I apologie ahead of time for lack of action, we all know it's not my thing writing fight scenes. 

Steve watched as Natasha slept on his couch fast asleep after late-night activities. They were currently at his apartment away from all prying eyes. The Black Widow was now wanted by the FBI and no one was playing nice anymore. Steve had been working with her in order to save her, however, that all might change. 

Last night Steve had gotten an email from an anonymous source stating that he knew he had Natasha and had proof. He also said that he was in danger and sent him video evidence that Natasha was playing with him yet again. He didn't want to open it but something in him was tugging him towards the videos so he opened it. 

Inside were over fifty videos of Natasha, some of her making calls strictly in the Russian language.  Some were of her stealing information from Starks computer. Others consisted of her meeting with people when she claimed to be going on a mission for Shield. At least that's what she told him. But out of all of them, one hit him like a punch in the gut. She was speaking to Bucky. This was only a month ago. Steve had been looking for him for over three years, she knew how important he was to him and yet she kept his whereabouts a secret. They had over twenty conversations. Natasha knew where Bucky was. Now he was mad. 

"Steve what are you doing?" a voice asked. Steve looked up, he eyes laced with betrayal and hurt. Natasha could see this despite the darkness around them. "Are you okay?" 

"How long have you known where Bucky was?" He asked, his voice low and horse. Natasha sat up throwing her legs over the side of the couch sending a confused look at him. 

"Steve what are you talking about?" She asked although she made it sound like she had no idea what he was talking about Steve knew the truth. 

"Don't play dumb with me Natasha, how long have you known?" He asked, his voice was threatening and made her flinch. She stood up and tried to make her way over to him. 

"Steve list-" 

"Don't you dare take another step closer." He said making her stop dead in her tracks. Steve was now standing making sure to keep the distance between them. Natasha couldn't deny there was hurt lacing through her veins, but what did she except because just as she feared they got to him. He turned his laptop showing her a large number of videos on his computer. 

"You don't understand Steve, that wasn't me. None of that is... okay well maybe a few but Steve you have to, believe me, they are setting me up. I don't know where Bucky is I promise you that." 

"My entire life since I gave back from the ice people have been telling me nothing but lies, and I thought that you would be different, but you are just like the rest of them." He said shutting Natasha up. "I am done." 

"Steve please don't do this. You are going to regret this. Yes, I did come to spy on you all and take you down on the inside. However, I met you and the rest of you and you guys became my family and I didn't think it would happen but it did. I changed Steve and I have been trying to get away but they pulled me in too deep they were going to hurt you guys. I couldn't let that happen." She tried her best to explain. 

"Yet you never asked for help Natasha, we are a team we are supposed to have each other back had you come earlier we may have believed you but now anything you say sounds like a lie." He said and walked over to the door. "I don't ever want to see you in my apartment again, the next time I see you it will be when you are being prosecuted." 

"Please don't do this Steve. I didn't want them to hurt you, you have to believe me. Let me explain." She pleaded with him. Natasha needed him to believe her. 

"You didn't want them to hurt me however you are doing that fine on your own." He said. There was silence between them before Steve spoke. "Natasha Romanoff you are under arrest." She looked at him as if she was going to regret the next decisions. 

"Don't do this Steve," She pleaded with him hoping that he would see her side. Unfortunately, he didn't and she knew she had to leave, and before Steve could even make a step closer to her she was gone. Both of them hurt, both of them broken in need of each other unfortunately they couldn't have each other. 

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It's been 14 days since their encounter and Natasha had nowhere to go. All the safe houses she had planted around the world could be found by Fury because she set them up withing Shield. Any she had with the red room can obviously be found by them, and she didn't want to go back to them. never again.

She was in France today after sneaking away from the united states was probably her best bet, she couldn't face those guys anymore. So now here she was. Fourteen days without food or drink, and when fourteen days go by you start feeling a bit bad. Not to mention she was waking up sick and nauseous every morning that this extra sickness was making her lose focus. 

"Well, would you look at that." Natasha was sitting against a wall in some alley trying to get rid of the spinning in her mind. She couldn't see who was talking but a part of her knew. "You look pathetic." 

"What do you want." She mustered out despite the newly found pain that made it's way into her chest making her bite down on her lip. "Where is Ivan?" 

"Ivan is dead, let you get away to fucking much it was time to bring you in, and you know what I want. I want you to take down the Avengers but of course, you couldn't do that. Is there anything you can do because if so I haven't seen it yet." He spoke with anger lacing his voice and Natasha felt a sharp pain her in stomach and yelped in pain. "well it seems you have brought be something better than taking down the Avengers," He said and then more steps filled her ears and there was mumbling among the group, Natasha couldn't make out what they were saying. Before she could even make a move to run she was being lifted and thrown into a car.

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It's been 8 months since Steve told Natasha to leave and there had been no spotting of her anywhere. The Avengers have been searching high and low but who were they kidding? She was the black widow if she didn't want to be found she wasn't going to be found. 

No one has been the same since her departure. From Tony working alone in his lab and Thor constantly drinking his Asgardian med, the lose of Natasha weighed on them all. Bruce and Clint had tried combining science and Natasha's mind to find her yet nothing came up. Clint knew for sure that she wouldn't be in the United States, she was smarter than that. It was just a wild goose chase. 

While they were all searching for her, Steve buried himself in his work. He stayed away from any topic concerning Natasha unless it was to search an area where people claimed to have seen her, which were always dead ends. 

Today they were all in their living room going over new missions coming up to take down a new hydra base that was just found by S.H.I.E.L.D. Steve was, of course, mission leader and was standing before them explaining a map to them all. 
"The bass its self will be surrounded by guards; strategically breaking in will be a probably be near to impossible." He said it was much harder to do missions now, considering that they lost their best spy. 

"So I am guessing the Green guy probably won't be much help in this mission?" Bruce asked scratching the back of his head. Steve looked over at him prepared to answer when the screen behind him started to glitch. 

"Tony, what's going on? I am not in the mood for one of your games." Steve said rubbing his head in utter annoyance. Tony put his hands up in innocence. 

"That's not! If it was there would probably be some grand over the top video playing in the back round, of course, the American flag and the national anthem. But this is just a simple glitch, not me." Tony explained. 

"Just fix it" Steve ordered causing the billionaire to groan getting up from his seat. Before he even had a chance to reach the tv it a video popped up, the same video appearing on the screens of all of their phones. 

"Tony, what is this?" Steve asked as nothing was playing yet but the small whimper of a girls voice could be heard from the distance in the video. 

"I am not sure, we are being hacked... no" He said looking through Jarvis's database. "The entire world is getting hacked, everyone with a screen is seeing this video," Tony said working fast to try and get it down. "I can't take it down, whoever is doing this is good, too good." 

"Hello," A voice said, the Avengers all shot up their heads to see a large man appearing on the screens. "My name is Baron Strucker, I am sure you remember me." All the Avengers sent each other looks, he was dead. "I have a message for my old friends. The Avengers." 

Steve gave his team members a look, their eyes were all glued to the tv in shock. When they first encountered this man he was barely strong enough to have a conversation with Steve, now he looked as if he was twice the size he used to be. 

"I hear you are missing your assassin. How about we make a deal." He spoke as if he knew that they were watching. "Captain, I have a little idea, you had over yourself and I will give you what you want." They all looked at Steve, only to see he was just as confused as everyone else. They watched Strucker carefully. "This is a message for the captain."

He turned the camera to reveal a woman help up by what Steve believed was her feet, on the ceiling,  they were only able to see her hands and face which had blood dripping from every inch of them. She was being hit but some sort of rope every few seconds, the sounds of her cries could be heard more clearly now. 

"remember her? Yeah, she was such a beautiful lady, too bad she had to go and fall in love. You all should have trusted her when she told the captain she hadn't had contact from us. When we reached out it had probably been over ten years since our last contact, but now look at us reunited at last."  He placed a hand on her face. Steve's hands clenched as he watched him touch her. "Too bad you didn't trust her. She never gave us any information on you. Never once. But here we are ready to take you down because while she never gave us the information to take down all the Avengers, she gave us enough for the captain." 

The video began to zoom out on Natasha's almost unconscious body. Steve was in shock as he saw her stomach appear on the screen, it had to be twice the size of when he last saw it. She was Pregnant. 

"Isn't it great? I mean I never had the chance to have children but this one would make a fine soldier." He commented Steve wanted to scream out when the sick man reached out to touch her stomach.  "But of course if that's not what you see you child pursuing a career in I am in a trading mood." He turned to the camera getting more serious. "The child for Captain America. And I would hurry, I don't know how much longer my friend here can wait until he joins the future." 

And with that the video was cut, leaving a stunned team. All this time they had been blaming Natasha, but she had done nothing to sell them out. Hydra really knew nothing about them. At least not from her. She was leaving to save them, not to work with hydra. 

Steve was shocked and confused, all this time he had been blaming Natasha for ruining everything. For cutting a deep wedge between all of the Avengers, when she never did anything to hurt them. Had they only believed her. 

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It's been a few days since the world saw the pain Natasha was going through. The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D had been getting messages and videos showing Natasha being abused, screaming from the pain.

"ENOUGH," Steve yelled in a loud authoritative voice, causing everyone to flinch. The video showed Natasha being hit and every time she was hit he felt it, when he head was dunked into the water he lost his breath, it was all too much. "I don't want to see another one of those damn videos, we are going to find her and we are bringing her home." 

"Steve no one knows where she is at-" Tony tried finding the words to explain but Steve wasn't hearing it. 

"Then find her!" He yelled before leaving the area. He needs air, he needs Natasha. He felt like this was all his fault, everything happening was because he pushed her away, had he believed her, had he let her finish he would have seen the truth, he wouldn't be in this mess. But he was and it was his fault.  He was going to get her back. 

He was going to get his child back. 

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Natasha laid on the cold wet floor enjoying the moments of not being beaten. She loved not having to worry about reopening cuts. She was barely holding on. 
"My love." She said in a small voice caressing her stomach. She knew there was very little hope that she would get out but if by chance life gave her a hand she wanted to bond with her baby. 
"I need you to stay just a bit longer. I don't want you to be born in this world. It isn't safe for you." She swallowed thinking of the possibility of him having to be born in...hell. "I want you to make it out of here, but I don't know how that is going to work. I want to have hope your father will come but I know better. He doesn't want us..." She sighed and hugged herself closer. "If we don't make it out I won't let them hurt you. They won't touch you." 

"Having these encourenging moments with your unborn son won't prevent the unpreventable." He said and then two guards came in and grabbed Natasha by the arms pulling her up. "Too bad hope won't be in your vocabulary anymore." 

They took her to a room, it was white and had one chair in the very middle of the room. She put on the chair and wires were put on her, Natasha couldn't make any move because she was exhausted. Once she was hooked up they left the room and Natasha shut her eyes trying to get much-needed sleep. Unfortunately, Stucker's voice filled the room.

"Who are you." 

No answer.

shock. 

"AHHHH!" She screamed as the electricity flowed through her veins. She closed her eyes trying to forget the pain occurring to her. Suddenly the pain stopped. 

"Who are you." 

"Natasha Romanoff." She answered way to fast in order to protect her baby from the pain.

"you are not Natasha Romanoff. You will never be Natasha Romanoff." The electricity started again, sending Natasha unbelievable pain. "What is your name." She decided not to answer, she didn't know what was worse. 

"Again." 

"What is your name........" 

"again." 

"What is your name?" 

"Natasha Romanoff!" She yelled through the screams. Strucker frowned. She was hard to break. This went on for almost four hours. The pain was so real, Natasha was sure had it been connected to her stomach she would have given up a long time ago. 

"What is your name?" He asked and then there was silence, only for a few seconds before Natasha's tired and worn out voice spoke up. 

"Black Widow." 

"Who is going to save you?" 

"No one, I am not saveable." 

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Steve and Clint were running through the Hydra base, after finding out exactly which one Natasha was being kept as they quickly made their way over there. Tony Hulk and Thor were outside taking care of the rather large army, which included Strucker. 

Steve and Clint had searched almost every inch of the base until they reached an area which made chills run down their spines. Walking around the entire hallway and searching down every single room they came across. Steve silently praying that one of these doors held her. She had to be here. She just had to. 

Finally, they opened a door and there laid Natasha on the floor, blood covering the majority of her body, her hair matted and stained with blood as well. Steve could have sworn his heart broke in that moment.  She laid their unconscious as Steve slowly moved over to her. 

"Steve we have to get her out of here," Clint said, he was out of breath and trying desperately not to break down at the moment. Steve nodded his head and kneeled down on the floor. He started pulling her closer to his lap while trying to understand where she was hurt the most. She groaned in pain as he moved her. 

"Natasha it's me, we are here we are going to get you home, you are going to be safe with me." He said but was that try? He was one of the reasons she was in this hell hole. 

Taking her the quin jet proved to be a challenge, as Clint was the only one who could fight because if he moved an inch then Natasha would groan in agonizing pain. But after thirty minutes of dodging and fighting, they made it to the jet. Natasha was still unconscious as they flew off. 

"Bruce you need to go and check Natasha I am unsure what her injuries are," Steve explains when they begin flying out of the place. Bruce nodded and start to see what they did to her. Steve watched from the corner many thoughts running through his mind. He wished he had gotten his hands on Strucker because he wants to kill him. But Tony had taken care of him. 

Steve watched, completely ignoring the fact that Bruce was talking them through what she was going through. This was the first time he has seen her baby bump. This was when he realized how much he had missed and how much she had to go through. He walked up to her and looked down at her, she looked so broken it hurt him so much. He reached his hand out and put it on her stomach. He needed them both to be okay or he could never forgive himself. 

Natasha's eyes shot open at the feeling of someone touching her baby. She grabbed his hand and quickly pushed Steve to the wall hands around his neck. 
"Don't you dare touch him, HE IS MINE!" 

"Natasha please." Steve chocked out, everyone stood there afraid to approach her. 

"Red look at me," Tony said, Natasha reluctantly peeled her gaze from Steve to look at Tony. "Do you know who we are?" He asked gazing into her eyes pleading for some or any kind of recognition.  

"You want to lock me up. Just like they do, you want to take away my baby."  Natasha said before turning back to Steve. 

"Nat," Clint spoke this time hoping to get her attention. "Please. We are sorry we never meant for you to go through all this pain but you told us you were leaving." He tried making her see his ways. 

"None of you came after me. You all believed I could betray you just like that?" She asked, not even a tear-laced her face, only dried blood. 

"Nat I did." Steve tried to say despite the fact that he was being choked to near death, but he wouldn't hurt her. He didn't know if could whether or not she was pregnant with his child. 

"Then you left me. You told me to get out! I had to fight for my life. I had to fight for HIS life!" Natasha cried out. "You didn't even give me a chance to explain! You let them get me! You put us both a risk. I NEVER ANY OF YOU! " She cried out. " I never gave them anything to give against you!" She was looking at Steve the entire time. "I thought I told you that!" Natasha said. "I never met with Bucky! I told you that. It wasn't me! Why didn't you believe me!" She cried out and that's when she started to lose consciousness. Steve quickly cradled her in his arms. They all stood there confused and guilty.  

Why didn't they believe her? They automatically assumed she was telling them the truth. They never even stopped to think she was in trouble. She was supposed to be their friend, yet here she was crying because no one trusted her. Despite their constant telling her that she was not that spy they still treated her like she was. They were as guilty as Hydra. 

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Natasha and Steve's son as more only three weeks after Natasha was put onto bed rest. Steve has yet to meet his son, Clint has yet to see his nephew. No one but Doctor Cho has even laid eyes on the baby beside his mother. Natasha didn't allow anyone to come in, she knew or at least she thought she knew that they would take them. 

Steve was too guilty. After everything she had told him he felt like a monster. She went through so much because no one believed her. But he just couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't allow himself to miss out on his son's life any longer. 

"Steve she needs time," Clint told him. He himself was feeling rather guilty for his actions. 

"I can't do this anymore. I want to be part of my child's life. I already missed out on his birth because I wasn't man enough to walk up to that door. I don't want her to believe she has to do this all on her own." Steve said before walking down the hall. No one stopped him. 

Natasha carefully watched Steve as he walked into the room. She was in the middle of changing her son's clothes however making sure that she brought him closer to her chest. 

Steve saw her movements and couldn't help but frown. He remembered the times he had come home from a long mission to pull her into his arms and just snuggle her. She would sometimes wait in his room and surprise him with dinner. He remembered the times when they were just so inseparable. And now look at them, she can barely stand being in the same room. 

"If you're here to kick me out don't worry about it, I am leaving as of tonight." She spoke as if it's the most casual thing in the world. Steve's heart just started to boil, but he had to keep his cool. 

"you aren't taking him, Natasha, I am his father. He needs his father in his life." Steve said. 

"Why should he stay in your life? The last thing I would want is for him to get attacked and then to be told that the people he loves don't trust him." She said and then picked James up taking him to his crib as he was falling asleep. 

"Natasha..." He sighed, how was he ever going to get her trust back. The last real conversation he had with her he decided to take away everything between them because Hyrda got in his mind. 

"You can't just come back and pretend nothing happened Steve, it doesn't work that way." She told him. Steve nodded as if he was giving up, which hurt Natasha because he wasn't going to fight for her. 

"Can you just let me say something? " he asked looking at her in the eyes trying to find the last piece of her heart that he didn't break. 

"I don't think anything you say can change how I feel." She said "but go ahead," 

"Words can't describe how sad I am right now knowing that you have given up on me. The worst part is knowing it is my own fault because I didn't listen to you I told you to trust me and you did and I repaid you by throwing you out. I am so sorry for all the stupid things I have said and done. You are the most amazing girl. You are truly beautiful on the inside and out. It's hurting me so much to know I have ruined it with you. I've ruined your heart. If only there was a reset button I could press because I love you so much. My heart is heavy with hurt, those tears are now my hurt. I feel the shame because I now only realize the hurt I caused you! You may never forgive me. I may be too late. You may already be gone. Or should I say that I am the one who may be gone, from your heart? Thinking about all of this and how much I hurt the best girlfriend in the world just makes me cry. I do realize though it isn't close to the hurt you must have felt from the pain I caused in your heart. I wish one day to again have this heart I have damaged so badly. Have it open up and forgive this foolish guy who took so long to see the pain and hurt he caused. But, it may not. It's your heart's choice. One that will not happen overnight. It may not even happen in time before some greater soul than mine finds it and cherishes it as it deserves. I cling on to the hope that the heart that I've cherished and hurt, truly knows how sorry I am for the pain I caused. All I can say I'm sorry to you, my love, my girlfriend and the best thing that's ever happened to me. All I can ask is humbly for forgiveness. Please forgive me. I only know now how it must have hurt and I understand the pain. I never really did before. Now I that I know what that pain feels like I will never ever subject it on anyone else. I hope you will give me the chance to prove it." 

Natasha was silent, his words had touched her somewhere in her broken heart and she couldn't deny it. She knew she would always love him, but how was he suppose to forget, forget everything from her team, her partners, her friends, her loves? 

"I know this won't be overnight, but Nat we all care about you so much and we want the chance to see that. So please can you allow us to do that?" 

"I don't want to be hurt anymore." She said looking away. 

"you aren't alone, you don't have to do this alone we can do it-" 

"together?" She asked looking in his eyes, this was a huge risk but for the love of her son and the small belief left in her heart, she was ready to build her family back together. he nodded at her. 

"Together." 

And through it wasn't a happily ever after, it was enough to start the next chapter of their book.