Yep. Because Infinity war Destroyed me, this is the result. This also slightly connects to my "Reunion" oneshot, and kinda transitions into it, if it makes any sense.... anyway, just read it and it'll make more sense. Also, a very long chapter, go me!

Today's quote: "What more could I lose?"
~Thor (obviously)

It couldn't have been more than a minute. It couldn't have. But even then, it seemed like the longest sixty seconds of Thor's 1500-year life. He'd thought he couldn't have lost any greater than he already had, but this . . .

This hit heavier than he had expected. Perhaps it was because he hadn't thought about the fact that they would lose, and was certain that the odds were in their favor as soon as Stormbreaker walked into the picture. Naturally, like most things in life, he had been wrong. Only this time, on a way bigger scale. 

Thor had had his doubts in the past - mostly when it came to his brother and Father - but this time, the doubtful and regretful thoughts that piled in his mind deemed superior to the previous ones. 

He wasn't injured, so what was this sharp aching he felt in his chest?

Grief, his mind whispered. This was grief - it was mourning. 

Grief not only for his brother and his best friend, but for half of the universe that had fallen into clouds of dust before the Almighty Thanos. 

Accompanying that gross feeling, was the sickening pinch of guilt. He knew why that was there - it was there because there was something more he could have done. He knew he could've killed Thanos right then and there, but he didn't. 

It was nothing more than a dumb mistake - he had meant to kill him, why wouldn't he have?

He had every right in the book to rip Thanos apart, and so far, that had gotten him nowhere. In fact, it had brought him back to ground zero, back to where this mess had all began. 

Here he was, broken, alone, defeated - and dare it be said - scared. More scared than he had been in his entire lifetime. He was mostly scared of the fact that he had no idea what to do, or where to go next. 

He had no family to turn to, no parents to warm his heart, no friends to reassure him . . . 

Sure, he had the Avengers, but he doubted they'd want anything to do with him right now, as they were too occupied with their own grief. 

So, he sat down against the dry soil of the forest, resting his throbbing head in his hands as his head rattled with thoughts of sorrow and remorse. 

What was left of the team had gathered round, Captain Rogers gazing upon the pale body that had once been Vision. Thor had forced himself to tear his eyes away from the corpse, not wanting to see his friend in such a state. 

Stark's friend, Colonel Rhodes, stood silently next to Thor, frozen, as his face was stripped of all emotion.  

Thor knew they hadn't accounted for everyone yet, but from what he was seeing, things weren't looking good - so far, he had only noticed Wanda and the Tree's abrupt absence, but the god had spotted other warriors that had fought alongside him and Captain Rogers that were missing, which was very disheartening. Banner stood slightly in front of Thor, wearing Stark's tech. The rabbit sat silently on a log to his right, his head pointed mournfully to the ground.

He took a shaky breath, trying to force all these emotions from his head, knowing and feeling that he needed to be strong for the good of the group. 

"Did we lose?" The rabbit's voice came from the log. 

Captain Rogers was the one to stand up, cracking the awkward silence following the Rabbit's question. "We did," he said slowly.

"Not true," Widow said, only half-heartedly. At least she was trying to raise everyone's hope, which, to no one's surprise, wasn't working. There was simply too much grief in the air, and so much tension, that it became near impossible to feel hopeful. "We can fix this," she piped up again, desperate. 

"Can we?" Thor rumbled, rising to his feet. "It seems as though something like this is irreversible. Perhaps we should consider the fact that we've lost for good this time."

"No," Cap fired back, turning to face Thor. "We have to fix this. We can't just call it quits. There has to be some way, we just don't know it yet."

"Captain Rogers," Thor started. "How do you anticipate a victory over something so gravely dangerous, that was able to stomp on the Almighty Avengers like they were nothing but ants? Thanos is much more powerful than you can imagine, I . . . . I've seen it firsthand. And what do you plan on using to aid you? Clearly we can't run back to battle with nothing but our spirits and wimpy hopes. By the Nine Realms, not even Stormbreaker, one of the most powerful things in this universe, could kill Thanos. Do you really think there's anything stronger to fight with?" he finished, his strong voice skillfully masking the tremendous amount of pain he was feeling. 

Captain Rogers stiffened, scowling, and Thor returned the gesture. Truth be told, there was a lot of things left unsaid between them - Thor knew that Rogers was wondering where he had been for the past years, after he zapped into thin air during the heat of the battle. Nevertheless, the air was thick with the frustration of loss that was quickly turning to anger, judging on the way Rogers was eyeing the God, and on the stirring feeling in Thor's gut. 

"Alright Thor," Cap breathed, clearly fighting his stirring irritation. "What do you suggest we do?"

This was where Thor was silent. 

He felt his stomach twist in slight embarrassment as he felt the eyes of the remaining team fall to him expectantly. He didn't answer, mostly because he knew that he didn't have one. He was confused and helpless, and even though no one here had seen him in ages, he felt exposed and completely vulnerable, like everyone could see every bad, weak side of him.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and decided to be honest. "I don't know, at the moment." 

Rogers sighed just as Colonel Rhodes pitched in from next to Thor. "Well, we better figure something out. We can start with trying to find Tony and the others who seemed to have flown off the face of the earth."

"And my team," the rabbit chimed in plainly. "You know, if they're still alive, that is," he said sarcastically, sadness tugging at his voice. 

"Rhodes is right," Banner spoke suddenly, trying to lighten the subject. "We can start by finding the others. I saw Tony with these other wizard people before they all vanished."

"Well then," Widow said, turning to the group, forcing her eyes away from Vision. "We can't just stand around here the rest of our lives. What are we going to do?"

Thor looked away to the forest floor, where Stormbreaker, drenched in Thanos' blood, lay motionless against the leaves. "I have an idea," he mumbled. 

The rabbit's head perked up at Thor's voice, realization hitting him at the same time it did Thor. "That could work," he spoke at the god. 

"Care to share?" Rhodey asked curiously.

"It's risky," Thor said softly, lifting the axe slowly from the ground, feeling slightly nauseated from the blood. Not because of the liquid itself of course, as he had seen many gory things in his past - but because of who it belonged to, and the thought of the titan made his chest swell with anger and guilt at the same time, wishing he could've done something more effective to save everyone. 

He didn't know if the team realized how much he blamed himself for their loss - after all, he should have gone for the head, or the arm possibly - either way, there was no way to undo what was already done, and it put a tremendous amount of pressure on his shoulders. 

"Well?" Cap piped up quietly, his arms crossed. 

"Stormbreaker, my new weapon it . . . it can summon a broken bit of the Bifrost, meaning I can use it to travel where I so desire, anywhere in the known universe."

"Then what are we waiting for? We can use it to find Tony!" Bruce commented from the Hulkbuster armor. 

"How can we do that when we don't even know where they are?" Rhodey pointed out. 

"Exactly the problem," Thor stated. "Normally in times like this, I would call upon my dear friend, who can see . . ." he began to trail off at the thought of Heimdall, clearing his throat several times before forcing himself on. They shot him worried glances, somehow knowing how this would end. "He could see anything in the universe at any given time. But we . . . uh . . . well we can't . . ." he took one final deep breath. "He's dead, so we can't really ask him for such a favor, so . . ."

"I'm sorry, Thor." It was Banner, who had taken it upon himself to exit the armor, sending it back through the forest. He approached him and gave him an awkward hug, in which Thor awkwardly returned, his axe still in hand. The others followed soon after, promptly apologizing, which in a way only made Thor feel worse.

"It's alright, I'm used to it, I guess," he laughed sadly.

An even more awkward pause followed, before the rabbit cleared his throat. "Let's start figuring out how to do this then, I personally don't want to sit around here all day." 

"Not all of us should go," Widow suggested. "Most of us should stay here to survey the damage."

"She's right," Rogers said quickly. "Thor and umm . . . the . . . . raccoon should go to find the others." 

"The name's Rocket," the rabbit mumbled in annoyance.

"Why wouldn't you want to come with us, Rogers?" Thor asked, wondering why his friend seemed to be avoiding traveling in search of the others. 

"No reason," he answered in great haste, nearly cutting Thor off. "I think it's just better to split up, is all. Besides, we have a lot of things to do here. Maybe we can talk with T'challa and Shuri about what to do next, see if they know anything. That sort of stuff."

"If they're still her-"

"Yes, if they didn't . . . well," Cap trailed off, his eyes capturing the ground in a hesitant pause as the thought of the people fading away to ash crossed everyone's minds. 

Thor eventually nodded solemnly in understanding. He understood that there needed to be people here to see what was left of the country's people, and if there was anything they could do to help. But at the same time, Thor would've thought that Captain Rogers would've been first to jump at the opportunity to rescue Stark and the others.

Either way, it was the least of his problems at the moment, and Thor was forced to set aside his aching heart as he put his mind into helping bring back the universe. The only way they would win, was if they temporarily put their grief behind them, and fought with every ounce they had.

That included putting Loki and Heimdall's deaths behind him for the time being, no matter how hard it hurt. His heart ached with the mere remembrance of his loved one's deaths. 

I assure you brother, the sun will shine on us again. 

Thor shivered at Loki's voice inside his head, something that refused to leave his brain since Thanos' attack on the ship. The only way it will Loki, is if we try to do something, even if it is stupid and reckless. 

Thor followed in pursuit of the shattered team as they led one another out of the forest, pacing slowly and painfully back to the battlefield where all hell had broke loose in what seemed like just seconds ago.

                                                '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Thor hadn't been here long, and he hadn't known any of the country's people, but already his heart was heavy at seeing the mass loss of its great warriors. Even though he had been mainly focused on his own personal fighting during the battle, he did have time to notice the amount of warriors on the battlefield - and the devastating difference now. 

He had also learned that the king had evaporated after Thanos' snap, which he knew wouldn't be all that good for the Avengers' team. The Shuri that Rogers had spoken of had turned out to be the King's loyal and loving sister, a smart, young girl who was quick to answer everyone's questions. However, pain was evident in her eyes as soon as he had seen her, and he instantly recognized the dip in her facial features and the way her steps were more shuffled, her shoulders slumped slightly despite her status, and the way her eyes carried that sense of sorrow. 

She had helped the team in as many ways as she could, and instantly the rabbit and Thor were whisked away to New York with Dr. Banner, as Bruce had mentioned another wizard who had stayed behind who may've been able to help them find Stark. 

So, that's where they were now, in a place that seemed very recently familiar to Thor. 

He was able to remember the address - 177a Bleecker Street - as the place he had come in search of his brother who was oddly kidnapped by a wizard who went by Dr. Strange. Thor had also learned that this 'Dr. Strange' was the same man that had wielded the powerful Time Stone, and the same one in which Stark had disappeared with. 

Thor knew to fear the worst almost as soon as he had connected the dots, figuring that Strange had ultimately met some kind of painful end, seeing as Thanos had managed to collect all the stones, including the Time Stone. Of course, he could be wrong, and he was hoping he was; but as of now, things weren't appearing to be in their favor, so he wasn't wrong to assume the Doc's death. 

Banner was speaking with the other wizard who had called himself 'Wong,' and Thor and the rabbit (who was apparently also known as Rocket and wasn't actually a rabbit?) sat quietly waiting on some sofas in the dark, rather eerie building. 

The rabbit was silent the entire time, which didn't come as a shocker to Thor - he had lost a lot as well. So, the silence left Thor to deal with his scrambled thoughts. Which naturally, hadn't cleared up any since Wakanda. He had spent his time trying to understand his brain, which had actually proven to be a lot more difficult than he had thought. He couldn't seem to figure out why he was feeling so many things at once. 

Well, he knew why his heart was heavy, that was for sure; but he didn't know why he was feeling pity towards almost everyone he came across, even if they weren't directly related to the current issue. Perhaps he assumed that everyone had been affected by the titan in some way, which was a very likely possibility. But at the same time, he guessed that he pitied those who had lost more in one day than Thor had his entire life. 

One might say that that was hard to believe, seeing as Thor had lost his entire family and his one best friend, but Thor didn't seem to make the connection. Really, he decided that he had had it better, as he had lost his loved ones over time, giving him time to mourn in between. Sure, these past two losses had been the worst yet, but still, he was sure there were people who lost their entire families in just seconds, which he knew far surpassed Thor losing only his brother and friend to Thanos. So, did he really feel more pain than everyone else? Or was it the other way around?

Parts of him were also worried and even slightly scared, dare he admit it. He didn't want to know what had become of Stark and rabbit's friends, as he had no way of knowing if they had survived Thanos himself, let alone the snap. There was a chance that no one had made it, including Stark, and it was a sickening feeling to know that it was possible that he was gone too. 

As for Hawkeye - well, Widow had told Thor that he had been away on 'house arrest,' whatever that Midgardian term meant. She hadn't had time to explain as Thor and his compadres left as soon as the plan was developed, using Stormbreaker to travel to the Wizard's home, which was formally known as the New York Sanctum. 

Thor lifted his head as Banner and Wong paced back to them, Banner holding a book similar to the one the Dr. Strange had used when Thor had visited previously. 

"We know where they are," Banner said softly. His voice was deep and sad however, like he  knew something they didn't. "Wong was able to find a spell that could track down any person in the given universe, but-"

"But what? What is it? What's wrong?" The rabbit demanded, immediately standing from his chair, anticipating bad news. 

Banner nervously scratched the back of his head. "W-well, it's just that . . . the person or being needs to be, umm . . . alive to track them, and . . ."

"Only two of them remain," Wong blurted sternly. 

Thor clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together as his stomach lurched. He wasn't sure he wanted to know who was left, and suddenly the idea of 'saving' his friends didn't seem all that appealing. "Which two?" he forced himself to ask, his eyes meeting the wizard's.

Wong sighed heavily, pressing his eyes tightly together. "The only one we know for sure is Tony Stark. There was another signature we picked up on, but we couldn't identify them seeing as we don't know who they are."

Everyone in the room took a moment to themselves, their eyes refusing to meet one another's gazes, their breathes deep with sorrow and remorse. 

Thor didn't know how to feel anymore. Sure, Stark was alive, but simply thinking about all the others they had lost was painful, even if Thor hadn't directly had time to bond with the rest of the rabbit's teammates. 

Even further, they had no way of knowing if the others had perished from the snap, or from Thanos himself. Thor had been right about the Doc, however, as he was told that he had been with Stark the entire time. From what he was also told, Stark had a kid with him named Peter, who apparently had also died. 

Thor closed his eyes for what seemed like the seventieth time today, secretly hoping he could sink away into the darkness he sought hiding behind his own eyelids, not knowing if he could take any more loss. The loss of his brother and friend was still heavy on his shoulders, and felt like a thorn lodged into his side - a constant reminder of the parts of him that were missing, and the parts of him that he may never find again. On top of their deaths, he also had all of his people to worry about, and recalling the moments on the ship where they were slaughtered endlessly pained him, and he felt like a horrible king. A slimmer of guilt crept through his veins, feeling horrible that he had abandoned his people in space.

"I have an idea who the other being is," the Rabbit nearly whispered, causing Thor to open his eyes and escape his thoughts. He paused before he continued. "Where are they?" he asked next, his voice cracking.

"Titan," Wong stated. "Thanos' planet." 

Another silence fell among them, causing Thor to shift uncomfortably. He didn't like the sound of that, at all. 

"We should get going then," Rocket demanded, clearly anxious and frustrated. 

"Yes, we shall," Thor jumped in with a nod of his head. 

They waved Wong goodbye as they exited the Sanctum, returning to the abandoned streets of New York. The city alone was creepy - no one walked down its sidewalks or drove on its roads - it was eerily quiet, and rather unsettling. 

After they had reached the streets, the three heroes huddled together, and Thor lifted Stormbreaker so it pointed to the sky. He hesitated, scrambling to mentally prepare himself for what he would be met with in just a few moments. "Take me to Titan," he finally whispered. 

A beacon of light shot from the sky and surrounded the three of them, and within seconds, they had vanished from the barren city.

They hit the planet with a boom, enough to shake the ruined city, and dust flew through the air at the sudden ferocity of the impact. 

As he gazed around him, he saw nothing but destruction in every direction - just mountains and mountains of brick and dust and filth, and he could pick up on the faintest scent of death, which alarmed Thor even more than he thought it would. The sky had an orange hue to it, like all time had stopped, and the air was thick with soot and dirt which felt gross to breathe. The awful silence didn't help either. If anything, it added to the already uncomfortable environment, and made Thor start to wish that he could hear anything else but quiet.   

"Where the hell are they?" the Rabbit asked suddenly, sounding slightly distressed as he looked around. 

"Stormbreaker probably didn't teleport us to their exact location, we'll have to look around," Thor exhaled, walking forwards.

"So this is Titan," Banner started, walking around and occasionally kicking a stone. "Wow."

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Thor replied dryly with sarcasm, squinting through the clouded air.

"Well, are we going to stand around all day, or are we going to find these guys and get back so we can fix this screwy mess?" Rocket snapped, impatient. 

"Yes we should probably-"

"STARK! STARK!" Thor suddenly thundered as loud as he possibly could, cupping his hands around his face. 

"DAMMIT, WHERE ARE YOU?"He screamed in frustration, as he stamped his feet. 

"That's not how I-"

"BY THE NINE REALMS, STARK! WHERE IN ODIN'S NAME ARE YOU?!" He piped up again, pouring everything he had into the yell.

"SHUT UP!" Rocket yelled at the god. "I heard something."

Thor fell silent for a moment, straining his ears. 

For a while, there was nothing. Then suddenly, he heard what sounded like a wheezed sort of choking sound, as if someone were choking on their own saliva. 

All three of the beings head's shot up as they began to sprint towards the noise, all the while Banner and Thor kept calling out to Stark. 

They were running for what seemed like ages, when the coughing stopped abruptly, just as the three hopped over a fallen pillar. 

Thor struggled to believe his eyes. 

There, lying on the rubble, was Stark's body, motionless. 

He looked like utter hell - his clothing was torn in multiple spots, and looked as if someone had thrown a bucket of dirt on him. Through the thick layer of filth and dust, Thor's eyes caught sight of several serious-looking wounds, especially one large gash on his side that was oozing blood slowly. His arms were sprawled out on either side of him, as his scarred head had lolled to the side, warm scarlet blood dripping slowly from the corners of his mouth. Yet, his eyes looked as if they were very softly closed, and a look of peace was somehow etched over his features, despite how terrible he appeared. There was something about the way that his body was still and motionless, and the way his face was soft and almost carried a warm, calm expression, that was unsettling to Thor. 

His heart sank lower in his chest as he realized that he recognized that look of peace - the one he had seen on his mother's face, on his father's - even as he drifted away - and even Loki's, after being strangled. It was the look of death.

Thor started to feel sick. 

"Oh no," Banner called out, rushing to Tony's side instantly, snatching his wrist to check his pulse. He was silent, before his head bowed down in sorrow. "No pulse."

Thor tensed, all his muscles tightening together as he felt his heartbeat accelerate. He was fighting tears, as he was now familiar with the moisture collecting behind his eyes. 

He wasn't only upset over Stark - there was everything else that he had seen in these past few days that killed him, and it seemed as though all of the emotion and pain he had felt came crashing onto him, crushing him like an insect. 

His eyes closed as he tried to force the image of Stark out of his mind, but it was no use - the scene had done its damage, and there was no way he would ever forget what he had just seen. 

It was then that Thor had truly realized just how much he had lost, and how much he had been capable of losing. His mother, his father, his brother, his sister, his best friend, his people, and now parts of his former team. A warm tear escaped him, and he refused to open his eyes. 

Was this how his life was supposed to be? Was he supposed to be alone forever? Was this what was written in his destiny? 

Was he supposed to feel this lost, this alone, this afraid, this weak?

Somewhere deep down inside, Thor knew that this wasn't his end, at least not yet. He still had a battle to fight, one last war to win before he could call it all quits, before he could return to what was left of his broken life. He tried to feel angry and frustrated in order to feed off of the feeling and strive for vengeance, but no matter how hard he tried, there was no such thing. 

There was only guilt and pain. 

Once again he thought of his final moments with Thanos, when he had snapped his fingers and instantly killed half of the universe. He thought of how he could've killed the titan, could've prevented those deaths and saved a whole lot more people. 

But his failure was set in stone, and he would always have the scars to prove it, and the absence of his friends and family to remind him as well. 

He was no longer the hero - he was the victim, he was the loser; the one who lost everything for nothing. 

His father was wrong, he wasn't powerful; he was nothing more than a frail and vulnerable coward.

Loki was also wrong - their brotherhood would never see the light of another day, the sun would never shine on them again. 

And lastly, Thor. 

Thor himself, had been the most wrong. 

Because truthfully, he had a lot more to lose than he ever imagined.