"Khushi!" He says as he breaks the hug.

I look at him trying to avoid looking into his eyes, as much as I am happy about him being in love with me, I feel sad too for a reason unknown to me.

"Look at me, I love you Khushi, and it's okay if you don't feel the same about me, you can tell me and I wouldn't be angry on you for that, we would still be friends, but please don't cry like this, I always thought that maybe you also felt something towards me because of the way you always behaved around me, I'm sorry if I misunderstood"

"Don't be sorry you idiot, I've waited years to hear this from you and believe me I'm happy, and I love you too, I really do"

"So this are tears of happiness? Oh God, you're so filmy" He says as he holds me in his arms again.

"Why don't you guys just a get a room" Lavanya interrupts.

I break the hug and look at her, she's very happy, Ishaana and Rehan are also happy and they're staring at us with those cute expressions, like this is the best thing that's ever happened.

They're all happy for me and I'm happy for myself but then there's something still missing, something I don't know or understand.

We all walk to the hall, and get a movie to watch as we chill, I'm sited with Arnav holding his hand in mine, I can't really describe in words what this feels like, it's like the happiest moment of my life as I know I should be happy but I'm not, or maybe I am but just a bit happy, not as much as I should be.

"You okay?" Arnav asks as he kisses my hand.

"Yeah" I fake a smile.

It's until midnight when Arnav finally drops me home, honestly it was the best day ever, with my craziest group of friends, there's no way your day would end up without the rib tickling laughter and craziness.

"You happy?" Arnav asks as we both step out of the car.

"A lot, it feels like the best day I'd ever had" I smile.

He gets hold of my waist and pulls me closer to him until I can breathe him, he smells his usual, it's his perfume actually, but I've never had a chance to be this close to him, it's different from close, it's intoxicating.

I don't even know if he's going to kiss me but I close my eyes, it's just the first day and I wouldn't want him to kiss me, we need time before we get there but then if it happens, I'm ready.

I can hear him breath as he moves closer to my mouth, there a peaceful silent for like an entire minute and then he kisses me on the forehead and moves back. I open my eyes and look at him, I love this, I loved how he skipped my lips and kissed me on the forehead, which dint really mean I dint want to be kissed, I did, maybe it was just too early.

"I'm going to miss you for the rest of the night until I see you again tomorrow"

"Me too" I say as I jump on him and give him the tightest hug possible.

He waits outside until I'm inside the house and then finally gets in his car and drives off.

Such a perfect day it had been, everything was good, there was nothing I could complain about, if words were enough to express my happiness I would.

I skipped dinner at Lavanya's place so that makes me hungry right now, I don't care if it's midnight, I walk in the kitchen and find myself something to eat. I take my plate to the hall and switch on the TV. I sit on the couch as i switch through the channels until I find something I can watch, I take a bite and feel as if I can no more eat. I'm hungry but I can't eat, that weird feeling inside my stomach has been so damn irritating.

It's been quite a while that I've been experiencing it but I normally brush it off thinking it's just my stomach that's upset. I return back the plate to the kitchen and clean it up. I find the knife that might have been lying on the dining table for the past few days now.

I pick it up so that I can put it back in place but I don't understand what happens to me suddenly, I just hold it in my hand and stare at it as if it's an evidence to someone's murder.

I start drawing designs with in on my hand trying to press it a bit harder, it doesn't really cut but it just makes me feel something. I suddenly take myself back and throw the knife in the sink as I rush inside my room.

I jump on the bed and break down completely. I think about Arnav, and how I'd always been wishing that someday he'd fall for me like I fell for him, and today he told me what he felt for me and I am supposed to be happy about it, but I am not.

Okay it's like I am happy and I'm not happy and I don't know why it's happening to me. I just lie on my bed for a while thinking about nothing else, my mind is blank and I feel numb, as if I feel nothing at all, and everything at once, it's very disturbing.

"Cookie!" I hear someone shout my name as I jump out of my bed directly and rush to open the door.

Arnav is standing right in front of me all dressed up and I'm hear standing in front of him in my night dress.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I walk back inside and he follows me.

"You forgot that we had a date today! Come on cookie, I just told you yesterday that I'll come at your place for breakfast, and you were still sleeping, it's ten o'clock already, what's up with you?"

"I'm sorry I forgot about it, and don't ask me about my sleep, I've been like over sleeping for weeks now, like I'd sleep at eight and waking up at seven in the morning in still difficult. If this keeps on happening, my boss is soon going to fire me"

"It just happens, summer just began so maybe it's the weather that's making you over sleepy, now go take shower, I'll cook something for us meanwhile"

I stand there as I stare at him with a smile and he stares back at me.

"What?"

"If I'd have brushed my teeth, I would kiss you right away, you're so adorable, just like a teddy... the perfect boyfriend types you know"

"A teddy? Seriously cookie, it's high time you grow up"

"I never will" I giggle as I rush to take a shower.

I stand still as the water splashes all over me from the shower, I wonder if what I said to Arnav a while back was right, should I have really said that to him or shouldn't I have? What if he thinks something else about it, or takes a wrong meaning out of it.

Maybe I shouldn't have said that, I'd have to learn to keep my mouth in control, but he's my boyfriend and I can tell him anything, even the dirty jokes, why the hell am I worried about such a small thing that's so normal? I turn of the shower and walk to my bedroom, I stare at my wardrobe for a while and finally pick out a white dress.

When I walk to the hall, I find Arnav still busy in the kitchen cooking, I stand there for a while as I stare at him, its cute how he's so engrossed into it that he doesn't even realize I'm standing there watching him.

I don't care if it's too early to get closer to him, but he's my boyfriend and seeing him like this makes me want to kiss him right away, the urge inside me doesn't just go.

I walk towards him and pull him, he stares at me surprised but there's this cute smile on his face that always drives me crazy. Without wasting another second, I move closer to his mouth and claim for his lips, he's surely a bit surprised but he doesn't pull back, he gets hold of me as he pulls me closer kissing me back.

His mouth tastes of orange juice, I'm sure he'd been drinking some while cooking and it's the perfect taste, the taste of his mouth with some orange flavor.

I pull apart and blush as she just stands still staring at me, he doesn't say a word for a few moments and then he suddenly turns away and continues with the cooking.

I walk to the hall and take a seat after switching on the TV.

"Khushi!" Arnav shakes me

"Yeah" I ask as I turn to look at him.

"I have called you out more than ten times, the TV is on but you aren't watching it, what's happening, where are you lost?"

"Nowhere, I was just wondering if I'll still be alive after eating food cooked by you" I giggle

"It isn't funny" he frowns as he walks away.

I walk to the table and sit down next to him, he serves food for the both of us, I stare at him and just wonder if I really deserve this man, he's been treating me so well since we were friends and all I can do in return for him is to forget about the first ever breakfast date we had and to be lost when he's around me. Why can't I just be normal with him? Like I had usually been?