Queen, to move on to a new age

I was downstairs when I saw it happen. I saw them coming from a mile away from outside the window. I knew they wanted you. Time was short. I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just let my first love die. I didn't think before I acted. And I'm happy I didn't. 

"Is there something wrong?" You ask me, resting your hand on my arm. I look at you. God, you're so beautiful. I stared at you for awhile. And as you inched towards me, I felt my heart break. How could I let somebody as beautiful as you die? It would be my fault if anything happened to you. I am your servant, after all. 

"Here are my spare clothes, now wear these and run

"Take off your dress," I tell you before taking off the cloak I wear over my shoulders. You are surprised, hesitant as you watch me. But you saw my eyes. My worried, sincere eyes. You didn't fully take off your dress. Only the top two layers. Leaving you in a short-sleeved white cloth that was flat and went to your ankles. I told you about the people coming, but I don't remember what I said. I don't remember anything. I don't want to. I don't my last moments to be filled with your tears. Because you cried. You cried more than I did. 

I put the cloak over your shoulders, putting the hood on as you strapped it together. And then I showed you what I could do. I'm a shapeshifter, I've known this since I was a child. And with this ability, I could match you and your current outfit. This is how it'll end. I want to do this, to save you. I love you more than anything. But I try not to think about your tear-drenched face. You are mature now, I can see it. You realize how this is going to end. 

"Maven," you let out as I dress in your previous attire. And quickly, I grab your cheeks with both of my hands. I look into your eyes. You're still beautiful, and you have the best disguise. 

"Whatever you do, don't let your smile, my sun, turn into icy tears," I whisper to you. And then you broke me as you pressed your lips against mine. It was the moment I wanted more than anything. 

No one would ever notice that you got away"

I broke the kiss before you. I placed my hands on your shoulders, pushing you behind me, towards the back door. I began to walk to the entrance, where the protestors would walk in. I let my hair out of the ponytail it was in and let your hair flow down. 

You looked back at me. What were you thinking? Were you happy you got to live? Would you replace yourself with me? I don't know which I would prefer. But this ending is the one that makes me happier.

But you ran away. You exited through the back, disguising yourself as another one of the servants. I smiled as I stood in front of the door. 

O now I am the Queen, and you the escapee

I tried not to let the tears through as I heard the pounding on the door. They're ramming their bodies into it. The door will soon break. But everything is fine. I'm calm. I'm happy. I'm just glad that you got away. I don't care what will happen to me. All I want if for you to be alive and happy.

And when I made eye contact with Heron for the last time, I smiled at her. She had the face of pure hatred. Who's the evil one, truly? I want to say to her. She looks at Cal, who I lift my hands to. I'm admitting defeat. It's scary, isn't it? I was a bit scared. 

"You're such a disrespectful man," I whisper to him. He grunts as he throws me forward. I almost trip, but I catch my balance. Like you, right? You never seemed to fall. You always knew what to do. I wish I could be like you. I hope you keep that spirit, even through the pain. And I hope you remember. You'll remember me, right?

Then I am evil as well, with the same blood in my veins

As I sit alone in the jail cell, I think over my life. My brother is across the room. I don't know how this makes me feel. I love my brother and I know that he'll miss me. Will he wonder where I am? I took away his lover and his brother. Why am I considered less evil than you? You should be glad that I'm evil, too. Maybe that's what brought us together. But in the end, I guess that's what tore us apart. 

I wait for the event. Will you be there to watch me fall? Will you cry? Or will you smile? Will you at least tell me that you love me? I never got to hear it. I never...

Never fear, never cry, I will always be near

My brother was the one that led me to my death. I wanted to say goodbye. I ached to tell him that he was the one I always looked up to as a child. I remember all of the great moments we had together. He taught me everything I knew, yet at my last moments, he glares at me. This isn't how I thought my life would end. But I'll say it again, I'm happy. At least you're safe. My job was to protect you. So I hope you'll stay out of danger. You'll do that for me, right?

The crowd was roaring by the time I walked out. I saw Heron, but I never looked at her. I didn't want to accept defeat. That's something you would do. I did everything she told me, though. I kneeled. I put my throat against the wood of the death machine. And at that moment, I saw you. I recognized your face even from under the hood. You were in the first row, right in front of me. Your eyes were wide, and you had tears in your eyes. No, no. Please don't cry. Everything will be okay. I promise I will always be with you. I promise. 

Let not your smile, my sun, turn into icy tears

I smile a sympathetic smile. And you smile to. Your eyes shake, threatening to let tears out. Your face, smiling and beautiful, was the last thing I saw before I died. I tried to make you laugh saying your line on my knees. But I didn't get to see your reaction. I didn't get to tell my brother I loved him. I didn't get to know if you loved me. I didn't get to protect you all through your life, but I did my best. I did my best and that's all that matters, right? But why couldn't I have done more? Why couldn't I have shown my love for you sooner? Would that have saved you? If I showed you that I could have filled your heart instead of Cal? What would have happened if I didn't immediately leave the room that day, with the dagger in my hand? Is this all of my fault? 

Maybe in a hundred years, when our souls get born again we can have another chance. Will we be friends? Will I get to tell you how much I love you? Will we be normal people, no queens or servants? I can only wish. 

I love you. Dear god, do I love you. I'm sorry.

Somehow in our next life, if we ever meet again 

Let us play together once more, and be the best of friends