Apart from my utter refusal to converse with my biological mother, I'd never been one to hold onto grudges. I never had the patience for that. Pettiness bored me. Not to mention that people who did that kind of shit lived in the past. 

Me? I lived for the future. 

Why did the Web matter to me anyway? Who would I contact? What would I do? 

Sure, the Internet was a cool nerdy thing, but the websites took forever to load. Thirty minutes didn't leave me much time to explore back then. In 1998 only a couple of million websites existed, a paltry number compared to the couple of billion today. If they worked at all.

I wasn't gonna kick up a stink long-term over access to some stupid computer software. Back then, video games were more entertaining. 

So I'd forgiven Grandad for our epic fight. Instead, Mom became public enemy number one. Especially since it had been her idea to invade my privacy in the first place.

Once Grandad fought for me to have a summer job, I put his role in that Eric debacle behind me. Without him on my side, I wouldn't have had a shot in hell of earning my own money. Mom argued against him. Until I hit eighteen, my fate would be decided by my guardians.

And them alone.

"Carm, she's seventeen years old now." He argued with her in the kitchen once we'd finished breakfast. I eavesdropped from my bedroom. "It's time she started earning her own money."

"What for?" retorted Mom. "We give her everything she could want."

"It's about learning the value of money."

"She has all the time in the world to work once she's eighteen," Mom insisted. "Until then let her enjoy her childhood."

"Jess wants to work!" he roared. "You heard her."

"I don't want our baby growing up too fast."

"What could she possibly do?" asked Grandad. "She doesn't drive, party, or hang out with anyone but Carolyn. And that kid's harmless."

"Where would she work?" asked Mom. "At a fast food restaurant or some retail store? With a bunch of strange people? How would that help her to get a meaningful job later?"

"It's character building."

"It's beneath her dignity and intelligence," she countered. "She should focus on getting good SAT scores and earning an excellent scholarship for Holy Cross. That'll help her get a good job later."

Good God in flipping hell!

Did she expect me to study even during the summer? I could never catch a damned break.

"Besides, I don't want any young men trying anything with her," she added. "You know how naive she is."

Oh, yes! I'm the stupidest human on the planet.

Hurry, get me a brain case in case my last cells fall out of my ears!

"Nothing will happen to her," said Grandad. "You have to trust her."

"Says the man who won't even let her use email under supervision."

"Jess can do that once she turns eighteen," he roared. "Until then, no! There are too many perverts online. You hear the news."

"You hear about people getting raped, mugged, or kidnapped on the bus or walking down the road."

"We could drive her."

Did I live in real life or in an action movie? Who the heck committed any crime of any note here in our secluded neighborhood?

That's right. No one.

Once the neighbor had refused to sweep the leaves promptly in the autumn. Oh, the scandal! Not to forget the overly large fence our other neighbor had erected that had breached the covenant. Once a couple had flown a flag with an eagle that had resembled the German one instead of the American one, though I'd be damned if I could see the difference.

The height of criminality, right there. 

By those standards, literally thousands of thugs would line up to rape, murder, pillage, and destroy us in our tiny neck of the woods.

Pfft! And Mom said I'd played too many video games?

Please...

Part of me wondered if Mom simply took her role as guardian a bit too seriously. Whenever we'd watch some news report about crime against children, she always blamed the parents.

Without fail.

Mom put an inordinate amount of pressure on herself to raise me perfectly. If anything bad had happened to me--ever--she would have blamed herself because in her mind, she held the ultimate duty of care to protect me. I wouldn't carry the blame as a minor. 

She would. 

Which meant she controlled everything to ensure nothing bad would ever happen.

Better to keep the prized blackbird locked in a gilded cage. Wouldn't want her to get lost. Or shot. Or grabbed by a cat. Or turned into a medieval luncheon.

Yet somehow Mom also expected me to magically know how to conduct my life at the tender age of eighteen. Oh, no worries! I'd be fine. Thanks to all the useful life experience I'd gathered.

Yeah, about that...

To my mind, the only rational explanation was that Mom didn't want me to have money. Whoever held the purse strings held the power, which meant I should stay poor and helpless.

If I didn't earn my own money, I couldn't do anything without her knowledge. All I had was two dollars a day for lunch, and fifty cents of that went to buying books for German.

No money, no freedom.

I'd like to be more charitable. Truly, I would. But what other possible explanation was there?

All right, maybe Mom was trying to be nice and let me enjoy my childhood. Maybe she fought to ensure I kept my priorities straight. Or maybe she wanted me to have a better time than she did. 

But then she should have respected my wishes! And just let me get on with it.

"And that's final!" said Mom in a haughty tone. "I will not have my granddaughter working at a place like that with all those...unsavory people."

Oh, brother! You gotta be shitting me...

With a sigh, I fell back into my pillows. So, it was pride. For fuck's sake! God forbid anyone in the development would think that the Kouris family needed money. 

Oh, no! Disaster of disasters!

God, it made me wanna barf.

Not long thereafter, Grandad knocked on my door. His face flushed with frustration from their recent fight. He gave me a contrite look that carried a hint of leftover annoyance.

"Jess, you wanna come with me to the grocery store?" whispered Grandad.

Ahhh, the go-to for us whenever Mom got a bit much. 

I nodded. Hell yes! Get me the eff outta here.

We sat in the car with the same awkward silence since our huge fight months ago. Once a friendship was torn, it proved super hard to mend. I didn't even know where to start.

Staring out the window, I lost myself to a dream world. A kind of safe space inside me that kept me sane since my youngest years. Grandad put on some big band music from the fifties, which lulled me deeper into my reverie. 

Whenever I got into the car, I'd conjure up rich fantasy worlds and alternative realities. Great entertainment! I'd watch the movies play out on the stage of my inner eye. 

From the time I was a kid, I made random shit up. Sometimes aloud in my bedroom with imaginary characters that made Mom nervous about my mental wellbeing. I didn't blame her. Not every twelve year old pretended to be Joan of Arc fighting a holy crusade against Hitler. 

"Hey, kid." I jumped, startled by his booming voice. "Sorry about the job. I tried."

"I appreciate it," I said with a smile. "Truly, I do."

"Things have been a bit crazy since...all that crap last year," he said, gripping the steering wheel. "I just want you to know you'll always be my little girl."

Aww, that took a lot of guts. I respect that.

"I know, Grandad." I gave him a wistful smile. "I'm sorry too."

"You know I want to protect you, right?" he asked. "Your grandmother wants that too, but she doesn't always get it quite right. Maybe I don't either sometimes. We live in a crazy world."

My heart warmed up like an inner sun. "We all try our best."

"Not long now anyway before you can make up your own damn mind."

"Nope!" I said with a grin. "Soon I'll be out of your hair and you can have the retirement you should have enjoyed long ago."

We stopped in the parking lot of Market Basket, and Grandad heaved a sigh. "You know I'm gonna miss ya, right, kid?"

I turned to face him. "Really?"

"Yeah, you were never a burden." A corner of his mouth curved into a smile. "Retirement can be boring as hell, but not with you around the place."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Sometimes I want to kick your rear-end," he added, "but you know how it goes. I still love the hell out of you."

"I'm sorry I cussed at you back then." I sighed. "I don't really want anyone to go to hell."

He chuckled. "You are one fierce little spitfire when you're mad. You take after me."

I laughed. Our little joke.

We didn't share a drop of blood, but some bonds went beyond that.

"Guess that means you won't take crap from anyone when you're grown up," he said with a wry chuckle, giving me a playful tap on the knee. "Just make sure the guy deserves it first."

"What? Don't be a ferocious nag, you mean?"

"Ha! You got that right, kid."

"All right, deal!"

"Hey, can you keep a secret?" he asked.

"Maaaybe."

"How about we split a chocolate bar?" he asked in a conspiratorial whisper. "Once we finish the shopping. Just you and me."

"Awww, yeah! Let's do this."

We bounded out of the car and raced around doing the shopping. Grandad and I picked out a Twix at the checkout counter and shared one bar each. 

As we ate the melting chocolate, I knew things were right again between us. Not completely healed. There would always remain a little scar. But we were friends again.

"You want me to drop you off at Carolyn's house?" he asked. "Or are you walking today?"

"The weather's nice, so I'll walk. That way I can help you put away the groceries too."

"Thanks, kid."

Because Care lived within walking distance of our house, I could visit her whenever I wanted. Our families knew each other from church. My whole life, both sides would take turns hosting game nights every Friday. While the adults chatted and played cards, the two of us would play video games, dance like wonky marionettes, or watch acceptable nerdy movies. 

We'd become something of an extended family. Like sisters, really. We went over each other's houses all the time. Mom and Grandad even had a spare room set up for her right next to mine.

Our isolated development rested in a secluded bit of Leominster, one of the more rural towns in Bostonian suburbia that still had access to the commuter train. A side road led to a circle of fancy houses, all of which boasted of luxurious and well maintained front and back lawns.

My grandparents' retirement dream house. Years and years of hard work had led to the moment when they could nestle in a tight-knit, quiet community of upper-middle class opulence.

Here lived both Care and me.

A short half-mile walk led me to her house on a circular road so devoid of traffic that we often used it as a one-mile pedestrian race track for walks or jogs. In this warm, sunny weather with fluffy clouds and a hint of breeze, it'd be a crime not to take advantage before the super-hot weather hit.

As always, Care was tending to the weeds in her grandparents' spacious gardens in order to get extra spending money for books and video games. When I approached, she gave me a broad smile and rose to her feet. She brushed the topsoil off her shorts and toned but squat legs.

Running to me, she enveloped me in a warm hug. "Hey Jess!"

"Hiya Care. Want some help?"

"Nah, that's cool. Almost done here." I sat on the freshly mown lawn, the scent of cut grass wafting in the air. "Jess, oh my gosh! You'll never believe it!"

"What's up?"

"Guess who I got an email from?"

I tilted my head in curiosity.

"Eric!" she whispered with a giggle.

My heart leaped into my throat. "What did he say?"

"He wanted to know how you were doing. Where you were going to college. If you were dating someone." Care gave me a playful nudge. "All that kind of stuff. Isn't that exciting?"

"What did you say?"

"The truth." She counted each point on a separate finger. "You're well, waiting for student aid packages and acceptance letters, and celibate as always."

A broad smile swept across my face. "Cool, that works."

"He's smitten, you know." She giggled. "It's like a modern Romeo and Juliet. Use the best friend to bypass the strict guardians who want to keep you two apart."

I laughed. "Don't be silly, Care. He's just being nice."

"Uh, yeah. No. I'm pretty sure it's more than that."

"What do you mean?"

"One sec," she said once she'd finished weeding. "Come on inside. Snacks first, gossip later."

She led me into their spacious kitchen and took out a large pitcher of iced tea and a giant bowl of popcorn. I sank into the purple bean bag chair while she plopped on the yellow one beside it. 

"You cool with Super Mario World?" she asked.

"Heck yeah! Let's do this!"

 No, it wasn't the latest in tech but a damn sight better than my classic NES.

"So what's your Eric related theory?" I asked. 

"Looks like he's not the only one who's smitten," she said with a smirk.

"Hey!"

"Kidding, kidding." Care handed me a glass, and I poured myself a generous serving of tea before grabbing a handful of popcorn. "The email was eighty percent about you." 

"Me?" I asked, astounded. 

"Yep. That means oooo-oo-oooo."

I rolled my eyes. "Real mature, Care."

She grabbed a handful of popcorn and grinned. "Hey, it's my specialty."

"How's he doing?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. 

"Oh, he's good." She grinned at me, and I gave her a playful nudge. "He's going backpacking across Europe with his older brother before college starts."

"Lucky bastard!"

"I know, right?" said Care as Mario tumbled into a bottomless pit. "Your time will come, don't worry. They have graduate scholarships for that kind of thing."

"That's the goal!" 

"Maybe you'll go with Eeeeeeric."

"Oh, my gosh. Care! He's in college." My Luigi crashed into a Goomba. "He's gonna meet a crap-ton of girls and forget all about me."

"Bullshit!"

I pressed pause on the game. "Eric ignored me all of his senior year."

"Yeah, because your grandparents ordered him to do so, and they're scary as fuck." Care gave me a wary look. "No offense, but I've never met such a tiny lady who could give me such jitters."

After continuing the game, I died in a lava pit. "None taken. Mom used to frighten me as a kid too. Now she just makes me mad. Speaking of which, you'll never believe what she said."

"Hmm?"

Care moved her body in order to coax Mario to make his jump. It was hilarious.

"I can't get a summer job."

Mario fell into a bottomless pit to the fateful jingle of a lost turn.

"You gotta be kidding me," she said. "What's up with the Greatest Generation? They always whine that we're lazy and yet they won't let us work. Mine are the same."

"Mom wants me to focus on SATs. Go figure." Lowering my voice to a whisper, I added, "Speaking of which, she thinks we're testing each other on vocabulary and math."

"That's hilarious," she said. "Me help you with math? Pfft! I'm not even taking math next year."

"Me either. I'm taking Latin instead."

"Brave."

"Nah, it's the basis for all Romance languages."

"Fair enough," she said as my Luigi took a flying leap into the great beyond.

"So we should probably study for a few minutes so that I'm not totally lying," I said.

"Well, my grandparents are picking out potted plants for the garden, so we're safe for a couple of hours." She lifted her college exam preparation books. "Then I got ya covered."

I pretended to be intimidated, and she grinned.

"But first Ma-Ma-ri-o!" she said in tune to the music. "Dun-dun-Ma-Ma-ri-o."

I laughed and drained the rest of my iced tea. "Your nuttiness keeps me sane, Care."

"Okay, that thought's just frightening."

With Care, the summer flew past. We even managed to squeeze in a bit of studying. A welcome break before my final year of high school. 

One that would prove to be the most challenging—and the most freeing—of my entire life.