Like this, John looks at peace. He rests on the floor, curled on his side, one hand tucked beneath his head. He even snores softly.

Sable stands over him, and looks at him. Like this, it's almost enough to ease the guilt.

When John wakes, it will be to fading memories. When he wakes, he'll find a goodbye message waiting for him on his omnitool, and he'll understand. He'll grieve, but not too much, because Sable made sure to take as much of the hurt as he could. It will fade, John will forget, and Sable will become a ghost.

It's better this way.

Sable walks out of the facility and finds the asari waiting for him. Their black armor is plain, unmarked, with no hint as to who they are. But that doesn't matter, because he knows what they are.

Monsters.

"There you are," one of them purrs. She reaches out and brushes a gloved finger across his dirt-streaked cheek. "We were about to come find you."

"No need," he says coldly. "We have an agreement. As long as you keep it, so will I."

All three of them smile at him.

"Very good," the second one praises him.

The third one says nothing. But she gestures imperiously for him to follow, and he obeys. But not without a backward glance at the silent building.

It's better this way, he tells himself. But the sentiment falls flat, because while he can hide the truth from others, he cannot hide it from himself.

***

Hacking into the Council Chambers in the Citadel Tower wasn't exactly an easy feat. Fortunately, Sable didn't have to lift a finger. This was Yuwin's department, and his salarian friend didn't fail to deliver.

"I've hacked into someone's omnitool," Yuwin proudly declared, not that Sable cared. "I've downloaded a nifty little software that will delete itself after thirty minutes, but it'll let us listen in to any surrounding audio. As long as this person doesn't wander off, we should be good to go."

Sable pressed a cool hand against his forehead, one eye closed against the pounding headache. It felt like a dozen elcor were using his head as their walkway. If he focused on that locked box buried deep in his mind, he could catch the faintest flashes of color and muted, garbled sounds and shapes wisping out of it. But he didn't. Just those tiny little leaks were enough to make his head throb.

"Whose omnitool did you get into?" Sable asked wearily. He sat on a bench in a darkened corner of the Presidium. There wasn't much traffic here, and he wore a faded green cloak over his silver hardsuit, the hood pulled low over his head. It wasn't exactly much for a fashion statement, but the Citadel had all kinds and there were worse eyesores out there.

"Does it matter?"

"Is it one of the Council members?"

"Look. Sable. I'm brilliant. Not stupid. There's a difference, you know."

Sable grunted. For all the love of hanar, he was going to go find the strongest painkiller on the black market after this and take a handful. His head was killing him. "Whatever you say, salarian. Just hook me up with the feed."

"Sure thing, human."

Yuwin's snarky voice was replaced by a short burst of crackling feedback, before a new, slightly distorted voice came through.

"-geth attack is of some concern, but there's nothing to indicate Saren was involved either way."

Sable frowned. The voice was feminine, so it had to be the Asari Councilor. But she'd mentioned the word geth and attack in the same sentence, and he didn't like the sound of that. John, just what happened down there?

The next speaker was unmistakably turian. And it sounded more than a little smug. "The investigation by Citadel security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason and-"

"Eyewitnesses saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood!"

That nasally tone could only have come from humanity's Ambassador, Donnel Udina. Sable held very little like for the man. Udina was a poor choice to make humanity look good, that was for sure.

His feelings aside though, the ongoing conversation began to give Sable a bad feeling.

"We've read the Eden Prime reports, Ambassador," a new speaker said. Sable thought it might have been salarian from the pitch of it, but he wasn't sure. It would have been nice to have visual to go with the audio, but he'd take what he could get at this point. "The testimony of one traumatized dockworker is hardly compelling proof."

One testimony? That's all they had? And they were accusing one of the most famous Spectres of killing another Spectre? Sable sighed, rubbing his aching head. This whole thing stunk of desperation.

"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre and a friend."

Sable leaned forward, listening. Even through the omnitool, the cold disdain came through. Saren, he silently identified. The unease in his gut only grew.

"That just let you catch him off guard."

"Captain Anderson," Saren sneered in reply. Even for a turian, it was easy to hear. " You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me. And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard - the one who let the beacon get destroyed."

"I was not the one who planted those bombs, Saren." John spoke calmly, but Sable picked up on the faint note of anger.

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures," Saren scoffed. "Just like Cpt Anderson. He's taught you well. But what can you expect... from a human?"

Sable clenched his hands. This turian was an arrogant bastard. He wasn't even trying to hide his self-appointed superiority, either.

John seemed to think so as well, for he said, "It's obvious you care little for humans. Yet there you were on a human settlement in the midst of an unprecedented geth attack. I doubt you were there to provide aid, so tell me, Saren - why were you on Eden Prime?"

Saren's chuckle chilled Sable's blood. "I do not answer to you, Shepard. Truly, your species needs to learn its place. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres."

Ah, Sable thought. He suddenly had a better idea of what was going on now. It was clear to anyone with more than three brain cells that Saren had motive. But that didn't answer all the questions. Why kill Nihlus? How was he involved with the geth? And what, exactly, did he want with the beacon? Because Sable had no doubt that it was all related somehow.

Suddenly, his vision blurred. The distinct sensation of a spike piercing through his skull hit him. He gasped, then clutched his head as he doubled over.

Crimson and orange dripped down before his eyes, tinting the world. A quiet scream began to build, both deep and inhuman while being light and shrill like a young woman's cry at the same time. As it grew, something reached out and twisted his eyes in his skull, skewing his vision into a new image.

A world, scorched black and lifeless. A star, deep red and spitting fire. And an elongated alien shape hovering between them, its massive claws slowly opening.

D e s T r O y E R

The meaning slammed into him, a wave of pure, primal fear, that blasted every other thought or feeling from his head. The scream rocketed up from the depths of time, a collective cry of grief, rage, and terror that nearly wiped him from existence.

And then it was gone.

In its place was Udina's nasally voice. "-mistake bringing you into that hearing, Captain. You and Saren have too much history. It made the Council question our motives."

Sable took in a shaky breath. He'd slipped off the bench at some point, and now he lay curled up on the ground. His hands were rigidly fixed to his head, fingers curved like claws. Tears streaked down his face, and sweat soaked his hair though.

"I know Saren," Anderson went on in the background. "He's working with the geth for one reason - to exterminate the entire human race. Every colony we have is at risk. Every world we control is in danger. Even Earth isn't safe."

Destroyer, Sable's shaken mind supplied, and he shuddered. He pushed himself up with trembling limbs, and slumped back against the seat of the bench. He had no words. He could barely think past the horrible image of destroyer and destroyed and the horrible, gut wrenching fear that came with it.

John's voice, steady and calm, asked, "What's this history between you and Saren?"

Desperate for some distraction, Sable listened, though he had trouble making sense out of their words.

Anderson said something about a bad mission. He talked for a while, before John asked about the next step.

Then Udina was talking, but Sable gave up on paying attention. He breathed heavily, sucking in air like he'd just sprinted 300 hundred meters at full speed. He wiped his eyes, his face, then smoothed back his wet hair.

"What the hell," he finally muttered. It summed up the entire situation really well in his opinion.

Apprehensively, he checked the mental box containing the horrors of the beacon's message. It was still closed, but little wisps of red constantly slipped free. Pandora's box, truly. Until he figured out how to deal with it properly, that was the best he could do. He just hoped it wouldn't keep assaulting him with nightmarish visions. He wasn't sure how much of that he could take.

"Sable?"

It took him a moment to recognize Yuwin's voice. The salarian had already cut the feed, leaving him in silence. But he hadn't noticed, not with all the noise in his head.

"I'm here," he grunted. "Did you get all that?"

"Oh yes. Your brother's got himself in quite the mess. Accusing Spectres of treason isn't something most people would even dare to try."

"Not just that," Sable grimaced. "This is a lot bigger than some squabble. Dig into any reports of recent geth attacks. And get me that report on Eden Prime. There's something going on, Yuwin. And I need to know what it is."

He wasn't going to leave John alone now. Not when an ugly storm was brewing. Every instinct he had warned him this was going to be a bad one, and he wasn't about to let John face it alone. Plus, if he could also learn more about that beacon and what it did in the process, that would be fantastic.

"I see. Did you want me to go kick a krogan in the gonads as well? Because that might be easier. Honestly, do you even understand what kind of security-"

"Keep an eye on John, too," Sable interrupted. He ignored Yuwin's rant. "And the Council, while you're at it. They didn't sound exactly surprised or even concerned when Saren was accused."

"Right. Of course." Yuwin's voice dripped sarcasm. "Anything else?"

"Actually, yeah. I need some strobaline. Can you find me the nearest dealer?" After a moment's thought, he added an extremely uncharacteristic, "Please?"

For a moment, there was no answer. Then Yuwin finally responded, but this time, he sounded serious. "Strobaline, Sable? Are you sure?"

"Very." If he didn't get something for his head, it was going to disintegrate right off his neck. He was certain of it.

Yuwin didn't bother with any further questions. "All right. Give me five minutes."

And that was why Sable kept Yuwin around. The salarian, for all his snark, was good people.

***

Sable slumped in his chair sideways, one foot resting on the seat beside him. He leaned back against the wall, watching the patrons on the lower level through hooded eyes. An untouched drink sat on the table before him.

Flux was a small nightclub that was popular with the naïve, younger crowd. It had drinks, decent music, a dance floor, and gambling for those who liked that kind of thing. All in all, it was fun, colorful, and safe.

It wasn't Sable's preferred atmosphere. Chora's Den was more along his lines, but since Fist took over and started hiring asari dancers, he'd steered clear of that place.

He exhaled slowly, and thought he could see a purple shimmer in the air before him. It was hard to tell if it was the obnoxious lights in the club or a hallucination.

A fuzz had worked its way under his skin, making it feel like it was stretched tight over a layer of fur. Sometimes it was unbearable, and other times it was soothing, since it deadened the sensitivity of his skin. He could probably remove his gloves while strobaline worked its magic, but he didn't. He never did.

"You all right, Sable?"

Yuwin's voice sounded distant and tinny in his air. It might have even sounded concerned, but Sable put that down to auditory hallucination. With strobaline, your senses tended to fabricate a lot of things.

That made it a popular drug for those who wanted to get trippy, but for Sable, that was just an annoying side effect.

"I'm fine," he muttered. A human couple glanced at him as they walked by, but quickly turned away. They knew better than to pay much attention to a muttering guy wrapped in an oversized green cloak.

"Okay." Yuwin heaved a big, dramatic sigh, a human trait he'd picked up from all the horrible human movies he watched. "Just...take it easy for a bit. Don't do anything stupid."

Sable snorted. Then regretted it as a dull ache flitted through his head. Bells tinkled around him, releasing soft green ripples throughout the air. None of it was real, he knew that, but it definitely was distracting.

"Relax, Yuwin. I never do anything stupid. Why don't you look into the Councilors and see if you find anything?"

Yuwin was silent for a moment. Then he said, sounding somewhat annoyed, "I already did. I was only able to skim the surface - their security programs are ridiculous - but I did get a few communications records. It looks like Councilor Sparatus had some private communications with both Nihlus and Saren."

Sable lightly drummed his gloved fingers against the table top. Little flashes of yellow burst from his fingertips, which he ignored. He considered this information, though his thoughts were sluggish and kept slipping focus.

"Send it over," he said.

"Nope," Yuwin replied immediately. "Go get some proper rest. With all that strobaline, you shouldn't have any trouble getting some real sleep."

Sable nearly growled. "Yuwin-"

"I've booked you a room at the Silversun Inn. Go, get some sleep, and then we'll talk."

"There's no time for that!" Sable lurched upright, slapping his palms on the table. The people at the nearest table froze, staring at him warily. Realizing he'd just shouted, Sable took in a deep breath, and lowered his voice to a tense murmur. "I need to figure this out, Yuwin. There's geth, dead Spectres, Prothean tech, and possibly a rogue Spectre. John's-"

"John's a capable N7 Commander in the Alliance," Yuwin said. "He can handle things on his own."

Gritting his teeth, Sable glared as the table sprouted red grass beneath his hands. The sound of gentle rain fell around him. "He can't handle this, Yuwin. He couldn't handle it. Do you know what I took from his head? He touched that beacon, and it injected madness into him. It was breaking him, Yuwin. It would have destroyed him."

"What beacon?"

"He doesn't have the ability to deal with that kind of crazy," Sable hunched his shoulders. He curled his fingers into the grass, feeling the rough texture even though he knew nothing was there. "He doesn't show it, but he's so fragile. If he's pushed too much, he'll break, and he can't- I can't-"

"Sable." Yuwin's tone was uncharacteristically harsh. It was enough to jolt Sable into silence. "What beacon?"

Sable closed his eyes. He could feel his heart racing in his chest, could feel the blood pulsing through his veins. And behind it all, his mind throbbed with barely suppressed agony. He took in a deep breath. Held it. Then let it go in a long whoosh.

"John said it was Prothean," Sable said softly. "They were supposed to retrieve it, I think. Didn't you get a copy of the reports? It should all be in there."

"I got the reports," Yuwin admitted. "But they said nothing about a beacon transmitting anything to John. All that it said was that an artifact caught one of his people in a gravity field, and he pulled them out. It caught him instead, but it exploded shortly after, rendering him unconscious in the process."

"He left that out?" Sable rubbed at his eyes. "Of course he did. John wouldn't ever let anyone know if something was wrong."

Except me, he thought, but rather than feel pleased about it, there was only a wave of guilt-tainted sorrow.

"So there was more to this beacon than he let on," Yuwin said. "What did it do, exactly?"

There was no reason to hold anything back. Yuwin knew everything about him. And for some strange reason that Sable would never understand, the salarian hadn't run screaming in the other direction. Instead, he'd offered his help.

So Sable told him.

"It passed on a message, I think. Images. Sounds. Feelings. But it's so broken and alien, it's impossible to make any sense of it. It's like a massive overdose of insanity being shoved into your head. And it's not just a one-time thing. It percolates in there, spreading its roots and it keeps coming back, like a nightmare that never ends."

"Ah," Yuwin said succinctly. "And you took that from John?"

"Yeah. He'll just think it was a fading dream after a few days."

"Perhaps that's for the best, then. But you -" The frown was evident in Yuwin's tone. "Is the strobaline helping?"

"It's holding back the worst of it," Sable answered. It was funny how a drug designed to induce temporary madness could also help contain it. Somehow, it drowned out the mental box's escaping red wisps. On the plus side, it also deadened the horrible ache in his head.

"Good. Then my order still stands. Get some sleep, Sable. I'll keep watch over John. If anything happens, I'll let you know."

"You're just saying that to make me agree," Sable grumbled. His eyes followed an asari who'd entered the club. She went to the bar, hips swaying enticingly. She was stunning and she knew it.

His mouth filled with ash. He tore his eyes away and abruptly stood. He no longer wanted to be in this place.

"Is it working?"

Sable left his drink on the table. He hadn't touched it. The wide, shallow stairs to the lower level gave him difficulty, but he held onto the rail and managed to stagger down without falling on his face.

He looked towards the bar as he passed. The asari had leaned against it as she waited for her drink. She caught his eye and her lips spread into a sensual, welcoming smile.

His stomach turned. Heat rushed through him, accompanied by a dark rage. Sable jerked his gaze away and lengthened his stride. He couldn't leave fast enough.

"Yeah," he growled. "It worked. Tell me where this Inn is."

~*~SPACE TIDBIT~*~

Citadel - this is the ginormous deep-space station in the center of Council space. It houses all kinds of different alien races, and is like the seat of the government (the Council).

Council - a governing body made up of a chosen representative from each member of the member species. Right now, there's the turian Councilor Sparatus, the asari Councilor Tevos, and the salarian Councilor Valern.  

Spectres - (Special Tactics and Reconnaissance) - are agents given all kinds of authority. They only answer to the Council, and can pretty much do whatever they want in the galaxy. 

Fun fact: The backstory here is that John Shepard is in the running to be the first human Spectre, to show that humans are finally ready to join the Council and have a say in galactic affairs.