Kalem's POV

Just go, Kalem. You won't know until you go.

I stare at the barrier in front of me, but I don't take a single step.

Okay, there is nothing wrong with trying again. You got this! Go in three, two, one!

Nothing. Not even a little lean forward, my body stays stubbornly stuck.

You get to be by Master's side forever if you go now!... Unless you go and see what you really did.

I bite my lip to stop bad words from coming out, but they almost do. Instead, I scream inside, not caring how silly that was, at least it made me feel a little better.

Trying to convince myself to do things had always been hard, like the first time I got into bed with Master, but this had to be the hardest of all.

I had to find out exactly what I did in that desert.

Most of my memories were a blur, but what stood out clearly was that spear in his chest and how I felt like it had pierced me to see it there. I watched the light slip from his eyes, and then there was smoke all around me and no life beyond my own.

I'd done something horrible, maybe even hurt the people I loved and cared about. At first, it was easy not to think about it. I didn't have to because I was too busy worrying that Lincoln might never wake back up, but now he was awake and asking questions I couldn't answer, and it was suddenly all I could think about!

Master had only been up for a day, but he wanted to know the details, and I couldn't keep making up excuses and popping away when he brought it up. That wouldn't last forever, especially with how quickly Master was healing, which meant I had to go get answers before he did.

But it was easier said than done, because if the answers weren't good, then I might lose Master, this time for good.

Lincoln said he'd love me forever, no matter what, but would he still love me if I hurt someone, the people in the clan? I didn't think he would because I wouldn't even love myself if I did.

Swallowing a whimper, I let my shoulders and wings slump, feeling more lost inside than ever.

I didn't know how things became so complicated and messy, and not the good type of messy either.

Before, my world felt like it was always full of sunshine and happiness, with friends and a home I could have forever. Master had given me that, and I thought it would always be mine. But now, I didn't think I knew what friends really were, and that sunshine didn't seem so bright when I saw the darkness behind it.

Everything had changed, and I didn't think I liked it very much. But I did like my wings, I loved those a lot.

As if trying to say that they loved me too, my wings wrapped themselves around me like a cocoon, keeping me safe and warm. I smile so hard I almost pop away!

I always imagined that if I were lucky enough to have my own wings, they'd be like a part of me, like my arms or my feet. And they were, but they also felt separate like nothing ever had before. It was weird, but it was almost like if they had their own thoughts and feelings and reacted to things without me telling them to.

It should've been scary, but it wasn't. In fact, I really liked it because it made me feel like I was never really alone.

You always have, Master. I try to remind myself, but it gets muddled by my fears and all the 'what ifs'.

Sighing hard, I look up at the nighttime sky and feel my heart fill just a little at all the light.

It was really late in the night, but everything still looked so bright to my eyes. Everything had since I got my real form. My eyes now showed me the life in everything, and that was something I was happily learning to live with.

Where I used to see the top of everything, now I saw these special golden lines that ran through everything. From the spine of a plant to the roots of a tree, even the veins in my body, the little bubbles in the air and the water beneath the soil.

Everything had thin, sparkling lines of life that ran through them, ones that connected them to each other and kept everything working in harmony, and they all ran to me.

I always felt connected to nature, especially pretty flowers, but now I could see all the ways I was. I could see the power I'd learned to let me in and all the energy and life the world had.

It was the most beautiful thing in the whole world.

Even now, in the middle of the night, I wasn't afraid of the darkness because all the life around me flooded it.

I wished I could show Lincoln. I wanted to show him all the wonderful things about my new form, not just my pretty wings. I knew nobody would be as excited to hear about it as Master would be, but I knew the second he saw me, he'd start looking at me with that almost scared expression, and I'd feel even worse inside.

After all we'd been through, this was supposed to be the happy part, and I was making it worse like a silly boy.

A groan crawls up my throat, but before it gets the chance to become a yell, the sunflowers around me suddenly sway to the right. They moved as if a wind was pushing them down, but there was no wind I could feel.

I straighten, taking on my defensive stance as I look around with careful eyes for the cause, but there was nobody within the barrier besides Lincoln and me, and Master was sleeping.

My heart thumps hard within my chest, but I couldn't afford to be scared when Master was asleep and vulnerable. I had to protect us like I promised I would.

When the flowers shift again, I settle my palm to the dirt below me and follow the lines. I don't even have to ask as they open to me, showing me what they felt, what they were running from.

A cold chill washes over me immediately, the weight of incoming death so heavy it made the flowers shift away in retreat, but I knew what it was.

Zhoron.

Glancing back at the cave, I pause to make sure Lincoln hadn't steered before I rush through my barrier, coming to the other side just as Zhoron lands before me. I look around for others, but I could only see him, a spot of darkness blotting out all the light.

Zhoron straightens slowly, his black wings tucking themselves behind him while he narrows his eyes on me.

He looked like he always did, angry and very much annoyed, but I could see in his gaze the concern meant for me.

"Zani," he greets carefully without making any moves forward.

"Zhoron," I reply while I keep my eyes glued on him, so he couldn't try and do a secret attack. "I told you to leave us alone."

"Yes, I remember. But I worry for you," he states calmly, "you should not be alive, let alone sane as you are."

"I'm fine,"

"Zani, I do not wish to see you lose yourself," Zhoron pleads, his features becoming grim. "What you did on that battlefield..."

I take a step back.

"Do not run. Not again," he begs with a step forward, "you should know better than most than running does nothing but extend the problem."

Knowing that didn't make it any easier though. I feel my eyes dart around, my body growing tense as Zhoron takes another step.

"We shall work through this together, but to do so, you can not keep hiding," I open my mouth but he hurries on, "I know you shall not part from your intended until he is healed. So, I am not here to attempt swaying you. I am here to offer my help," he grimaces, his entire body going tight as if just uttering the words hurt. "If your lover is still injured, I wish to aid him."

My eyes shoot wide, and I have to blink three times to make sure I wasn't sleeping.

"You want to help, Lincoln?"

Zhoron's face etches into a deep frown, "I wish to help you, and I understand you have made him an extension of you. If I can steer him away from the ledge of death, I will do my best."

My heart fills so quickly that I get scared that it would go pop, right inside of me! But when it doesn't, I rush over to Zhoron, my wings carrying me halfway so I squeeze him with all my love.

He grunts when I crash into him, but he still hugs me back, his arms coming around me just as tight, his cold skin relaxing me.

"This is a welcomed change," he mutters above me, "when I last approached you, you tried to sever my head."

"I did not," I mumble, cheeks heating just a little because maybe I did. "Lincoln was hurt, I was scared."

"Was?" Zhoron questions as we part, a single sharp eyebrow raised. "Do you mean to say that the bloodsucker is healing?"

"Don't call him that,"

"But that is what he is," Zhoron replies, looking truly confused. "I've been watching their kind for the last feen and that is quite literally all they do. It's disturbing."

"It's not," I argue, I liked it whenever Master got my blood.

"It is. Your infatuation with one blinds you to see it, but I assure you, bloodletting is nothing pleasant."

I shake my head and sigh, "Lincoln is awake and moving and healing," I report, my smile growing super big just knowing it's true. "He's going to be okay."

Some of the tension eases from Zhoron before he nods stiffly, "I suppose that is good news. For you?"

I find myself grinning, "You suppose?"

"You can not expect me to favour someone who consumes warm blood," Zhoron snaps as if it were obvious. "But if your vampire is alright, why have you not returned to your stronghold. The rest of his kind who wait there are quite concerned."

Memories of the last few days, all worse than the last, flash before my eyes, making my smile fall away so quickly that I almost didn't believe it was ever there.

"I have to make sure he's okay," I say firmly. "I have to make sure he's one hundred per cent okay."

I'd seen Master hurt, seen him cry for me, and I felt a piece of me almost die with him. I never wanted to go through that again.

"You said a moment ago that he's healing," Zhoron frowns again, "and what is a one hundred per cent?"

I shake my head because math still confused me sometimes, and if I tried to explain, we'd both be lost.

"Lincoln got really hurt during the fight, and before that, people in the clan betrayed him and me. I-I don't want to go back until I'm sure he can fight when I'm not protecting him."

Zhoron doesn't reply immediately, watching me in the way he always did when he tried to see beneath the words given to him.

"What else?"

"What else what?" I ask, trying my best to look confused.

"There's more to this that you are not sharing, Zani," Zhoron claims, not bothering to ask because he already saw right through me. "We do not keep secrets, you know this. I'm already overrun with worry as it is following what you did in that desert. Is it your plan to worry me further?"

My fear turns my voice into a strained whisper, "D-Did you see all of it?"

"I believe the heavens and Ythene herself saw, Zani," Zhoron retorts sharply, his grimace returning. "I have not a single notion of how you survived such a thing."

"What do you mean?" That was the second time he'd said that, "I thought that I was the one who did the hurting. Everything was in smoke and-"

"Kalem?"

I jump with a little squeak, spinning around to find Master standing just outside my barrier. My heart falls to the bottom of me, my stomach going empty with worry that someone could hurt him, or worse, that he'd heard it all, but there's only caution in Lincoln's dark eyes as he looks between Zhoron and meI.

"You're supposed to be resting," I scold, desperate to get Master far from Zhoron.

I try to use a serious voice like the one he used on me when I was naughty, but it just makes him smile.

"If I rest any longer, I'll likely not wake for months to come," Master dismisses as I head to him. I try to push him back through the barrier, but he doesn't budge. "I'm fine, Kalem. You worry too much."

I pout at him, not knowing how to stop worrying after seeing him so hurt.

"I'm fine," he repeats very slowly as he takes my wrist in his hand and keeps me at his side.

Knowing Lincoln wouldn't let me take him away, I force myself to stay still and cover him with a small barrier just in case. Master hardly notices as he faces Zhoron, his expression blank as he looks him over, "Hello."

"Hello," Zhoron replies tightly, his English sounding stilted and weird in his voice, but it was understandable.

Lincoln and Zhoron stare at one another for a long while, neither moving, not even to blink. They just stare at each other while I fight the urge to pop Master back into the cave.

After a moment, Master speaks again, "It's good to see you again, under better circumstances. I was glad to learn that Kalem has family who cares for him."

"Zani will always have me," Zhoron states sharply.

Lincoln frowns before he blinks up at me, "Zani?"

"You do not know his given name?" Zhoron quips before I can, looking my way with a raised brow. "This is who you picked as a suitor?"

I feel Master stiffen beside me, and though he hid it well, I could see the doubt trying to climb through him.

Lincoln didn't care very much about other people, especially what they might think of him, but I knew he wanted Zhoron to like him a little. Not for himself, but for me, which was amazing but also super distracting, because it made him even sexier, which was a problem.

"Yes, and you've seen why. You've seen how good Lincoln has been to me," I grind out, not willing to let Zhoron make my Master feel bad. I offer Lincoln a smile, "Zani is my real name, I guess, but I want you to call me Kalem."

"But if your real name is Zani-

"No," I shake my head. "I like Kalem with you. I like the way you say it and how you call me. I always want to be your Kalem."

Lincoln's features soften a little as a gentle smile graces his face, so handsome and perfect it makes my insides light up.

"Alright," he whispers, his finger tightening around my wrist. "Kalem."

My wings flap excitedly behind me, wanting nothing more than to spread wide and fly so I could take Master back to the cave and beg him to kiss me all over.

My naughty parts had been left alone for way too long!

I was just about to whisk Master away when Zhoron made a loud, sickly noise, his face showing his obvious repulsion.

My wings stop their happy dancing.

"Um," Lincoln clears his throat. "Did you come with news? I know you have no care for my species, but you were there during the war. Have you been with those in my clan since?"

"Yes," Zhoron answers, glowering.

I see Master perk up while my heart drops, dread making my magic swell as I look at Zhoron, pleading with him not to say anything through my eyes. His head tilts just a little, and I can almost hear his confused questions as he squints his eyes.

"Are they well? The ones who fought with us?" Lincoln asks, the worry in his voice making my chest clamp down with fear.

At that moment, I wanted to pop Master away, somewhere far away. But hiding things was never good, and sooner or later, the truth always came out.

I just hoped it was a good truth...

Please be nothing bad. Please be nothing bad. Please be nothing bad.

"They are well," Zhoron answers, and my heart does a flippy thing inside of me.

"All of them?" Lincoln asks almost breathlessly.

Zhoron nods, "All who were there when I arrived. They are all within a castle underground which the needy imp claimed to be your stronghold."

"Wequie?" Master asks with care he'd never show to them. "You've met Wequie?"

Zhoron's lip turns up a snarl, "I've been scrapping that horny creature off of me for the last feen. Yes, I have met him."

Lincoln smiles before he starts laughing loudly, his entire body relaxing all at once.

It's only then that I realise just how little I'd told him. As far as Lincoln remembered, we were in the middle of the war, and then he'd woken up somewhere completely different, with me being all cagey and scared.

If I were Master, I'd be worried about the people I cared about most too. Silly Kalem

"But everyone in the clan is okay?" I hear myself asking as I look at Zhoron. "They all got away?"

"Got away?" Lincoln asks before he can answer, his joy leaving instantly as he looks between the two of us. "Got away from what?"

I hesitate, looking at Zhoron, but he just shrugs a little.

"Kalem," Master says, tugging at my wrist until I'm looking straight at him. "What happened? And I don't want to hear that I need to rest. I want the truth, now."

My insides go mushy all at once as I try to duck my head, but I was too big to hide from Master's angry voice now so all I could do was get the truth out before he got even angrier.

"I-I don't really know," I look at my feet while I twist my fingers. "I saw you get hurt, t-the spear and then you were in my arms," I breathe hard, not wanting to remember all the blood. "I got really sad, Master. Really, really sad because I thought that after everything, I lost you and nothing is as scary as not having you forever. I thought I wasn't going to, you weren't moving a-and I just... it all came out."

I keep my gaze on the dirt, too scared to look up as I try to be brave and say the rest.

"I've never felt so cold inside, or dark, but I wanted to hurt everything like how hurt I felt to lose you," Lincoln's fingers slide down from my wrist to intertwine with my own. He squeezes them hard, making my lip quiver as I close my eyes to stop the tears. "I-I shouldn't have, but I was s-so upset, a-and I didn't f-feel like I could ever be happy again without y-you."

"Kalem," Master whispers softly, but I don't look up.

"I wanted to hurt e-everything that hurt me," I confess, hating myself inside for ever feeling that mean. "I think I would've hurt everyone if y-you didn't move. I saw your eyes move a l-little, and that was what made me stop. B-But by the time I did..."

"Nobody was hurt," Lincoln fills in, moving closer. "Everyone made it out just fine."

"Well..."

My eyes pop open as I look to Zhoron, who stood with his arms crossed against his chest. "I saved the two I now know to be Malcolm and Wequie," he explains with another snarl. "The elf saved all within your clan."

"Aias?" Lincoln and I say at the same time, but while Master sounded only a little surprised, I could hear the disbelief from me.

"All who were marked in that dark red, the ones I was told not to exterminate," Zhoron describes with a nod, "he saved them all. We did not know until the pair led me to the castle in search of you two, and there they all were."

Fear way bigger than what I thought I was holding onto, slips away from me in a flood. The force of it so strong I have to lean against Master to hold me up.

I didn't hurt anyone in the clan. They were all safe. They were safe because of...Aias.

My heart ached for my best friend, and I hated that I felt so confused about him.

Of course, Aias would save them. He liked to pretend that he was cruel, that he didn't care about anyone, but Aias was secretly sweet. Which was exactly why I didn't understand how he could have so many secrets.

"You did not hut anyone in the clan," Zhoron continues, "but as far the rest of the bloodsuckers in that desert..." Zhoron pins his narrowed eyes on me as if he was peering inside. "Not a single one survived. They were all burnt to a crisp by some mix of lightning striking from the heavens and flames rising from this planet's core."

"No," I breathe out, "I can't... I can't kill people..."

Zhoron nods, "Which is why I do not understand how you stand here. You killed thousands, you took life, and you are still as you are."

"Is he?" Lincoln asks while his eyes drift between my own, searching for something I wasn't sure I wanted him to find. But he didn't look angry, which was a good thing. "You've never killed before, Kalem."

I didn't think now was the best time to tell Master about what happened to the vampires who killed Thén.

"Is this why you didn't want to tell me anything?" Lincoln asks, dipping his head slightly so I saw only him. "You felt guilty? Ashamed?"

I shake my head quickly, "I was scared that I hurt the clan and that you would hate me when you found out. I'm happy all the bad people are dead."

Master's black eyes widen so suddenly I have to bite my lip not to laugh. I could look crazy if I did that.

"I don't feel bad," I say, knowing the words were true even as I spoke them. "They were bad people, really bad people. They made our life horrible for so long, and they hurt so many people, and made them slaves. If I only hurt them, then I don't feel bad."

I look to Zhoron who nods a little, his eyes shining happily at that.

I didn't think I could ever like hurting people, it made my tummy upset just to think about it, but some people needed to be hurt.

"I hope that's okay," I mumble when I look back at Master. "I hope you c-can still love me."

"As if I could ever stop loving you," Master replies with a scoff, "what do I have to do to get such crazy thoughts out of your head."

I feel my cheeks heat up while I squirm and shrug just a little, "I don't know, love me extra special, Master."

"That is enough," Zhoron snaps when Master makes an interested humming noise.

This time, my cheeks heat for completely different reasons when I find Zhoron glaring daggers at Lincoln as if he wanted to cut him down where he stood.

"If all is well with you, I shall return to your stronghold, tell them of your recovery," Zhoron lists, wings already spreading, "and I shall find you for a private conversation, Zani. Hmm? Now that we can speak without you threatening my life."

It was a tease, but it still made my cheeks too hot for me to look him directly in his eyes, so I just nod quickly.

Huffing and grumbling something under his breath, Zhoron pops away without a word, leaving Master and me on our own, together like we should be.

Lincoln turns me in his arms, bringing my body against his while he smiles up at me, eyes lit with mischief as he smirks at me.

"So, I must love you extra special," he breathes, voice turning heavy. "I believe I can do that."

"Really?" I ask, my hole clenching, suddenly feeling very empty. Master needed to fix that, immediately!

"That is of course, if you don't think I need more rest?"

"No!" I say quickly. "You're rested! You're more than rested! You need to get tired now, on me!"

"Your wish is my command," Master chuckles, "just promise me one thing, love?"

"What?" I would give Lincoln anything!

"Give me everything tonight," he whispers against my skin, "no worrying about my health. I just want you to give me everything that you are, I promise I shall make it worth it."

My pants suddenly get tighter than ever before, a small whine pulling from me as my wings start flapping again.

"I-I can do that," I mumble, chest tight.

"Good," Lincoln grins, his eyes full of mischief. "Because I have many plans for you, my love. Many plans..."

—------------

INCOMING SMUT!!!!!!!!!! Lmfaoooo, it's just been too long, excuse my excitement.

Thoughts????????????

I didn't really know where to go with the chapter for a long time, but after trying and trying, this is what came out and I'm not mad at it. I think I have to tie together all the loose ends to make the story fit, I definitely don't want to leave it without holes so this maybe was more of a filler? Idk.

THe next chapters should be lots of fun with smut, them going back to the clan, Zhoron time, and I can't wait to write a scene between Zhoron and Wequie, I'm dying already.

Thank you all for being patient and amazing and wonderful with me as we come to the end of this book, it's been such a crazy but fun journey so thank you, thank you!!!

Until next time,
Byeeeeeeeeee humansssssssssss