Substitute Teacher (in Space)

[[ Uhh I found y'all a meme? It's at the top so yeet skeet ]]

[[ OH and also the story doesn't actually have anything to do with space BUT there's a character in it from another show and in the show there's a song called "Substitute Teacher in Space" so I had to do the pun NOT SORRY (and yet another reference) ]]

What to expect:
—Featuring the best Disney Character EVER
—Identity Reveal

— — —

Noise. Sound. Loud.

Not good.

Peter's ears burned from the yelling of his classmates. Slumping down on the cold desk, he could feel his senses acting up. Shit.

He glanced over at his best friend, Ned, who gave him a sympathetic look. Peter groaned—a mistake, given his senses were already acting up.

A cough at the front of the room caught his attention. It was a very commanding cough—that is, if a voice crack could sound commanding. Though it seemed to do it's job, as the class quieted down.

"Thank you." The voice was almost iconic, but Peter couldn't quite place it. "I'll be your substitute teacher today."

The substitute had an odd, angular face. His chin seemed to just out and his brown hair looked as though it hadn't been brushed. He resembled a bird—a very, very ugly bird. A bird so ugly it didn't exist.

Okay, so he didn't really look like a bird, but Peter really didn't know what to compare him too.

"Today," the substitute started, grabbing a piece of chalk and starting to write on the board, "We're going to be talking about genetics. I think. Is that what you kids are learning these days?" Turning back to the class he sighed. "You should be learning the fun stuff, like how to get yourself a nemesis."

Someone raised their hand. "Do you have a nemesis?" They asked.

The sub gave an offended gasp. "Of COURSE I have a nemesis! He's Perry the Platypus!"

Then it clicked. Peter knew. The iconic voice, the jutting chin, the god-awful bird he resembled...

How had he not noticed before!? Was he that tired? I guess I should catch up on my sleep... Peter mused. Then he shook his head. Not important right now.

Raising his hand, Peter patiently waited to be called on. He didn't have long to wait as the sub quickly called on him.

"Are you..." Peter paused. What was he doing? That wasn't a real person—and yet, he'd already started asking...

"Are you Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"

"Did I not introduce myself?" At the chorus of 'no', Doof rubbed the back of his neck. "Oh, heh heh, sorry. Now to answer your question," he turned back to face Peter, "I am Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz!" He ended with an evil cackle that could have out done the Witch of the West.

A cough. "Who?" one student asked.

Peter slammed his hands on the desk so hard he almost broke it(he heard it crack—but that wasn't important right now.) "HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW OF THE EVIL THAT IS DR. HEINZ DOOFENSHMIRTZ," He gestured at Doof with his hands, scowl on his face, "YOU SHOULD BE QUIVERING IN FEAR!"

"See, he gets it," Doof said proudly.

"Is he that bad?" The student was really shaking now, "what has he done? And why is he allowed to teach?"

"He's teaching for his community service hours—instead of jail time, y'know?" Peter responded before going back to full-on raging fan-mode, "But what has he done? I'll tell you what he's done!"

Peter stepped up on top of his desk which let out a creak. "Dr. Doofenshmirtz has built a robot named Norm—but not just any robot, one with emotions. Not just anyone can do that!" (Mr. Stark did it, he reminded himself. But still, that's Mr. Stark.)

"He built the turn-inanimate-objects-evil-inator! Which, is evil and bad, obviously. But it works! And it's like, super cool!" Peter fan-boyed, "AND he built the chicken-replace-inator, which replaces something with the nearest chicken! OOH OOH and the hand-to-foot-inator! How do you change biology like that?!"

"And that one time he cloned the Platypuses! And that one time he basically caused the zombie apocalypse but instead of zombies everyone was turning into clones of him." Peter paused. "How did that work, by the way?"

"I have no idea."

"Cool." Peter continued from there, listing random inventions like the deflate-inator and the age-accelerator-inator and the copy-and-paste-inator(a cloning device—Peter would have to ask about that later.)

Then a crack filled the classroom as Peter's desk was crushed beneath his weight.

Ned jolted from his seat and helped Peter get up. "Ooh! Ooh!" Doof yelled, pulling something from his bag, "let me clean up the mess with..." standing up on the teacher's desk Doof presented the, "Cleaning-Down-Inator!"

Peter really shouldn't have ignored the buzz at the back of his neck. He figured it was just his senses acting up—which was obviously wrong, saying as he was in the same room as Dr. D.

"I just have to switch it to reverse," Doof said, fiddling with a knob on the device, "So I cleans up instead of down."

Doof shot the desk with the ray. Or at least, he tried to. Peter mainly regretted ignoring his Spidey-Sense now, because instead of firing the ray, Doof hit the self destruct button.

Shit.

Peter acted quickly, catching the soon-to-blow up ray in a spider-web and throwing it out the window moments before it destroyed the classroom.

There was silence as a loud BOOM shook the building.

There was silence.

Then a chorus of "WHAT!?"s and that's when Peter knew he'd never be normal again.

"Hey Doof?" Peter groaned, "Think I could borrow the Forget-about-it-inator?"

— — —
(A/N)
Word Count: 911
Written: January 7th, 2020

Uhh sooo

I love Doof oml he makes my top ten favorite Disney character list. (I don't know who the others would be, but he's up there for sure)

All the inators mentioned ARE canon inators. Except for the Cleaning-Down-Inator. I made that one up but it still refrences the show so I figured it was close enough.

I didn't expect the chapter to be as long as it is. I figured 500-600 words at the most but NO apparently I can write nearly a thousand words when it comes to ma boi Doof

Sooo uhh hope you enjoyed?

Also I mentioned it in my other fanfic book but I've actually seen some Marvel Movies now. Uhh I already mentioned that I saw Dr. Strange but I've now seen Iron Man 1 and 2, as well as Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Oh! I'm also taking a writing class in school now! Hopefully these one-shots will get better by the end of the semester.

So, uh, yeah! Have a nice day my dudes!

//Reference List\\
A list of references to Doof's shows in this chapter(including A/Ns)

- Substitute Teacher in Space (Referencing the song by the same title)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

- NOT SORRY (A/N at top) (referencing Dr. Not Sorry)

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

- Comparing Doof to a Bird (one time Doof trapped Perry by tricking him with a bird that looked like his head)
- The 'Cleaning-Down-Inator' references something Milo and Sarah mentioned in S2, E11 of MML so not Doof directly but same show
- All the inators

That should about cover all the references I made? And to clear this up real quick(in case you don't remember)

Yes, Doof actually did teach for a bit. In the last season I think. Taught Vanessa's Science class.

And I guess when he tried to use the inator to clean up the desk that Peter broke somewhat referenced when Doof tried to shrink or grow something but accidentally hit the school with his ray instead.

Anywayyyyy have a nice day. Bai~