~Lasriel and Legolas try to process what they just found out and talk things through.~

~♕~

"Those that suffer a loss require support
from friends and loved ones."

– Baymax, Big Hero 6

~♕~

36. Night

The journey home was a quiet affair. Despite her effort not to, Lasriel kept thinking about what they discovered on the island. It had been bad enough to believe her father's infidelity was only a one-time occurrence, but this? It was obvious he lived in that house with Mithrellas and had continued his shameful relationship all these centuries.

She wanted to be angry at him for that, to hate him, and to be glad she wouldn't have to see him ever again – but she was only disappointed. He had seemed so happy to meet her and so excited when she asked questions about the heated floor... It made her sad to think of how much she had lost when he chose his mistress over his family; how different everything would have been if he was still a part of it. She would have had a person in her life who shared her love in fixing things... She could picture herself showing him around in her house and seeing his genuine interest when she explained all the improvements.

It felt like she had been deprived of something she never even had.

The first night on the road she had a hard time falling asleep. Beside her, Legolas was tossing and turning in his bedroll as well, and after a while he gave up and left the tent on silent feet.

She waited for him to return but when he was still not back after an hour or so she followed his example.

He sat on the river bank with his knees drawn up, resting his chin against them as he gazed at the water. A sprinkle of stars were reflected in its dark surface.

Sitting beside him, she snuggled in under his cloak. "Hello, meleth."

He smiled and put an arm around her, pulling her close. "Hello there."

It felt good just being together in silence, listening to the many sounds of the night. Small splashes of fish in the water, crickets singing in the grass, an owl hooting somewhere in the distance.

After a while, Legolas broke the silence: "You know... I have been thinking. Now that there is no longer any need to give my adar an heir – what if we sailed to Aman at once? We would get away from all the troubles in Middle-earth and have a peaceful time."

Lasriel thought about it before replying. She recalled the distant horizon she had seen from the ferry and the alluring cry of the seagulls. In a way, it sounded wonderful. To walk into the white city of fair Tirion and see the trees of Tol Eressëa. To meet all the famous elves of the past.

But on the other hand... she had so much she would like to finish here. They had only started with the forest, and she wanted to see how it would look when the channels and the lake were in order, and of course the colony needed much more work. The others relied on her to help them with bricklaying.

Talking of others, there was also her dear friend Cheery; she couldn't leave her, not now! She wanted to see how things went between Gimli and her.

She tried to explain all that to Legolas, who nodded slowly as he listened.

"You are right, of course; I had not thought the idea through. I ought to complete what I've begun or all that labor I put in has been in vain. And I could not leave Gimli either, or Aragorn and Faramir. Though it will be heartbreaking to see them die one day as mortals do, I wouldn't want to miss being there for them..."

"Aye, and also... Leaving Naneth without saying goodbye would be cruel. I want to see her one last time and perhaps offer her to come along if she wants to."

When he didn't answer that she recalled his rather dramatic talk about his father the previous day.

She crept a bit closer. "I know you said I am your only family now but... well, I do think you ought to forgive your ada. He only did what he did to protect you."

"Uh, aye." He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "You know me. I tend to, well, exaggerate things sometimes when I'm upset. I just needed time to calm down and think it over... But that said, I am not going to forgive him easily. Not until he has told me everything that happened that time and apologized for his part in it." He added with mirth in his voice. "There will probably be a lot of yelling involved on both sides. No worries, I will not call him names."

She couldn't hold back a chuckle. "Be serious! But I am glad you mean to forgive him, and I hope you won't yell too much... If anything, you ought to yell at me because I made him trick you into marrying me, and then I made you believe we had to get an elfling urgently." In retrospect, it struck her the last thing was even worse. What if they had succeeded when they were still not talking to each other? A poor, innocent baby brought into the world under such bad circumstances.

"At you? I thought you hated quarreling? But by all means..." He pushed her down so swiftly she hardly knew what happened until she lay pinned on her back, hands pressed into the grass above her head. "How dare you suggest we marry," he murmured silkily. "Tempting me with your alluring charm... flattering me with your admiration... you certainly need a scolding."

She breathed faster. Somehow the atmosphere had gone from melancholy to sexual in a heartbeat, and in the faint light his eyes looked black. His hand locking hers together was strong; she wasn't going anywhere unless he let her.

That made it even more exciting.

"You are such a bad, bad elleth, becoming my best friend again and cheering me up after all my worries and troubles. Not to mention, giving me so many frankly amazing nights... giving me access to this." He slipped his free hand under her dress, softly squeezing a breast. "And this." He moved it lower, in between her legs.

She gasped; he had never touched her like that before. It felt different – but absolutely not in a bad way. "Don't stop."

He stopped. "With what?" A teasing grin had appeared on his lips.

"Ngg..." She tried to rub herself against his fingers.

"Oh that." His grin widened and he resumed the caress. "But you seem to like it. I thought you wanted me to yell at you?"

"I think... this is... enough scolding for tonight," she mumbled unsteadily, finding it hard to focus on anything but the feeling of his finger slowly sliding back and forth.

"Is that so? Then it is time to kiss and make up. Or, should I say, kiss and make love..."

~♕~

Afterwards they lay together in the grass, rolled into his cloak like a bedroll, warm and cozy. Legolas was a little embarrassed that he had so easily become distracted from his distress, but Lasriel tended to have that effect on him.

And at least it had made him lose much of his tension. The most acute shock and anger were subsiding, leaving him with a dull ache. It felt like he had lost his mother all over again, only this time he could neither mourn her, nor long to be reunited with her. She had stolen a large part of what had made him look forward to the future.

"Legolas..."

"Hm?"

"You know, in a way I understand them."

He didn't need to ask who.

"I don't mean I think it was right to be unfaithful – but... imagine being forced to be together with someone you don't like... share each other's bed every night because you are expected to produce an heir. My naneth said it took her two years to become pregnant, and I didn't think much about it then because it was such an awkward conversation, but from how she talked about the, eh, act, it was obvious she must have hated it."

Her words gave Legolas a stab of guilt. "You didn't like it either in the beginning."

"That was different. The first time, I had no idea what it would be like, and I had made this mental picture..." He could hear in her voice that she was smiling. "A very silly one that I shall not describe further. And of course the reality was nothing like that. Aye, it was a little painful, but I liked you, and I was attracted to you, and I enjoyed that you enjoyed it. I loved to be able to hold you. To be close. But our parents had none of that, I think."

Legolas tried to picture his father and Mithrellas together in a bed trying to beget a child. It was impossible.

"Actually, just living together probably was awful for them," Lasriel continued. "No wonder my parents fought and quarreled all the time."

"My parents didn't; they were very polite to each other." He thought back, what little he could remember of that time. Mithrellas and Thranduil never raised their voices, but he also couldn't recall ever seeing them touch each other, or hug, or even just having a normal conversation. "But you are right, they probably didn't like each other much... They had separate rooms and usually stayed there."

"Polite? Like two strangers under the same roof, then."

"Well aye, but in fact, Adar is always like that. Courteous, polished, rarely showing any emotion, even with me. He gets angry sometimes but mostly he keeps that inside too."

"That must have been hard for you, growing up."

"Both aye and nay. He was not exactly... openly affectionate, but I always knew he loved me because he was so very protective. I just think he was too proud to show he needed me." Legolas' annoyance with his father was returning; it struck him that maybe a large part of the reason why Thranduil had lied about Mithrellas' death was because it hurt his pride to admit she had cheated on him. "It is like he believes he must be a perfect adar and king, and can never ask anyone for help or admit to failure."

"Hm. That reminds me of another ellon I know."

"I am not like him," he huffed.

"If you say so." Again there was a smile in her voice.

Silence resumed, apart from the continuous chirping of the crickets. Then she said: "I blame our grandparents a bit for this whole situation. They made the match between their children and compelled them to obey. And considering that, it is actually a bit strange our parents did the same thing with us."

"It was only a suggestion in our case," Legolas objected. "Adar would never have forced me."

"True, naneth wouldn't either, even if it had not been my own idea. She once said her parents were very strict and that she didn't want to be like them."

"I am glad we were not born in those days." He snuggled closer.

"Me too. How many elf couples are there like our parents? Caught in loveless, arranged marriages..."

"That is a bit depressing to think about. But it was common in their generation, so probably quite a few, I'd say... It is funny, for it always seemed odd to me that us elves have so few children, and I know everyone says it is because it is hard to beget them and give birth, but now I wonder..."

"Aye. That could very well be a reason." She shivered. "I am getting cold. Time to try sleeping again?"

They went back into the tent, again lying down close together. Legolas' bleak thoughts bothered him less now; it had done him good to talk with Lasriel. Hopefully he would even get a few hours of sleep before morning.

"What shall we do about this information?" she murmured sleepily. "Travel home to Greenwood and tell our parents?"

"Nay, it is still too fresh. Let us calm down first and come to terms with it ourselves. Perhaps even try to get that baby and make everyone preoccupied about it?" Despite just doing it, the thought gave him an expectant stir in his nether regions.

"Good idea. I don't think I can face Naneth and tell her Adar still lives together with Mithrellas. It would crush her."

A/N:

Uh about that, Lasriel... ;)

Again I'm so grateful for your comments and votes on the previous chapter! Thank you everyone!