Chapter 19 I Won't Say I'm in Love


"I don't like it," Theo said, crossing his arms and leaning on the doorframe of Celia's room in the inn.

"So you said," she replied with a sigh, tilting her head as Lyra was doing some complicated things with her hair. "A half dozen times if my math is correct."

"And I'll say it another dozen times if it gets you to listen."

"Theo, just drop it. We've discussed it already, and we all agreed that it's important I start showing myself at fancy parties to get more nobles interested in our ventures and get precious investment money."

"And the hair is done," Lyra said, making a theatrical gesture at her masterpiece.

Celia turned her head, admiring her new look in a vanity mirror. She couldn't argue it looked gorgeous. It wasn't her way to pay much attention to her hair, Celia usually just braided it to keep it out of the way, but Lyra, the woman of many talents, was not only gifted in working with machinery but also with looks. She was invaluable whenever they made a con that needed any disguises.

This look was a disguise too. Celia had to look the part to fit in the fancy noble party on the topmost level of Iron Shore, so her casual attire wouldn't do. Even though Gabriel provided her with a dress and jewellery, hair and makeup were an essential part of the costume. Her dark brown hair was now artfully pinned and styled on her head, leaving her neck and ears exposed, with only a few curled strands around her face.

"Now, your face." Lyra prompted her to turn towards her again, a brush already in her hand.

"I understand the funding arguments," Theo started again. "But the timing is all wrong. Do I have to remind you that you have bloodshedders after you? What is the most convenient location to strike than a party full of people? Are you going to walk into that recklessly?"

Celia turned her eyes towards him, unable to move her face with her chin in Lyra's firm grasp. She knew him well enough to sense the annoyance in his voice, so she didn't even have to look at him to know he was upset.

"What is better, Theo? Expected ambush or surprise attack in a random location?"

He scoffed. "You can't be serious."

"I am." Celia stretched her neck as Lyra momentarily let go of her face and busied herself with mixing different cosmetics in small jars. "Do you think I'll dance in carelessly, drink booze and make new friends? You know me better than this," she said in a dry tone glaring at him. "Bloodshedders are unpredictable. They are a variable that is hard to plan for. But, as you said, they surely wouldn't miss the occasion to strike on such a tempting occasion. We all know most assassinations take place in crowded places."

"Then why are you insisting on putting yourself out there?"

"Because if I expect it, I can plan accordingly. I may look pretty and fragile, but I'm not going there unarmed. Zed will be with me at all times, and Gabriel will also provide additional guards to keep an eye on us."

"Of course he will," Theo said bitterly.

Lyra giggled and started applying makeup around Celia's eyes. She waited patiently for her friend to finish before turning to Theo again. "This is the safest situation I could create to lure bloodshedders out. If they strike when we are on the mission or during the assault on the Plunderers' new hideout, I will be in real trouble. I can't leave this encounter to chance. I would appreciate it if you drop it if you have nothing constructive to add besides grumbling."

"I'm not grumbling," Theo scoffed. "I'm pointing out that maybe you trust this Gabriel guy too soon. There is something fishy about how he's going out of his way to help you. Not only he paid for all Percy's repairs and kept us off the Law Enforcement radar, but now this?" He gestured at the beautiful, expensive-looking dress hanging on the door. "Did you ask yourself where the catch is, Celia?"

Celia's face flushed with anger, but Lyra's lighthearted laugh filled the room before she could respond.

"Oh, dear. I think the main issue here is that Theo is simply jealous."

"Shut up, Lyra." Theo's face instantly flashed red, but the woman only laughed again.

"You're all done, boos. Now, I feel like you two need to talk this out, so I'll scatter." She quickly collected her cosmetics, but she affectionately patted Theo on the cheek on her way out. "Don't worry, Theo. It happens to the best of us."

Once she left, Celia crossed her arms and glared at Theo. "I can't believe we need to have the talk again. I thought you came to terms with it already."

Theo rubbed his brow, looking guilty. "I did. I know you do what you do to achieve your dreams, but I feel this is different."

"How is it different, Theo? I act as I always do. If I see an opportunity to get something I need, I'll use everything at my disposal to get it. Be it guns and knives or my charms and body. Once I have it, we'll be well on our way over the mountains and leave this mess behind us."

"I think you actually like him this time," Theo said quietly.

Celia opened her mouth to protest and then closed it. Her heart beat faster, and she steeled herself because lying to her friend was never easy. "Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not. I don't know what it is about lordling that you find so compelling, but somehow, in just a couple of weeks, he managed to warm his way out into your heart. When you talk about him, you have this... glint in your eyes."

"You are seeing things you want to see, Theo," Celia said, turning back to the mirror. A beautiful face looking back at her was just another mask, and she could already see the cracks spreading.

"Cee, stop lying to me." Theo limped to her and gently put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm worried about you. Lordling is not one of us. He didn't get where he is now by being kind or friendly. He's scheming something, and I don't want you to get caught up in his intrigues." He withdrew his hand and sat on her bed, resting his elbows on his knees. "Why is he different from all the other men you used and discarded?"

"We share the same dream," Celia said quietly.

"But... we all share your dream, are we not?" Theo asked, a slight hurt in his voice.

Celia smiled sadly and looked at him. "No, you don't. You follow me because you trust me, and we are family. If I said we were staying, you would stay. If I was gone... I'm pretty sure you would make some amazing lives of your own. You are following my dream, and it's not the same as sharing it."

"I'm... not sure I understand."

"When I look at Gabriel, it's like looking in the mirror. We are practically strangers, yet, somehow, we get each other. Sometimes it's funny because I know what he will say next, what he's thinking about, and I can guess what he doesn't say. And the things he knows already, Theo... It's like he's years ahead of me in planning the venture over the mountains. That's why I need him... his knowledge, experience and resources to make that dream happen."

Theo leaned back and crossed his arms again. "That may be so, but I still don't trust him. Maybe his dream is similar to yours, or maybe it is the same for now. But you don't know for how long. Circumstances might change, and there might come a time when you two don't see eye to eye. What then? If you trust him too soon and fall for him...."

Celia scoffed. "I'm not falling for him, silly. I admit I might like him a bit, but falling for him? Please. Love is not for selfish people like me, so you don't have to worry about that."

"You say that, and yet...." Theo's green eyes were watching her unrelentingly, and she shuffled uncomfortably on her chair.

"Theo. I know the stakes here. I know I can't let myself fall for anyone, especially not him. You don't have to worry about me. I've been using people for personal gain my whole life, and I'm a professional."

"I hope you are right. For all our sakes," Theo said gloomily. "Just remember that we are all here to support you. Don't shut us out and take all the burdens yourself, or they might crush you one day."

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