"Goddamn, Barnes! Talk to me! Steve left, and you've haven't even looked at me! Don't shut me out!"

Bucky whirls on him, eyes wide. "He left us!" The words cut into his soul, digs through his heart. It's the only thing he's said since that day.

"He left us and you won't even say his name!" Sam yells.

"IT HURTS TOO MUCH!"

Sharon is beside him, gentle hand on his shoulder. They've haven't been together since Moscow. Bucky hid away like the cowardly lion; Sharon refused to leave his side; Sam went on mission after mission. But nothing could bring Steve back.

A mission gone wrong. Snow. Gun fire. Blood. So much fucking blood. Steve's blood. His fingers curl into a fist at the thought.

"He convinced me I was worthy of love," he cries out. He doesn't remember moving to the sofa. His teammates are a haze beside him. Sharon holds his hand the entire time; soft and sure - the only thing he knows. "When I woke up in Wakanda his first words were You're my brother, Buck. They gave me my brother back."

He refuses to meet Sam's burning gaze. "I know you lost him too," he says after a pause. "God, but you weren't there when we were kids. You weren't there to reassure him he was worthy of the mantel. You didn't hold his hand when his mom died. He was the only good thing I had!" A sob unravels from him. It's the echo of every year they spent together.

The weight of the world eases with every tear. His heart breaks as he clutches Sharon to his chest. He feels her chest rattle against his.
He cries until the sun comes up. They cry with him.

"You'll never be alone, Buck," is what Sam tells him on their first mission since Steve- died. Died. Steve's dead and he's not coming back.

"I know," is Bucky's reply. For once, he believes his own mind.