TW:ANXIETY,DEPRESSION,PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACK/BETRAYAL/SELF HATE

Also, real short... sorry.

Hey guys! I needed somewhere to put my shit! Here we go.

Third person point of view

Every Friday night the avengers have a movie night. They take tickets to draw to decide who picks the movie the snacks and dinner for the night. This week Peter won and so per usual they were watching Star Wars eating popcorn and had chow mein for dinner.

Peter's point of view

I open my journal and begin to write. It helps me calm down when I'm feeling anxious .

Dear diary, I am so excited to watch Star Wars tonight. We are watching Star Wars the last Jedi which I'm super excited about but I've honestly been kind of anxious lately. I really need it tonight and I'm really glad that I got drawn to pick this week. The kids at school been pretty awful to me. They keep calling names and stuff and sometimes I think that Natasha reads this journal because she always looks to me pitifully after I've written really bad entry. Not bad in the way like my writing skills are bad just like I talk here about my anxiety and my depression and how much I really dislike myself and how much I blame myself for their deaths. Not the avengers death of course they haven't died they're all alive but just people I couldn't save Spiderman and then my parents and my aunt my uncle. But nevertheless I'm really excited for tonight. Oh I have to go, dinners here! Bye. 

I look up from my journal and quickly stuff it in my desk drawer. I run down the stairs and grab my chow mein  off the counter. I sit at the dinner table with everyone and start to eat, but they are all staring at me.

"Um guys? Did I like take someone's food sorry if I did I was moving so fast that I didn't see the name on the top" I look at the lid, and it says PETER. Now I'm confused.

"No," Dad(Tony) says, looking uncomfterable, " we need to talk to you about something."

"Oh what is it?" I ask. Im really worried now. Aunt Nat breaks the silence.

"Peter I read your journal. I was just concerned and wanted to make sure you were OK so I read it but there's some really concerning stuff. Like really dark, blaming yourself, really bad self hate." Fuck. It took me a minute to understand, and now Im just plain angry.

"WHAT THE FUCK NATASHA!" I yell. "WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO THINK THAT GOING THROUGH SOMEONES PERSONAL JOURNAL, ABSOLOUTLY INVADING MY PRIVACY WAS A GOOD IDEA?" I am just so angry that I'm not even processing what I'm saying. 

" I DONT FUCKING CARE IF IT WAS FOR GOOD REASON I DONT FUCKING LOOK THROUGH STEVES

SKETCHBOOK, OR DO YOU DO THAT TOO?" Steve suddenly looks nervous.

"Nat? You, you didnt look through my sketchbook did you?" Everyone knew. Never touch Steves

sketch book.

"It was only a look. I was curious" if everyone was furious with Natasha, they were now. Even Clint looked angry. 

"I CANNOT BELEIVE YOU! YOU DONT EVEN LOOK SORRY!" Steve was screaming now too.

"ENOUGH!" I yell. My voice comes out cold and emotionless. "Enough. Romanoff. I have lost all trust I had in you. I thought you had boundries. I thought you had some decency to not look through others personal belongings. I was wrong. You are the cold hearted, invasive bitch that everyone sees you as, and I was stupid to think otherwise" I get up from the table, suddenly not hungry. I walk out the door, slamming it. Why. Why would she do this to me! I start to hyperventilate. 

"Peter buddy, just breathe with me. Its gonna be okay." My dad is next to me, hugging me.

"How could she," I sobbed, " How could she do this to me"

" I know it hurts buddy, I know. Its gonna be okay." He held me close as I sob into his arms.

"Lets watch Star Wars. Just you and me. Okay?" Dad says kindly. I nod and he picks me up bridal style, dropping me on the couch. I giggle when my back hits the couch. 

"Dad? Should I forgive her?" He looks at me, thinking.

"I think, that forgiving someone takes time. So if you do forgive her, it wont be overnight"

"Thanks Dad."

THE NEXT MORNING

I groan as I wake feeling a crick in my neck. I seen that sitting on the couch across from me. She stares at me for a moment first and starts to talk. 

"Peter, I am so sorry for looking through your journal I thought that if I could find out what you were feeling that I'd be able to help you cope better and I really hope that you can forgive me. I've already talk to Steve, he hasnt forgiven me yet, and I understand that, and can guess that will be the same for you. But, I hope eventually you can forgive me." I stare at her for a moment.

" I cant forgive you now, but I may be able to in the future. It will take time. But i will try." She nods. I think things are going to be okay again.

This is my first oneshot! Feel free to give me requests! Bye!

Pumpkinspicebae