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How does one know this is their bonded, AMA? Is it only by scent? Am I therefore doomed to never find love?
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[KAYOS ADREN PRIME]

I stare at her as if a ghost. Curled beside me like a dream, the only word fit to describe this vision of her.

Quiet as she sleeps, I am struck motionless, simply watching. Immobile at the weight of her presence.

Her scent is sweeter than the flowers that the endless grows to calm me, so much so, even they seem to tilt in a feeble attempt to touch the light coils of her hair, despite the non-existent breeze.

It knows.

The endless knows. She is something altogether different.

Hearing her voice was one thing, but seeing her in all her beauty, in these fields of peace is —ethereal.

I can not blink for I fear that if I do, I risk losing a second of all that is her.

I am breathless at the thought, breathless at the pure desperation in the notion.

I have kept away from her for four days, told myself I must see her soon, but in truth, I have been hiding. Hiding in the shallow grass and flowers of the endless.

I've been broken by Dane.

Sinking in a pit, deep and wide it tunnels me back to the endless and drives my wolf to the doors of insanity. It is the thought that I may not even be close to finding her.

Finding my mate. That is what has kept me here, away from Shade. For looking at her is torture. She reminds me I'm near and far from everything I desire. Her scent seduces and mocks me all at once.

And so, I sink into nothingness. In a place, I can not feel these things, even though I know the world is dark outside.

It seems I can not hide here in the endless. Not anymore. Not from her.

My gaze follows her as if entranced, every line, every curl. I find myself in disbelief.

She's here.

I breathe out lowly, my breath cool. Watching. Watching her.

To be in her presence is—it is utterly deceiving.

For I feel my heart betray me with every sighting of her. She is the key, and yet, her scent becomes more alluring the longer I stay in her presence.

Until I am simply trapped and I stare.

I stare.
I stare.

The shade of her lips—my head tilts, gaze gliding upward—the tangles of her hair, so thick, they cluster like grapes. The graze of her eyelashes round to the skin that puts the shadows of the endless to shame.

I can not breathe. I blink instead.

This trial that Selene has designed for me is.... beautiful. I am not certain if this means she despises me more than I know, or—the latter.

For this being before me—my breath is harsh against my lips, my wolf is a feral spark in the glint of my eye— will either guide me, or I will fail, and fall.

Fall.
Falling. gods, I am falling.

I stare at her, watch her breathe, delicate and alluring yet bold in her venture into the bowels of the endless.

My eyebrows gather.

No ordinary being can be here, at this moment as I am. Adeline was no ordinary being. She was bound to a being of chaos, that is what gave her access to the endless.

But what is her excuse? My eyebrows deepen.

No- what is her power?

I watch the flowers wane for her.

Power.

There is something different about her, far more than I ever thought, far more than I ever dared to perceive.

She is not a keffer.

The words are quiet. They come to me as silent as a whisper. A calm realization that stiffens my bones.

But before I can think of the depth of this statement, I catch the shift of her eyes beneath her eyelids, and the slight gather of her eyebrows, as if she feels the sun tickle her nose.

I hold a breath and watch as her eyes open slowly. It is as if the moment has been captured by time, and delayed, as if time itself has been deceived by her beauty. Allured and trapped.

I watch, as her eyes meet mine.

My throat runs dry, my heart pounds roughly within me. I am unsure of what comes next.

She does not know that she sleeps a hairsbreadth away from the dreaded Night Wolf. I know this and yet, I am anxious.

As if her thoughts of what I am, define me. As if, if ever hate for me grazes her eyes, I would simply fade. For nothing else would matter then.

She blinks as if her vision blurs, and then clears slightly, freely looking at me.

She stares, as I hold a breath, and then her lips rise—and she simply... smiles.

My heart drums.

All I think of is the trouble I am in.

"Hello." Her voice is soft and precious as she looks at me through eyes that carry my world.

I can barely hear my voice, gruff and low, "Hello."

Her smile widens, and then as if a dream, she is suddenly gone with the breeze.

Snatched away from reach.

My eyebrows deepen, sitting up, searching for her. I am aware I am breathing harshly, and I feel lost and angry. Across fields, across the endless.

But the whine of the flowers ensures me that their muse has long departed and, awoken back into her own world.

My heart sinks in realization.

I am alone again.

********

The sun's rays are evident through the windows of my study where I awake. The gleam of rings on my fingers where the light hits catches my attention, and I stare at the sight for a moment.

I am still breathing harshly from the encounter. My gaze finds the ceiling as my head rolls backward against my chair, my locks grazing my shoulders.

I take a deep breath in. Try to calm myself. My wolf. He is anxious. The sight of her, the sight of Shade in our endless excites him, just as much as it rattles me.

I catch sight of a shadow quickly flying by the window, but I brush it off, thinking only of her.

She spoke again. This time, we were face to face, inches away. No room for doubt that she had been there.

My breathing is quiet as I envision her. It is almost as if I can still see the world when it was just the two of us.

She is not a keffer.

"No," I think as I see her in my mind, the realization soft against my lips, "She is not."

A hard knock breaks me from my thoughts, Alchest crouched in the shadows of my desk, moving as I move, careful not to touch the sunlight.

"Elias," I state, startling the Guard before me in the doorway

He is stiff at my direct gaze, and lowers his head slightly, "Y-Your majesty," He salutes first, "the Grand Luna calls, Visitors from Greenwood."

I grow rigid, my wolf silent.

I do not say a word, moving passed the guard. I see Alchest following, a shadow against the walls.  For the first time, I feel I do not have a heartbeat at the news.

Greenwood. They are here.

I feel numb.

I catch sight of a shadow, different from Alchest again, following me, sloppily, to the point I find it rather disappointing. I enjoy a good spy. This is one is just lousy.

I holt, irritated spinning to my shadow in the middle of an empty hallway, "Do you know what I desire for breakfast, Achest?" I grit.

The shadow slinks, listening.

"Raven."

My gaze shoots to the creature, that Alchest catches lingering in the hallway, hissing at him.

"Stop it, stop it!" it squeels, as Alchest guides it towards me with snarls and hisses, trapping it at all sides. Until it is inevitably is brought to my feet.

I roll my eyes as it squirms using it's green hat to fight against the shadow, rather foolishly.

Only light can touch shadow, and fire chases it away.

"For honeys sake! I'm moving! No claws!" it screeches until it bumps my feet.

It freezes at the feel of me, turning to look at me sheepishly, red outlining is cheeks, rosy and full, backtracking slightly.

I tower over the sprite, a looming figure, a red ring in my eyes as my wolf surfaces only for a moment as if to take a glimpse of the fuss.

He stares at me wide-eyed, tucking its green hat before him, hands tightly gripped around it, "y-your majesty." he gulps, "you look-well."

I am not impressed, "Are fairies now spying on wolves, Diane? Should I add another enemy to the list?"

My growl deepens, "I can make a good example out of you."

The faerie shakes his small head ferociously. To the point I felt he would unscrew it altogether.

He looks at the ground, then back at me, letting out a breath. He seems to gather himself and walk taller, like a little messenger, only I can only see the top of his head, "I-I am here for my master."

I raise an eyebrow at this.

He looks at the ground again, and sighs once more, looking up at me. He has to bend his head all the way because he is so small, and I am so tall.

"For goodness sake," he grumbles, "I can not believe..." he purses his lips, and lowers his head one more time, shaking it and then raises both his arms, "up please."

I am confused.

His head lifts watching me, quiet embarrassed it seems.

"Up please!" he calls again, wiggling his arms, "I can not talk to you like this, your majesty, quite frankly you're a giant."

My gaze zeroes down on him disbelief.

"Please, this is already quite embarrassing as it is." he huffs.

I roll my eyes.

The faerie will only be more persistent and since I can not get rid of him my way, the quicker I listen, the quicker I am not being stalked by the worst spy to ever exist.

I pick him up by the scruff of his shirt ignoring his arms. He protests at the beginning and then simply hangs grumbling at as I quote, 'the things I do for Shade."

Bringing him to eye level, I watch as the faerie hangs limply, looping around to face me, slowly mid air.

"Really?" he grunts, "I know I said up but I feel like a hangman."

I can not do this. I am growing impatient.

I set him near a ledge, and he pulls down his shirt, huffing and puffing as he does so, "thank you, much better," he sings.

"Diane," I grunt, impatiently, "is there a reason you're stalking me?"

The faerie freezes and then a blush returns to his face, but he clears his throat, seemingly gaining composition, "Well, since you've asked. S-Shade has asked me to keep an eye on you."

I stare at the creature. My features are blank.

"Y-your majesty.." he adds, trailing off, his voice is no more than a squeak.

"Why?" I grit.

He blinks, and then shrugs, "She worries."

The word catches me off guard, "Worries?"

"Rather hilarious I know," Diane chuckles, "I myself was amused when it was suggested," he grins, "Worried about the prince of shadows? Oh, I love her, bless her heart, but she is clueless," his hand leans against the ledge, as he talks,  "Me? Watch over the prince of shadows? Ha! He watches over the whole realm! What is my skinny self and bony wings going to do with Prince of Shadows? Keep an eye on him. I'm about to lose my head! Ugh- they speak of the goodies of being named but they never tell you how hard it is to be a bound to a human!" his gaze flashes to me, a tiny bit of spite in his voice.

"I suppose it's your fault. She doesn't know the man she calls master is the King of Night, prince of shadows, Deaths right hand," he blabs on, seemingly forgetting his fear the more he talks, "keeper of shadows, destroyer of-"

"Why does she worry?" I ask, I can not describe why my chest grows warm, "Masters are hard to kill, boodlines too strong to simply take ill. She has nothing to be worried of."

The faerie freezes for a moment, then clutches his hat tighter, "Well, I-I suppose it is because she hasn't seen you for days. As a friend, she cares, therefore she simply—worries."

I stare at the faerie for a moment, and then straighten my back, the thought settling deep within me. It makes my chest grow warmer.

Once again I feel foolish.

I have been caught wallowing in my own pain, I have forgotten that even though Shade maybe a trial, she is something equally important. A friend.

My first. My only.

A friend who worries about me when I do not show up. When I trap myself in the endless. Someone who notices my absence, and actually wants my presence.

One who....cares for me.

It stings me at the sudden realization that she may think of me as often as I think of her.

If she worries, then she does.

My gaze drops to the floor. The feeling inside me now is a soft burn.

I like it. I like it a lot.

"You did not mean it, truly when you said you wanted Raven for breakfast did you, Your majesty?" Diane's squeeks, and then he shakes his head, "You must know it's a peasants delicacy, truly not fit for a King. Besides, my bones are too brittle, and my flesh to little, look at me? I'm skinny! I am not an enjoyable meal, I strongly assure you-"

A scent reaches me, and I pick up the faerie that squeels, "at least cook me!" he yells, "I demand to be served with dignity! A sauce perhaps! A squirt of lemon!"

I drop him into my pocket. And he grunts, fighting against the fabric, "to the pot then?" he cries.

I hush him quiet.

"Kayos, there you are! My favorite Arc."

The faerie immediately stops moving, as the scent of the Arc, becomes stronger. I roll my eyes, turning to look at Vaeln.

"And...you've returned," I mumble. How unfortunate.

"Indeed," he grins widely, "Gail is here too. Safely tucked beneath Aleya's wings where I know she's safe away from your claws."

I grunt at this. But do not respond. If anything, I would appreciate not seeing another Arc with his mate for the next five years.

His gaze moves to the ledge for a moment. I know that he can sense the light traces of magic that Diane left behind, but he has no understanding of the scent. And my wolf can hide Dianes as he hides in my pocket.

His gaze narrows on the ledge before seemingly snapping out of it, eyes shifting to me momentarily, "We're you talking to someone?"

I do not respond. Even if it was not Diane, it simply was none of his business. I did not delight in small talk either way.

Alchest scampers between us, which alarms Vaeln, causing him to shiver for a moment, "Shit, Shadows!" he growls, his gaze followingthe creature, until he disappears Into the walls.

He looks at the ceiling taking a breath, before his eyes meet mine, "Ofcourse, I am in the Night Court. Plenty of shadows..." he grunts.

His eyes seem to search as if another might dash through, and then he simply lights the hallway, making it as bright as if day had been trapped inside my walls, "better."

I glance at this, but ignore him, walking passed him.

"Do not be mad, Kayos, I know you like your space, your territory, and treaties, far too obsessed, in all truth," he huffs taking long strides to catch me.

A globe of light illuminates our way ahead of us as we walk.

"But soon you will share a bed with someone and these walls will be filled with the laughter of children in a few years..." he trails off when I stop in the middle of the hallway, and look at him, not at all amused.

Just because Mother has invited him, doesn't mean I have to deal with him.

"Have you nowhere else to be?" I growl. Would I suffer his company until the tribunal? If so, death should come sooner.

"Yes, it seems Vivian has much to do with you." he mumbles in reply.

Vivian. I have not thought of her name since it was introduced. How he knew her name was beyond me.

He catches me stiffen. Vaeln is always alert.

"Oh, Don't be angry," he buffs, "Aleya may have let it slip. Know that your mother is quite excited to have a daughter, an Arc Luna in the Night Court. They are talking about everything," He pauses, his tone quieter, "I can not even get a moment with her."

I do not fail to catch the longing in his tone.

It reminds me that even though he found his mate what felt like eons ago, being away from Gail seemed to frustrate him, even if in truth, she was only a few doors away.

That was the power of the bond.

It made me think of Shade.

Her scent was as if my mate, an almost identical mimic, and though we were not bonded she somehow could descend into the endless.

How simple thoughts of her brought a certain warmth within me and perhaps even a spark of longing, but even though I was drawn to her in ways I can not articulate, I hesitate.

I glance at Vaeln as he talks about things I do not quite register. I know that when he found Gail, there were no hesitations. No what-ifs.

It was instant. As it was with Xiirian and Adeline, As it was with my mother.

My gaze moves forward.

The thought is cold, icing over the warmth that Diane's words of Shade's worries had left.

That is how I know Shade is only the Key, for had she been the one, truly, had she been her— a dangerous dark feeling sparks in me momentarily. Laced with the darkest shade of insanity—

There would simply be no hesitation.

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I'll probably update the next chapter on Patreon tomorrow. It's already done, but I'm not too sure I like how it sits just yet, so I'm giving it a couple of hours to marinate lol. I hope you enjoyed this update. Thank you for all the comments and the get-well wishes! I read each one! I appreciate it.❤️
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