Not edited 🙃

He couldn't quite completely comprehend everything that had just happened. His mind in a state of panic and urge to protect blacked it all out. All he remembered or could was the pain in those beautiful eyes that were looking at him like he was a monster and he supposed he was one.

He was a monster. A beast. A animal.

He attacked his mate, his omega, the one baring his pup and he felt utterly and completely pathetic. He deserved this pain, deserved this self hatred tearing at his insides. His alpha cried to him to chase, to race after his omega but he didn't have the strength. He was drained, he couldn't even move from where he sat hunched over on his knees where Jimin left him.

His mark ached, pulsated and yearned for his mate that wasn't here. And he wasn't sure if he was ever coming back.

"Fuck! Fuck!" Jungkook screams till his lungs burnt, his fists were clenched and he bolts up slamming his fist into the wall.

He punches and punches until his knuckles ache and blood is smeared across the dent in his wall. He didn't even flinch nor feel the pain, he was numb to it all but the pain invading his heart.

"Ahh! You're fucking stupid!" He's never felt so broken, he wasn't a man who cried but for Jimin he did.

He replayed it over and over in his head, every time more painful than the last. He didn't know what came over him, all he could see was red and he allowed rage to take over him. He'd never hurt Jimin, not intentionally because he loved him and he promised to protect him but yet he did hurt him and that tore him up inside.

Tears swelled in his pale eyes, they dripped down glossing his cheeks. He bangs his head against the wall, crying out, fist clutched soaked in blood. He out of self hatred liked the pain pulsating from his hand because he knew he deserved it. He deserved to hurt, deserved this sorrow and self loathing.

Jungkook sunk down the wall, blood trailing behind he just cried and cried. He had no idea how long he laid there, drowning in his pain and realisation he's destroyed the first real good thing in his life.

What did he have now? Nothing. He was all alone the way he deserved.

•••

Jimin had so many thoughts and emotions running ragged through his foggy brain. His heart ached in so many ways he couldn't quite comprehend it all. He'd sobered up immediately, any alcohol in his system had all but gone. It was replaced with hurt, guilt and fear as he had no idea what to do.

His mate hurt him, Jungkook the alpha he thought loved him pinned him to the wall and choked him until he couldn't breath. When he thought about it to long he could still feel his fingers wrapped around his throat squeezing. He clutched his stomach, wrapping his arms around in almost a protective manner. This was the first time he's felt anything towards the pup growing inside him.

For the first time he felt the urge, no the need to protect his unborn child. He couldn't allow them to face the same abuse and pain he was force to endure. They deserved better than that, better than the life he had.

"Here, I've made you a hot chocolate." A mug appears in front of his face, piping hot with two marshmallows.

"Thanks." Jimin takes it, he settles it on his thighs simply staring at it.

His head hurt, pounded cruelly reminding him of the sins he's committed as a pregnant omega. He's already let his child down and it hasn't even been born yet.

Was he a bad parent? Maybe.

"Do you want to tell me why you called or is it a don't ask don't tell situation." The alpha took a seat opposite him, his own mug in his hand.

Jimin hasn't spoken much since he'd been picked up, he didn't have the courage or heart to tell the truth because he of course knew he was the reason for all of this. He was the reason Jungkook was upset, he was the reason he lost his temper and did what he did. He was the one who came home late drunk smelling of another with an unborn child growing inside him.

Now his mind had cleared he could see the mistakes he made, the decisions he made that brought him to this point and lead to the events that occurred. He shouldn't have drunk, he shouldn't have dismissed Jungkook like he did. He should never have tried hiding the pregnancy or the termination. He knows that now, seeing the pain and hurt in Jungkook's eyes when he found out crushed him. He could see the anger, the betrayal, the pure and unforgiving rage that enveloped because he's seen it before.

He's seen that same fury in his father and that was unforgivable. He's never been scared of Jungkook but in that moment, in those bleak seconds he was and now that's all he could see when he thought of him.

Those cruel eyes that taunted him and pierced his soul until it was engraved with fear.

"I'm pregnant." Jimin didn't even bother looking up from his mug, he just waited for his response.

"Pregnant?" The alpha said more shocked than anything.

Jimin nods, he supposed he wasn't smelling to pleasant so it was hard to sniff out. He stuck of bitterness and sorrow nothing like a newly pregnant omega should.

"Why don't you smell happy about it? Shouldn't you be telling Jungkook?" Jimin unconsciously winces at the mention of his name, his neck aches in memory.

"Jungkook won't be apart of the pups life, I don't want him to be." Those words did hurt coming out of his mouth but how could he allow him back when he no longer trusted him.

"Why? Did he do something? Has he tried to hurt you?" The alpha's tone goes darker, Jimin could smell the change in his once soft pheromones.

Jimin wasn't sure whether he should tell the truth or simply lie. If he told the truth he'd have to reveal the disgusting actions of himself along with Jungkook's.

"No! No. He hasn't." Jimin lies. Does he lie for himself or for Jungkook?

"You'll tell me if he has right? Because I'll beat that alpha no problem." There was some truth to that statement if not all as he really would.

"Yeah, I know Yoongi." Jimin takes his first sip of his drink, it was sickly sweet just how he liked.

He'd called Yoongi because he felt he could trust him and he knew if he went to his brother he'd lose it and probably kill Jungkook. As much as he was angry at Jungkook he didn't want him being beaten or abused.

"So, why aren't you with him then? I picked you up from his house right and you smelt scared and looked it." Yoongi could smell fear a mile away and he knew something happened but he wasn't sure Jimin would tell.

"I fucked up. I did something I shouldn't have which made Jungkook mad. And when he's mad he's not the same man I fell in love with. He's scary and now I don't think I can go back to him." Jimin hadn't realised but he started crying, stray tears began dripping down his cheeks.

The second he does he quickly wipes them away, hating appearing weak especially in front of an alpha regardless if he knew them or not.

Yoongi instantly goes out to comfort him, squeezing his trembling hand that clutched his thigh.

"I have to think about the baby and what's best for them. I have to stop being selfish and realise this is happening. I'm pregnant and I need to start thinking about them instead of myself." Jimin glances down at his belly, it was still flat showing no signs but soon he knew he'd being growing.

"Whatever Jungkook did doesn't justify his actions Jimin. An alpha is supposed to protect their omega not scare them." Yoongi tries masking his anger, he keeps his scent calming wanting to keep Jimin feeling safe. Yoongi puts his cup down, he gets up to walk over to Jimin.

Jimin barely nods, he understood he was right but maybe in this scenario he wasn't. Because maybe he deserved it, maybe Jungkook's actions were justified. He did consider aborting their child without even consulting him. He could understand why he would be upset because ultimately it's as much Jungkook's child as it is his.

Jungkook has a right to make decisions about their child, he is the father and probably will be a better one than he'll ever be. Jungkook has money, a nice home, the links to get their child into any school they could dream of. He had nothing to offer but a shitty apartment and a father who works in a small cafe with no prospects but just that. He couldn't be a good father like Jungkook could be. He knew that but he also knew he'd never lose his tempter like Jungkook does. There will never be any threat to the child's life with Jimin because he would never hurt him but now with everything he's not sure Jungkook offers the same safety he does.

"What if Jungkook's actions were justified and I deserved it? What then? Am I the bad guy or is he? Because right now I think I am and he's the good guy suffering because of it." Jimin didn't know where he stood nor where Jungkook did. He knows he's made mistakes and so has Jungkook. But is Jungkook the only one that deserves to be punished for that or does he deserve it too.

He loves Jungkook he really does. No alpha has ever taken care of him like he has. He's the first genuine alpha he's met in a world full of cruel ones. He makes him happy and knows exactly the right things to say to make him smile which is rare. Most people annoy him if they aren't his brother or his father.

He's always struggled opening up and finding connections with people because he's so closed off to the world. It's a subconscious thing he's grownup with in an abusive environment. It's always been hard and most people give up on him when they don't break through right away but Jungkook was different. He didn't give up he kept pushing and pushing until he broke those walls and rebuilt them with a wide open door.

Jungkook was the first alpha he loved and he like everything else in his life had to ruin it. He had to take a good thing and burn it to the ground until nothing was left but ashes that could never be put back together. But he wondered if it was worth trying, worth putting back together in hopes it'll stay up.

"Jimin, no matter what you've done there's no excuse for laying a finger on someone else, whether you deserved it or not." Yoongi pulls Jimin into his arms, his scent stuck of pain and it stained the room.

"But I did deserve it Yoongi, I did."

......
Imma just leave, I'll see you when I'm done crying

Love you my honeybuns♥️