Gealach pats the dirt from her soft skin and rubs her eyes, trying to focus on her surroundings. Three other beings surround her. "She's beautiful." A soft raspy voice states. Gealach blinks some more. The thought finally hits her. "Mama?" Two of the three objects jump, "Her first word!" She realizes these two... potatoes are her parents. "Dada?" The other potato smiles, his mustache forming a "u". Behind her father was another potato. The potato had big eyelashes and a velvet red lipstick on. "Sissy?" Both parents look at their other daughter. Her eyes light up, but her sister looks away. "Polly, please come see your sister." 

"I have to go."

"Polly!-" A door is slammed and their home rumbles, little dirt pebbles falling here and there. The parents look at their new child again, and  they smile, knowing she'll have an amazing life. 

*11 Potato Years Later*

"Gealach darling, I love you with all my heart... I'm so sorry you have to see me like this. I knew smoking was going to get the best of me... You'll live with your father and sister." 

"But, Polly won't be back home until the baby is born."

"I wish I could see my first grandchild. Even though Polly is only 16, I still love her." 

"Mom..."

"Gealach, I see the light darling, hold my hand." Her mother brings her hands to her lips and kisses her soft potato hands. 

"Goodbye my beautiful daughter." The machine makes a solid beep and then goes silent. Nurses swarm in and take her away. Gea stands up, tears in both her eyes. The 11 year old just lost her closest family member. 

*A Potato Year Later*

"GEA! CAN YOU PLEASE GET THE BABY?" Polly shouts down from her smoke filled room. Her and her boyfriend, Yammer, are smoking sprouts. 

Gea groans and walks up into the small room her and the baby share. Her nephew Starch. "Hey buddy, its alright." She lifts up the small potato and sits down on her bed and rocks him. His crying soothes and a small smirk goes across his face. He makes baby noises and Gea plays with him. Suddenly, the door slams open and Yammer comes in. "Why didn't you bring Starch to us? We thought he was in trouble." 

"If he was do you think he'd be silent?" Gea gives a smart remark. Yammer glares and growls. "Don't you ever back talk me!"

"You aren't the boss of me!"

"Yes I am! You have no parents no more!" 

"I HATE YOU! YOU ARE NO WHERE NEAR A PARENT YOU SELFISH, OFF YOUR FACE, ASSTATER!" 

Yammer raises his hand and hits Gea across the face, most of her potato skin coming off with it. Yammer takes the screaming Starch away and leaves Gea in her room, sobbing, wishing for her Dad, and her Mom back...

*5 Potato Years Later* 

Gea reads the text from her sister, "You better be home soon." She only laughs and the potato beside her questions. "What are you laughing at?" Her eyes go wide and she looks at the very attractive brown potato in front of her. "Woah. Uh... just my sister." Gea plays with her skin. "I'm Spud, and you are...?" "Gealach, or Gea." She grabs his hand and they shake, but don't release. 

"Would you like to go out sometime?" He asks, a big dimpley smile on his face. 

"Yes." 

*5 More Potato Years* 

"Do you Spud take Gealach to be your lawfully wedded potato."

"I do."

"And do you, Gealach take Spud to be your lawfully wedded potato."

"I do." 

"In the power invested in me, by the College of Irish Potatoes, I now pronounce you potato lovers. You may kiss the potato." 

After their honeymoon everything seemed to go down hill. "Gea! Babe, where's dinner!?" 

"I'm sorry, I worked late." 

"Well hurry the fuck up!"

"I'm sorry." 

"Apologizing isn't going to help." 

Gea throws her stuff down and runs to the bathroom. The thought of making supper made her sick. She pukes and totally forgets about why she was actually late home... She takes the stick out of the paper bag and does her business, after cleaning up her mess from before. She washes her hands and lets the stick sit for a little while. She goes to the kitchen to make dinner. 

After she sets the dinner table and calls Spud over she runs to the bathroom. She picks up the stick and see's the two lines. She covers her mouth and slides down the bathroom wall and begins to cry. A few minutes later there is a knock at the door. "Gea? Are you okay?" She instantly hides the test and stands up. She rubs her eyes and goes out. "Nothing, sorry. How was dinner?"

"Wonderful. Is there something you want to tell me?" 

"Spud..."

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant." 

*6 Months Later* 

"I really don't feel well Spud." 

"I don't care. I need clothes washed for tomorrow." 

Gea had enough, and so did the baby in her stomach. 

"YOU KNOW WHAT SPUD? WASH THEM YOUR DAMN SELF! I'M A WALKING DOUBLE POTATO AND IT HURTS LIKE SHIT TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE THERE'S ANOTHER POTATO INSIDE OF ME. BECAUSE OF YOU!" 

Spud balls up his fists after getting off the couch. He hits her, making her fall to the ground right on her stomach. A huge pain rips through her body. She screams and Spud is instantly by her side, "Oh my Potato Goddess, I am so sorry Gea." 

"CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE, SOMETHING IS WRONG!" Gea rolls to her back and caresses her belly. "Oh my god, sh, Mama is still here." She tries whispering to the baby. 

At the hospital Spud passes back and forth. 

In the room Gea is getting interrogated by a Police Potato. 

"So what did happen?" 

"He hit me..."

"Who?"

"My damned husband... Spud." Gea stares right at the wall, her black eyes frozen. 

"Well we'll have to ask him about th-"

"THERE'S SKIN MISSING OFF MY FACE." Gea nearly screams. 

"We're sorry ma'am but-"

"But nothing, you're terrible potatoes..." 

The Police Potato leaves, and a nurse comes in. 

"We're going to give you an ultra sound love, does that sound okay?"

"Anything to make sure my baby is still alive." 

An hour goes by and the nurse frowns. "Mrs. Gealach... I'm sorry, but... we couldn't find a heartbeat. The fall must have..."

"No..."

"NO!"

"NO!" 

"NO!" Gea screams at the top of her lungs until she can't anymore. 

*30 Potato Years Later* 

Gea grabs her clothing from the Police Potato and walks out of the prison. She stabbed her husband after she was released from the hospital. She remembers all of his skin falling to the ground after she peeled, piece by piece, and listened to his screams. 

Gea now had wrinkles here and there on her still soft potato skin, but as she stands on the edge of a beautiful sea shore she thinks about how much her past has impacted her. She got a carving for every single thing that's happened to her. The biggest carving she has is her mother's last words. "Goodbye My Beautiful Daughter" on her back. She has the stretch marks from carrying her unborn baby around. 

Gea lifts her head up and her black dress flows around her old skin. 

Her skin is hard now, because what russet has soft skin? 

~The End~