Amy POV

Slowly I got up from the bathroom floor and flushed the toilet. I went to the sink to brush my teeth, but at the sight in the mirror I froze for a moment. I looked awful. But then... Not as awful as I felt.

A tiny little part of me was waiting for the possibility that I would eventually be happy about this baby, but so far it wasn't the case. On the contrary, I was getting more and more scared. I had no idea how I was going to get through this pregnancy. What could I do? My guilty conscience was already weighing heavily on me.

When I was done, I dragged myself into the living room to curl up on the couch. Ideally, I would have liked to bury myself in the ground until it was over. I didn't want to have to answer any questions. It had been bad enough when I told Kyle. Now he knew everything. And I was sure he thought I was a bad person. I mean, how could he not? When I thought of myself as one. 

He tried to convince me otherwise, but what else could he have said? At least he would be there for this child. I was convinced of that. He would give everything so that the baby would be happy and content.

If only I could do the same... I would like to have the confidence to be a mother. But the fear of not loving my child was stronger. By staying away, I could do no harm. What the child did not know, it could not miss.

I was about to fall asleep when the doorbell rang. At first I tried to ignore it, but whoever was at the door just didn't seem to give up. With a grumpy growl, I got up to open the door.

"Kyle, what are you doing here?" I asked tiredly when I saw who it was.

"Hi Amy. I wanted to accompany you to your appointment later and I brought you some food." he explained, lifting a bag so I could see it.

"Oh um.... come in." i said and stepped aside to let him in.

"Do you want me to warm something up for you?" he asked as I lay back on the couch.

"No. I'm not hungry." I mumbled, pulling the blanket up under my chin.

"Have you eaten anything at all today? You look pale." he replied, sounding concerned.

"I haven't. It's all coming back up anyway," I said.

"Honey, I know morning sickness is probably pretty nasty, but you need to eat. For you and the baby. I made breaded chicken breast for you. Maybe it will help soak up some of the acid," Kyle said.

And even though I didn't want it, my stomach grumbled. He was probably right that I should try it. I sat up.

"Okay, I'll try it. You don't happen to have any tomato rice with you?" I asked with a little smile.

"Oh yes, I do. And the broccoli with sesame seeds that you like so much," he replied and immediately went to the kitchen to prepare something for me to eat.

I heard him rummaging through the various cupboards before I heard the microwave. It wasn't long before he came back into the living room. In his hands was a tray with more than just a plate of food on it. There was also a glass of milk and a bowl filled with watermelon. Suddenly I was starving. Even though I would never admit that to Kyle.

"Thank you." I said as he carefully placed the tray on my lap.

"You're welcome." Kyle replied with a happy grin as he sat down next to me.

"I forgot what a good cook you are." I spoke as I took the first bite to see how my stomach liked it. It tasted delicious and my stomach seemed to agree.

"Well, I can at least do your favorites. How do you feel?" he wanted to know.

"I don't know," I muttered truthfully.

"We'll figure it out. I'll do anything to make you trust me, Ams." he replied.

"I... I trust you Kyle. But I don't want you to get your hopes up," I said, staring at my plate.

"One step at a time. I will not force you to do anything. I just don't want you to give up from the beginning. I think you owe it to yourself and to our baby to give yourself a chance. I understand that it's hard for you, that's why I will always be there for you. I will give you what you need. All you have to do is let me know what you need," he explained.

"Why are you being so nice to me after everything I said?" I wanted to know.

"There are... several reasons." he said hesitantly.

"Like what?" I pressed a little.

I heard him sigh deeply and lifted my gaze to look at him. It took a little while before he answered.

"Well... I don't want you to regret your decision someday. And besides... just because we're not a couple anymore doesn't mean I don't love you. I've said this before, if you remember. We broke up because we were mad at each other, not because our feelings disappeared." he explained to me.

"Kyle, I..." I began, but didn't really know what to say.

"It's okay. Just eat. I get it." replied Kyle, then looked out the window. He sounded sad and tired.

I remembered. He said he still loved me before we.... Before the thing at the restaurant happened. A lump formed in my throat that I couldn't do anything about and had nothing to do with morning sickness.