"ℍ𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕛𝕦𝕞𝕡, 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕖'𝕕 𝕔𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕒𝕤 𝕤𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕤 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕒𝕝𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕪 𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕."

-𝕤.𝕓

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♬ ᴹᵃᵏᵉ ᵐᵉ ᶜʳʸ ⁻ ᴺᵒᵃʰ ᶜʸʳᵘˢ ♬

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Ｍａｓｏｎ

I was exhausted and to be quite frank, all I wanted to was lay in bed and cry myself to sleep. But I had school, so that wasn't really an option. I grimaced at my appearance in the mirror. Dark, circles were set below my eyes, which were bloodshot red and slightly puffy. The tip of my nose was red as well. My hair was pulled into a messy bun in the top of my head with hairs falling out just about everywhere. I had slipped on a pair of black leggings and a green crew neck, sweatshirt. I was currently sat on my bed trying to prolong the time before I had to go downstairs. A knock rapped at my door, making me sigh. I knew one of the boys would be up here to get me if I didn't come down soon. I muttered, "Come in." Whilst grabbing my shoes to slide them on.

My heart nearly fell out my ass when I looked up to find the last person I wanted to see. I instantly stood up and looked away, pretending to search for my bag. Why the hell was he in here? After a week of ignoring me and sleeping with some girl, now he wanted to talk to me? Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

After a moment of him not saying anything and me continuing to pretend to look for my bag which was actually in the closet, I spoke up not being able to stand the silence any longer. "Did you need something?" I winced at how hoarse my voice sounded. I cleared my throat, finally walking into my closet. He stayed silent the entire time which only made my nerves worse.

I glanced him quickly as I walked back into my room to find him just staring at the wall. Okay then. I grabbed my phone off my bed and shoved it in my back pocket, deciding my only option would be to just walk past him seeing as he was literally just standing there, staring at my wall. Making sure to leave the most amount of distance between the two of us, I threw my bag over my shoulder and started to leave but of course, I was stopped by a hand grasping my wrist.

"Mason."

I didn't want to look at him because I knew if I did, I'd most likely start crying all over again and honestly, I've cried enough. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

I wanted to laugh. Why? I didn't know. Maybe it was because I felt uncomfortable or maybe it was because I'd heard him apologize to me too many times, yet nothing ever changed. Whatever his reasoning was, I didn't really care. I was done at this point. I couldn't keep doing this. I couldn't keep letting him get to me. So with that, I pulled my wrist from his grip and mumbled, "I don't know what you're talking about."

I should've known, however, that he wouldn't have let me go that easily. He never did. Maybe he enjoyed seeing me upset because honestly, I couldn't understand any other reason as to why he would keep fucking with my head, over and over. He moved quickly, blocking the door and me from escaping. "Can you move? I need to go to school."

"Mason will you please just listen to me?"

I shook my head, finally looking up at him. "Listen to you about what? I already told you that I didn't know what you were talking about. Unless you're talking about you kissing me, then don't worry. I didn't expect anything to come of it. You're Alex."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What's what supposed to mean?"

"You're Alex."

I shrugged, looking at the wall just over his shoulder. " I don't know. You're just, Alex. You fuck a girl and then move onto the next, I'm just saying that you don't have to apologize, I kissed you back." I wrapped my arms around my waist feeling uncomfortable. I didn't want to talk about this, I just wanted to go to school and then come home and sleep.

"I know you were there this morning."

I choked on my spit. "What?"

He looked back to the wall behind my head, some type of emotion filling his eyes. "I know you were in the kitchen this morning, I saw a bowl of fruity pebbles on the table and you're the only one in the house that eats them."

Okay, now I'm one hundred percent sure my heart literally fell out my ass. "I'm sorry. I wasn't spying or being a creep or anything. I was eating and then Iris came in and then you showed up. I promise I left as soon as things started happening."

He looked back to my face, confusion filling his face. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Well, I just, I didn't want you to think I was spying on you when you were doing... anything and I just,"

He stepped forward making me instantly step back. "I'm apologizing to you, not the other way around."

"I don't know why."

"Because I'm a fucking dick, Mason." He breathed out, running his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry you had to see that. You weren't supposed to."

"You really don't have to apologize. You're free to see and kiss whomever you want."

"I don't like her, Mason."

"Um, okay?" I really didn't understand why we were having this conversation in the first place. Like I said, sure we had kissed but he had never once insinuated that we were anything more. Of course, I was hurt and upset but it's not his fault that I've developed feelings for him. He's not required to return them. "Can I go? I don't want to be late for school and don't want Miles to leave without me."

"I already told him that I'd give you a ride."

"Oh." Why would he do that? And couldn't he have asked me if I even wanted to go with him? Because you can bet your ass that I sure as hell didn't want to be within one hundred feet of him, let alone in the small space of a confined car.

"Please look at me." He nearly begged.

So I did, though I wish I hadn't because the heartbreaking look upon his face made me feel bad and I really didn't want to feel bad for him. "Can we please just go?" I swallowed the uncomfortable lump forming in my throat.

"Mason."

I couldn't help but shake my head. "Honestly, I don't want to have this conversation. I don't even know why we're having this conversation. You apologized,d I told you that you didn't need to and that's that. Please, can we just go?"

"You can barely look at me."

I glanced at him once more before looking at my shoes. "I'm just tired." Which wasn't a lie, I was but aside from that, I really just didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't want to talk to him, especially about this. I didn't want to be near him, to be honest. Just looking at him made my head hurt and heart ache.

"Please Mason."

My head finally snapped up, my eyes focusing on his. "Please what? What do you want from me Alex? I don't know what else I can do. You're mean to me and then you're nice. Then you treat me like shit all over again and then you show up on my date, then you disappear and then when I get home you interrupt me and my date and then you freaking kiss me. You kiss me! What even was that? Oh and not to mention you say something like, 'What are you doing to me?' or whatever and then you ignore me for an entire week, an entire freaking week. You avoid me at all costs and then I see you and you're with another girl and of course, I ignore it because what else am I to do? You're not mine and I'm sure as hell, not yours. So who am I to say anything? because let's be honest, it's quite clear to everyone that you're not the relationship type of guys but here you are throwing me all kinds of signals and confusing the literal shit out of me. Then after you find out that I had to witness you practically fucking Iris on your parent's kitchen counter, you finally decide to talk to me? Why? Why do you feel the need? Why can't you just continue to ignore me?"

"I swear, it's not what it looks like. Things are complicated and "

I couldn't help but laugh, it was humorous and slightly rude but at this point, I didn't care. "I mean, I don't know about you but there was nothing complicated about the fact that Iris came into the kitchen at five this morning, wearing nothing but your shirt and you shortly followed and I think we both know exactly what happened without me recanting the whole situation."

"Mason, please just let me..."

"Let you what?" I snapped, not letting his finish. "Like I said, time and time again, you don't need to explain anything. We're nothing and you're free to do whatever and whomever you'd like. You know what, don't worry about taking me, I'll just walk."

"You're going to be late."

"I'm already late." I muttered, pushing past him. I was far too tired to deal with this crap so early in the morning. Okay, let's be honest, I didn't want to deal with any of it, ever. I was fed up and exhausted with the mind games. My head hurt just thinking about it. This sure as hell wasn't what I was expecting when I was told I'd be moving into a house full of boys, I had planned on keeping to myself, possibly making a few friends. But dealing with the absolute mind fuck that Alex seemed to cause on a daily basis was not something I was prepared to handle, nor was it something I wanted to deal with.

Of course, I wanted a boyfriend but I didn't want one who caused me so much anxiety that I couldn't sleep. Or one that has apparent commitment issues and enjoys sleeping with multiple girls a week. Not to mention, he talks to me horribly. I wasn't about to be one of those girls who'd allowed a boy to treat her like shit and just forgive him because he said that he was sorry repeatedly. If he was actually sorry, he wouldn't feel the need to apologize more than once because he'd having nothing to apologize for.

I sighed, closing the front door behind me really regretting my decision of walking. I was drained, mentally and physically. The last thing I wanted to do was walk all the way to school but it seemed better than the latter; at least it was a nice day out. I was too caught up in my thoughts to notice the car still in the driveway until the horn beeped. I jumped, finally looking up.

Miles was sat in his car looking at me with a sad smile. He flicked his head to the side, silently telling me to get in. "Alex told me that he told you that he'd give me a ride," I mumbled climbing into the passenger seat. 

"He did." He nodded, starting the car and backing out of the driveway.

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I'm not stupid, Mase. Despite how hard he tries, he always seems to fuck up, especially when it comes to you. And I figured you'd end up walking because you didn't want to be in a car with him and I couldn't just let you walk."

I smiled, looking at him while he drove. "I truly don't know what I'd do without you, Miles."

"Oh, I know." He smiled.

I was more than thankful for Miles. He was genuinely one of my best friends. "Uh, Miles you missed the turn."

"Oh, we're not going to school."

"What? Why?"

"Because you need a day off from school and away from Alex. We're going to hang out and have some fun. You hungry?"

"When am I not?" I wasn't normally one to skip school, okay, let's be honest, I never skipped school but I wasn't going to tell Miles no. Especially when his proposition sounded so inviting.

"True. Okay, so after we eat, what do you want to do?"

"Sleep." I laughed.

"Deal. I could use a nap too."

I leaned back in my seat, finally relaxing as we drove to McDonald's. I practically inhaled all of my food before we even made it home. "You wanna watch a movie?" I asked as soon as stepped back into the house.

"Can we watch 27 Dresses?"

My eyebrows furrowed, looking to Miles as we ascended the stairs. "Really?"

"Hey, it's a good movie."

I laughed, "Whatever you say." I kicked off my shoes and instantly climbed into my bed, scooting to the far end to allow enough room for Miles to climb in. He quickly found and started the movie, climbing under the covers as well. "Thank you, Miles."

His focus was still on the t.v. "For what?"

"For always being there for me."

He looked over to me and grabbed my hand, sliding his fingers between mine. "I'll always be here for you, Mase." 

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author's note, 

hello!

Here's a random, kind of middle of the week update. 

I hope you all enjoy it and thank you, thank you, thank you for all the comments and votes! Seriously, guys, it means so much. When I began writing De Luca, I didn't really expect that anyone was going to read it and now we're at 22.9k views which I know isn't a lot compared to a lot of books on here but to me, it's insane and I appreciate each and every one of you. 

I hope you all have an amazing day and rest of the week! 

I love you all, 

M.