fire | a burning sensation in the body

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4/2/17

MUSIC BLARES THROUGH the speakers in the party bus. The deep bass and smell of weed mix to cause a buzz of thrilling anticipation in the air. Bodies dance together in the aisle as bottles are passed around and flasks are being filled to the brim in preparation for the rest of the night.

I sit near the window staring out at the dark night sky as my date sits next to me speaking with a teammate that sits behind us. A cheerleader who sits nearby has been flirting with him all night even though she has a date, but I don't even care.

Before I can stop myself my eyes flicker over to see Asher and Francesca at the front of the bus chugging expensive champagne from the bottle like it's water. My best friend looks unbelievably gorgeous tonight and with Asher on her arm she looks even better. Most guys went with the classic black tux and white shirt, some guys in white tuxes with black shirts, but Asher chose to wear all black.

It matches the dark glare of his eyes and only makes him look sexier.

His eyes meet mine from across the bus, the colorful flashing lights that line the ceiling splay across the hard line of his jaw. He stares at me for a single intense moment letting his gaze rake over me as if he's really looking at me. Taking me in and leaving me almost breathless before he finally casts his eyes away.

"Are you excited?" Kevin, my date, asks me laying a firm hand on my knee. I tense under his touch not liking his touch the way I crave Asher's rough fingertips against my soft skin.

I twist my head to look at him and his blonde hair and light blue eyes. He's cute; no he's actually extremely handsome. I should be excited to go to my senior prom, let alone to go with a hot football player who's going D1 next year at that. But I'm not.

"Yeah," I mutter with a nod and a forced smile.

"Good," he begins. "Tonight's going to the best," he declares before sliding his arm around my shoulders to draw me in.

I nod again unable to form words as he takes a pull from his engraved flask.

Dinner had gone by quickly earlier in the night. We went to an expensive steak house downtown and Kevin paid for my meal. But all I had wanted was to spend a few moments with my best friend, but she was engrossed with Asher the entire time. Giggling, playing with her shiny hair, sending him playful looks. I could barely eat half of my plate from the way my stomach twisted with nausea, shame, and ultimately envy.

My gaze falls back towards the window to see we are nearing tonight's venue. As soon as we pull up my eyes take in the trees lining the walkway that are decorated in twinkly lights and the entrance that is draped in sparkling gold.

The theme for prom this year is starry night, and our senior class went all out. We rented out the grand ballroom of this gorgeous hotel just outside Easton, and as it belongs to the father of a classmate we received a lot of leeway in the decorating department.

I hadn't realized how warm the bus was until I stepped out onto the sidewalk and a gust of wind chilled my flushed skin. Chills spread over my body as my date steps up next to me and links his arm with mine leading us inside. The sound of heels clicking against the tiled floor echo around us as we enter the hotel. We are immediately led straight into the ballroom and it's honestly breathtaking. Lights cover every surface creating a warm ambiance. The tables are covered in midnight blue tablecloths covered with little gold stars and candlelight centerpieces. Stars hang from the ceiling and gold streamers tangle with them to create a beautiful sky. It is beyond everything I could've imagined for a senior year prom.

We hand in our tickets one after another and all eyes seem to be on us. Or more accurately Francesca and Asher who are heading to a big table that she convinced a younger cheerleader to reserve for us. Kevin leads me past check-in to our table as I continue to take in the large room painted with gold and navy and dripping with magic.

Francesca comes up to me with a bright beaming smile and the lights hit her expensive dress perfectly to make it look as if she is dipped in liquid gold.

She grabs onto my arms with excitement pulling us slightly away from our intoxicated table. "Isn't this amazing?" she questions loudly over the music.

My eyes scan the room once more still in awe of how perfect it all truly is. "Yeah," I breathe in complete agreement.

"So much better than last year," she tells me with a roll of her darkly lined eyes making them stand out and almost look cat-like.

"Really?"

"Yes, best year to have you by my side," she says letting a smile lift her lips as she pulls me into a quick hug. I want to agree and say tonight has been the best night of my senior year by far, but tonight has lacked in almost every way.

Getting ready I thought it would just be us, but the entire cheer squad was at her house curling their hair and painting their faces in preparations for the night everyone has thought about for the past four years. On the bus I thought maybe we would be by each other, but Kevin pulled me towards his friend group in the back. Even at dinner I barely even got a few words to her. Heady resentment begins to fill my veins as I take in my best friend.

Why was I even here? Did she really even care?

A poisonous mixture of anger and jealousy begin to claw at my throat making me hot and forcing me to bite my tongue. I wet my lips to stop myself from speaking my thoughts aloud and ruining the night before it's even officially started. "Are you excited for king and queen announcements?" I ask instead of the ones that plague my head.

"Honestly?" she questions letting her teeth run over her mauve painted lips. "I barely even care," she confesses with a giddy smile.

"Since when?" I ask with furrowed brows. I almost have to stop myself from laughing at the incredulousness of her statement. Francesca Dadario not caring about winning the queen?

"After we are crowned Asher got us a room here for the night," she informs me eagerly with wide eyes.

Her words rock against the damn that's holding back the poison that's desperate to flood me. My teeth clench together and my entire body runs cold. "Really?" I grit out barely able to keep my cool and maintain my façade.

"Yes!" she bursts out with a little jump of joy. "I think tonight's going to be the night. I mean we definitely did stuff on spring break but we were so drunk he always stopped before we took that step," she tells me as images of spring break once again assault me. Their weeklong adventures were well documented on social media and if not my best friend made sure to keep me constantly updated.

I wet my suddenly dry lips. "But tonight he said it was going to happen?" I inquire pulling for more information.

"He told me it was going to be a special night," she states slowly as if I need to read between the lines. "I mean it's a little cliché, sex on prom night, but I just know it's going to be perfect," she says clapping her hands together.

Flames fan at my throat and prick at my eyes. "I'm happy for you," I say though it comes out strained and unnatural.

But my best friend doesn't notice.

"Going to seriously be the best night ever!" she exclaims. "Oh, I love this song, I'm going to grab Asher," she tells me, beginning to step away from me and towards the dance floor.

"Okay," I nod awkwardly as the warring range of emotions battle within me for power. To decide which one is going to take over and ruin everything around me until I'm nothing more than a ball of fire tearing apart the night before me.

"Find me to dance!" she calls out as she runs over to her date and drags him onto the packed dance floor.

"Of course," I murmur to myself letting sarcasm drip over the couple words.

Before I know it my date slides up next to me letting his hand land on my hip. I resist the urge to flinch out of his touch. "Here have a drink," Kevin offers me his cup of punch that I know has more than just punch in it. The football team spikes the drink every year the school doesn't even attempt to stop it at this point.

"I'm good," I politely decline, not wanting to be drunk tonight. Which is odd considering it's all I should want to escape the images of Francesca and Asher together. Them in each other's arms dancing to a romantic song. Images of them making out and having sex spread throughout my mind and a shiver of disgust winds through me.

"Come on have some fun," Kevin pushes pulling me in until I'm uncomfortably close.

I pull back slightly not liking the nearness, and the smell of his cologne rubs me the wrong way. It doesn't melt me and make me want to lean in and bathe in his warmth like Asher's does. No, it makes my nose itch and my body stand on edge. "I'm having fun," I tell him as annoyance begins to tinge my words.

"No you're not," he scoffs as he rolls his eyes. "Don't be such a prude," he comments snidely.

Shock courses through me as if a bolt of lightning has struck me, and I step out of his embrace. "Excuse me?" I question bitterly. "We haven't even been here twenty minutes," I tell him, confused by his rude remark towards me.

His crystal blue eyes roll over me as if I'm not even worthy of him or his time. "Asher was right about you," he states with a shrug before downing his entire cup of punch and letting the cup crinkle in his fist.

My spine stiffens at his words. "What did he say?" I ask letting my voice shake at the fear of what Asher could've said about me.

My exterior begins to crumble a bit as tears well up in my eyes. I take another step away from my date and before he can say the words that are certain to hit me in the heart and break me completely I am saved.

"Hey," Brooklyn's sweet voice comes out of nowhere. "Want to dance?" he asks with a small smile tilting the side of his mouth.

A relieved sigh flutters from my lips releasing the pressure from my chest and pulling my attention away from the asshole next to me. "Please."

"Whatever bitch," Kevin grumbles walking away. But it doesn't even matter because Brooklyn takes my hand instantly winding our fingers together and leading me away from my terrible date and towards the dance floor.

The floor is filled with teenage couples drunk and happy and dancing the night away. One slow song melds into another resonating from the speakers and Brooklyn keeps one hand entwined with mine as the other lands on my hip. My body doesn't tense under his touch, no I feel at ease. I feel safe. I slide my hand that isn't being held by his onto his shoulder and pull him close. To use him as a shield for my emotions as I begin to fray and fall apart in his arms.

I lower my head onto his shoulder trying to contain my wildly beating heart. "Thank you," I whisper to my friend who never ceases to amaze me.

"It's not a big deal," he responds, brushing me off.

"But it is," I admit, lifting my head to let myself meet his chocolate brown eyes that shine brighter with the golden lights that surround us. "This is the first time I've felt comfortable all night," I confess with a weak laugh continuing to hold the tears at bay.

His hand on my hip clenches a touch tighter at my words. "Then why do you hang out with those people?" he asks his words coming out rough and on edge.

I shrug slightly. "Franny set me up," I tell him, trying to remain casual. "And it's not like anyone was going to ask me," I divulge a touch self conscious at the truth of my words. My date may be a dick, but coming alone would be equally as bad.

Brooklyn pulls back so he can look at me. "That's not true," he fights back, coming to defend me even from my own words.

"It's okay..." I trail with a heavy sigh. "It's no big deal. I'm here. Just with a jerk."

"You deserve better Mae," he says adamantly.

I shrug as my eyes follow the flash of gold that is my best friend from across the room to see her dancing with Asher. She looks undeniably happy with him, and as he twirls her and pulls her close I can see them together. Without me interfering and ruining what was already written in the sky above.  "I don't think I do," I speak truthfully hating the darkness that twists within me at the memories of what I've done behind my best friend's back. The poison begins to fade and in its path all that is left is shame that makes my skin crawl.

"I'm sorry," he whispers as he leans into me so his forehead presses into mine. Our noses graze one another, and his hot breath mixes with mine until my body begins to calm, and my skin begins to hum under his touch.

"Why?" I question into him not comprehending why he's apologizing to me when he's giving me everything right now. My handsome friend pulls me closer and my eyes fall shut as we let the music lead us.

"I should've asked you," he says quietly into the bubble we've created on the busy dance floor. My eyes flash open and my heart stills for a moment at his words as I imagine tonight and what it could've been with him by my side.

Happiness washes through me at the idea and my hand on his shoulder moves so my thumb can graze the soft skin of his neck and my fingers run through the edges of his curly brown locks. Even somewhat tamed as they are tonight some strands still have a mind of their own.

I lift my forehead from his. "Brooks, I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to take me—"

He cuts me off before I can finish my sentence. "It wouldn't be an obligation," he states slowly as if he needs me to understand him. "It would be an honor," he adds.

"Brooks," I breathe, unable to form words at this moment.

"Let's just dance," he suggests and leans in slightly until our bodies are pressed up against each other and my head rests against his so my lips are near his cheek.

"Okay," I say quietly letting my words settle over us. The music sways our bodies until a sense of peacefulness begins to settle over my heart.

After a few slow songs the music begins to pick back up, and I pull back from Brooklyn.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom," I tell him with a toss of my thumb over my shoulder. I need a few moments to myself, especially after everything he just gave me. He gave me my perfect prom, my perfect senior year moment, and I need a second to myself to take that all in. "I'll be right back."

"Okay, drink?" he asks with a smile as he tucks his hands into his suit pants. I love that his tie is askew and that he's wearing converse and his pants probably need a hem. He is every bit the Brooklyn I grew up with, the Brooklyn that can still make me feel perfectly at home even now. Even in a dress, with makeup, and heels he makes me feel normal.

"Sure," I smile with a nod. "I'll be right back," I assure him before I step away from the dance floor.

With a permanent smile tattooed on my lips I make my way out of the ballroom to see one hallway I know leads to the front desk of the hotel and another hallway I assume leads to the bathroom. It's empty out here besides a few couples talking and the one drunkenly making out as if they are already in their room for the night.

My heels click against the floor as the music becomes a distance drum and as I take a turn someone grabs onto my arm and yanks me into a dark room. The hand is strong and holds onto me tightly letting their fingers sear my skin.

A frightened gasp lodges in my throat as my heart hammers into overdrive. I prepare to scream bloody murder when the door clicks softly behind me and the open window of the room allows the moonlight to illuminates my surroundings in what seems to be a small conference room. With my mouth agape my eyes land on tall, sexy, infuriating Asher Lawton.

"What the hell?" I yell at him shoving my hands into his chest hard enough he takes a couple steps back. "Stop doing that!" I shout angrily running my hand nervously over the red handprint on my forearm. As if he actually scorched my skin.

A smirk pulls at his lips as if he finds this hilarious. "Chill out," he drawls with a lazy shrug.

"God," I state, taking him in. His cheeks rosy and his eyes glassed over. "You're drunk," I say as if he isn't aware of his own state of intoxication.

A dark chuckle escapes lips. "And?" he questions as if he doesn't care. As if he never cares.

A part of me wants to stay and find out what this is about, but the larger part of me wants to go dance with my friend again. Wants to be around the only person who made me happy tonight. "I'm leaving," I tell him with raised eyebrows as I stalk towards the door to leave his ass behind.

But just as my hand is on the silver doorknob his words stop me. "To go hook up with Brooklyn?" he asks harshly.

"What?" I question beyond taken back by his accusation. I flip to face him in a hard whip.  "What the hell is wrong with you? We are just friends," I say letting my obvious anger coat my words.

"Well he wants more," he states as if he knows what's going on in Brooklyn's head at all.

I run my tongue over my teeth trying to keep my emotions from overflowing and spilling out. Because if they come out they will burn more than just me. "Okay," I voice with a  shrug.

Asher takes a step towards me. "I'm just warning you." His words almost make me laugh. Him warning me to stay away from Brooklyn when he is the one who I should've stayed away from. He is the one I ignored every single red flag for because he makes me feel wanted in a dark twisted way.

"Well, I shouldn't have to worry about that since you've obviously been telling people I'm a prude," I declare with arms out wide and thick irritation filling my tone.

His hardened bloodshot eyes trail up my body making me feel a touch vulnerable. "Well aren't you?" he laughs letting his black eyes hold mine and show the fire that's slowly building. I can see the flames growing and I know if I don't leave now I won't be able to stop what happens next. Stop the burn that will scar me in a way I already know I truly won't recover from.

"What?" I ask confused by his question.

He tilts his head and takes another slow, calculated step towards me. "Haven't slept with me yet," he states, raising an eyebrow at me.

His words crack the foundation in me and the tumultuous poison begins to leak. "Fuck you," I spit at him.

A wicked grin touches his pink lips as he lets his hands come together in a few slow claps. "Wow, didn't know you had that in you," he comments as if he's impressed by me. His little play thing. His toy.

"I'm leaving," I tell him but once again I am stopped. But not by words this time, by actions.

His hand lands on my shoulder. The heat from his palm spreads throughout me as soon as it touches me, igniting me. "No," he demands, his voice deep and daunting.

My body shakes faintly as my heart leaps into my throat. "You can't tell me what to do," I tell him angrily. "I'm not yours," I say letting my words come out broken and rough.

He lets go of me as I turn to face him as if I burned him. His face twists as if I've offended him. "You've made that abundantly clear Mae," he says using my nickname to create a distance between us. To act as if I'm not under his skin the way he's in my blood. "You don't want me," he finishes slowly with narrowed eyes and a locked jaw.

I step forward, but now Asher takes a step away from me. "That's not true and you know it," I tell him.

"Really because every time I've pushed you to step up and make us something you've backed down," he says stating the facts as he points a finger at me heatedly.

I shake my head. "You know why," I say, defending myself, protecting my heart. Protecting my best friend.

"Yes, Franny," he groans as if he doesn't care. "I know she's your friend and she likes me, but what about what I want?"

"You don't want her?" I question gently though my pulse beats harshly like a current in my veins threatening to wash up and drown me.

"No," he announces clearly.

"Why not?"

"Because I want you," he confesses and his words break through me and squeeze my heart until I can feel it beating throughout my entire body.

"Then why would you book a room here?" I push back with vengeance.

"Because if you don't want me I'll find someone else who does," he taunts back with words meant to strike me.

His words might as well have slapped me across the face so I go to do the same to him. To inflict the same level of pain on him that he's caused me. I lift my hand to bring it across his handsome face, but he stops me letting his hand wrap tightly around my wrist. Our eyes lock and my focus begins to turn blurry at the edges as my body pulses with aggressive need. My skin heats with untamed rage. I hate his words. I hate how far we push each other. I hate how he has his fingers burn so deep into me I can't stop myself from wanting more. Even when it hurts.

I don't know who moves first. All I know is that we come together in a collision of glittering lust and starved desire.

As soon as Asher's lips met mine I knew something was different. That this is different. He has always had the match in his hand ready to strike whenever he saw fit and this was it. The moment he will strike it, light it, burn me alive and I'd ask for more as long as he didn't stop.

The back of my thighs hit the conference room table as our lips battle each other. He loves that I don't give in right away, that I fight him for power and dominance. But we both know who wins in the end. Who's name I'll beg for more at the simple idea of more, harder, deeper.

His hands wind through my hair, which is pinned up, and tear the curls down so the simple brown strands are falling down my back. His lips don't stop their vicious assault on me. He kisses me as if he's been stranded in a desert for years and I'm his first taste of water. He's gulping me down and swallowing me whole and my body flushes even more at the idea that he can't get enough. That I'm who he's starved for, because at times I worry I'm the one who craves him a lethal amount.

My blood boils under my skin and every single touch from him feels like he's touching all of me at once. Every freckle, scar, and faded tan line.

Asher's hands push at the skirt of my dress until his rough fingertips are trailing up my thighs. He finally breaks the drugging kiss letting my lungs get a taste of the air they've been burning for.

"I can't stop," he admits his voice guttural and deep as if he's barely holding on as if he's at his wits end.

His teeth slide across my neck and my entire body shudders as his finger traces the soft fabric of my thong. Teasing and playing with me until my mind becomes a hazy mess of wild need that stirs a deep ache within me.

"Then don't," I whisper, letting my neck fall back so he has full access to do what he wants to me. To use me. To mold me. To make me his.

That line I created begins to fade and fade until all I can see is Asher. Until all I want is Asher. Until I can't think a single thought beyond him and me right now in this dark room.

He continues to brush his fingers at the edges of my panty line refusing to give me what I truly want. What we both want by the thick ridge in his pants pressing up against me.

Asher's lips meet mine again as a groan tears from his chest and vibrates against my lips. It's electrifying, every touch and kiss by him. His hands wind deeper in my hair to pull at my locks so I'm at his mercy. The touch of pain tingles my scalp and spreads through my body only making me clench my thighs around Asher's body.

"Unzip your dress," he demands darkly against my lips remaining a hair's breadth away, and my body arches wanting him even more.

"You do it," I fight back loving the tension that builds between us when we play this game. When I play his game. A game I'm certain I will lose but when he touches me I'm drowning in his touch. Drowning in the wildfire he stokes to life between us, and I'm gasping for air but all I can inhale is his dark smoke. The smoke that feeds the poison and stirs the darkness  within me.

"Maeleigh," he growls my name out using his teeth to tug at my bottom lip. I moan into him realizing how completely he's consuming me. I feel like I'm falling without looking where I may land.

I should be scared and I kind of am, I acknowledge, but most of all I'm aroused and needy in a way that sends liquid adrenaline racing through my veins.

He grunts with frustration but that doesn't stop him from taking what we both can't stop from happening. His finger traces down the center of my underwear and my hips jerk in his direction and I reward him with a moan.

"Ash," I let out breathlessly.

That's all it takes. A single word. A Name. The name I gave him when we were covered in flour and sugar and singing along to bad pop music. The name I gave him as this twisted relationship we have began to coil and break into something more. Something bigger than us.

Asher becomes frenzied as he tugs at the straps of my dress until he can tear the top of my dress down so my chest is bare before him. His dark eyes zero in on my exposed skin and a grin pulls across his face as if he's happy there isn't a bra separating him from what he truly wants. He lowers his head to allow his lips to tease the sensitive skin of my breasts as my hands begin to undress him. I tug at his black button-up and begin to unbuckle his slacks.

With every kiss, lick, bite I feel myself spiral out of control. Every touch sears me leaving a trail of embers biting against my pale skin. In this moment I realize how cold I've been, how frozen, until he touched me and brought me back to life. Breathed fire into me.

My hand snakes into his slacks and dives under his boxer briefs to wrap my fingers around the one piece of his body I have yet to have but my body ignites for.

"Shit," Asher grits out as if he's so on edge he's about to break. "I need you," he tells me as he tugs my underwear to the side to allow his fingers to create magic.

"Yes," I agree, letting my eyes close as he continues to touch me, but it's not enough. It's never been enough because only one thing will fill the ache that resides within me.

Before I know it he shifts me closer to the edge of the table and I feel him where I've never felt him. My eyes lock on his and my arms slide up his body until I'm gripping his shoulders. His black eyes hold mine as I trail one hand under his button-up letting my fingers graze his smooth skin. I lift my other hand to let my thumb trail over his perfect bottom lip, and with a smile I nod.

With that singular movement he shifts and I swear the entire world falls away. "Fuck," he groans loudly as he sinks into me in a single thrust. I've never felt so full, so stretched, so perfectly complete I'm almost on edge with wanting more and wanting him to stop.

We are joined in a way I never thought we would be. In a way we shouldn't be. But how can I be pulled towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles? He says he's bad and he's pulling me towards hell, but if this is hell then this is all I want.

"More," I tell him with hooded eyes. "Please," I beg lifting my hips ever so slightly so he pushes even deeper into me and my head starts to spin as a white hot sensation begins to zip through my body. I thought I knew blazing fire and blinding pleasure. But I now know I knew nothing when it came to this man. With his kisses he's doused me in gasoline, and with his touch he's lit the match, and with a thrust he's set me on fire until I know I'll become nothing more than flickering embers.

He grips my hips and pounds into me unapologetically letting the table rock into the wall and create a dull thud in the room that resonates through my heart. Both my hands snake around his neck, pulling him into me silently begging for more as my nails dig into his skin.

In a sudden flash stars fill my eyes as my head falls back and I scream Asher's name. I moan for more. I beg for more. I shout for more. I need it all as he pushes me over the edge until I'm crashing as a fire blazes throughout my entire body turning me into a trembling mess.

He follows right behind me as his lips press into mine and he whispers my name with a harsh groan as if I'm his most treasured possession. He finishes and he wraps his arms around me and as he strokes my sweaty back I revel in the emotions that spiral deep in my stomach and resound in my heart.

"I want you," I admit quietly into the dimly lit conference room that has changed everything. "Like as my....as my boyfriend," I clarify, opening up my heart and waiting for the rejection that's bound to happen.

"From the moment I saw you in my bathroom you've been mine Maeleigh," he responds letting his lips graze my jaw.

My heart soars and my body tingles and sparks light me up until I'm weightless. I feel everything in this moment, but I also feel nothing. I'm aflame and I'm numb.

I'm burning and I'm falling in love.