glint | a person's eyes shining with a particular emotion

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1/31/17

"YOU KNOW THAT doesn't mean anything, right?" Asher asks with a slightly hardened tone as he pulls up to my house to drop me off from our shopping adventure.

I clutch the bag in my hands, pulling it into my chest lightly at his words. Because I know it doesn't mean anything, and yet I hate that his words prick at my heart.

"I know," I state simply as my head turns to take in the attractive man next to me.

His gray eyes roll over me like clouds on a storm filled day. His jaw hardens just a smidge as he takes me in before he faces his steering wheel once again. "Good," he tells me as his hands slide over the wheel, his knuckles whitening from his grip. I don't know what has him wound, but it's tight and he seems ready to pop at any moment.

Ever since we left the mall we've barely exchanged any words besides my quiet directions to my small house. I didn't mind the silence that surrounded us, but now I'm worried something really is wrong. And the crazy part is I'm not even worried about losing him as a friend, if I can even call him that. I'm worried about losing the one thing that makes me feel on edge in the best way possible.

"Just want to make sure you're not falling for me," he teases but his words come out terse.

I bark out a dry chuckle. "I would never," I tell him honestly. Because I truly believe I could never fall for my best friends biggest crush, let alone Asher Lawton as a whole.

He turns his head sharply at my words as his eyes narrow ever so slightly. Like my words angered him, which is odd considering I'm agreeing to never fall for him. Just like he wants. But maybe, just maybe he wants me to fall for him just to prove to himself that everyone falls for him.

Asher's hand shoots out and before I know it his fingers are caressing my cheek causing me to involuntarily lean into the warmth of his large palm. His simple touch on my skin ignites a heat that spreads throughout my whole body.

His face is confused, angry, tempted, and everything in between as he continues to stroke my cheek with his thumb and watch me. It's as if he's at odds with himself, which if anything I should be the one in that position.

Before I can process what's happening Asher leans in, and leans in until his lips are a single breath away from mine. Away from a kiss. A kiss I know would ruin me, but ruin me in the most beautiful and destructive way possible.

So I pull away as Asher's eyes lace with confusion. Because I know I won't survive that, and because my best friend means everything to me.

I back out of his grasp and away from his perfect lips that I know would kiss me the way I've secretly dreamed of being kissed.

"I'm sorry," I whisper in the suddenly confined space shaking my head. I wet my dry lips and clear the emotions that flood my throat. "I can't," I tell him before I run out of his car and into my house.

I wake up from the vivid memory of how the events ended for me a couple of days ago. Sweat lines my forehead and my shirt feels damp against my clammy skin. Remembering what I did that day makes my skin crawl with embarrassment, but also a weird tingle of excitement because I've never done anything like that with anyone.

I don't push the boundaries with anyone or in any relationship. If I do it's in the smallest way possible and only with my best friend. But Asher, he challenges me in a way that makes me want to not push, but shove back. Prove I'm not just the girl in a corner who's beyond quiet and can't think for herself.

So I let Asher get under my skin, and let him pull slowly at the strands that are beginning to unravel in me.

I pull myself out of my comfortable bed with a groan, and toss my hair up in a messy bun as I begin to get ready for the morning. Another day of high school, another day of feeling awkward when surrounded by people who don't know me and don't care to.

The closet clicks when I pull it open and I can't stop my eyes from falling to the small bag I shoved into the back of the closet. The bag filled with a certain black nightie, something I'll never put on and should forget. So I hide it.

I quickly pull on some patchy boyfriend jeans and a loose rose-colored sweater that gently falls off my freckled shoulder. I slide on a pair of sandals and head downstairs to be greeted by the smell of eggs and bacon. I turn the corner to see my mother at the stove flipping some bacon as a plate of scrambled eggs and golden brown toast sits next to her at the table.

"You must be in a good mood," I comment as I grab a plate and begin to load it up with delicious breakfast food.

My mother gives me a confused look. "What do you mean?" she questions as she flips the burners off and pulls the bacon onto another plate.

"You haven't made me breakfast in..." I trail off not even remembering the last time she did this for me. Dinner, yes my mother cooks me that meal all the time and she's a great cook honestly. But neither of us are really morning people, which means neither of us are usually up early enough to cook elaborate breakfasts. "Too many years to count," I joke.

My mother shrugs. "I don't know I just felt like it," she reasons without making eye contact with me. "Is that okay young lady?" she questions giving me a teasing glare.

"Of course," I tell her not really caring about the reason behind her sudden burst of morning energy. "I love breakfast food, I just don't usually eat it in the morning," I play, hinting at my hatred of rising with the sun as my mother chuckles at my words.

"Your semester going well?" my mother asks as she creates a sandwich from the eggs and bacon. Smart woman.

"Yeah," I sigh. "Just ready to graduate," I say honestly as I pick at my bacon. I'm not ready to leave the comfort of my best friend and my mother, but in a way I am. I'm ready to take a leap and move somewhere completely different from what my whole life has been. Somewhere far from Easton.

And I hate to admit that that feeling didn't really settle in me until Asher saw me and decided to find me interesting. He made me realize what else is out there in the world, and what I'm missing. And that maybe I can be something more than what I've always been in this small town.

"I just can't believe you're going to school so far away," my mother comments as she gives me a proud, but sad glance. I know me deciding to go to school far away hasn't been the easiest on my mother, it's been her and me for the last seventeen years. And I wouldn't have it any other way. But she always pushed for me to take risks, and I never really have.

But when it comes to college, I did for her. She never got to finish because of money and family problems, and she has worked so hard to give me more than she's ever had.

"It'll give you an excuse to travel more often," I tell her before I take a long pull from my glass of water.

"It will still be sad," she counters. "I'll miss you Maeleigh," she says with a small smile. It's been us my whole life, and now in less than eight months I'll be leaving the only home I've ever known. The only parent I have.

I reach out and place a calming hand on my mother's faintly wrinkled one. "I'll miss you too mom," I tell her earnestly. She has to know I will miss her more then anything and anyone, she's my blood. But she wants adventure for me, and I know she doesn't regret pushing me to apply to mostly school outside of Florida. "Don't worry," I assure her.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I jump slightly at the horn, and pull my hand away from my mother's. "Oh, that's Franny," I say as I stand and grab my backpack for school. "Got to go," I tell my mother as I walk over to her side of the table.

"Tell her I say hello," my mother tells me as I lean down and hug her goodbye for the day.

"I will," I agree. "Love you," I say before placing a gentle kiss on my mother's soft cheek.

"Love you too darling," she replies as I pull away and take off out of our front door.

I hop down the front steps, and head over to Francesca's car that's parked on the street outside my house.

"Hey," I breathe as I open the passenger door and climb into her nice car.

"Hi Mae," she greets me with a bright smile. I wince at her cheeriness this early in the morning. Francesca has always been an early riser, and in the years I've known her it hasn't changed. She loves the crisp, dewy mornings, and rising when the sky is still pink. This is why I also hate staying the night at her house; she never lets me sleep in.

"So I have an update on the Asher front," she announces as she puts her car into drive and begins to drive out of my neighborhood. I've always been appreciative for my best friend's rides to school. Since my mother and I don't live in the wealthiest parts of Easton, that means we live further out from the schools, which are predominantly placed around areas such as The Grove where Asher and Francesca live.

"Oh, really?" I comment, trying to appear attentive. Though it's not hard to feign interest when I've never really cared about Asher before, and Francesca knows that. But now, I hate how my ears perk at his name waiting on the edge of my seat for her next words. I shouldn't care what she says, but I do.

"He had a party over the weekend," she says as she stops at a sign before turning right. "The one you refused to come to," she reminds me, casting me a look with a perfectly arched eyebrow.

I shrug trying to hide the guilty look that wants to break out over my face. "Yeah, just wasn't feeling it," I tell her as I watch the palm trees blur by the window. I don't feel guilty about hanging out with Asher, if Francesca found out about it she would just use me as an angle to make me talk her up to him. No, the bolt of shame that fills my bones is from his attempt to kiss me.

I pulled away because I didn't want his kiss. I didn't want to kiss an asshole like him, or kiss my best friends biggest crush. But the voice in the back of my head knows if he tried again I might not have the same resolve.

"Well it was fun and you should've come," she tells me with an almost scolding tone.

I roll my eyes at her words. I love my best friend, and I know she just wants what's best for me, but she always says every party is going to be fun. And I'm sorry, but they rarely are for me. "I'm sure, now what happened?" I ask, tossing her a questioning look.

"We drank, we danced, we talked," she lists off as she lifts her newly manicured nails one by one from the steering wheel while speaking. "We just connected and it was honestly a good time," she says sincerely as a smile breaks across her gorgeous face.

"So did anything happen?" I ask slowly, hating the small part of me that wants to know for other reasons than being happy for my best friend.

"No, I don't want to be seen as a hookup," she says with a slight scoff. "I think we could actually be something," she expresses as we finally pull into school.

"Yeah," I breathe out awkwardly knowing I'm coming off more quiet and reserved than usual, even for Francesca. But I just can't get the image of Asher and her dancing, of them touching, of him flirting with her, out of my head. What if he takes her to the mall and asks her to try on lingerie for him? I bet she would, I bet he would like her more in it than he did me.

Ugh, I push away all these feelings of insecurity and guilt that are trying to fill me and focus on the day ahead. I've never felt like I had to compete with my best friend, I've never been jealous of her, and I've never had these feelings before and they can only be linked to one source. One man. Asher Lawton, which means I just need to stay far away from him.

"My mother is best friends with his mom, and she said they always talk about us getting together so it's definitely end game," Francesca calls out to me as we climb out of her car and begin to walk towards the school's entrance.

And she's right. They are end game. People like them are meant to be together, while awkward and lanky girls like me aren't meant for epic love stories filled with sexy out of my league men.

I'm pretty sure it's a scientific fact.

I hear a deep voice shout out from behind me as I follow Francesca up the stairs into the air-conditioned school.

"Maeleigh!" I turn to spot Brooklyn running up to me with a boyish smile hanging on his lips and his chocolate brown hair wind blown.

"Hey Brooks," I say as I cast my best friend a quick look, but notice she's already by the lockers with her group. My body pauses as I see her next to Asher, his signature smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he talks with her.

Asher's dark eyes flicker over to me, almost as if he could feel my stare and his face instantly turns cold as he takes me in. He then immediately wraps an arm around Francesca drawing her in, but as he does his eyes narrow in on me almost like he's playing a game. Like he's trying to get even more under my skin than he already is.

I shake my head and transfer my attention to the kind boy in front of me.

"Here," Brooklyn says without any other words as he shoves a flyer into my hands wrinkling it lightly.

"What's this?" I ask as my eyes rake over the colorful paper.

"We just booked a gig," he tells me his brown eyes light up almost as if he's bubbling over with excitement. A small giggle falls from my lips at how cute he is when he's this enthusiastic.

"Home By Nine," I read the name of the band slowly.

"Yeah, it's a dumb name," he tells me with the wave of his hand.

"No," I disagree. "It's actually weirdly cool," I tell him truthfully as my teeth sink into my bottom lip. His band has gone through many renames, but this one I can't lie I truly like. Definitely describes him and his band mates.

"So you'll come?" he asks eagerly. "It's at this bar..." he trails off as if I actually care where it's being held. It could be at the local Burger King and I would be there. He's a friend, and his band is really talented, I don't need any other reason.

"Of course I'll be there!" I express giving him a cheerful smile.

"Really?" he questions like he can't believe I would attend. "Cool," he breathes as a small blush coats his cheeks making him look even cuter.

We talk for a few more minutes before he rushes off to hand out more flyers before school starts, and I can't wipe the smile off my face thinking of how eager he was to invite me. Brooklyn always makes my day a little brighter.

I turn to walk towards the group by the locker when I see Asher's eyes already on me. Watching me? Watching Brooklyn? For how long? And the dark look that fills his gray eyes can only be one thing, jealously.

But I don't want his attention, or his jealousy, or his anything. But that doesn't stop the way my stomach flips and my heart races at the look that's only directed at me, and no one else.

Again, he makes me feel on edge in every way imaginable. But how long can I be on this edge until he pushes me over?